podcast Archives | Redefining Strength

Why Consistency Is So Important For Fat Loss

by Cori Lefkowith | Sep 11, 2025 | podcast

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Change Requires CHANGE

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Change Requires CHANGE

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Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast. Everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. You know what the suckiest truth, the hardest fact you have to face. If you want to see lasting results and the best results as fast as possible, you have to be consistent. And it’s a forever process. You can never stop doing what made you better. Yet, when we really think about what we’ve often struggled with, it is consistency with something. We search for a perfect workout, a perfect diet plan, and we keep ourselves stuck in the same cycle of doing something, seeing some progress, maybe not as much as we hope to only have life or stress or something get in the way. And I actually did a poll in my broadcast channel on Instagram asking, what do you find is the biggest struggle to getting consistent?

(00:51):
And it wasn’t even enough time. It wasn’t knowing what to do. It was life getting in the way and stress. And I thought this was such an interesting thing because I think it’s a mindset that I struggled with for a long time, and I see it a lot with clients as well. But it’s this mindset that we have to be on this perfect plan or there is some routine or habit we have to be in order to see results instead of realizing that habits and routines are very individual and can be done in so many different forms, like tracking. We think when we think of tracking, we have a very specific image in our head, but tracking isn’t just only that one image. It isn’t just using a food tracking app, for example. It could be using visual portion guides, it could be taking pictures of your food.

(01:32):
There’s lots of ways to track what we’re doing to get data. And I bring this up because so often we let stress or life be our excuse for not being consistent, but we need to be consistent if we want to see results. So these things are warring. And the reality is, is that we have to own our lifestyle, own our stressors to create something we can actually be consistent with. So instead of seeing it as life or working towards our goals, we have to realize that the only way we can work towards our goals is if we own our life. If we find those minimums we can do, if we embrace this forever process, because what you do to reach a goal isn’t even what you do to maintain it. And in the process of working towards that goal, you will have evolutions. I go over the three phases of fat loss a lot of times where we will go on those lifestyle builds, so to speak, where we are trying to create habits that overall feel very sustainable, that feel like something we can be consistent with.

(02:25):
And when I say sustainable, it doesn’t mean easy, but they feel very much in alignment with our overall life. That isn’t actually how we approach dieting a lot of times. Usually when January hits, we get really motivated with the new year. We go all in and we actually go into more of a mini cut. We push all these sort of extremes. And I’m not using extremes in a bad way, but it is still perfection things, right? The six days a week ideal workout schedule, really clean macros, extra clean foods, maybe not even eating out as much, not traveling. We have these different time periods where we feel like our life is ideal for seeing results. And so we plan for those times only. And then when life is no longer like that, we don’t know what to do. Not to mention we’ve seen the progress.

(03:05):
We get a little complacency with that, but then we don’t evolve because we have this picture of this is the only thing I do. And in being so clean, trying to be so perfect, we don’t own actual habit changes to handle life. We only start at the right time. And then that’s what never builds lasting change. So instead of doing that, we have to sort of recognize that what is going on with life? What does that lifestyle build? So instead of just doing the mini cut, which is one of the phases of fat loss, where we’re going to more extremes and our deficit trying to push our workouts a little bit harder, we’re doing things that yes, yield potentially a little bit faster results, but really aren’t meant to be done. And we try and force them instead of saying, okay, what’s this lifestyle build?

(03:45):
What can I do to owe my life? What do I really want on weekends? How are weekend habits even different so I can really plan around them instead of trying to force some mold? And there is the balance of these two things. You can’t always just do what you want. If you’re like, okay, well on Friday nights I like to have my margarita, I like to let loose, I like to have my cheat day. That might be all well and good, and that might be part of your lifestyle build, but there might also have to be those weeks where you do that mini cut where you’re like, Hey, I’m not going to do this. And it’s not that I’m restricting, I’m making this choice not to do this, to understand the impact it really has. And because right now it is really important that I go a little bit faster towards my goal, but with that balance, we get so honed in on only that weekend, right?

(04:22):
Oh, I’m not having something this weekend over realizing like, Hey, I’m not having something this weekend. But part of this is also then having the vacation where I can go a little bit more crazy and not feel as bad. And so that’s where we’re seeing those two things, and that’s where even the third phase of fat loss can come into play. Diet breaks where we actually have to slow down to speed up because if we just keep constantly pushing, we don’t realize that mentally we’re getting burned out. We’re not pausing to assess changes in our lifestyle, and even our metabolism is adapting in a way that we’re going to see results slow despite working just as hard. And so sometimes easing off that gas pedal a little bit in advance can really help us. So we want to use those three different phases, and I bring those up because that is what building actual results is all about.

(05:06):
That is what is embracing the forever process that is reaching your goals. And with this forever process, you can never stop doing what made you better. While habits will shift, because what you do to reach your goal is not what you do to maintain it, right? You don’t just stay in a deficit when you’re trying to maintain your weight, when you’re trying to even build lean muscle and rev that metabolism back up potentially after being in an extended deficit. But there is some evolution in those habits. And so you can never stop doing what made you better in that. You can never forget those fundamentals. If you’ve done rehab work for an injury, that rehab becomes prehab. No, you might not be doing it as much. You might have to include all the moves all the time because you might have more consciousness of where you’re seeing overload creep in, but you’re going to keep in some of those fundamentals, the foam rolling, stretching and activation that you’ve done, you’re going to keep in some of those moves that you did to make you move better and make sure that you’re still strengthening.

(05:54):
You’re going to be intentional with exercises to still focus on what you feel working. You’re going to keep those fundamentals in. And as a human, you’re probably going to get a little lazy within my points and have to come back and do a little bit more because you did a little bit less, right? That’s the ebb and flow, but you’re still doing all the things that helped you get there because you have to maintain those habits. It isn’t a set and forget a thing, it isn’t do one thing and then you’re fixed, right? You don’t brush your teeth once and be like, okay, my teeth are clean, I’m good, right? No, you have to do that every single day, multiple times a day to really maintain those results. Same thing goes, it goes back to that saying success is never owned, it’s rented and rent is due daily.

(06:31):
You have to make sure that you’re doing the things daily that build the habits and the person you want to be. If you think about everything you have in your life, it is built off of everything you’re doing consistently. So when we do reach our weight loss goal, when we do see progress, we have to keep doing those things. The form we do them in just evolves. So tracking where you might be doing intensive macro ratios might become more minimalist. You might shift the macros you’re doing. You might shift your workout schedule, but you’re optimizing everything you’re doing based on your schedule and even owning the mindsets that come with it, because you can never stop doing what made you better. And this is a forever process, and that means embracing that life is going to try and get in the way, and it’s not trying to do something despite that. It’s trying to own your reality to constantly plan for it so that you can do those minimums, pay that daily rent, and see success truly lastingly snowball.

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

Building Better Habits (Start TODAY!)

by Cori Lefkowith | Sep 4, 2025 | podcast

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Change Requires CHANGE

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Change Requires CHANGE

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Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast. Everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear, do it now. There is never a right time to start, never a perfect time of life. And when we keep trying to wait for one, ultimately we keep ourselves stuck or we create habits that really aren’t lasting. That’s why I’m super excited to dive in today with Michelle about building habits now, especially before the holidays, after we’ve seen potentially a little summer slide. So Michelle, thank you so much for joining me today.

Michelle (00:35):
Thank you for having me. This honestly is one of my favorite topics, discuss because so often we let excuses pile up and the holidays is probably one of the biggest excuses that we use when it comes to our health and our nutrition and our fitness.

Cori (00:51):
And these months right in between what I sort of call the summer slide and the holiday downfall often aren’t used in the way they really can be used. And part of that is because we do see a change in schedule with work going back to school, those different things which sabotage us potentially in a different way, but it makes it hard to get in a groove when we even know that our lifestyle is going to shift. So I really want to talk about how we can use these couple of months where we’re not in summer mode, we’re not in holiday season, but life is still not necessarily easy and working for us. It often is in the new year. To kick things off,

Michelle (01:31):
What you just said is one of my favorite things because I think it just piles onto, there’s never the perfect time and if you keep trying to wait for that perfect time, it’s not going to come. So the best thing to really do is to try and find those small habits that you can slowly start to build and really make into your routine, especially when your routine is starting to be thrown up in the air. It’s kind of finding those non-negotiables that you are going to be consistent with day-to-day.

Cori (02:00):
And in finding those, it really comes back to owning our lifestyle. So it was really interesting. I brought this up a couple of times, but I was very fascinated by this response. I put a poll in my broadcast channel and I asked what was the real struggle to get consistent? What usually sabotaged you? And it wasn’t time, it wasn’t knowing what to do. It wasn’t results being too slow, it was stress and life getting in the way. And I think this response is our belief that we have to do habits in one specific form at a certain intensity, all or nothing attitude. And that’s ultimately what prevents us from getting consistent over owning our lifestyle because the reality is life is always going to happen, so we have to learn how to really navigate it.

Michelle (02:45):
Exactly. It’s finding those true foundations for you that again, you can build off of. And so if we’re trying to find those true foundations, where do we start? I think the most important thing is to truly find just the small tweaks that you’re going to be able to initiate daily. And when I’m saying small, I’m saying let’s just focus on setting one nutrition goal and one fitness goal and really having those be your anchors. So even if you need to drop down to a bare minimum approach, you have those two main things that you are going to be focused on that no matter what hits, that’s going to be something that you’re going to ensure that you’re going to hit on and make sure you’re getting to every single day.

Cori (03:31):
And I think that’s sometimes hard to assess what those are because we even look at the habits we might’ve had and it feels like we’re taking a step back. But if we don’t assess the evolution that needs to happen there, that’s where we feel like the effort doesn’t feel worth the outcome. If we think about it like a budget, the habits that we’ve been doing cost us a certain amount and all of a sudden with a seasonal shift, they might feel like they cost us a lot more than they were before. And so stepping back is the way that we can keep doing something. How do you navigate though what I almost call the guilt of doing less?

Michelle (04:05):
I think it’s honestly just requires a little bit of a reframe in that thought process in general is because so often we, I always use the word pedestal, but I really think we put pedestal habits on like, oh, if I’m going to be trying to hit this health goal or this is my end goal, I need to make sure my plan is this so that others know that I’m trying to do X, Y and Z. We kind in my opinion, sometimes we worry a little bit about what other people are seeing us portray versus just doing the boring basics. Sometimes we want other people to see what we’re doing and to see that we’re taking action, but truthfully, what’s going to actually lead you to results are going to be the things that honestly people aren’t going be seeing. There aren’t going be the glory and kind the boring basics that you do day to day.

(04:58):
So I think it’s really about kind of reframing that mindset a little bit so that you are doing it truly for yourself and making sure that you are setting up strong habits because otherwise you’re going to have that wagon to fall off of. And when it comes to your health and your nutrition, there is no wagon to fall off because this is your routine. This is something that you need to do daily and it doesn’t matter on the ups or the downs or what the season brings or what life throws at you. This is your journey.

