Why You’re Not Losing Fat

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast. Everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. What if the reason nothing is working is you not stress, not the plan, not the week, but you hear me out with this because it is one of the hardest things to face. But the self-reflection is the thing that we really need if we want to reach our goals. And probably the reason we’ve been struggling to see the success we want is because we’re not facing ourselves and truly taking ownership. It is really easy to place blame on everything outside of ourselves. It’s much more comfortable. We don’t like to admit that we’re wrong, but by not taking responsibility, by not doing that hard reflection on who and what we are, we are never going to own the reality of our lifestyle, and we’re never going to be able to meet ourselves where we’re at to move forward.

(00:53):
We’re going to keep forcing ideal after ideal mold after mold program and diet after program and diet on ourselves. And we’re never going to see lasting changes because we’re going to keep going on a diet versus making a true adjustment. So the hardest thing to do, and the thing we often need to do is really take a look in the mirror and look at our lifestyle, look at who we are, look at our flaws, our past failures, look at the traits about ourselves that we even really love and use those to our advantage. But we need to take that hard look in the mirror at ourselves to be able to meet ourselves where we’re at. So if you are not seeing results, instead of blaming something outside yourself, take ownership. Take that blame and say, what could I have done differently? How did I not somehow own who and what I am to be able to meet myself where I’m at?

(01:44):
And it’s not comfortable. We want to blame all other things. That’s way easier, but that doesn’t allow us to truly take ownership of our joint journey, and that’s what keeps us stuck. So I wanted to really boil these down into some steps to take, and the first step is stop skipping. The hardest part of reflecting on who and what you are. I want you to take some time today to even write down what your current lifestyle looks like. Because your results, what you have right now is a result of all of those current habits. And maybe you’ve already started to make changes. So you have to go back a little bit to assess what you were doing before those changes. But you need to remember that your current situation is a result of your past hustle. And so what we do in change right now is going to impact our future selves.

(02:31):
So take a look at your lifestyle. What does it really look like? Think about the habits that you even like. Are those really what you need to move you forward or are doing the habits that you like keeping you stuck and not allowing you to see the results that you want, but take an honest reflection and honest look at your current lifestyle. What are the habits that you are doing on a daily basis that are building the results that you have? Who and what are you in terms of your lifestyle? And what I mean by this is think about your good traits. What are your strengths? How could those be used to move you forward? What are some of your weaknesses? How are those holding you back or fighting against some of the habits that you’re trying to implement? The more we understand ourselves and our triggers, our patterns, what cues certain behaviors, the more we can really work around those things even to move forward.

(03:19):
It’s even thinking about things that are non-negotiable for us. Think about things that you really enjoy in your life. Have you always tried to cut those things out when you’re trying to make a healthy lifestyle change? And is that part of the pushback that you’re seeing? And why you always fall back into old patterns is because you’re doing something that’s too far outside who and what you are and the lifestyle you truly want to lead. And for me, as silly as it sounds, dessert was one of these things. I always would cut out dessert first. It was high calorie. It wasn’t healthy for me, but I was someone I defined as a dessert person. I like sweet. I wanted those in my lifestyle, so I would cut them out, but it would be so short term, and I really didn’t have any thought of cutting them out long term.

(03:56):
So I never saw sustainable results. And I often felt that pushback and felt restricted so much more because of trying to make that change versus embracing, Hey, I’m a dessert person. I’m a sweet person. I want to end the night with a sweet treat. So maybe how can I work it in macro friendly variations? How can I plan in that thing I want first? How can I find this balance to work this in and own who and what I am? And this can be so many different things. It’s not only dessert, it can be bigger lifestyle factors. It can also be traits. I know that I am a planner. I like to know what I’m doing. So therefore even on times where I can’t plan, how can I plan? Because I am very type A, I like to be very meticulous with my macros when I’m trying to hit them.

(04:34):
I had that all or nothing attitude, and I’ve loosened the reign since then because I embraced that I was that way at the start, and that allowed me to not feel so restricted. It allowed me to feel more choice, which then often makes things that we think you’re even non-negotiable, more negotiable. But because I knew that and I knew as a planner and I knew if I didn’t feel like I was doing things perfectly, I would fall off. I’m like, well, how can I make myself feel like I’m doing things perfectly? So that was sometimes giving myself less to focus on or it was saying, Hey, I am planning in this buffer when I’m going out to eat so that I feel like I’m still really rocking those macros. But steer into some of your traits to evolve habits around them. But that comes first with taking an honest assessment of what your current habits are and who and what you are.

(05:16):
Then recognize that all the mistakes you made in the past are data. They’re not proof of failure. They’re not proof that you stink or don’t have enough oil power. They are just data off of which you can make better decisions if you really analyze them. So often we try and run from them. We say, well, this just didn’t fail or this just failed for us. This just didn’t work. And we think about even things like keto and we’re like, well, it was low carb. That’s why it didn’t work. Okay, well, how many other diets have not worked? There’s a common thread there, and it’s you, but it’s also you responding to that thing. So maybe it wasn’t the low carb. Maybe it was the fact that you were cutting out foods you love and have you done that even if it was lower or if it was a diet that said only eat these foods, right?

