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Tips For Healthy Eating (And How To Be More Mindful)

Tips For Healthy Eating (And How To Be More Mindful)

by | Apr 10, 2025 | podcast

Listen:

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast, everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. Let’s talk about being more mindful. When we munch, it can be very easy to eat for a whole host of reasons and not be conscious of the calories we’re consuming and the impact they’re having and what this is really doing to our body. So I’m super excited to be joined by amazing registered dietician, Julia, to talk about being more mindful when we munch. Julia, welcome. I’d love to hear your thoughts on mindful munching.

Julia (00:38):
Thank you. I’m happy to be here. As we know, eating mindfully really helps us bring that intention to the food that we’re choosing and eating, like you said. So the ultimate goal with mindful munching is really to cultivate a healthy relationship with food, to improve our digestion and really learn how to eat in a balanced way that allows us to hit our goals.

Cori (01:00):
So as you know, and I know you are too, we’re big advocates of macro tracking, and I don’t see being more mindful as the opposite of macro tracking. And I do want to get into intuitive eating and how that plays a role and what that really is, but how can being more mindful go with macro tracking to help you really reach your goals?

Julia (01:23):
Yeah, definitely. So the first thing is it really allows us to be intentional, like you were saying. So when we don’t take the time to think about why we’re eating, we can allow those temporary emotions to take over, whether this be stress, boredom, social pressures, or even just aimlessly eating whatever is in front of us because we’re hungry in the moment. So that tracking really helps us bring that intentionality back to the choices that we are making. And then the next issue that we kind of find is that a lot of times when we’re rushed, food can enter our stomach before it’s even ready. So with tracking and being intentional, we’re able to really also kind of dial in on that digestion process where we’re able to better break down our food, chew it properly, improve our digestion, and give our natural satiety signals a chance to really kick in, which also prevents overeating. So through that mindfulness, we’re able to stimulate the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, often referred to as that rest and digest. So not only is this going to help boost our gut health or digestion, but it’s also really key for those of us looking for weight loss and body recomposition through macro tracking as well.

Cori (02:32):
It’s such an interesting thing because we think what feels natural or our hunger cues are just, well, they’re there, right? It’s our body telling us something, but we don’t realize how much of what’s natural, what our body is. Singly is something that we’ve trained even through previous dieting practices, and so that can make it hard to eat intuitively when we have a specific goal. Can you go over what intuitive eating really is and how being mindful is slightly different from it and how all this works together?

Julia (03:04):
Yeah, so intuitive eating is a way that you’re eating to honor your cravings, your hunger and fullness cues. But the goal being to foster a healthier relationship with food in theory, it is a wonderful concept that we as humans should be able to have the ability to choose what our bodies are needing day-to-day. However, like you brought up, for those of us who have a history of undereating emotional eating or eating a poor quality diet, because our food system is saturated with highly palatable addictive foods, our intuition is probably not going to be the most accurate reflection of what our body actually needs because our current cravings are heavily influenced by how we currently eat, like you said. So you look at someone who has a history of extreme dieting, they probably don’t have the proper hunger cues telling them when they need to eat because their metabolism is downregulated and adapted to that low intake.

(04:00):
You look at someone who craves sugar constantly throughout the day, that could be the result of dysregulated blood sugar from undereating on certain foods like protein, fat, and fiber. And I also just really quickly want to highlight a study that was done, I believe in 2023. It was pretty recent, and it actually showed that as humans, if our protein needs are unmet, we’ll continue to overeat predominantly on carbohydrate and fat rich foods leading to weight gain in an efforts to meet that goal and get that satiety. So while intuitive eating is a great long-term goal for most of us, it’s often not the first step that we need to take to get there.

Cori (04:39):
It’s all about learning what portions we need. And I bring this up too because I think a lot of times we’ll start tracking macros and we’ll get frustrated that we’re not hitting the ratios, but it comes back to, well, if you were hitting the numbers you needed, you’d be at the goal you wanted to be at, but you’re not. So you have to relearn to look at those portions. And in this process of relearning those portions and even tracking things to start, you are learning to eat more mindfully. You’re learning to eat more intuitively because you are seeing what you’re actually consuming and then the impact that it’s truly having. And I think that’s something we don’t talk about enough, the benefit that tracking can truly have to make us more mindful.

Julia (05:23):
Yeah, I definitely agree. I mean, tracking serves as that data to show us what is and what isn’t working for our bodies. So it allows us to go in and separate our actual reality from our own perception of our reality, which is really key because sometimes we can feel like we’re doing great, we can feel like we’re eating the right portions, like you said, we can feel like we may be eating a lot of protein, but it may not always be the case. So tracking is kind of that gateway that allows us to better understand what our bodies need in order to thrive. And over time, as we’re able to shift our palate and really reap the long-term benefits of supporting our metabolism, we’ll find that we’ll be in a much better place to implement these intuitive eating practices. But we need to first put that work in, do that tracking, get that data in order to better educate ourselves and really rewire our metabolisms.

Cori (06:14):
You use the word feel a lot in that, and I think it’s very important that we come back to this word because feelings are not data yet with being more mindful. We have to try and trust in our feelings more, but we have to build more accurate feelings, we’ll say, or mindsets through tracking. But if we’re just allowing how we feel to dictate what we do, think about a fun event. When you’re celebrating excited and it’s fun and the food tastes good, you’re going to be willing to or want to eat more. When you’re stressed after a long day and you’re looking for that comfort and a food gives you comfort, you’re going to go to that food. I know simply when I want more of an ice cream or the peanut butter or whatever else it is, I feel like a portion should be bigger than it is and the portion becomes bigger than it is. Feelings aren’t data, but they can really impact how we ultimately fuel. How can we start to separate out what is a feeling and driving us towards not the correct portions and what’s truly data-driven decisions?

Julia (07:20):
The first step is really just understanding and bringing awareness to it, like you said, right? So a lot of people think that we do these compulsive behaviors like emotional eating because we just lack the willpower on food. Like, oh, I just don’t have the self-control. When in reality we often do it because it’s the only way that we know to either self-soothe or to give ourselves that boost of happiness or whatever. It’s that we’re really seeking from that food. So most of us have heard as dopamine as it’s an important part of our brain’s reward pathway and it causes us to feel good, right? It’s a very pleasurable thing to have. So we also know that foods can give us this dopamine boost really highly palatable foods. So sugary foods, high fat foods. So what makes sense from a scientific standpoint that we are going to reach for these foods, whether it be that ice cream or that glass of wine to make us feel better in these moments because scientifically it’s boosting that dopamine and making us feel better.

(08:19):
But the key takeaway here, and the big point of bringing that awareness to it is that we have to understand that it’s often not the food we’re seeking, it’s the feeling that the food gives us. So the issue is that we’re not really solving the problem at the root. We’re just coping in an unhealthy manner that can contribute to waking and health issues over time. And when this happens continuously, we’re wiring our brain to immediately turn to food when we feel stressed, scared, or even happy. So this is where I always call it the power of the pause that can come in and just allow ourselves to ask those appropriate questions. Am I actually hungry? Am I hoping to relieve feelings of stress, of sadness? Is this food going to satiate me? Am I just eating because I’m at a party and every single person around me is eating?

(09:04):
But ultimately bringing that awareness to it, taking that pause can help us recognize that it’s not really the food that we need, and over time we can begin to replace it with healthier habits. And this is why again, tracking things before eating them can be so helpful because it forces you to take that pause. Not only does it help you be more proactive with our goals as we know, but it really allows you to take a step back outside of the situation, detach from those emotions, and really just pause and think about how we are going to eat and how that lines up with our goals.