Cori (05:31):
I love that description of pedestal habits because I do think we have these ideals that a lot of time it’s self-inflicted pressure to maintain, I have to work out six days a week. Well, if that’s not realistic for your schedule, designed for the time you have, you’ll still see results. And I get it, it’s because we’ve seen this is the best thing for x, and so we want to strive for that, but it’s where we ignore the benefit of the minimums that something is better than nothing. We do think, oh, what’s the point of doing X? It’s not the ideal, so what’s the point? Well, it’s still going to move you forward. And I like to ask myself at those times the question of what’s the alternative? If you are not doing something to move forward, you are doing nothing or potentially the opposite of something you should be doing, which only is going to make you end up losing progress.

(06:17):
Even if you maintain it, you’ve still maintained all the other progress you’ve made so that when you are at a time where you can do more, you can do those ideals, you can move forward faster. So I think even thinking of it as like what’s really the alternative if I’m not doing something can help us reframe those. And I love that you mentioned the minimums too because I think it goes back to momentum and that momentum is so important. Can you dive into how we even talk about momentum and why that matters more potentially than doing some pedestal ideal habit?

Michelle (06:49):
So one thing that I wish more people took into consideration and kind of lived by a little bit is momentum is always going to be motivation. Your motivation, you can come in on a journey. I mean we see it so often like the post January, like, oh, I have all this motivation, I’m going to be sticking to these health plans, but motivation fades. I’ve never met anyone, I’ve never had any client, I’ve never worked with any athlete that has told me that their motivation is always high, their motivation is always going to be there. So what’s going to be there is building that momentum. So if you’ve already built momentum going into the holidays, you’re going to keep rolling and actually see that momentum build because the one thing that we’re talking about doing the minimums, doing the basics. I also will say, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that does one habit that doesn’t roll into another habit.

(07:43):
So you end up getting that momentum building and pretty soon what was starting as that bare minimum you’re building and building, even if you’re only doing one thing to start your day. Oftentimes just having that mental focus on that one thing, you tend to make a little bit better choices throughout the day. You tend to have that anchor as to, oh yeah, this is my goal. And your goal could simply be, I want to feel good on this trip. I want to feel good during the holiday season so I’m not waking up kind of cranky and not feeling great and dealing with digestive issues when I’m also around family and friends and going on this trip or vacation. It can just be as simple as you want to feel good. So having something that you’re anchoring to is going to help build that momentum.

Cori (08:30):
And momentum builds motivation a lot of times to do more because you feel successful versus when you are striving for an ideal and you can’t do it versus setting those minimums that you can’t actually master, you feel like a failure and that makes you less motivated, less wanting to do more. And in really frank terms, and probably a term we’re more comfortable with discipline, momentum is discipline. When you build momentum with those little things, that’s what creates discipline. It’s not trying to do an ideal and forcing it and trying to willpower your way through. It’s that little bit of action that makes you feel more successful. So it makes you want to do it more. So that keeps the ball rolling because that’s where you see that discipline really hit. I want to keep doing these things because I really do see the payoff from them and that’s often what carries us through and makes us create those 1% improvements that ultimately pay off

Michelle (09:24):
A hundred percent. It’s that momentum, the discipline and the motivation. It’s just the nice, it’s talking on top of it.

Cori (09:35):
So in terms of carrying us through the holidays, how can we really use this time right now to make sure that during the holidays we are still making progress and again, not what we want to hear, but maintaining the results that we built before helps us go into the new year ahead of where we would be, have we fallen back into old patterns and routines or lost all the things we built? It sets that foundation a little bit higher in terms of the habits we’re already doing so we can build off of them more, but how can we use this time to build that momentum through the holidays to keep us going?

Michelle (10:08):
Right now is the time to find what those anchor habits are going to be. And I like what you’re saying as far as making sure we’re maintaining not backsliding, and I’m going to emphasize that just a little bit because I think so often we think, well, I’ll just maintain, I’m going to start later. But you don’t tend to maintain, you do tend to backslide, so usually you get further away from your goal versus if you would start these habits now you’re going to go in a little bit better and you’re not going to have more work to do later. So it’s really about looking at the future you too and be like, there’s no day better to start than today. So it’s anchoring yourself in those most important habits for you going into this holiday season and right now with the routines, with a lot of our routines kind of shifting and changing, a lot of times people are like, well, once things calm down and I have my routine, then I’ll do it.

(11:00):
Why not build your routine around the habits? So if you have your changing schedule and you’re trying to figure out that changing schedule, start by implementing some of those anchor habits into your schedule. So then when you get the more solidified schedule, you have these to even build it around. And this is really where I even encourage looking at what do you do already that you do without thinking it’s autopilot? Most of us that can be as simple as like, Hey, I brushed my teeth. How can you habit stack on that? Hey, I know I’m going to brush my teeth. Well, what can we do around that that is going to help be that trigger for a new anchor habit?

Cori (11:41):
And it’s creating these anchor habits off of what’s realistic for our lifestyle because what’s going to carry us through the holidays and even talk about building that routine. So often we try and build it when we feel like life is perfect and then the routine isn’t sustainable versus if we do take this time period right now where we’re like, oh, I’m not in a groove. I don’t know what’s coming next. Okay, well if you can find the little things you can even do now, think about when you have a more perfect time, how much more you can even build off of how much momentum will be there, how much a discipline will some of these other things will already be in place because going into the holidays we have to own the reality of the time. I think of it as what we want and what we actually want.

(12:19):
We say, oh, I want to lose weight. But when it comes push to shove, when we’re at that dinner, what we actually want is to enjoy the holiday with family. So let’s own what we want out of that season and then what our goals are, what we ultimately want, and see how we can navigate, how can I have some short-term enjoyment and also long-term payoff because the more we try and ignore the short-term desires that we do have, instead of own them, plan around them, account for them, find out what’s worth what to us, the more we can really create something sustainable over trying to push our way through ultimately cause ourselves to fall off, feel like a failure and then not even want to get started fully in the new year or feel more resistance to habits because they felt so unsustainable and so off from what we feel like our lifestyle really was. So it is finding that balance of wants and wants too.

Michelle (13:13):
I love that because that was actually a conversation I had recently with a client was talking about seasons and their seasons and owning your season. Now the goal, like you said, sometimes the goal is just owning that minimum, owning that maintenance, but it’s also looking at your season and where you value those shifts. And you may have seasons where, yeah, this is going to be my minimum. For example, the client I was talking to holidays, she’s like, yeah, holidays a day for me, but the summer, that’s when I’m traveling, I’m hiking, I’m canoeing, I’m doing all these things where oftentimes I’m in a group and I don’t have as much control with my food, so I have to focus on some of these minimum habits. And for some people that may be you where the summertime is actually where you need to focus on the minimums versus the holiday seasons.

(14:00):
But for a lot of us it is the holiday seasons is focusing on what are those anchor habits that we’re going to be leaning into. And then there may, we are going to own our season as to like, oh, this is going be the time that I do lean a little bit more in and maybe this is where I do a little bit more of a mini cut or try to be more aggressive in my muscle growth. So owning that is something that’s key. And like he said, I think it is even sometimes actually sitting down and writing down the things that you value out of the holidays. Is it the parties? Is it the family connection? Is there a way you can even kind of put some of these healthy habits into the family connection? We just had a holiday over this last weekend and I went on lots of walks because that was something that I could do like, hey, we’re going to sit here and talk. Why don’t we talk and walk? So something to kind of make sure that we are incorporating that with something that we also already are going to be enjoying.

Cori (14:59):
And then it’s understanding that you’re testing out sometimes during the holiday season, during a different season of life and when you’re making habit changes towards a specific goal, you’re testing out the habits. I often think about workout and nutrition changes that we make and the confidence we can build and the strength that we can see in ourselves as that microcosm for the rest of life where then we take that strength out into the world and can do a lot of other things because we built it there and the holidays are kind of this high pressure situation to test out habits and see what actually sticks and what feels sustainable for your lifestyle. And of course that will evolve over the year. But if you can find minimums that work at the worst of worst times, we’ll say the toughest of tough times, the least routine of times, the more you’ll be able to do those things at other times a year.

(15:44):
And if you get successful feeling with those, you’re going to want to do more. Because I do think so often we don’t recognize that a lot of what we dread with going on a diet making workout changes is things that have been associated during negative phases where we’ve tried to willpower our way through or pushed a habit that wasn’t really sustainable at that time. We haven’t built that true discipline with some of the components of it or matched it to what we really value. So seeing this as almost like practice for some of those habits could be a great way to reframe it for yourself.

Michelle (16:17):
Absolutely. And I’m going to go a little bit step further and kind of dive into this just a little bit because we’re talking about, we’re using the word habits, but it is sitting down and figuring out what that habit is. But you have to take it one step further. You can have that minimum habit, but unless you put an action plan in place of how you’re actually going to do it, then it’s just simple words. It’s like, yes, I want to eat more protein. That’s great. How are you going to do it? Are you going to focus on breakfast? Are you going to focus on one meal out of the day? Are you going to have a protein minimum for each meal? Are you going to up your protein with your snacks because you’re seeing that your snacks are just carb? How are you going to break it down?

(16:59):
And it is even doing sometimes the minimum within that habit. So your habit may be, yes, I want to have a protein goal. Okay, great. Let’s start. Where is the most important? And I’ll be honest, for most of us it is making sure we’re getting that protein at breakfast to set up your day. I really do encourage a lot of times to start the day with a habit, kind of going off of what we talked about earlier is because it helps build momentum for the rest of the day. So if you are able to do something first thing in the morning, you’re going to find that it’s going to affect your choices throughout the rest of the day.

Cori (17:34):
Success breeds more success when you do that one thing. And honestly, sometimes starting out make it so silly simple, you’re like, well, I can do this right this second as I’m talking about it. Great, do that one thing because if you set yourself up with breakfast, even if it’s just I’m adding one more ounce or I’m adding five more grams, that little thing that you do consistently makes you feel successful and you’re going to see progress from it. No, it might not be the sexy overnight changes that doing everything all at once can sort of lead to, but it’s still going to be that victory in terms of the habit. You’re going to feel disciplined with it and you’re going to want to do more. It’s the same thing with workouts. I’ve seen it happen where people will have six days a week they’ve outlined to workout and they’ll get in three of those days and be like, I only got three days.

(18:18):
This stinks. It’s horrible. Why am I even doing anything? And then all of a sudden they’re not doing anything. But they got in three workouts. Granted, the three workouts might not have been as optimized had they actually planned for three days, but they still got in three days. Now, had they said to themselves, I want to do two days this week because I feel like three is slightly a stretch, and they planned so that the workouts could be very full body, even two days would really maximize the time they had and then they did three. All of a sudden that shifts things, but it’s the same three days. Granted, one, you’re designing for the time you have, which is why it’s so key. We take ownership, but it’s about the mindset behind a lot of what we’re doing that we have to own if we want to see those changes actually build.