(06:00):
Where else are you creating that restriction? That was the same thing as saying, I can’t have carbs. Where ultimately you wanted the food. You didn’t know how to work it in. You didn’t know your balance, and so you fell off. Really think about your past mistakes and think about how you can a, avoid making the same mistake in maybe a different form or even be plan and prepare yourself for the struggles that will come, because there are going to be hard times no matter how much you’re really trying to meet yourself, where you’re at, because we don’t want to do what we should do all the time. Even when we slightly enjoy the habits, they become sometimes too much effort if we’ve had a stressful day, a long day or we’re tired. So really assess those mistakes to plan for them because the more you even can predict something’s coming, the more when it happens, you’re like, oh, this isn’t that bad.

(06:45):
Or you have strategies to overcome it. Or when it happens and you are human and maybe you still make the same mistake, you get back on track that much faster because you’re slightly prepared for it. Even after vacations, maybe you come back from vacation, you struggle to get back on track. So you meal prep and the first time you go on vacation, that meal prep gets you right back on your healthy habits. You’re feeling really good. Maybe one time you come back from vacation and you do that same pattern thinking, okay, this was perfect last time, and you don’t get right back to that meal prep. But instead of it being weeks, it usually is you feel like you’re starting over. Maybe you have a couple days and you’re like, okay, I have this here. I can do this. Or maybe you don’t go back to the meal prep, but you eat healthy enough and you track eating out because you want to get back to the healthy habits enough.

(07:26):
Even if you’re not fully motivated to get back to your intensive ratios, maybe you hit a minimum, but there’s always improvements that you can make by owning the past mistakes that were there if you treat them like data instead of like you failing. And again, when we make mistakes, it’s the perfect time to analyze what was off in meeting ourselves, where we’re at, where do we not notice triggers of effort, not feeling worth it even because sometimes it’s even evolving habits just to match what we need. Now with a new season, maybe tracking and doing intensive macro ratios, and we even did a mini cut before vacation felt really good, but it’s a struggle to get back to those intensive ratios right after instead of trying to force them. If we find that that just sabotages us more to want to do it even less, why don’t we come back and do minimalist macros?

(08:10):
So it’s assessing where can we feel that pushback a little bit more to even proactively give ourselves permission to step or evolve? Because I think that’s another part of the problem is sometimes we feel like we’re giving in, we’re giving up, we’re letting ourselves all the hook, and then makes it even harder to make a change, and then we pressure ourselves to try and do all of it even more, and then we end up doing nothing. Instead of saying, Hey, proactively, I’m going to just give myself this because I know this will end up creating the success mindset that makes me want to do more, but recognize that mistakes are data and then embrace even these mistakes that life is going to happen instead of trying to fix everything, so to speak. Because so often we do try to force this ideal on ourselves, which ultimately only creates worse mindsets about tools, about things like tracking.

(08:54):
We feel even worse about doing them. We feel even more restricted doing them because we’re trying to force these fixes on ourselves versus embracing what is the next step for us based on where we’re at right now. But all of this comes back to self-awareness, self-reflection. The more we can take time to pause at different checkpoints to be like, how am I progressing? What is actually going on? What could I evolve the better off we’re going to be versus just saying, oh, I didn’t hit my goal. It doesn’t feel worth it. And then throwing everything out. I know it’s really hard to do in the emotional moment, but even owning that of like, Hey, this is the pattern of self-sabotage that I have when I don’t see progress. This is what I want to do. Well, how can you then address that before you step on the scale?

(09:32):
You write out all the positive things that you are seeing. Look at your true consistency. So then you can sort of say, okay, I was consistent this week. I should see the scale change. If it doesn’t, well then what am I going to do to adjust? And that way you go in just seeing that as data versus if you just step on the scale and you feel like you’ve been consistent and maybe you even weren’t, but you didn’t look at analyze the data, then you just throw everything out. Instead of saying, oh, there is room for opportunity. I wasn’t as consistent as I thought I was, or I was off in these habits. Or Here’s room for improvement. Because guess what? No matter how good you are, how perfect you are within your macros, there’s always an area to improve. Maybe you were eating things late and it was simply that you ate closer to the time that you weighed.

(10:09):
Maybe you started a new workout progression in you’re sore so that it doesn’t even have anything to do with how perfect you were with your nutrition. But it’s like in analyzing those things too, we can also assess where our mindset is. Because effort is about mindset. These things feel like a lot of effort. It doesn’t mean that we actually made a lot of changes. And so that’s where we have to break things down and embrace even evolution in things. Embrace the failures that were there potentially, or the lack of outcome that was there to create strategies, but not just turn to how can we fix this? How can we force some mold? But all this relates back again to taking that hard look and facing yourself and really reflecting on who and what you are and what your lifestyle looks like to evolve that versus going on another program. We go on a program, we’re not truly acting as if we’re not embracing the true lifestyle change that comes with reaching a new goal. We have to focus on adjusting, not just on going on a new plan. As much as that can seem like the way.

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.