Cori (09:39):
It’s that reflection that’s so powerful to give us choice in what we do. And this isn’t to demonize any foods because you are going to want to just enjoy a food that you love, that you grew up with that has memories attached. You’re going to potentially want to sit down to a Thanksgiving meal or have those Christmas cookies, and there’s nothing wrong with these things. I know I am not giving up my summer margaritas and chips and guacamole, especially when the reed avocados are ripe, and it’s not a bad thing to have feelings associated with food, but it’s being mindful then of the choices you’re making when you do consume these things and the impact they’re having on your results. Because when we’re mindful in that way, we don’t create guilt too, which only creates more of a spiral with some of these things. However, pausing is easier said than done. And I love that you bring up tracking beforehand because that allows you to assess what you really need. But let’s just say something comes up and you do eat out of emotion. How can you then use the power of the pause to learn from that?

Julia (10:39):
Yeah, that’s a great question. And that’s where again, we always say tracking services that data to have. So even I have all my clients track your off days, track those moments that aren’t so perfect because that’s data that allows us to then peel back those layers, go back and see what could have led to this, what could have caused this. But again, kind of just that power of the pause in the moment, even if you’re out at a restaurant with people socially, it allows you to come back to things and check in with yourself and check in with what you actually need and want in that moment. And like you said, sometimes you are going to want to go for the cheesecake or the ice cream or whatever it is, and you are going to want to enjoy it. And I think that’s totally okay to even allow yourself to acknowledge like, yes, I want to go for this.

(11:21):
And even if you’re going to try to work it in with your goals, whatever that looks like. But again, just making sure that we’re taking that pause and if it’s going to be something that we’re going to go for, we’re going to enjoy it, savor it, enjoy the experience with the people that we’re around versus feeling that guilt around it. And if it is something that we’re like, I’m not really going to enjoy this. I’m extremely stressed right now, I’m uncomfortable. This is not what’s going to serve me in this moment, then that’s okay too. And that’s again where the power of the pause allows you to det from.

Cori (11:53):
It’s realizing that being more mindful of what you’re consuming is also understanding why you’re consuming it. And on the flip side, while I’m actually guilty of both, while overeating with stress, sometimes we can even undereat with stress and we’re not mindful that we’re eating too little and that’s impacting our results. How do you navigate if you are undereating due to stress? Because we talk a lot about overeating with it, but undereating can also be an issue.

Julia (12:20):
Yeah, definitely. And it’s kind of that idea of that fight or flight response which you can get, which causes us to overeat can also cause us to undereat like you’re saying. And sometimes people feel like they can’t really switch gears from experiencing that stress that they are experiencing firsthand. So even just again, practicing mindfulness by meeting ourselves where we’re at, remembering that food is still fuel, and this could mean even just adjusting your plan for the time being. Maybe you’re going to rely more on things like small calorie dense snacks, things like protein bars and shakes, things like yogurt bowls where you can add a lot of nuts and seeds and kind of bulk that up a little bit. Things like smoothies where you can add in yogurt, nut butters, or even using an eating schedule and setting reminders for yourself throughout the day, that can be huge. As silly as it sounds, just setting an alarm on your phone or scheduling it in your calendar when to eat, that can be huge just to remind you, Hey, I know I may not want to eat right now, but it’s important to fuel my body and still give myself as care in this moment. And just having that little reminder can go a really long way to helping you to still accomplish that goal and get in that fuel when you’re feeling a little bit stressed.

Cori (13:31):
It’s that accountability and outside perspective that we’re often missing because again, feelings aren’t data and what’s going on inside our head can often take us down a path that’s not correct if we let it. And so being more mindful is assessing where those feelings are coming from. With that being said, we can track ahead to help hold us accountable, whether we overeat or we even undereat, and especially if we’re undereating, we might think, well, this is even good for my weight loss goals, which is a whole other subject, but not necessarily the case, which is why meal planning can be so key so that you can track ahead, you can hold yourself accountable, you can give yourself that outside perspective. Can you go over some tips to help with that? I think that is often the biggest struggle that pre-planning, but if we don’t do it, we’re setting ourselves up for failure. And as odd as it sounds to have a plan in place that makes us more mindful.

Julia (14:25):
Yeah, definitely. I mean, even just pre-planning or pre logging, whatever that looks like for you can really help us bring that intentionality and just ensure that we are hitting our goals and we’re usually sitting down to plan in a time that we’re not hungry or tired, so we’re able to make more mindful choices. So we’re really just setting ourselves up for success. Like you said, sometimes you aren’t able to be mindful simply just because our environment doesn’t allow for us make long choices. If you’re someone who you work 10 to 12 hour shifts and you don’t have a plan for what you’re going to eat when you get off shift, then of course you’re not going to make the best choices. You can’t expect yourself to do that. But pre tracking really helps to come in and reduce any questions of what you should have, reduce any food noise throughout the day and just allow you to set up a plan.

(15:11):
And this can look different for every single person. For some people it can be meal prepping individual meals. For some people it could be bulk prepping, maybe a few protein items or veggies, if that’s what you struggle with, so that you have them easily available to throw into meals, even if it’s coming home and chopping up your produce, your fruits and veggies and just having them ready to grab in the fridge to pair with something for when you get off that shift, that can go a huge way or a long way just to help you have that readily available for you and give you that crutch to lean on when you are needing it.

Cori (15:45):
You’re using that power of the pause to plan ahead so that you can be more mindful because you’re not letting emotions or stress or fatigue or any of these other things come into play. You’re sitting down to really assess. And I think it’s key at these points that we reflect on even what our emotional triggers are and how we respond to them and why they come up, and even what our coming week or coming months, even the coming year looks like in terms of some of those stressors to really plan ahead for it. Because if we don’t own what’s going on, all those priorities that come up are what become our excuses. So off of that key takeaways, if someone wants to be more mindful so that their priorities aren’t sabotaging them, their emotions aren’t sabotaging them, they can be more mindful in their eating to see the best results.

Julia (16:33):
I mean, just going off of that, obviously dialing into what your personal causes are that lead you to eat more mindlessly. So could it be that lack of preparation? Could it be emotions? Could it be that you’re on the go and you’re very busy? It could it be lack of time? It could it be just distractions during mealtime that you’re experiencing, but whatever it is, really dialing in and figuring out what those biggest challenges are for yourself will allow you to then come up with a plan to implement the necessary changes. So for those who stress eat, for example, this could mean leaning into that power of the paws and working to find healthier stress releases unrelated to food or even facing the stress at the root for those who are busy and on the move. This could mean planning a few meals out, maybe going for overnight oats or a smoothie that you can take with you on the go in your car, or even keeping some macro friendly, convenient snacks on hand like beef jerky, roos, edamame, protein bars in your gym bag for whenever you’re in a pinch. But again, this is where tracking will service that data and allows us to see those areas throughout the day in the weeks where we are struggling and allow us to see those huge room and areas of growth.

Cori (17:45):
Being more mindful isn’t just being aware of how your body responds to the food that you eat or how full you feel. It really is about having that outside perspective of how everything works together and how your fueling is impacting you and how your emotions are impacting your fueling. So it’s so much more than just intuitive eating, truly at its heart. And again, we are human and that voice inside our head can really sometimes sabotage us. So having that outside perspective and using tracking to our advantage, whether it is in a food tracker and if someone’s maybe struggling with the food tracker, struggling with macros, struggling with even becoming a little feeling that they’re obsessive with the numbers, what would you recommend they do to track to help them have that outside perspective to be more mindful?