Michelle (19:03):
Yeah, I had someone similar that was like, I only have 10 minutes to get my workout in. What can I do in 10 minutes? I’m like, well, 10 minutes is better than nothing. And if you only have 10 minutes and you’re doing 10 minutes a day, it adds up. Like you said, we can always do more, right? But are we allowing ourselves to do the minimum when that’s all that’s allowed?

Cori (19:27):
I mean, depending on what you want out of those 10 minutes, not that I’m recommending you do this, but 10 minutes of burpees is going to make you feel pretty slaughtered. 10 minutes of mobility work is going to be a lot of great activation, foam rolling and stretching. So there’s a lot of benefits you can get out of 10 minutes if you own. I only have 10 minutes. And again, we so often think, is it even worth it? But what’s the alternative? Doing nothing. How is doing nothing at all going to move you forward versus the potential of at least that 10 minutes paying off? And then even just thinking about, okay, well what does this 10 minutes lead to? Because so often we get caught up in very much just the habit. Oh, well only eating five more grams of protein. What does that really do?

(20:06):
Well, the fact is, is you made a change and you made a change at a time where it felt like the wrong time to start. And then you’re also keeping in the routine, maybe 10 minutes, three days a week is still holding that spot for those three days and that’s all you have. But that makes it that much easier when you do have time for 20 or 30 because the ball is already rolling in the right direction. So we have to remember that it’s not just the habit, but the mindsets, the pattern. The other things that we’re building behind the scenes with some of these actions that really pay off,

Michelle (20:34):
And I think that’s important too, is so often we look at our habits are routines, and when it comes to nutrition and fitness, we always have a start and an end. We tend to be like, oh, well I’ll start and my goal is to go this long and we’ve already mentally put an end date on what those habits are going to be, and you can’t do that. It’s reframing that mindset and stop thinking about your nutrition and fitness goals to have a start and an end date. You can have checkpoints, but there’s no end to this. There’s no end to this journey that we’re on because guess what? You were given a body and we have the rest of our lives to take care of it, and it’s going to be very telling who’s taking care of it and who’s not as we age and we can’t stop the clock.

Cori (21:21):
So thinking about creating these lasting habits and knowing that they will evolve and going into the holidays, how can we make sure we’re sort of planning minimums that will truly survive? We’ll say the challenges that the holidays do present.

Michelle (21:37):
So you’re going to basically, you need to plan around having imperfections. You’re not going to have the perfect day. So what is that one thing you’re going to get done that day? And that’s going to be your anchor habit. I’m going to challenge everyone to find two, one nutrition and one fitness level where you are going to have some type of habit that you’re really going to anchor to, and it is owning your journey and owning where you’re at and your season and what you value. So it’s not always looking at what’s going to make the biggest impact, which oftentimes we live in that world. Well, what can I do that’s going to make the biggest impact? It is going to be, what’s the easiest thing I can do? What is that number one thing that I’m going to do that will, everything else will kind of build off of?

(22:27):
So I’m just throwing ideas out here at this point because again, this is going to be personal to you. It’s going to be what you can kind of find easier to add throughout your day. It can be the protein goal. It can be just adding that five extra grams. It can be having a protein minimum throughout the day. It can be making sure that you’re having protein with every snack. We don’t love eating. My favorite saying that, one of our coaches says is, you can eat your carbs naked, but don’t eat a naked carbs. So making sure that you’re having protein with every snack throughout the day. It can be that water goal, it can be a fiber goal. It can be that a fruits and vegetable goal, but finding something and then taking it one step further of how are you going to do it?

(23:12):
What actually are you going to do to hit that? And then the same thing with the fitness. Ideally, you may be that person that thinks that you need to be working out six days a week, but that’s probably not going to happen. The reality of it, especially during the traveling season and when we’re around family. So what is that minimum for you? How much time do you actually have? You may think that you want to be hitting an hour workout, but is the 20 or 30 minute workout going to be more realistic for you? Then we need to take it back to that, and oftentimes we underestimate that we need recovery. So going all full kilt, six days a week may not actually be the best thing for your body in the longterm to see results. So keeping those things in mind, and again, how are you going to do it? Is it going to be a step goal? Are we just going to make sure that you’re moving a little bit and getting in one walk? But whatever you choose, make it a non-negotiable. That is your anchor habit. Everything else is to build off of that one habit

Cori (24:15):
And then really assess not what you’ve been doing that might’ve been easier at this particular season, but assess what did you do this time last year and during the holidays? Because the more you assess those different things, the more you can be like, okay, during the holidays I tried to do X, y, and Z thing. I tried to hit full macro ratios, do six days a week. It didn’t work. I ended up feeling like it was starting over in the near. Okay. So instead of going that route, say, okay, what are the minimums within that? What did I actually do even when I felt like I was failing with everything else? Because you might notice that there were a few things that still stuck. So how can I start there and build off of them? But the more you assess time of year against time of year to find habits that really build from year to year, which again, is not the sexy overnight success we want, right? It’s not the overnight changes that we want. That’s really what’s going to end up lending itself to each and every year getting better and you making better and better progress towards your goals. So Michelle, any closing thoughts for people really looking to make changes right now? Set those anchor habits, the what and how? Any closing thoughts or great reminders?

Michelle (25:23):
I’m honestly just going to go with something that you’ve already touched on, but really just remembering if you build the habit when life feels chaotic, you’re going to be unstoppable when things calm down. So you’re really setting up your future self so that you don’t have another excuse that you’re allowing yourself to chase. So show up, stack those wins, and really go into the holidays ahead of the game,

Cori (25:49):
Build that momentum and share your anchor habits, the two that you are picking, so that you can really build those sustainable changes right now to carry you through to the new year.

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

How To Lose Fat Faster

by Cori Lefkowith | Aug 28, 2025 | podcast

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Change Requires CHANGE

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Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast, everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. I had some fat loss questions pop up recently and I wanted to cover the if, ands or buts about them and really discuss what you need to see the best results as fast as possible because I know there can be a lot of different shiny objects to chase a lot of different opinions out there. And ultimately there is a right and wrong, but a lot of it is based on what we need. And so I wanted to discuss the nuance behind certain things and then some of the general principles and rules that can really help. So fat loss q and A, your questions answered. And note, when I’m giving these answers to these questions, they are directly in response to fat loss as a goal.

(00:47):
There might be a different reply if you were asking about gaining muscle or fueling performance. So also be aware of that as you’re listening to how you’re implementing potentially the macro advice or the workout advice that I’m giving. So first question I’ve gotten a lot is cardio strength. First, when you’re doing your workouts and as much as possible I like to put them in supper days, but I will always tell you that strength comes first when it comes to fat loss and especially if it also comes to building muscles. So if you want that recomp to happen, you put strength first in your day because what gets put first gets prioritized and your freshest force, you’re pushing at a true a hundred percent intensity. Now note, as I mentioned, this is about fat loss. So if you are training for a race, you might prioritize your cardio because that is the most important thing to you.

(01:30):
But if you are doing this to lose fat, to see that recomp happen, you want to put your strength workouts first and even put the cardio after on a separate day. The next question I get a lot is too fast or not too fast. So intermittent fasting is a super popular meal timing, and I call it a meal timing, not a diet because you can use it as a meal timing with macros and a variety of macro ratios. While some people do use it to lose fat just because it’s restricting the eating window, I also think that can really backfire. So in terms of to fast or not to fast, the answer is really it depends. You want to use this meal timing based on your schedule, based on how you like to meal prep based on what works for you. Because if you force fasting, when you train early in the morning and you’re waiting until the afternoon to eat, that is going to backfire massively and you’re going to end up overeating in that window and it’s going to be harder to hit your macro ratios.

(02:17):
However, if you’re training at night, if you like to skip breakfast, it can really work for you. So fasting is definitely one of those things that it depends and it depends on your schedule, how you like to design things, but play around with your meal timing, realize that one size doesn’t fit all and what even works for you with fat loss if you really like intermittent fasting may not work for another goal. And as we get older, we also want to be aware of the ramifications and how sometimes having that smaller eating window can make us undereat. And if we’re trying to see that fat loss happen and gain lean muscle, sometimes we need to expand that eating window. Even in the past that has worked. So in terms of that, there’s not one definitive answer. It’s about testing what works for us in terms of that meal timing.

(02:54):
And as long as we hit our macros overall for the day, we’re going to see the best results. Next question I get asked is high reps or low reps, and the answer is both. When you are trying to lose fat and gain muscle, you want to use a diversity of rep ranges because they all have different benefit. We don’t want to fear lower reps and heavier loads to build that maximal strength because that will pay off in terms of hypertrophy and gaining lean muscle. But we also want to be conscious that we’re using those higher rep ranges to improve our strength endurance because too often when we demonize that we’re not taking a muscle fully to failure, we’re not fatiguing as many muscle fibers as we can. We’re also not improving our recovery to be able to lift heavier. And I love those combinations whether it’s 6, 12, 25 or compound burners where you’re using some of those heavy lifts, but also with more isolated movements and the higher rep range.

(03:41):
I think that’s also where we have to understand the nuance to how we use things is that it’s not just higher low reps, it’s also what moves are you doing for those higher or low reps. Now off of that, I often get asked heavier lightweights and the simple answer is always heavy weights. What I mean by that is what you use for higher reps may be lighter than what you use for lower reps. However, too often we just go through the motions and turn those higher reps into cardio and just really go fast instead of thinking, no, it needs to challenge me. One of my favorite training techniques to do this is rust pause training technique, especially in those high rep ranges where if you have 15 to 20 reps, you are shooting for 10 to 15 having to pause and then eke out those last few because you are using a weight that really challenges you instead of thinking of it as even heavy or lightweights.

(04:29):
Think of it as challenging weight for the rep range you’re doing because the weight should always feel heavy. And if you’ve been fearing heavy loads, know that as you work down in reps, maybe right now for you a low rep range is six reps or eight reps and you’re not going down to one to five, you still want to challenge yourself for those reps. And if you’re lifting heavy for those reps, you are going to see great muscle gains. Next question I often get asked is, what macro ratio should I use for fat loss? And this one, there are endless opportunities to how you can adjust your macros and there is not one macro ratio that fits everybody. I’ve seen it happen where people will be like, macros don’t work for me. And I’m like, well, what ratios did you use? And they’re like, well, I try this one and one ratio may not be right for you.