Julia (18:31):
Yeah, that’s a great question. I would say even just taking a more modified approach to tracking, whether it be just a protein goal or again, if you’re really struggling with a certain meal, even just focusing on that meal, maybe it’s just breakfast or it’s just your snacks and really just trying to start small, and then over time you can build up and gather more data. But even just that will allow you to then go in and see how you can make just those little 1% changes day to day.

Cori (18:58):
I love that. And I even think taking pictures of the meals you want to eat, you plan to eat that will fuel you well. And then even taking pictures of the things that you maybe consumed that weren’t on what you had planned to eat, to sort of be able to compare, to have that data, to understand even writing out some notes on why you then had those things. There’s so many different ways to hold yourself accountable and give that outside perspective to then assess your feelings, how they’re impacting your fueling, and be more mindful in how you choose to fuel. Julia, any other closing thoughts? This has been fabulous.

Julia (19:32):
Just again, kind of figuring out what those possible causes are for you, and this is where it looks different for every single person and not being afraid to even dive in if it is something more so like stress, if it is something, whatever it may be for you, just not being afraid to dive even into it, because often it’s things beyond food, right? It’s that planning, it’s that accountability. So just not being afraid to dive into it and make those small changes over time, that is what adds up to that lasting change.

Cori (20:01):
It’s all in the reflection guys. Hopefully this was really helpful for you to really step back, see how you can be more mindful in your fueling. Love to hear your biggest takeaways. Julia, thank you so much for joining me today. Have a great rest of your week.

 

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

by | Apr 3, 2025 | podcast

Listen:

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast. Everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. What if not having changed anything is truly the problem? So I had someone comment, I haven’t changed anything, but all of a sudden I’m gaining weight and getting that comment, I slightly smiled because I think often we think, well, I’m not doing anything different, so why am I getting a different result? And my comment back to her, I could tell it slightly surprised her, but my comment back was, have you considered that not changing anything may actually be part of the problem? Because guess what? Your body, your lifestyle, your mindset, your goals are constantly evolving. And if you aren’t adjusting your workouts or diet to match that mismatch now with what used to work when your body and lifestyle and goals were all in a different place might be part of the problem.

(00:57):
What we do to reach one goal can often hold us back from reaching the next, even if our goal is still weight loss. And I bring this up because I think over the seasons, we need to assess what does and doesn’t work for our lifestyles. We need to assess where our mindset is right now. But in thinking about all this, when we think about sustainability, we also think about this as one thing. So think about what was sustainable for you in college? What was sustainable, maybe as a newlywed, what was sustainable when you had young kids? What’s sustainable when you’re an empty nester? All these things are going to be different. Sustainable is going to mean something different to you at each of these phases. And if you try and cling to what felt comfortable and confused, comfort with sustainability, you’re going to ultimately hold yourself back because nothing works forever.

(01:40):
And everything is constantly changing. And I bring up the seasons too, because I think we think often, okay, yes, now I’m older, so I have to adjust, or my goals have changed, so I have to adjust. But even over just the course of a year, your habits are not going to look the same, driving towards the same goal. And the more we own that, the more we can come back to the fundamentals, but evolve the exact implementation of habits before we fall off. So if you think about a workout plan, you’ve done a workout plan, or maybe you’ve done a diet plan even, and all of a sudden you’re like, oh, this is just not sustainable any longer. Well, how has your lifestyle changed? What’s happened? Is it simply that you’re hitting that hard? Where at 21 days you always start to give up? Okay, well maybe that’s the case.

(02:23):
Maybe it’s just a timeframe thing. It’s not that anything else in your lifestyle has even changed. Well, then how can you get over this hurdle still doing more than you would’ve done in the past? What works in January when you’re super motivated, all of a sudden it’s summer, you’re traveling more. Those habits might not work. And if you keep trying to clinging to them, that’s where you can end up falling off and sabotaging yourself. Same thing with the holidays. So the more we’re constantly assessing, okay, A, am I getting the goal or reaching the goal I want? And maybe then I do keep the habits, but if I’m not seeing the results that I want, or even going backwards and I haven’t started to fall off my plan to get less consistent, what is a mismatch that I need to address? And I think it’s really key that not only do we do a lot of reflecting along our journey and set those checkpoints, so not only a deadline for our ultimate goal, but even, and I won’t say deadlines because I think deadlines mean, oh, we’re supposed to be done here.

(03:12):
I do like to call ’em checkpoints, but just times to check in, be like, okay, every three weeks I’m going to do a check-in. I’m going to assess how things have gone, assess my true consistency, and then reflect on what it can change. Because it’s kind of like we’re a mechanic on our car. You don’t want to have your car and then not do the check-ins, the oil changes, all those different things. You want to be doing those things so that your car works really well. But so often we’re not doing those checkups, so to speak, on our diet and workout routines as we’re working towards our goal. All of a sudden we’re just like, oh, it’s not working. The car’s broken down. I’m just going to set it on fire and leave it there and go do something else. No, you wouldn’t do that.

(03:47):
You got to take care of that car. So it keeps moving. You don’t want to have to go buy a new one. You can’t buy a new body. So you got to do those checkups. But I want you to really reflect if you are struggling with seeing results, what other things have changed? Because sustainable doesn’t mean that it is comfortable. It doesn’t mean what we’ve always done. It is going to mean that there is some hard, it just has to be something built off. Those basics that we can consistently do that we know will drive us forward. And that’s even where we so often see that response of, oh gosh, why didn’t I do this sooner? Well, it didn’t feel sustainable to start, but now it does. But you embraced the why behind it. You reflected on what you needed to meet yourself where you’re at.

(04:25):
You went from those January habits where you could do six days a week, one hour in the gym to realizing all of a sudden that felt like the effort wasn’t getting the outcome that you wanted and it wasn’t feeling worth it. And so you’re going to give up. But instead you’re saying, no, no, no, I’m going to do three days a week because there is no ideal. It’s just about meeting myself where I’m at. And in that evolution, in that willingness to change, in that willingness to even say, Hey, it’s not a right or wrong thing. It’s just that nothing works forever. What I did in college doesn’t work for me now. Right? That reflection is what ultimately drives us forward to create sustainable patterns that will evolve. Because sustainable means being open to evolution so that we’re always meeting ourselves where we’re at. So if you have been frustrated by your lack of progress and say, but I haven’t changed my healthy habits, really dive in and reflect on what in those habits might need to evolve because something else in your lifestyle, even if it’s a mindset, even if it’s a routine because of work, a family life, that you’re not going to change, especially, how can you then evolve everything else to match what your body, your goals, your lifestyle needs right now?

 

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

Better Daily Habits For Results That Last!

Better Daily Habits For Results That Last!

by | Mar 27, 2025 | podcast

Listen:

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast. Everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. I don’t know about you guys, but I have a hard time sometimes slowing down to speed up. I am all about taking that action I want to do. Reflecting is not in my natural nature and it’s something I’ve had to learn, which is why I’m super excited to talk with Coach Ashley today about the power of the pause. Ashley, thank you so much for joining me.

Ashley (00:33):
Thank you for having me. I’m so excited to get to dive into this topic and talk through it and talk through what are some of the benefits for people in their health and wellness journey.

Cori (00:43):
So let’s get right to it because as I mentioned, I am not good at reflecting. It is something I’ve had to really learn to slow down to ultimately speed up because there is a desire to sometimes do act out of emotion, react to something. So how can we really see the power in the pause and then use it to our advantage?

Ashley (01:03):
Absolutely. Okay, so when we talk about the pause, the way I like to frame this is it’s the space in between when you have a thought and the action that you take right afterwards. Now, the way that we kind of produce action and the way that our thoughts influence our actions, there’s two different systems. There’s the fast action response, which is usually born out of patterns that we have routines like the way we’ve operated since we are two, three years old. And I don’t want to say it’s animalistic, but it’s so instinctual that it’s just whatever our first instinct is. And then we have our slow response system, which is where more of that pause comes into play, where you think a thought, have thought, take a pause, and then determine or choose the action that you’re going to take. And so that’s where that pause kind of exists is right in between the position of where you’ve had that thought.

(02:03):
And what’s so powerful about it is that it allows your brain to actually override the automatic pattern that you’ve developed over the course of your entire life. And so the reason why this is so important, especially with behavior change, you’re trying to change anything about yourself, whether it’s the way that you wake up. I mean, I’ve had to use this because I’ve been told as I get older, I should wash my face and do skincare before I go to bed so that I don’t have wrinkles and I hate washing my face and it’s not in my nighttime. So I’ve had to intentionally use this strategy for something as simple as being clean, but you can use it for your health, your fitness, any area of wellness.

Cori (02:50):
It’s remembering that your habits made you do it in a weird way. And we think of habits as a good thing, but the habits do have that ingrained pattern that we default back into. So when we’re trying to create something new, we have to use that pause to recognize that our habits made us do it and unlearn those patterns as we’re even learning new ones. And that’s why it’s so hard and this giving ourselves space to really think about it is so key. So knowing that and knowing that it can be helpful for about any habit mentioning washing your face, I’m like, I’m not good at that either. Maybe I should use that here. But what can we do to help make ourselves actually take that pause when it’s so easy to default back into action?

Ashley (03:33):
I think first, recognizing and understanding that there are those two brains within us is the first thing. What that does is it allows us to remove guilt and shame from this process because a lot of times I’ll hear from clients is like, I just feel like I can’t get a handle specifically around food a lot. I can’t get a handle on this. I feel like I keep self-sabotaging. And what that produces is then a shame response that drives them away from the action altogether because they’re so worried about failure. So the first thing that you can do is when you have the thought, so let’s take just the situation of washing your face. So I’m cozied up on the couch, it’s hitting that time that I’m ready to go to bed. Typically it’s like, okay, just go to bed. I’m done. I’m ready for the end of the night.

(04:25):
Okay, wait, what can I use here to interrupt my pattern that I have of just going to bed? So for me, again, ridiculousness, but this is just who I am. I have to set an alarm on my phone that is at least five minutes ahead of the time that I’m too tired to actually want to do anything. And it’s an interruption, right? Go wash your face. Well, now it’s right in front of me to either make the decision because it’s an interruption. I either need to make the decision to go do the thing or to not do the thing. But because I know that there is something intentional I’ve placed in there, there’s no shame or guilt around my choice that I make. I’m just making the choice. The second thing that we really have to understand here is that a lot of our automatic decisions, a lot of our routines are inside being driven by dopamine.

(05:24):
And the reason why this is so important to understand is dopamine is highly addictive to us as humans. Humans. There’s studies that have been done on rats that show rats will go crazy for sugar as much as they can, even to the point of it killing them. And again, I don’t want to narrow us down to animals because we’re not, and we do have the second brain, however, acknowledging that dopamine is driving a lot of the impulsive decisions that we get, and that’s what we’re pursuing day in and day out. Just having that understanding puts us more into position of like, okay, I can think about this and analyze what’s happening versus just moving and going and reacting to my life moment and moment day after day and feeling like I have no control over it. So I think the first step is like understand what’s happening inside your brain.

Cori (06:16):
I think that understanding is so key because it does put you in a more proactive state. You recognize that there are things happening that are natural and that you shouldn’t even necessarily feel guilty about, but at the same time, you can control and change. And I love that example of setting that alarm For me, it’s a change in my environment. So thinking now about like, okay, I’m actually bad at washing my face as well, what could I do to then shift things so I have that reminder, well, I could put out all the materials I need to wash my face right on the counter so that I have no excuse. I see it when I go to brush my teeth, which I do do religiously. So that’s a good habit to have ingrained, but that will help me have that reminder and then make a choice. Yes, I can still choose not to do it, but it’s a lot easier to remember to do it when those visuals are there. So it is finding a way that you can create that pause through other things that trigger it, because trying to think about pausing is kind of impossible to start until you really recognize the pattern you’re repeating.

Ashley (07:17):
You just hit on that word. You have to recognize it to know that it’s happening. Recognizing it requires reflection, it requires pausing, it requires looking back and even having a moment of analysis. So pair this back, really simple things that affect our clients daily. Oh, I didn’t work out yesterday because my day was so busy. Okay, let’s reflect on it. Let’s look back to yesterday then. What was different? What was the same? Where was the moment that you decided that you weren’t going to work out? And can you in that moment, is there a different trigger that we could have put into place? Just like you just described, what is something that you want to do differently? And in fact, the author of Atomic Habits talks about how to implement and put new habits into place, and everything comes from a queue. So let’s say stressful day, long day meetings up the wazoo, something happened at work.

(08:27):
Okay, stress response, right? Then you have the routine of that. So maybe the routine is when you get stressed, you stop by McDonald’s and you pick up your shamrock shake because it’s March and you got to have one in there. That’s like your little trait. And then at the reward, what’s the reward of that is that you get comfort. Okay, well, if I want to interrupt that pattern, I want to do something different, then what I have to do is the moment that the routine is hitting, that’s where I have to insert the pause. That’s where I have to go. I guess I’m going to take a different way home maybe as a strategy, or I’m going to immediately drive to the gym right now versus even stopping someplace else to delay that process. And that’s where again, the pause though comes as you’re recognizing the routine that’s there.

Cori (09:23):
And it’s even using the pause not right in the moment. So while we do want that pause to come in the moment to assess our choice in the matter, what we really want to do, it’s even realizing that when something happens, instead of creating that guilt, instead of blaming yourself for the impulse, instead of just writing it off as, oh, this is a routine or habit or mindset that I can’t control, at the end of the day, reflect, put in that pause automatically right now at a time you can fully control, just say, Hey, I’m going to reflect on the day, what happened that led to this routine? What triggered this pattern? And then what things can I test out to do it to then implement? Maybe it is even putting in your gym bag so that you can go right to the gym, right into your car, so you don’t go get that shamrock shake.

(10:05):
Maybe it’s even having an extra snacker protein shake that you walk out of your office with at the end of the day of work because you’ll have that and won’t stop then. But using almost a preset pause at the end of the day to help yourself then even see those pauses because you’ll notice as you drink that protein shake, even though you’re doing that now sort of out of habit because it’s there, that creates that pause to assess this is how I felt. Okay, this actually did help, or maybe it didn’t, but it pauses your brain enough to give you that choice when you do select that thing. So it’s using pause in multiple different ways so that we can recognize what leads to that cycle. For us, even

Ashley (10:44):
One of the key things I think you hit on there, Cori, that’s really important is it puts you back into control and choice and decision. And I do think so many of us are just running around day to day being highly reactive to what the day brings to us. And sure, there’s going to be certain days that are that way. There will be things that are outside of your control. But what you just referenced is how do I use tools and strategies to make sure that I’m being intentional? Even the strategy of reflection, end of the day, you’re being very intentional with that to reflect back, to say, okay, what did I like about my day? What did I not like about the day? Let me forecast into tomorrow. What would I like to change for tomorrow? And it puts you into that driver’s seat again versus feeling like you’re just a passenger in your life and just whiplash in and out of traffic whichever way that you’re going.