(05:10):
And also part of how macro ratios work is the cycling that you do with them. Maybe you do one lower carb to deplete those glycogen stores, tap into those fat stores, but then you go higher carb after to get that whoosh effect and release the water rate being stored in your fat cells. So you actually look leaner. There’s nuance to how you implement those macros and there’s a benefit to each macro ratio and each macronutrient even. So protein, carbs, and fat all have different purposes in the body and we need them for different reasons. And if you’re more active at one time and less active at another, the ratios will really vary. So instead of seeing this as trying to find a perfect macro ratio or even perfect macros to cycle, think about how can I match what I need right now and even experiment.

(05:50):
And as you do that experimental in my programs when I do the beginner ratios, I usually have what I call more experimental cycles where it’s higher protein with more even carbs and fat and then higher fat and then higher carb. Just so that you can see how you respond to each and what fits your activity level and what your body is fueled best by because there’s the nuance to that. And then even as we get older, our needs might change. But off of that and learning how you respond to those things, what feels even good in terms of the foods you get to eat because part of it is our consistency with things. And as long as we focus on protein, which I’m going to get to in a little bit, we’re going to see fabulous fat loss results whether carbs or fat are really higher.

(06:25):
So there’s a lot of room for playing right there with what fits our lifestyle. But I will tell you if you’re asking the question, what macro ratio should I use? What’s best for me? You need to start experimenting and even start by tracking what you’re doing currently because the best changes are made from where we’re starting from and that helps us take that first turn out of the driveway on our road trip instead of looking at the end of our road trip and what’s the last term we have to make that has no relevance to where we are right now. So if you’re asking the question, just track what you’re currently doing and then I’ll tell you focus on protein first. And off of that I often get asked, well, how much protein do I need? I’ve heard about one gram per pound of body weight or goal body weight.

(06:59):
Is that correct? And so while that can be a starting point, that might be really far off of what you’re doing. Not to mention our protein needs really vary based on our goals. So talking about fat loss when you are in that calorie deficit and the more extreme the deficit you’re in, the more important it’s going to be to get more protein to protect that lean muscle because our amino acid stores are our muscle tissue. So if your body needs amino acids and protein to repair because it uses it for so much other than just building muscle, you are literally made up of proteins. It’s used in all your tissues, so you need it for so many purposes and it can even be used for energy if really push comes to shove. But because it has so many functions within the body and it’s so important, if we don’t have enough, we are going to end up going to our muscle mass.

(07:44):
And so all that hard work and training in the gym where you’re trying to repair and rebuild, you’re not going to be having enough to repair and rebuild and you’re actually going to be canalizing that muscle mass to then have the energy and other things you need because you’re in a deficit, especially the more extreme of one you create. So you want to be conscious that you’re getting enough protein, and especially as we get older, we can see a reduction in protein efficiency and usage by up to 40%. So we want to be conscious that while that one gram per pound of body weight might be a great goal to shoot for, it may be too low for you, especially based on the calories you’re consuming based on your activity level and your age. It may be too much right now because it’s really high above what you’re shooting for.

(08:19):
So I want you to really start by focusing on where you’re at and we really do see a great improvement in terms of the benefits you’re seeing from higher protein at about 30% of your calories coming from protein. So that can also be a great way to really break things down. And then even as you’re potentially eating at maintenance or if you’re maintaining your weight right now with the calories you’re consuming, just shooting ’em for that 30% might be a great starting goal. But if you’re really low on protein and you’re hitting maybe 5%, think about just that small increase of even five to 10 grams at one meal. Then off of this, going back to working out, a question I get asked is, what about cardio for fat loss? I need to do more cardio for fat loss is even a statement I’ve heard a lot.

(08:57):
And while there are types of cardio that can be very beneficial for fat loss, too often we turn to cardio instead of strength training and we even turn our strength workouts into cardio sessions. And if we’re not building that lean muscle, we’re not going to fuel our metabolic health. We’re not going to see the recomp we deserve. So I will tell you, prioritize strength work over everything else if you want to really get lean and strong and be functionally fit to your final day on this planet and see fabulous fat loss. But we often turn to cardio because we see that higher calorie burn on our different trackers and too often we really depend on this to create that deficit instead of adjusting your diet. We cannot exercise your diet ultimately, and the more we try to, the more we end up sabotaging our metabolic health.

(09:34):
It’s why we lose weight to regain it. It’s why we lose weight, but don’t feel like we look any more toned or leaner defined. So we want to make sure that we’re focusing on strength. Now, in terms of the cardio that is most beneficial, I will tell you it is generally not the steady state cardio. We turn to the long runs, the rides. If you love those things, do them. But we’re talking about fat loss here. Alright, so don’t get mad or get mad, but we want to think about HIIT sessions and not just HIIT that goes on for an hour, but HIIT that is maybe 10 to 15 minutes of that intense cardio session. And that brings our heart rate up and down because there’s a little variation to it. And with talking about HIIT versus sit, HIIT is generally longer intervals than we are doing now.

(10:12):
That’s sort of where the terminology has changed a little bit and sit is more of that sprint interval of work. So where we’re doing very short intervals of work with potentially very long rest to recover or because they’re very, very short bursts of even five to 10 minutes of work at most, it might be a little bit shorter rest where you do see the point of diminishing returns, but you are sprinting all out because those intervals work are so short. So there’s some nuance to how you use hit intervals versus sit intervals. And you can even use sit intervals in different ways. Whether you’re doing a little bit more power work or you’re trying to actually hit that point of fatigue where you’re seeing a little, you’re a hundred percent intensity. Your true a hundred percent intensity goes down because if you might notice over the rounds, you still feel like you’re working at a hundred percent, but you’re not actually able to go at the same speed.

(10:55):
But we want those sprints to truly be fast versus the hit work, we will see more of a decline and there is a little bit more of just pushing hard. But again, neither one of these are really long sessions, which I see people too often trying to extend these out to the hour long sessions and they shouldn’t be that 20, 25 minutes at longest. And a lot of that has to do with the rest, not just the intervals of work. You do not want to cut out rest and then walking. Walking is one of the most underutilized forms of cardio for fat loss. The last thing I wanted to cover was age. Does my age impact things or am I too old to see results? You’re never too old to see recomp happen. You can gain muscle at any and every age. And yes, the longer we’ve been training, the more training stimuluses we have adapted to.

(11:38):
So the more that we will have to push progression in new ways. Yes, as we get older, there are changes with our body we have to own. Our hormonal environment is not as optimal. We aren’t as efficient at using protein. We will see more muscle mass being lost if we are not conscious of it, but it is a case of use it or lose it. So we need to constantly be pushing ourself, challenging ourself, learning to fuel to meet our bodies where they’re at right now, if we want to make progress. But you are not doomed because of your age. You do not have to just accept metabolic decline, middle age spread, all the different things we blame on age, more aches and pains even. I know that’s a little off of fat loss, but we can see amazing body recomp at any and every age. We just have to own the reality of our lifestyle and the different changes that we’ve seen with getting older. So hopefully that answers some of your fat loss questions. If you do have more, don’t hesitate to comment them. I’d love to cover some more in a future episode.

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

4 Tips To Create The Life You Want (Act As If)

by Cori Lefkowith | Aug 21, 2025 | podcast

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Change Requires CHANGE

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Change Requires CHANGE

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Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast. Everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear, stop faking it till you make it act as if. So on the surface, these two phrases sound very similar, but there’s a big difference in how we mentally and physically embrace them. When we say to ourselves, fake it till we make it, we’re pretending to do the habits. We don’t actually believe we’re becoming the person who has that lifestyle, who has those goals. When we say act as if we’re thinking about the ultimate person we need to become and the ultimate lifestyle we need to live to have the goals we want to have and to reach the success that we want to reach. And then we’re just taking actions to become that person. And that’s the really key component. When we’re working towards a goal, even something that might seem vain or silly or not as serious in our life, we are becoming a new person.

(00:55):
When you are working to get leaner, you are going to have to do the habits, the lifestyle of that person who is lean. Now, that doesn’t mean go look for some influencer online and try and replicate their exact lifestyle because that will not be what fits you. You’re not trying to force yourself into a mold, but you are thinking about your current habits and how they might have to evolve and how your identity might have to evolve to be at that goal. And if you think about even leanness as the example when you’re going to a party, there might be times you choose not to indulge in the way you’ve always indulged, especially at the start of your weight loss process. But then at some other point you do or maybe you realize that hey, me, always trying to restrict myself when I’m going to this party, trying to force a mold of some ideal I saw on some influencer’s story is actually holding me back from embracing the lifestyle that balance that I want so that I can have the recomp, but also the lifestyle that I know I ultimately want to lead.

(01:48):
So it really is this process of acting as if you are creating a new identity to some extent, and that can be sort of scary when we think about it. It seems like this huge shift. Are we losing ourself? But we’re not. And if you really think about most of our life growing up, we’ve seen the biggest growth. We’ve been open to changing and a little bit more fluid and flexible with who and what we are. We’ve changed styles, we’ve changed haircuts, we’ve done all these different things. We’ve explored who and what we’re really meant to be. And at one point, that’s a good point, a good thing that we should be doing. And at some point it becomes something that’s sort of frowned upon. We should know ourselves better, we should have the set identity. And that’s where we stop seeing growth really happen and we ultimately hold ourselves back.

(02:29):
We sabotage ourselves believing that we have to be this one way. And part of it is the things that have worked for us in the past, things that either even others peers have told us, the people around us have convinced us that we need to do even things that we feel the societal pressure to do. But at some point we have to question, am I being true to myself and the goals that I want? Because every goal matters if it matters to us because we ultimately have to live with ourselves. We are the only one that does. We’re committed to ourselves for the rest of our life. So I want to talk about how you can act as if to really reach your goals and give you four tips. And tip number one is embrace the discomfort and show up Anyway. Making changes is hard because what feels sustainable right now, what feels comfortable right now is what we’ve simply always done.

(03:11):
The patterns that don’t take any willpower, that don’t take any thought, that don’t take any self-control. If you were to reflect on a lot of the things you do, you kind of run on autopilot. Even some of the self-sabotaging behaviors, there’s a pattern of X thing happens during the day. You have this emotional response and this mindset. You come home, you put your bag down the same spot, you walk in the same number of steps basically to the kitchen cabinet. You open in the same way. You grab things out in the same way you put on the counter, grab it, right? There’s this whole routine pattern that you’re unconsciously repeating. And so in order to change that pattern, you have to not only put in behaviors and actions, you want to do change mindsets, but you have to recognize it’s even happening as soon as possible, which is hard.

(03:49):
It’s unlearning as you are learning, but this is what drives that acting as if. And so even more than thinking about, I don’t want to do this pattern, think about the pattern that would be helpful for you if you’re stressed out, what would be a helpful thing to do? Because the more we think about those actions of the person we want to become, the more we embrace growing into them and we see opportunity, it feels like something we’re choosing to do over something we have to do. And we’re not beating ourselves up with guilt over the old identity even creeping in because guess what? No matter how much you act as if, no matter how much you become, no matter how many years down the road, and I say years for a reason, if you think about the transformation in a lot of time from school, you’ve been at school, college, high school four years, and that’s the time it takes to really shift identity at least.