(11:44):
And that’s a key factor that any person who wants to implement a behavior change, change something about their life change, something about their health and wellness, about their fitness, you have to start with the power to choose, have to start there. Once you recognize that you have the opportunity to choose, that’s when you can start actually using this strategy very strategically. Whether it is, I know sometimes I’ve worked with clients who I’m like, end of the week, here’s your reflection point. How many people are actually spending the time to look at their week or look at their month or even look at a quarter or a year of their life to say, what do I, lemme pause and reflect on what I liked here. That’s why New Year’s is such a great time to start producing change is because there’s a pause that’s built in after Christmas, after New Year’s, people are like leaning back, ate too much food, and they’re like, I can slow down for a second. And it’s built into their calendar almost. But we have to be intentional about building that in other places. Otherwise, a whole year goes by and you realize you’re in the same place

Cori (12:59):
And it can’t just be in the reflection after the doing, even it’s being intentional and taking that pause even prior. So to start your day, if you find yourself constantly in that reactive state, not pausing, even saying, well, I just can’t pause. And again, giving away your control, what at the beginning of your day can you do to set your intentions for the day, to set out the routine to recognize, Hey, this is what I even have in store and own it. Because I think that’s something we don’t do enough is own the reality of our situation, own our priorities, and therefore we don’t give ourselves the power to pause because we don’t recognize what might be coming up with the new year. We do exactly that, and the more we do it by even setting specific things versus saying, well, I want to track this year because I want to lose weight.

(13:41):
Well, how are you going to track, okay, how is that going to look on a daily basis? What action can you take today for that? The more you start to give yourself those really tangible things, the more you start to see the actions and the more it actually becomes easier to even pause because you are aware of those daily actions. And I feel like awareness is so much at the heart of all of this, and we’ve been circling around and touching on in so many different ways. Is there any way you’d recommend that someone goes about building that awareness more in the moment besides just the reflection, just the setting, the intentions for the day?

Ashley (14:16):
Absolutely. I think you’re touching on some really great reflection strategies and in intentional strategies, but it doesn’t take away from the moment that you need to make a decision where stress is high or your body and mind are pursuing comfort, right? So when you get into that moment, there’s the 5, 5, 5 rule, and this is a little bit more thought driven. So once you have the thought that you’re recognizing as like, okay, I really don’t want to, I’m just going to keep using this example, go to the gym. My day was long. I’m stressed out, I’m exhausted. Okay, well, let me give five seconds just to do nothing for five seconds. Have that thought address that it’s there. Okay, now I’m going to ask myself five minutes from now, how do I feel now about going to the gym? Okay, if I could get to the gym for just five minutes and do just five minutes of treadmill, warmup, foam rolling, whatever it is that I can, I just do five minutes, is that something that I can do?

(15:20):
And starting to look from that five, five perspective and talking yourself through it, it produces enough pause in the moment that you are not just reacting to the thought that is sitting there. It’s not an automatic like, oh, don’t want to go to the gym, not going, it’s a, oh, don’t want to go to the gym. Five seconds. Think about it. Okay, five more minutes, ask yourself again. So you’re driving home, ask yourself again, okay, now what if I could just go do five minutes that I’m there? So that’s one strategy that people can kind of utilize is that rule of 5, 5, 5. This is a little bit more meditative and it doesn’t work for every single person, but if you know what box breathing is, box breathing brings down the cortisol levels and the stress response in the body, which is where we make a lot of our automatic decisions pursuing dopamine.

(16:21):
So when you are in a high stress situation, you go back to routine. So what box breathing does is it’s strategy where you’re inhaling for a beat of four or five or a six. I have seen people do it even up to eight. Then holding that breath for that count of four to eight and then releasing it. What it does is it lowers the body sympathetic nervous system. That response that you’re having, it lowers your cortisol, brings you out of your amygdala, the emotional part of your brain and puts you back into, I call it the driver’s seat, that prefrontal cortex where you’re actually making decisions. You’re actually getting to have that response. So those are two strategies that strateg you can use to implement a pause into a moment or a situation, but something I think is key for you to even expand on. I love that you said earlier, Cori was about the environmental factors and how you can use those to interrupt and produce a pause.

Cori (17:26):
It’s all about where your attention goes, your energy flows, right? And with the breathing, with having those environmental shifts, we’re creating something that draws our attention to where we want it to go. And with the breathing, it’s amazing how much just that pause, not only because you’re pausing to count the breasts, but just that relaxation relaxes your mind, gets you to refocus, not just respond to something and allows you to honestly assess what you want. Because a lot of times in that immediate wanting to take action, you default back into what’s comfortable, convenient. You almost even give yourself permission and make an excuse for yourself to just do what you’ve always done. Well, I just don’t have the power. I just don’t have the self-control. I don’t have the willpower. No, I’m sorry. You do. You have all of those things, but we have to make the choice to have them.

(18:12):
And I’m very much a tough love person for myself and for everybody I work with. So for me, it is even in those pauses, not just saying, well, what do I want in the future? But why am I feeling like I don’t deserve this? Why am I feeling like I should give up on myself? And I think that honest reflection a lot of times is like, well, heck no. I’m better than this. Right? There gets a little like dust his shoulders off. It’s recognizing not only why you deserve it, but sometimes just saying strength is built through what you overcome. And the first few times you take that pause as hard as it is, that’s ultimately what makes you more comfortable being uncomfortable in that way. And so for me, it is a lot of environmental shifts. It’s not having the candy in the cabinet, but putting it in the freezer even though it tastes even more delicious, arguably in the freezer.

(19:01):
It’s that pause that creates the environmental shift that originally created that now helps. And so now I have that whole cycle in place. It’s putting out the gym bag or putting out the different things I need to handle. I hate for some reason responding to different mail things, even though I’ll respond to emails in two seconds. But if it comes in the actual mail, which generally are more important tax things that you have to do, whatever, but I for some reason, dislike doing them. But if I put them on my keyboard on my desk, I will do them because I have to pick it up to move it. So I’m that lazy that I will do it right? It’s just those small things that almost seem so silly that can be the biggest pauses and shifts just because they make us actually have to take action in a different way. And where our attention goes, our energy flows, right?

Ashley (19:48):
Yes. Oh, it’s one of my favorite statements and one of my beliefs is you have to know that in the driver’s seat of your life. You have to know that the direction you are determining the direction of who you’re going to be a year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now, and this is where everything that you just said reminded me of. Another tactic that people can utilize in the thought processes is we’re so impulse and dopamine driven sometimes as human beings, that as you’re interrupting your thoughts and your flows and kind of taking control of your life, one thing that you always have to ask yourself, is this serving the future version of myself actually going to thank me for this? Because sure, right now in the moment, I might be tired, I might be stressed, I might be joyous, I might have all of these different things, but a week from now, am I going to regret that I made the choice that I’m making right now, three months down the line, am I going to regret the way that I’ve handled the last three weeks or the decisions I’m making today?

(21:01):
And it really starts putting into your mind this future focus where it’s not all about the present moment and just the present moment, but now you’re living for something that is, I don’t want to say greater than yourself because it’s you. You’re pretty great. Do you deserve that for yourself? Does the future version of yourself actually deserve that? And when you start thinking about it that way and having more of a No, I want to live a purpose driven life wherever I’m going, I want to make sure that I am driving somewhere intentional as we start living that and start having that thought process and asking ourselves, again, pausing, what decision do I want to make for my future self? And I’ll just say this, sometimes the decision is yes, I do need to rest today because if I go work out right at this moment, I might pull my hamstring because my mind muscle connection isn’t there. And if I’m going to do that, if this happens, then I’m going to workout tomorrow at this time instead and starting to use the technique of even if then I’m in the driver’s decision, I can decide if I’m going to work out or not. And if I make this decision, then this is the consequence that comes of that decision, if you will.

(22:22):
Bargaining with yourself in that way can be another strategy. You can use that pause too.

Cori (22:29):
I definitely want to talk about bargaining because I think that can even sometimes steer into taking ownership of the fact that we are dopamine driven. Because I use it, and I don’t call it bargaining, but I think it’s very much along the same lines of, well, I can work out, or if I don’t want to work out, I have to work out to listen to this podcast that I really want to listen to or with not wanting to do the dishes, I also get to do this other fun thing. So it’s even combining and using things that really are that fix that we want with things that maybe we don’t want to do, or I hate foam rolling, I don’t want to do it. Okay, well, I get to watch X amount of Netflix if I also have foam roll during these different points in the show. So it’s sometimes connecting things that you are driven to do with things that you aren’t driven to do, to give you that pause to want to do them, and even potentially create some positive associations so that you want to ingrain in those habits potentially even faster too.

Ashley (23:29):
Oh, it’s so good. Using our dopamine fix to our advantage is so smart. And again, there brings a fun level to it and a joyous occasion to it because so often I will hear from people like, oh, I have to work out, I have to work out. And I’m like, is there anything that we enjoy here? I had a client once who her favorite thing about working out was the outfits that she got to buy to workout in. She loved it. She’s like, I love a cute gym outfit. I’m like, more power to you. I’m a t-shirt and sweatpants girl, but I love that for you and you love it for you. And so her thing was, okay, if I’m consistent this long, I get to go buy this new outfit. And when you start kind of combining that reward factor, like you said, that dopamine, and again, not guilting yourself over it, okay, yeah, I’m driven with some rewards. Awesome. How can I start partnering those things together and marrying them together so that I am both moving in the direction I want to go? And what you said, Cori was so important, starting to associate positive associations.

(24:43):
There is usually so many patterns people have had throughout their years of dieting and feeling like failure or feeling like they had these lived experiences of, well, in the past, my pattern has been to quit or to fail or to lose it and gain it. And so with that, there’s these negative associations with the process. I love asking the question, well, how much fun, positive joy can we start partnering with this experience so it doesn’t feel like so much resistance in it? You can tell me a little bit about your experience here, but I hear this a lot with tracking or when people go into a calorie deficit for the first time, there’s a fear response and they’re like, Ooh, they just cringe with it. And I’m like, okay, well let’s pause here. Let’s pause and figure out where that’s coming from. Okay, can we even use a strategy of a little game? How many treats can I fit into my macros on this cycle so that I can figure out how to actually not hate being in a calorie deficit? Because look at, I can have as many treats as I want as long as it fits my macros.

Cori (26:03):
I think that’s key because as a dessert person, for me, tracking seemed restrictive. And then I realized, wait, I’ve always cut out all these things without tracking, and now with tracking, I can work them in. So my trying to restrict food groups before was more restrictive than tracking, but because a lot of times we have used tracking to cut things out, we have that negative association. So pausing to really assess why we have attitudes towards things and break down how we’ve used ’em in the past is super important. That’s why I like having people just track to start because they see there’s no judgment in it, there’s nothing they can’t have. And then from there, they can adjust based on what they actually want. And I love your example of working in the things and seeing how much of a game you can make it.

(26:44):
Same thing with meal prep, right? A lot of times people have meal prepped and they’ve had chicken and broccoli. I actually do like chicken and broccoli to some extent, but I want diversity. And so if you only think about meal prepping in that way, that’s not going to be fun. But if you go look for new recipes and cookbooks and search on IG and Pinterest, you can find so many good things that make all these different habits really fun. But it goes back to what we’ve been talking about, power of the pause to assess why do I have certain attitudes and what can change this for me?

Ashley (27:19):
It’s so good. It’s so good what you just said. I think if there’s any two questions that somebody were to walk away with today, it would be those two questions right there. Why does this exist? So getting super curious without judgment towards yourself, working in that intentional reflection, is it at the end of the day for you? Is it at the end of a week as you’re looking through things, you have a cup of coffee, sit on your back deck, think about your week. What is that experience going to be like? And then second, asking yourself, well, what can I add in to this experience even before I take away? What can I add in that’s going to give me more of what I want? Is it quick and easy meals? Are those things that are important to me? Is it more treats? I’m also a treat person.

(28:05):
I want them, right? What is it that I want to bring into my health and wellness experience? And this is why I always ask clients when first starting with them, what is your ideal vision for your health and wellness? Magic genie pops out of a bottle. It’s like you get three wishes. You get these. If you could have anything, what could those be? And Cori, if I could tell you how many times people aren’t sure because they’ve never actually stopped to think about it and no one’s asked them, well, what do you actually want your health and wellness to look like, feel like? What do you want your process? Do you want to go hard in the paint or do you want it to be a little bit more slow because you’re like, I want to implement one thing at a time. Do you want this to be something?

(28:54):
There’s not the pause that they haven’t even thought about it. And so when I get to start working with a client, that’s the first thing we’re going to pause. We’re going to actually ask these questions of ourselves, and then we’re going to start piece by piece asking, well, what needs to change in order to get there and how do we go about that? So that’s where even as somebody is starting out at asking themselves what has changed, but I’ll just give this as a freebie too. One of my other favorite questions to ask people is, when was the last time you felt your best? Because in this reactive, crazy life, people go, man, 20 years ago, what was different about life 20 years ago, comparative to right now? Because if we can figure out the gaps between what was and what is now and then even go and where do we want to go from there? It allows people to pick out what’s changed before and what do I want to change now? So a lot of reflection in there. Journaling’s a great prompt if you’re a journaler, if you’re an analog person, maybe you’re a verbal processor. I will just say, this is where a coach comes in handy because you can verbal process at your coach and they can help bring some clarity. But even if you don’t have a coach, having a support person in your life that you can process with can also be really strong.

Cori (30:27):
I think there are so many great tips in that, and one of the biggest summaries of that is question and be curious. And I would add in a little bit, dare to dream because I think part of why we don’t ever achieve as much as we’d want is because we do limit ourselves whole other subject for another day. But we need to dare to dream. And if you want to implement the power of the pause, all these things are questioning and being curious about why you have that response. So in the moment, if you take that deep breath, you do the box breathing, you ask yourself, Hey, why is this coming up right now? Even that right there can make you really assess what you want and then put in the actions that you really feel you need to move forward towards your goals. So Ashley, three key takeaways for you from all of this that you want people to have in terms of using the power of the pause.

Ashley (31:21):
Let me think. Because when I get to this point, I always need a pause. I’m like, oh, there’s so many big things that people could take away. I would say the first thing is one, understand what’s going on internally. Understand that your brain and body are designed a certain way. And as you understand that, you use that too as a strategy to know that you can make a choice and that you can start choosing. And I say that very intentionally because sometimes people will slide into, well, this is just the way that I am and I can’t control it. No, no, no. Knowledge is power. Once you can know what your body and mind are doing now, you can use that to your advantage. So one, have that understanding without shame, without guilt. Two, get curious. So start working it into your day-to-day life or even weekly, that opportunity, 30, 60 minutes to just reflect on what is going well.

(32:16):
It doesn’t have to be super deep. You can say, what is going well? What is not going well? What do I want to focus on in this next week? Really simple. Third, what strategies are you going to use? So if you’ve noted a specific behavior or something that you want to change internally, maybe again, we’ll use the same example, stressed out, tired, you need to go to the gym, but you’re craving that shamrock shake. Okay, notice that. What’s the pattern interruption? What am I going to do differently this week? What am I going to try out? And then the biggest thing, after you try out that strategy, make sure you come back to the reflection. How did that work for me? Am I going to keep doing it in this way? So those are my big takeaways. It’s almost like a step by step. If you want to simplify it, understand, get curious, take an action off of that.