(04:29):
And the call to the old identity is always there because it’s something that was easy or comfortable or good for a reason. But we have to recognize that there is this push and pull and that what we need to do to make a change will not feel easier or comfortable or sustainable often to start because it’s not what we’ve always done unconsciously. It requires that conscious effort to not only unlearn but learn. So there will be discomfort in that change. And the more we embrace that and even see discomfort as a good thing, meaning that we are exhibiting growth, the better off we’re going to be. And again, it’s not seeing growth or change as a negative, which we do, especially with identity. It feels like, oh, I don’t know who I am or I feel all these peer pressures. No, act as if really see that lifestyle you want to build and then embrace that discomfort and do it anyway, seeing that as a good thing.

(05:11):
And then tip number two, set identity driven habit goals. So often we think about goals as I want to lose weight, so I want X weight on the scale. I want these measurements, even performance goals. It’s like I want X amount of pull-ups. I want to be able to do race in this time. What about all the achievement that there really is in the habits you’re repeating? So if you think about it, if you want to become the person that has this lifestyle balance, that rocks those pull-ups, what are the habits you need to do in order to get there? Celebrating those habits is really key. And not only, okay, yes, I need to change my workouts to do that, but how are you fueling to feel your best? How are you recovering to feel your best? All these things are going to be shaping your identity.

(05:49):
And the more we even embrace that these things are shaping our identity because they’re changing our lifestyle and probably even going to require some changes in our environment, the better off we’re going to be. But we should set goals that are habit driven, that are changing our identity. So hey, okay, I want to go to the gym five times a week, and I really struggled to get a routine. Okay, so going back off of that, instead of just saying, I want to go to the gym, and that being the habit of I was good or bad because I went to the gym, which I again can create guilt. Think about how do I get myself to go to the gym? Okay, I shift my environment, maybe I put out my gym clothes, maybe I put my gym bag on the front seat of my car.

(06:21):
So after work I see it right there and I have to go, how can you shift your environment and then celebrate even just that shift in environment, maybe the first time you don’t go with the bag there, you still make the excuse, but then the next day you feel a little bit more of a twinge of, okay, I have to go. There’s no reason not to. And then that sets the pattern in place. So really celebrate those other changes in the shift in your environment, in the shift in your identity, not just the eventual outcome. Because those daily things that don’t feel like they’re adding up, they are. And often because we see ourselves every single day, if you look in the mirror, you’re looking in the mirror every single day. You don’t notice all the changes that are accumulating. That’s why someone else can be like, oh my gosh, have you done something different?

(06:57):
And you’re like, I look different. So really celebrate and even set those habit identity driven goals. How are you shifting your environment? How have you even reflected on who you want to become and really are implementing all the lifestyle factors to get there, celebrating that will keep you consistent. It’ll make you feel good because we also have to remember that momentum is built, motivation is built off of momentum and success snowballs. The more you do, the more you do. So we really want to think, how can I create this success mindset? And you will feel successful doing something uncomfortable because you’ll be proud of yourself and see your own strength on the days you don’t want to work out. And you do, you feel a little extra good about it, right? But then you’re also doing a habit that is identity driven in doing that.

(07:39):
Hey, I’m the person that is disciplined in doing this no matter what. So the more we celebrate that, the better we feel better ourselves, the stronger we feel, the more confident in our abilities, the more we’re acting as if even the person we need to be and the better our results are going to be and the faster often. Tip number three is create minimums. So you always move forward. Really, our lifestyle is built off of things we do consistently, and they’re very small things often yet. So often when we approach reaching a goal, we make these dramatic lifestyle shifts. We go on a plan, we force some world over evolving our lifestyle. And then I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought this, I’ve seen other people write in about this or even say this to me, where they’re like, oh, if I can’t be perfect with a plan though, why do anything?

(08:22):
And if you think about that mindset, it goes back to the flat tire analogy that I love to use. That’s like getting a flat tire pulling over to the side of the road and being like, well, I can’t go anywhere. I might as well slash the other three. We would never do that. It’s ridiculous. But when we think about our nutrition plan, we think, oh, well, I can’t be perfect with it. AKA got a flat, so why do any of it? I’m going to slash the other three like the car and fire and walk away. But really what we need to do is say, okay, well how can I fix this situation or do as much as possible to get moving forward as fast as possible? Maybe you don’t have a spare in your car and you have to call aaa. Okay, well, at least I’m taking action to move forward.

(08:54):
It’s still something that is a positive in the right direction. So we have to remember that something is always better than nothing. And the more we can embrace those minimums, the more we’re meeting ourselves, we’re at. Even if you think about it as boxes, right? Let’s just say you could jump up onto that tallest box a few times, but at some point you’re going to get too tired. You can’t keep doing, you’re going to injure yourself even. And then you can’t do anything. Versus if you started stepping up into the smaller box and then you got a little stronger, you could step up into the second box and then maybe even from there, you could cheat and step up in the second box and then go to the third from the second box. But these are a little hacks so that you’re ingraining these patterns.

(09:28):
You’re really building who and what you are. Because we have to recognize too that we see more of that pushback, that pain pushback, the more we push that comfort zone. So the more we can ease in, let it slowly expand, the better off we’re going to be. So just remember that the more you go all in, the more you push back against those changes you’re going to get. So the less you do, if you’re just doing a small habit change, a 1% improvement, the less pushback against that you’re going to get. And ultimately the easier it will be to continue to do that. And then off of that one, when that becomes normal, think about all the other little things you can add. And again, the more you do, the more you do. And all of a sudden these things feel a lot more sustainable.

(10:04):
You feel really excited by the changes. And so you feel like you’re choosing to do more over feeling like you’re restricted or deprive or having to do something, something you should do. So just remember that those small changes add up a lot more, and that’s really how we see that identity evolve. That’s how we act as if, okay, so if my ultimate lifestyle is X, maybe I can’t do all that right now, but what’s the first turn from my current location towards that destination? Not what the last turn is, but what’s that first turn that can really help? Then tip number four, take full ownership. Ultimately, whether you succeed or fail, it’s up to you because no, you can’t control everything that happens in your life, but you can always control your perspective of it. Do you see it as obstacle or opportunity if you fail, if you hit a hang up, if something happens that you have to navigate around, you choose whether or not you navigate around it or you turn back.

(10:56):
That’s it. And the more we take ownership and almost place blame on ourself for everything that happens, the more agency and empowered we become, the more agency we get and the more empower we ultimately become. And this is so key to recognize because I think we think of fault and blame as negatives. Like, I’ve been bad, I’ve done something wrong. No, by saying, oh, this was a mistake. How can I correct it? We can learn from it. We are being more empowered because we’re giving ourselves an even recognizing our own strength. We’re giving ourselves confidence in our ability to conquer anything that comes our way. So the more you can take full ownership, that’s part of acting as if faking it till you make it. You’re kind of saying, oh, well, I’m pretending to be this other person, and if these things don’t work out, whatever, acting as if it’s being like I am going to be all that I want to be.

(11:40):
And that’s taking ownership of your journey. You have this one life to live. Give it your all. See what you can accomplish. Take on challenges. Recognize that growth and evolution are a good thing, because honestly, whether or not you know it, whether or not you’re choosing to, you are changing because every force in life, everything that’s happening is changing you. I mean, your skin is changing right now. Your age is changing, right? We see the signs of aging. You are changing. What we want to do is control the direction of that change as much as possible. And that comes from acting as if and embracing that we are constantly evolving our identity to help ourselves reach our goals. And that comes then back to the minimums We set, the daily actions that we do and celebrating those as wins to help us keep going. So I want to encourage you, how can you act as if who is the person you want to become that has the goals you want to have? And what are small changes based on where you are right now, not where you wish you would be, not where you want to be, but where you are right now that can help you start on that path towards being that person? Because the more you take those actions, the more you become that person, the more you see your strength, the more you see your confidence, the more you really rock those results.

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

by Cori Lefkowith | Aug 14, 2025 | podcast

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Change Requires CHANGE

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Change Requires CHANGE

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Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast. Everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey. Even the stuff you don’t want to hear, you feel awkward. Good awkwardness with a new habit or routine is a sign usually that we are making a change that we need to reach a new and better result because you can’t do what you’ve always done and expect to reach a new goal. Yet what is really comfortable is simply what we’ve always done and become used to. And we don’t recognize that when we’re young and we embrace that learning process. We don’t really think of the discomfort with things because everything to some extent is new. But at a certain point in our life, we’re doing a lot fewer new things, and so we get really comfortable with our habits and routines and some of them become so mindless we don’t even recognize we’re doing them.

(00:46):
And because of that, anything new introduced does feel really uncomfortable, a little bit awkward, and that strangeness to us makes us question if we’re doing it right. We also don’t embrace being bad at something and that learning process, which is often awkward, we can feel like a giraffe on roller skates and we push back against that versus when you’re always feeling like that, you don’t think about it so much. So that’s why as we get older, we start to see awkward as a bad thing, but if we don’t go through that learning process, we’re not going to make habit changes that we need because we do have to slightly evolve our lifestyle, evolve our identity if we want to reach a new and better result. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt awkward with things like even doing a new form of video, doing the podcast for the first time, all of these things I had to learn how to do, and I felt really awkward and bad doing even sometimes now I feel awkward or bad with a new way of presenting something, and it’s something I have to embrace if I want to get better at it.

(01:39):
So I wanted to discuss how we can embrace that awkwardness and see it as a good thing to truly make the changes that we need. And I wanted to share this quote because I think it’s a great way to frame it in your mind. We crave comfort, but comfort never created confidence. Part of what builds our strength, builds our confidence, builds our ability to overcome, is pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone, ak, embracing that awkwardness. So if we want to reach a new goal, we have to realize that that is building strength, that is building our ability to embrace discomfort. We also get more comfortable being uncomfortable in more ways the more we put ourselves out there because we say, Hey, I’ve done hard things in the past. I can do this again. So talking about tips and especially five tips to help you embrace that awkward own it, see it as a good thing one, and the first thing is really to just say good with it, right?

(02:29):
I’m feeling awkward. Own it. Embrace the suck. Say, Hey, yes, this is a good thing. This means I’m actually making a change because if this felt comfortable, I’d have to question, am I doing too much of the same thing and falling back into the same pattern that I’ve always fallen back into, which has not yielded the goals that I want? So first just say yes, this is going to be awkward. When you’re looking at a change that you have to make are the habits and routines. Look at them and say, Hey, what will feel awkward with this? What is there going to be a learning process? Might I fail? And the more you own that, and you embrace that and you see it as a good thing, Hey, I am going to stumble with this. Good. It means you’re doing something new and you’re going to move forward towards your goals.