Cori (33:14):
And then pause again. Right?

Ashley (33:16):
It’s a cycle. It just keeps going. Yes!

Cori (33:19):
It does. We’re constantly learning and growing. And Ashley, thank you so much for all of this. I would love to hear how all of you are going to be using the power of the pause, what questions you really use to reflect and how you’ve shifted your environment, bargained with yourself, created those changes through really understanding where you’re at now and what you need to move forward during the most stressful times. There we go. Ashley, thank you again. It was fabulous to discuss the power of the pause with you.

Ashley (33:48):
Absolutely. Thanks, Cori.

 

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

10 Reasons You Aren’t Seeing Results

10 Reasons You Aren’t Seeing Results

by | Mar 20, 2025 | podcast

Listen:

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast, everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. I want to talk about 10 reasons you aren’t seeing results. Number one being you’re more interested in being right than finding what’s right. All of us can get ego in what we’re doing, ego in our knowledge, but knowing isn’t doing, and we can know a lot of things and still not see the tweaks that meet us where we’re at. We’re also basing a lot of what we think is right on what has worked for us in the past. But guess what? You are exactly the same person right now that you were even two seconds ago. I think my hair just moved. We’re always evolving and changing and the more we get set in our ways and think of right and wrong as these very binary things over so much nuance in what could work a little bit better or what could work a little worse, the more we’re setting ourselves up for failure.

(00:53):
So I think a lot of times when we see that pushback of someone even suggesting something new or we get that pushback when someone suggests something new, we think instantly to ourselves, no, I’m right. There’s some defense of what we’re doing over being like, how could I be wrong? Or How could this be better? It doesn’t even have to be that you were wrong, it could just be better for you. Now we’re constantly doing new research that is proving new things too. So there’s so much opportunity in the options. So when something’s not working, instead of being like, well, these are all the things I’m doing right, say to yourself, how can I find a better way? Because if we get too caught up in being right over finding what’s right, we’re going to hold ourselves back. We’re going to shut ourselves down to all the options and opportunities out there.

(01:35):
Number two, you’re not making the one change you need to make and you’re looking for any way to defend against it. I actually had a conversation with somebody in Messenger the other day where I was talking to her and I’m like, Hey, you say you’re willing to make all these different changes and you say nothing’s working. What’s one change you’re fighting against or one area? You’re not really looking at your routine to assess. And we were talking about nutrition. She’s like, well, I’ve done all these different diets, and ultimately I was like, well, what about your workouts? No, I’m not changing my workouts. I’m like, right there is the problem. The one thing we aren’t willing to change is often thing that needs a little adjustment, and maybe it’s not in line with what our diet needs to be because of other hormonal factors. Maybe it’s not in line with hormonal shifts.

(02:15):
Maybe it’s not in line with our age, our schedule, whatever else it is. And it wasn’t that her workouts even worked fabulous. Maybe it wasn’t her workouts, but that unwillingness to look at them was going to hold her back not only from changing potential issues with them, but that was going to pop up somewhere else. Because a lot of times when we defend against changes in specific areas more, we’re putting up mental barriers against other changes. And so at some point we’re going to hold ourselves back from making a change that we really need. So the harder you’re fighting a change, the more you have to look at the change and be like, this might be the one change I really need. Number three, you simply give up before results have had time to snowball. So often that’s the case. We just need to keep going sucks because we sometimes don’t feel like we can see results happening, but that’s often also because we’re only measuring progress in one way.

(03:02):
So if you want that scale to change, you got to stop staring at the scale because it’s not going to change by staring at it by wanting it to change any faster. You have to celebrate the effort, you have to celebrate those habit changes. And so what you need to do is set ways to be successful in more ways by measuring progress in more than one way. I do believe that you can see progress towards your goals and know you’re on the right track pretty quickly, whether it’s changes in energy, changes in feeling fueled, changes in bloat, changes in just feeling healthier. There’s a lot of different ways we can know that we’re on the right path towards something and that the changes are paying off. And a lot of times it’s even owning. Am I actually doing the habits consistently? As silly as it sounds, I always think back to when I was trying to make a habit change when I was younger and my mom put a calendar out and then gave me gold stars and I could put the stars on each day.

(03:47):
Do that for yourself. If you’re doing that consistently and you’re doing that consistently for weeks on weeks on weeks, you’re going to see progress. And it might not happen again in the way that you want first, but you’re going to see progress. But you’ve got to assess that consistency because a lot of times you might notice there aren’t gold stars on specific days. We’ve missed things. Not to mention we are not recognizing all the time it took to get into our current situation. We’re seeing where we are right now. We want changes tomorrow, but we don’t see that actually a lot of these habits, the results we have now, they’re results of our past hustle, of our past habits and they have built up over years even the mindsets behind them that have kept parts of them ingrained. So sometimes it’s not that you need something different, you just need to keep going and making little tweaks to keep yourself consistent and dedicated, but you need to keep going.

(04:32):
Number four, you’re trying to avoid the hard. There is no way around it. If you try and go back from the hard, it’s basically like you’re trapped in the circle in the fence and you go up and you hit the hard and then you go back and then you go try and go a different way and you hit the hard and you come back and you’re still stuck in the same radius. You’re just trying to get around it and you can’t. You’re going to hit the hard in some different form, but it’s the same hard. It’s that you’re not willing to go that extra mile to push through that one pain. And I’ll tell you, we do this because we don’t want to fail, but failures are the best learning experience. They are what truly creates our growth, truly creates our strength that we don’t suffer through them as stinky as they might be.

(05:09):
We’re never going to build the strength to overcome. We’re never going to build that mental resilience. We’re never going to move forward towards our goals. The people who have succeeded the greatest have failed the most. We have to embrace that. So stop looking for a way around the heart. The sooner you embrace the heart, even the sooner you can overcome that obstacle, and guess what? The next time you face the heart, it’s not going to feel as hard because you’re going to be more comfortable being uncomfortable and pushing into it, leaning into that discomfort. Number five, you continue to try to focus on your limiting beliefs, not try to you do. You focus on those limiting beliefs. You tell yourself all the things you can’t. You let that inner critic become louder and louder and louder. And if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, this is a great quote by Wayne Dyer, and I think it’s important that we remember that our perspective shapes everything.

(06:00):
We can see something as an opportunity or an obstacle, and it’s very key that we recognize when we’re repeating our limiting beliefs to ourselves because they’re going to color how we approach everything. If you tell yourself you can’t, that you’re not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, you’re not going to be enough for that obstacle. But if you tell yourself, Hey, maybe I’m not even strong enough yet, but I’m going to find a way to get stronger. What’s one thing I can do to improve? You’re still testing that boundary, yet is a very powerful word to give yourself the opportunity to see that you might be able to grow into this. But only by pushing into it, only by questioning those limiting beliefs can you drive forward to reach your goals. Number six, so often we’re not taking ownership. Guess what? If you succeed or fail, it is your fault.

(06:45):
Yes, there are programs and plans that work better for us that speak to us in ways that help us move forward, but ultimately we have to take action. We have to determine what isn’t working and we have to move forward with things that are pushing us forward and we have to let go of things that aren’t working for us. We have to take ownership. It is our fault if something doesn’t work and we can’t keep placing blame outside of ourselves because ultimately, if you really think about what’s worked and what hasn’t, the only common denominator in a lot of those things is you. Yes, there are other things like, oh, it didn’t work to cut out different foods or it didn’t work to have hour long workouts. But that’s still about you and your priorities and your goals and the excuses you choose to make or the hard you choose to push through.