(03:09):
Then with that, realize that if there’s something that feels too awkward that you’re feeling too much pushback, pick just a small aspect of it to start with. So tracking, for example, if you are like, I’ve failed with tracking every other time. I know it’s awkward, I know it’s also something I need to do. Say, why have I failed with it? What’s one part of it that I can do that still feels a little awkward, still is pushing my comfort zone, but not so awkward. I instantly have walls come up and I turn back in one more run for the hills, right? So pick one thing. You don’t have to conquer all components of something right away. And where we see that awkward become a bad thing is when we’re trying to push too much into too many different things and we just feel overwhelmed with the changes.

(03:50):
So recognize feeling awkward is different than feeling overwhelmed with things that are different and outside our comfort zone and so far away from where we are now. It’s like you want to think about it as a journey towards your destination. Ride. A road trip, you might be pushing towards a turn that’s like six turns away and you can’t make that turn yet, but you can make the one right in front of you that leads towards it. So you want to think about how you can break down all those different steps into manageable pieces. So own the awkward first, but then also recognize, hey, am I trying to do an awkward that’s not the next step? And break things down because you don’t have to do everything at once, and that can make you have less of a barrier or wall come up against the strange that you’re about to encounter against the challenge or discomfort that you’re about to embrace.

(04:35):
Then number three, understand why you’re doing it. We prioritize what we value, end of story, and if we don’t own our priorities, they become our excuses. So if you’re thinking about making a change and you’re saying, I know I should track, but is it really worth it? Is it really good for me? Will it really help? You are not going to want to push through the hard to do that thing, but if you’re like, okay, tracking what gets measured gets managed, I have this accurate picture of what I’m eating. Oh my goodness, I could actually make smaller changes. I might not have to cut out foods I love because I could work this food in to hit my macros and still have my portions, or hey, I can actually adjust my portion sizes or not have to just only eat off this one approved food list.

(05:13):
If you can sell yourself on all the benefits of the awkward, uncomfortable habit, you are going to find a lot more value in doing it. And when the pain of staying stuck outweighs the pain of change, we embrace the change. When the pain of change outweighs the pain of staying stuck, we don’t move. And so we can’t always change the pain of staying stuck unless we gain more weight or put ourselves in a worse situation getting more injured, which we generally don’t want to do. But we can change the pain of change, which means we can break those habits down, as I already mentioned, but we can also really value them to feel like they’re more worthwhile to do because we see how much they’re going to move forward towards our goals. So break them down to find where the value seems worth it, right?

(05:54):
The effort seems worth the outcome that you’re going to get from it, but understand why you’re doing it, and if you find yourself pushing back against something really, really hard like a change, like increasing your protein, if you’re finding all the reasons why not to do it, recognize it’s probably the change that you need to make. It just feels awkward for some way, and you need to go research all the benefits to truly understand why you should value it and why you should prioritize it, and then find different ways to prioritize it. By putting things first in your day that might fall by the wayside because they feel awkward, uncomfortable, you’ll find any excuse not to do them. So find different ways to create that priority for something you don’t yet even fully value. Even if you logically value it, it’s not part of your habit or routine.

(06:33):
Then from there, set tiny goals to get fast feedback because when we’re moving forward towards our ultimate goal on losing weight on the scale, we are not going to see progress every week no matter how good or perfect we are with the habits, our body doesn’t respond that way. Progress isn’t linear and nothing works perfectly all of the time, despite our best intentions. We’re not perfect with everything, but we need to find ways to see all the clues that success is really leaving us. So that means setting small goals first. So if breaking down your weight loss journey into small, manageable pieces where you’re tracking micro progress towards your goal, instead of expecting 10 pounds overnight, but not only small mini goals within that main goal of losing one pound every few weeks, but also complimentary goals, what other ways are you seeing that your habits are paying off?

(07:19):
Is your performance in the gym improving? Are you able to do another rep with a heavier weight or even just another rep with the same weight? Does your form feel stronger? Are you feeling less out of breath? Are you getting less sore and feeling really recovered? You’re fueling properly? Are your clothes fitting differently? Are people starting to notice? Is your energy better? Are you sleeping better? Is your skin clear? Start to notice all the different clues that success is really giving you and focus on really small ones because while they seem silly or does it even matter? Yes, it does. Even the fact that maybe you’re eating more fruits and vegetables, which will improve your health because you’re getting more micros could be a benefit of you tracking and making these changes and you don’t feel the payoff right away. But that small sign of success, that small change that you’re making will pay off.

(08:03):
But the more we really recognize all those different things and give ourselves ways to see that progress really fast, the more we’re going to embrace that discomfort and feel like it’s truly worth it. We’re going to own the awkward and feel like we’re moving forward towards our goals because of it and want to do more and be able to build on it. Then last but not least, I want you to reframe the struggle and stack the proof. So this goes back to having those many goals, right? The more you then say, Hey, not only saying yes, I lost a pound, but truly recognizing that, oh my goodness, I did this. This is how this paid off, and then relating it back to the habits that you did is super key, but stack the proof. Keep a running list of all the things you’ve accomplished because we get very microscopic in our view at times and very focused on the last couple of days that we’ve done or this one weigh in, and so we say, oh, I gained a pound this week.

(08:50):
Okay, well, you’ve lost 12 overall, even gaining this pound, right? We don’t reflect that. So stack the proof and put it in a place where you can really reflect on it all the time and then reframe any struggles you have. There are going to be struggles in that, but hey, this was learning because this is awkward and new, and in the learning process you have to make mistakes. You don’t get a hundred percent on every single test right from the get go. And if you did, you studied a lot, which is a lot of work, and again, reframing the struggle if you had to put in all that work to get that a hundred percent on the test. So it’s owning that any struggles along the way are that learning process and you improving and making things better, and that’s why the results are snowballing.

(09:26):
So keep that running list of all the success that you’ve seen from all those many goals that you hit in all the different ways and all the different clues that success is really leaving you. And then reframe any struggles to be like, Hey, this is how I accomplish these things by keeping going, okay, if I’m struggling right now, where can I maybe break this habit down? Right? Again, going back to the other tips, like picking one thing and then also making sure that you understand why you’re doing it. So if I’m struggling, okay, why am I doing this? Maybe my why is actually wrong now reflecting, Hey, I thought I needed to do this because of X, Y, and Z thing, but I’m actually including too much cardio maybe, and I need to back off, or I need to include cardio in a different way.

(10:04):
Let me go research why this could be beneficial. But the more we understand why, the more we can also then see when we struggle, why something might not be working in the way we originally intended to work. So just to recap, first, normalize the suck. Embrace that awkward is part of it, and you have to go through that learning process, and just as we get older, we’ve gotten more into our comfort zone and we push it less. But if you want to reach that new and better result, you’ve got to do something new, which means being a little awkward. Pick one or two things, break those things down. Make small little changes that really meet you where you’re at, and then understand why you’re doing those changes. Also, make sure that you set tiny goals and that you’re trying to get that fast feedback on how things are working to see all the clues that success is leaving you, and then reframe the struggle and stack the proof so that you can see when things are paying off or if you’re struggling, what you might need to change and embrace that as a good thing.

(10:54):
But I want you to just think that feeling awkward with something is actually a good thing. On that note, what’s the one awkward, hard, clunky thing that you are going to embrace this week that maybe you’ve been trying to avoid because it did feel so awkward? Reflect on that. It’s probably the habit change or routine change that you need to make the most to see the results that you deserve.

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

Emotional Eating: Navigating Social Events

by Cori Lefkowith | Aug 7, 2025 | podcast

Listen:

Change Requires CHANGE

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Change Requires CHANGE

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Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast. Everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. We can have our goals, but it can feel like every weekend we are constantly sabotaged by parties, by travel, by different things coming up, and it can feel like we’re good all week only to end up falling off. And instead of making this excuse that our weekend sabotage us, party sabotage us, we need to find a way to navigate these events. That’s why I’m super excited to be joined by Michelle, so we can talk about passing the love not the plate, and we can find ways to really reach our goals, but also navigate the big events. So Michelle, thank you so much for joining me today.

Michelle (00:44):
Thank you for having me.

Cori (00:45):
So let’s talk about this. It can be really hard when we have all these big events to find our balance because we don’t always want to be that person on a diet yet something has to change if we want to reach our goals. So how can we start to navigate food events and our goals?

Michelle (01:03):
I love that because I think right now we’re really in the season, and honestly it happens multiple times a year where you have that season where there’s reunions, there’s vacations. It’s that season where everyone kind of brings a dish season. And so lots of opportunities to fall off. And the number one thing is you have to go in with a plan. You have to set some boundaries for yourself and it can change per event. It can change for whatever’s going to really suit you. But if you don’t have those boundaries already in place, and you kind of have even practiced how some of your responses are going to be when you have someone that’s pushing a plate in front of you or trying to encourage you to consume something, we all have food pushers and oftentimes those food pushers are the people that we love. So if you don’t have a game plan set in place to even have a response for them, you’re probably going to fail. So this is something that’s going to take practice. It’s going to take, maybe go to one event and you had a game plan and maybe it doesn’t quite work. You’re going to reflect on it. You’re going to be more prepared for the next time. This isn’t a one and done. This is an adaptable approach, but you have to start with some type of a boundary for yourself.

Cori (02:18):
And I think that planning ahead is so key because it allows you to truly take ownership of also what you want. So often we think I have a goal, I can’t do this. And the mindsets and the language we use even to describe why we’re not indulging in something not only makes us want to indulge more potentially, but it holds us back from truly striking our balance or taking ownership of the choice that we’re making because as you mentioned, it will evolve. There might be a season where you say, Hey, I am not going to indulge in these different things at events because my goals are important. I need this consistency to create that change that I want to see as dramatically as I want to see it. And then at another time, you shift the focus and you do something different. But also the attitude of I’m the person on a diet I can’t have that mindset, doesn’t allow us to truly embrace the changes we actually want to make and we haven’t even planned to make. So as you’re taking ownership of what you want to do at the event, think about the language you’re really using to describe the habits you want because it’s very different to be like, oh, I’m choosing not to have this at this party because I want this balance. I’m going to work in these specific things versus, oh, I can’t have anything at this party. I need to be good. I have to be good. Right? It’s sort of that mindset too behind the actions that really adds up.

Michelle (03:30):
I love that because I really think there’s power and like you said in the mindset that you’re going about of even saying no, and maybe it’s really not a no, it’s just not now. It doesn’t mean not ever, just not now. So I think that’s something it keeps us from having this all or nothing attitude too, where if maybe you do indulge a little bit, it’s not like, oh, well I might as well go all the way because I’m off a little bit. So I do think that’s something that we need to really own is the language that we’re saying or even setting our boundaries within. So I love that you provided that.

Cori (04:07):
And we’re often so worried about what others will think of our behaviors when they only see a very small portion of our lifestyle and they aren’t going to judge us because they’re judging based on what they feel too. Their own struggles, their own successes. And so we have to take ownership of what we want to remember. Our journey will be unique. But even off of that, in assessing what you want to do, it’s not only that you might do something at a different point in your journey, but also going to different restaurants, there might be different importance. Different events might have different significance and different foods that you even enjoy. Where I can find, there’s times where I go out with family where I’m like, oh, this restaurant has healthy options. I don’t necessarily crave anything, so I’m going to do something that hits my macros.

(04:47):
Versus there might be another restaurant where I’m like, if I don’t get to have X, I will feel like I missed out, so I’m going to enjoy X. So there’s so many different ways to plan. And then even as you said, just because you do something potentially even that you didn’t plan doesn’t mean that you ruin the day. You could have gone higher protein, lower calorie early in the day to have that buffer just in case you could do something to get right back on track. Just because you get a flat tire doesn’t mean you pull over to the side of the road, right, and you slash the other three and light the car in fire and then walk away. You do what you can to move forward and learn from it. Even recognizing that that might help you strike a better balance next time.

Michelle (05:22):
Exactly. And honestly, when it comes to setting these boundaries, I think we talked about how language is important, that a boundary isn’t a forever rule. It’s really just something to provide you clarity and confidence. It usually actually reduces anxiety around these events because you’re going in with a game plan, you already have that structure put into place, you know what you may say or how you’re going to potentially turn down certain things or indulge in other things because you value it higher. So the more that you can even allow yourself that space to actually enjoy the event, by pre-planning what those boundaries are, you’re going to find that you’re going to just be able to sit better with the terms that you have provided versus feeling being at the place or being at the event or being at the family reunion and feeling the stress. This is often what I hear the most about is I hear anxiety, the stress, and if you can go in with that clarity, that confidence in your game plan, we can reduce that stress that you’re going to fill it around these events.

Cori (06:28):
And by going in with that game plan, I think there’s a few different things you’re doing. You are questioning the I deserve, right? Because we’ll say, well, I deserve to get to relax on this day. Okay, well you also deserve your goals. And sometimes to get what we deserve means also doing something that we don’t always want to do. So we have to question the language of deserve. We also have to think about worthwhile because I think a lot of times we don’t recognize, Hey, I’ve just always done this. This is a routine, this is a pattern, but is this really worth it to me? Am I actually enjoying this as much as I think I am or is it just a pattern I’ve created? And I’m kind of struggling to question that pattern because again, going back to even the example of the restaurant, there’s certain things that I realized I was just doing because oh, I go out to eat, I just get what I want versus, oh, is this really worthwhile?

(07:12):
Or would I actually enjoy the healthier thing, the more macro friendly thing, just as much, and then also feel really good because it was worthwhile for my goals. So it’s balancing all of those different things and then also recognizing who we’re doing it for because I think a lot of times we don’t recognize that we’re doing it for the other people there and their perception of us not taking ownership of the goals that we actually want to pursue. And they don’t have to live the other days in our life. They don’t have to have the struggles, the frustrations that we have. They’re only seeing this one component and they’re judging no matter what to some extent. So it’s about being true to what you want and then not even apologizing for it. Because I think a lot of times we feel the need to defend and when we defend, we end up making ourself question our own actions a little bit more.

Michelle (08:01):
Yeah, I love this because this isn’t a place where you should feel like you have to defend anything. I mean, at the end of the day, you make your choices and everyone else makes their choices or their judgments on their own behalf. And the thing is, oftentimes in the moment you may feel questioned, but oftentimes one thing that I’ve discussed with clients in the past too is when they get to their goal, how often do people do those same people that maybe were questioning or maybe you felt that you were defensive to is saying, Hey, what have you been doing? How have you gotten here? So I think that’s also something to kind of keep in mind is those same people that you may feel like you have to defend are probably going to be the same people that later down the road ask, Hey, what have you been doing? We

Cori (08:46):
Want the hard thing to achieve. And then we slightly balk at the fact that there are hard things we have to do to get there. But if you think about any great, I know you might be like, well, I’m just on a weight loss journey, but any great movie with a hero that succeeds, an athlete that succeeds, someone who accomplishes great things, there were always naysayers, people that said they were obsessive, people that doubted their actions and then wanted to repeat those same things once they saw that success as you brought up. So it is really staying true to what you want, but then recognizing that when you feel the need to defend, you’re also putting doubt in your own mind, which then makes it harder to replicate the habits that you really want, which goes back to your whole thing of you got to go in with the game plan, you got to think through all these sort of plan A, B, C, D, E, F, G, all the different mindsets that might even come up with that. Even what game plans you’ve tried in the past that you’re trying to force again in a different mold that didn’t work out and why they didn’t work out. Because it might be that the actions actually didn’t work or that the mindsets weren’t there behind them.

Michelle (09:48):
Yes, and I think, so there’s a few things to even go about establishing those boundaries, like things that you want to consider when you’re going through, whether it’s deciding what is your goal going to be? Is this going to be a day that you just don’t track? Is this going to be a day that you are going to as you put, Hey, I can actually easily hit all my macros this day and just make some tweaks along the day to do that. Is it going to be you have a calorie goal and a protein goal and that’s going to be what you focus on? Are you going to pre-plan and maybe eat a little bit more protein, a little lower carb because you plan to maybe have more carbs at the event? There’s lots of ways that you can go about doing this that is hopefully going to feel right for you.

(10:30):
And again, it can change. Are we going to limit alcohol? Are you going to to just have one drink? Are you just going to avoid the alcohol at the event? Those are all the things that you want to consider and it’s going to change from event to event, but also it’s going to help you find your balance of what’s really going to be worth it to you. And the number one thing is your goal is what you value. Not everyone’s going to see it the same way, and that’s okay. Not all of us are going to value our goals the exact same. And so yeah, you are going to be a little bit different and that’s okay, but oftentimes there’s other things that we can go about to also deflect some of the attention in these scenarios, and we’ll even cover that in a little bit as well. Well, I want to go right into

Cori (11:11):
That because I think deflecting is a very important thing to think about how you’re going to say no to something because we so often think, oh, I’ll just say no. And sometimes you know what? Just being like, no, I’m good is the right way because in any defense, any like, oh no, I’m good, I ate more earlier. That then makes us question our own decision or makes it more awkward or gives them almost room to question us because we’re introducing doubt. So sometimes yes, just saying no is good, but there’s also a lot of ways to just strike your balance and not have anybody notice. There’s been lots of times like, oh, I’ll grab some in a bit. I’m busy right now. I want to go over and talk to X person. Or before I do that, tell me this story. There’s lots of ways to change the subject, keep connection, keep the other elements that you really want there. So let’s talk a little bit about ways to navigate saying no that aren’t just direct, like, oh, no, I feel awkward. I’m saying no.

Michelle (12:05):
Yes. And I’ll be honest, I’m the queen of the deflection because I’m a major people pleaser. I have a hard time just flat out saying like, Nope, nope, I’m good. And I think one of the number one things when we are going to these events, when we’re seeing those people, and I lovingly call them food pushers, the ones that are always going to make sure you have something in your hand to eat and wanting you to try everything. And one thing that I think is important that we all understand is these people, we tend to be like, oh, they stress me out.

(12:35):
They’re not taking what I value or my goals seriously. But what is important I think for everyone to remember is oftentimes these people are the ones that love you. They’re not really trying. Their goal isn’t truly to derail you. They’re trying to love on you. My grandma was probably the queen food pusher of all times. I don’t think I ever went to her house where I didn’t have a cookie or a pie or a candy that was stuffed in my pocket or put in front of me. And when I left, you better believe she was giving me those leftovers to send home too. So you have to understand, for many people, food is a love language. So when someone pushes food, it’s not that they’re really wanting you to eat, it’s really that they’re looking for that connection. They’re trying to provide comfort, they’re trying to contribute to you in some way, and food is an easy way to do that.

(13:25):
So when you say no, it can sometimes for this person, and I’m not saying this to make anyone feel guilty, but it can feel like you were rejecting them. So even if you’re not, there’s better ways that we can actually deflect or kind of make those connections without saying yes. Because again, if you’re saying no, you’re saying yes to something. And so when we are looking at those deflections, we want to really focus on the connection because in most cases that’s what their goal is, and you can do that without food. So some easy ways to say no or kind of pass it on. So if you’re wanting to say no, is being like, oh no, I’m not going to eat right now because I want to make sure I’m helping you out. Especially hostesses, they’re the queens of this. They want to make sure everyone’s being fed, being happy, but if you can step in and be like, oh, let me help you, you’re going to do two things.

(14:19):
One, you’re getting that connection with them. This is often the time where’re like, oh, you’ve worked really hard. Let me help you out in this scenario. And you are keeping yourself busy. They may see you with food because you’re helping, you may become the food pusher and may be like, Hey, what can I get for you guys? Or Let me go grab that for you or let me go set the table. The big thing at these events is keeping your hands full with something, whether it is a glass of water, whether it is you’re helping carry things from place to place, but if you can provide that, that’s going to be useful. Or it can just be like, Hey, talk to me about this recipe. Is this a family recipe? Where did you get that? Talk to me about what you did to put this on.

(15:01):
And if you can even get them to tell the story behind the food, that’s another way that we can create that connection that doesn’t actually involve you eating. Other things are just offering, or like you said, like, oh yeah, I’m really full right now, but let me see if I can have a little bit space later. Or I would love to maybe take that I’m so full right now, I want to enjoy it. So could I pack that up and take it later? And maybe that’s something that you enjoy when it fits better into your macros. And I’ll tell you, I don’t know many people that aren’t going to be pleased to be like, oh my gosh, they took the leftover, they were so excited about this. They took some of the leftover with them. So it’s another way to compliment, and even though you may not necessarily be consuming it in front of them,

Cori (15:46):
And even if you do have to or want to say no because it’s just not right for you, right, then you can still make that connection of like, oh gosh, I knew I was coming here tonight and your thing is the best, but I have to say no, I’m doing this one program and I really want to see it through. And a lot of times even that boosts to their ego that your recognition of what you want, you feel proud of owning your goals. And they also might even be like, oh, that’s really cool that you’re doing this, but there’s no questioning then. And I think that’s the important part of it’s being firm in what you want, but setting your boundaries in a way that you can still have that connection with them. You can still enjoy the party and you don’t feel like it’s the stress of you and them kind of butting heads with different things because there are times that you do just have to say no.

(16:31):
But I think taking ownership of that is really key and you are, as you said, then speaking their love language and that you’re recognizing that their thing is so good. And also sometimes you don’t say no. I think that’s an important thing to recognize that not every time when you go to an event will you say, no, you might love that pie that your aunt makes or whatever else, and you know what you work it in. Maybe your macros aren’t perfect, you go to a calorie cap, a protein minimum. Maybe you just say, Hey, I’m being overall moderate. I know this day is going to be a little off, but it could be way worse. So I’m going to create this balance with this calorie cap, this boundary for myself. And then you say yes to having that. Because maybe for you saying no, just in general, even if you’re trying to help do these other things, at the end of the day, they’re going to hand you one or it’s just going to be too much mental friction and that will cause you more pain, more discomfort than just saying yes and even having a bite or two because that’s always an option too when we get the food pushed, having the bite or two we want to work in to create that balance.

(17:28):
But sometimes you plan it in sometimes saying no can mean saying yes to the thing, you’re being pushed because that fits your balance and that actually makes you feel better overall. But it’s owning what we want and figuring out what’s the best way to handle it, not just trying to force a mold, but that lifestyle balance. I do think part of going into some of these things is that we always feel like that person on a diet restricted, and again, it’s a mindset, but it goes back to how we’ve tried to handle things potentially even in the past.

Michelle (17:58):
And I think this is so key because so often everyone kind of puts their diet on a pedestal where it’s like, the only way I can be on this diet or be working towards my goal is if I’m here and I’m perfect all the time. So that includes this day, but they’re not looking for, they have times where I was like, I’ve heard this so often. Well, I was so good, I was doing so perfect. I really don’t care about the perfect times. When I’m looking at your food, I’m actually more looking at the times where you’re like, oh, I fell off. Alright, well let’s compare it to the last time you fell off. Did we go as bad because that’s going to be the thing that actually changes the most. Yes, hopefully we can extend those periods of time where you’re hitting your goal and more consistent.

(18:41):
And of course that’s always going to be the thing, but if we can also look at those times that really lead you to these long-term fallouts, which for most people it is these type of events, these holidays where it takes them a long time to get back on track after. If we can reduce the amount of time that you’re off track or if we can be like, Hey, yeah, you maybe didn’t hit your macros perfectly, but remember last year what happened last year? How long did it take you to get back on track? Or you went in this huge calorie binge during this time, but this year you ate moderately. That’s a win and that’s going to be where true change actually happens, and that’s going to be really what pushes that will and kind of pushes you further along and closer to your journey than anything else. So it’s not always about having those perfect days or those perfect moments, it’s truly about getting that consistency and keeping the moderation. So even when you have that off date, it’s not nearly as bad as what it used to be. I think that’s

Cori (19:44):
So key. And also not to throw a wrench in the perfect plans, but what is perfect, I think the more I started to brace that there’s always room for improvement. So technically you’re never perfect. Anyway, it took a little bit of pressure off of it and I also started to realize that by trying to force the 21 day perfect plan, the six week perfect plan A, I wasn’t owning the reality of my lifestyle, which is why I kept going on a diet over actually adjusting my diet. But I realized that over the course of the year, if I were to break down the 365 days, I actually did a lot more bad things by trying to be so good, so perfect on specific days. And so once I started to strike that balance, I started to realize that overall my lows got a lot less low and the days I was eating the way I should be eating or healthier, that actually promoted optimal health got a lot better because I didn’t feel so restricted, so I didn’t swing so much the other way.

(20:35):
So I think we have to realize that the more we demonize something, we label food as bad events or habits as bad over just saying, Hey, how can I make them better? How can I make them fit my goals more? How can I make them make me feel better? The more we start to embrace that balance. You know what, when I tried to restrict dessert, I ended up eating a whole heck of a lot more sweets and sugar and all that other stuff. Then when I was like, I like dessert and then I ended up making my desserts better, it became more negotiable on times where I went out. So you’ll be surprised by how letting go of perfect and saying, Hey, I am being perfect, even if it helps you to think you have to be perfect for yourself. I’m being perfect by owning that I’m going to have this piece of pie and that I want it and is part of my balance. I’m being perfect in creating that lifestyle balance. So also shifting potentially what perfect means. If the other viewpoint of you’ll never be perfect, it doesn’t help you, right?

Michelle (21:29):
Yeah, I love that because I think one thing that I think people kind of don’t think about oftentimes is when they’re looking at these events and the things that they’re saying no to, is the effects that that’s going to have? I mean, we talked about, okay, if you say no to that dessert, all of a sudden your food noise gets a lot higher and you may be all of a sudden finding yourself, well, I said no to that dessert I really wanted, but then your food noise gets so high that you start binging on sugar just because it’s sugar and it’s around. But you said no to that one thing, so you stepped to that plan, but your plan may have been better had you been like, Hey, that is worth it to me. I know I’m going to keep my food noise. I’m going to be in more control if I enjoy that and can move on versus I said no, and now I cannot quiet the food noise.

(22:16):
And so I see that often where people will maybe say like, oh, I can’t have this. I have to say no to that, and then they say no, but then later that food noise just gets louder and louder and louder and they eventually kind of end up binging on something else that maybe they wouldn’t have enjoyed as much. And so because it’s not the thing that they’re actually thinking about, they’re not as fully satisfied. So that is also something to consider when you are creating these boundaries, when you are considering what is worth it to you is really reflect on the past when you have tried to say no or try to avoid certain things. What was that food noise like for you after? Can you strike a balance? Is it going to be a better if you actually plan in that dessert, the dessert that you’re looking forward to keep the food noise at bay?

Cori (23:04):
I think it’s also remembering that perfect is generally a highlight reel that we’re really looking back at, and it’s usually a very specific moment or short timeframe. So when we zoom out and we look at everything else, we realized not so perfect in trying to be perfect, and I bring that up because I do think you think about a vacation or whatever else, we go to that one perfect moment in life and we don’t think about, oh, well, I actually was fighting with my spouse beforehand. Then we came back and our house was flooded. We slightly ignore when we look at the highlight reel, all the other imperfect moments and don’t realize that by finding a balance and embracing them, and obviously with life, we want to look back at the good scrapbook moments, but with our diet, we want to fall victim to the highlight reel.

(23:47):
Oh, well this worked at x time. Okay, but it worked for 21 days. It worked for one month. There are 12 months in the year. There are 365 days in the year. We don’t want to get that snapshot and only focus on that highlight reel on that perfect moment. We need to often realize that when we’re saying I have been so perfect that we’re really hyper-focused and zoomed in on only a little bit of time in the grand scheme of things. And so, okay, yes, we’re perfect for this, but how can we be perfect for other seasons, other stages, other needs, other lifestyle balances to find a more perfect

Michelle (24:22):
Balance over the year? I love that. And I know we all know this, but I’m just going to say it because I think the more we say it, the more realistic it’s is. You are also comparing yourself to everyone else’s highlight reel. And it’s not. It’s human nature. We like to present our best. When you get online, you’re going to see people’s best highlights from those things. But this is why you also can’t compare. You may go to an event and maybe you have set your boundaries and someone else has a different boundary. Maybe there is a little bit, I don’t want to say strict, but maybe they have a little bit more boundaries aligned for that day than you do. That doesn’t make your boundaries any less. You have to stick to your own journey. So this isn’t a time that you’re trying to be just like anyone else because the one thing that is going to affect this more than anything truly is the mindset. We always say the body follows where the mind leads. So maybe you and the other person has very similar goals, but trying to compare your journey to them, it’s impossible because you have no idea what your mindset is compared to their mindset, what they’re valuing things differently than what you’re valuing. So just stick to making your own boundaries and not comparing to anyone else’s that is also at that event as well.

Cori (25:44):
Couldn’t agree more because you don’t know what deficit they’ve created, what workouts they’re doing, all the other aspects of their lifestyle to make them want to enact those habits. Then and again, even the mindsets, right? For one, having the thing at the party might create that reduced food noise, that balance, it might be worth it to them. Well, the other person’s like dessert. I don’t freaking care about dessert. Give me all the salty snacks, but there’s no salty snack, so I don’t care. Right? It’s finding your balance. And in that three to five takeaways for somebody who’s really like, okay, I need to assess. I want to find my balance because I know through the summer into the holiday season, I am going to be navigating these times and my goals are very important to me, but I need to find a balance, three to five

Michelle (26:27):
Big tips, takeaways for them. So the number one thing is actually sitting down and thinking of the things that you value and what you find worth it. And I’m talking think of the events. You’re going to think about the holiday time. What are those foods that you really are willing to spend some of that your calories on that is going to make you feel satisfied, make you feel like you’re truly part of the event as well? Consider what is going to be the best thing for you long-term when it comes to food noise. Ask yourself those questions. Think again. Consider past events when you have said no to things, what has that led to later? Maybe not that day, maybe that next day or maybe that weekend. Really making sure that you’re never using any event as an excuse. I’ve heard this so many times when it comes to boundary settings where it was like, oh, well, I wasn’t feeling well and then I felt stressed, and then it corresponded with this, well, I’m going to tell you I don’t know anyone that doesn’t have some stress around a holiday, some stress around a vacation traveling alone is going to cause stress.

(27:37):
So don’t use that as an excuse as to, so everything just went off. No. Take the time actually sit down and think of those boundaries, and I’m going to push it even further. Don’t just think, write it down and actually practice what you’re going to say. I’m sure as we’ve talked about this, everyone has thought of a relative or a friend or someone that’s pushing that drink, pushing that food, think about them and the best way to say no, whether it is just flat out no, or whether it is one of the responses of, okay, I’m going to redirect or reflect or connect with them in a different way. Consider the person in your life that that’s going to be your biggest thing that you need to address and truly sit down and come up with responses. You know, you know what that food item or drink or whatever is going to be that they tend to push on you. So truly be prepared, and as silly as it sounds, practice saying it. Practice Ashley taking the time to say it because the more you practice, the more you’re not going to feel on the spot and stumble. So that’s going to be my biggest advice when it comes to navigating these events is truly consider how you’ve done it in the past and what you would like to do for that particular event, and then practice how you’re actually going to say things. And I want

Cori (29:02):
To end on a slightly hard perspective slash not as positive a note to think about, but I think something that’s super key. If every day is legendary, no day is legendary. And also we value what we’ve fought for. Days become special because they actually are those unique special days. And a lot of times we say, oh, I can’t see results because there’s all these parties. Well, are all those parties really meant to be legendary? If you’re really giving into what you’ve always done at those points, what didn’t get you the results that you want? Are you really valuing what you’ve already fought for or would even saying no at? Some of things make you feel better about your goals, about yourself, about your vision, and even about the days then that you do feel are worth it to indulge. So it’s also really questioning yourself of like, am I just repeating a routine and habit that is easy or am I truly valuing special events and shifting that perspective? Because again, it’s really easy to just say, oh, it’s party, it’s this. But if every day is legendary, no day is actually special and legendary. So just remember that. Wanted to share that one perspective shift. Michelle, any closing thoughts?

Michelle (30:15):
No, I actually, I don’t want to even mess with that. I liked that saying that you just shared, so I’m going to keep it with every day’s legendary, no days, legendary.

Cori:

Well, on that note, have a fabulous rest of your week.

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

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