(07:25):
And I see this as a very empowering thing when I’m saying this. This isn’t a bad thing. I’m not saying you can control the rain or that isn’t going to have an impact. And I’m not saying we’re not going to get down on ourselves or do the woe is me, trust me. I do it far too frequently. But I do think it always is coming back to that ownership because that’s what helps us get up and move forward the next day and take that next step and always keep picking ourselves back up when we have fallen. But the more you take ownership, the more you’ll see your power in everything to make changes that move you forward. Number seven, you don’t own your priorities and they become your excuses. Take a look at your excuses right now. A lot of these excuses probably are stemming from things you value, you prioritize in your life or the priorities that you do have and then the impact they have on your lifestyle.

(08:09):
But we need to own what is a priority for us? What is a non-negotiable? Because otherwise it will pop up in our excuses and we’re not planning for it because the reality is our life. A lot of times there are things we can’t change, but we can own those things and then we can plan around them. So right now, if time is your excuse, why are you trying to force an hour long workout? If time is your excuse, why aren’t you steering into getting a few more meals prepped by somebody else or having a few restaurant meals in there? Why are you trying to force a specific meal prep? Why are you trying to force a specific workout routine? Own your priorities because it will help you overcome a lot of those excuses. And it’s not always sexy, but taking it back to those 1% changes, those silly simple habit swaps really adds up.

(08:49):
Number eight, you aren’t constantly reflecting. We learn more in the reflecting than in the doing a lot of times. But if you’re not constantly stepping back to assess what is my goal? Is it still important to me? How are my habits working? Does something need to shift? Especially as the excuses pop up, the motivation starts to fade because what works for one season doesn’t work for another. During the holidays, you’re starting to be like, oh, this doesn’t feel sustainable. The effort doesn’t feel worth the outcome. Okay, well own that. Step back and reflect what’s changed that now makes some of those habits that didn’t even feel bad before, not feel like they are worth it. Maybe you can change the habits and how you’re implementing them because balance isn’t just a set it and forget it finite thing. There is always the act of balancing.

(09:33):
So the more we can really step back and look at everything and constantly reflect, the more we’re going to see opportunity for growth and improvement. And I actually, I read this today and I can’t remember where I read it, but it was a great example of giving more feedback during a time or right after a game where athletes had won. And I thought this was a very interesting thing because I do think we’re more often going to reflect on failures, try and brush past ’em as fast as possible, but we’ll reflect on the failures, beat ourselves up over them. But then a lot of times when we’ve had that success, we then don’t reflect on, Hey, what’s still something we could have improved? Not only what worked, but what’s still something we can improve while we’re in that positive mindset? And I think that’s a very important perspective to take because it also reduces our resistance against feedback at times where maybe something didn’t go as planned.

(10:21):
We’re more willing to reflect. So reflect on those winning experiences, not only to see the good, but to even see the opportunity for growth when you’ve done a lot, right? That will help you see those 1% changes that really pay off. Number nine, you excuse 1% deviations. This is the most dangerous. Well, it’s not that bad. I don’t need to track this little bit of this or Oh, it’s not bad, I just missed this one. Workout deviations are going to happen and you are going to miss that workout. You are not going to log that one thing. But the more we start to get into that habit of excusing them and justifying them to ourselves, the more we’re going to become complacent, the more they’re going to creep in. So saying, Hey, I had to miss this workout for X, Y, and Z reason, but I’m doing this, this, and this as my game plan to move forward is different than letting yourself off the hook.

(11:06):
And I think that’s important that we really note that there’s letting yourself off the hook and there’s giving yourself grace for being human and for life getting in the way. But the mindset and attitude we take with it is very different. Instead of excusing it and justifying it, it’s saying, Hey, this had to happen. Here’s what I’m doing instead. And it’s making sure that you have that clear game plan so that you do something to move yourself forward in terms of shifting your mindset, shifting your habits, shifting your routine, not just excusing it and letting those things slide because we get complacent then, and that’s where we don’t see things snowball and it can still even feel like we’re working just as hard while we’re seeing our results fade. And number 10, you’re constantly searching for an aha moment instead of looking for reminders that connect dots and help you tweak.

(11:48):
I bring this up because I know I am incredibly guilty of it. I do read new things and what’s some magic secret out there? Even though I know there’s not going to be one. And the more I’ve stopped searching for some big thing that’s completely different than what I’ve done because I’ve had people even start the Macro Hawks Program or Metabolic Shred or different programs like that and be like, I was expecting some new magic ratio. Sorry, there probably isn’t any, but if you were to read this and test it out, you might realize that the ratio is done in this order with this framing all of a sudden is that aha moment that makes things click. And so the more I started reading and looking at programs and just listening to podcasts from that perspective of what’s a phrasing to something that I haven’t heard?

(12:27):
Or how are things being said, even like the same description of the basics said in a different way that maybe I can now connect a new dot for myself. Because hearing something that we’ve even heard a thousand times before said in a new phase of life can all of a sudden make things click. And the more we look for those tweaks and everything and the more we hear the nuance and even how something’s being said, the more value we can get where it can end up being the aha moment we need. It just didn’t seem like that big a change to start. So these are 10 reasons why I feel like we often hold ourselves back or how we hold ourselves back from seeing the results we want. And if you’ll notice, none of ’em are macros really or none. Of’em are workout tips because so much relates back to our mindset. Our mindset will shape all the other systems that we really need to enact. So if we can get our mindset framing the changes we need to make in the right way, we’re going to see better results faster. Hope these really helped. I’d love to hear which one really resonated with you the most of all these different tens so that you can really get working towards your goals today.

 

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

Why Willpower Won’t Help You (And What To Do Instead)

Why Willpower Won’t Help You (And What To Do Instead)

by | Mar 13, 2025 | podcast

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Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

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Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast. Everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. Creating a routine you love means meeting yourself where you’re at yet. So often when we want to achieve a goal, what do we do? We look for a perfect plan. We try and force a round peg into a square hole, or maybe it’s a square peg into a round hole, but we’re trying to push something in and create something that really doesn’t fit what we need and even need now. And I’m super excited to dive in with Michelle to really talk about creating that sustainable routine and what that really means. So Michelle, thank you so much for joining me today.

Michelle (00:41):
Thanks for having me.

Cori (00:43):
Let’s talk about how we often approach making changes to reach our goals. We look for a perfect plan, but this is also what sabotages our ultimate success.

Michelle (00:57):
Yes. You can’t just grind your way to success. And so often we look at someone where they’re at right now and we’re like, oh, we want to be like them. And you start to see what they’re doing and we try to go all in and do everything they’re doing all at once, when most likely they probably started small and built their routine and it’s theirs. Your routine is going to look different than everyone else’s. My routine’s different than your routine. We have to have our own routine that really is serving us. And we’re not just kind of a slave to following things and checking things off of the box just because we think that’s ideal.

Cori (01:35):
And it’s an interesting thing because you have to use other people to get an idea of a roadmap. You have to look for plans to help guide you, but it’s remembering that there’s so much nuance to everything. It’s like when you do set your roadmap out, you set your GPS to get to your destination while you have that route that a lot of people might have driven. It is slightly different because your house isn’t their house. Maybe someone lived in your house before, but at the same time they’re starting from a slightly different position, even if it’s your next door neighbor. And then there’s different things that can come up. You might have to go pee at a different time than they did. You might have to stop for food at a different time. You might run into traffic jams. So while we can know that there is a roadmap forward and a way to guide ourselves the exact implementation of our journey, the exact journey is going to be very unique no matter what.

Michelle (02:27):
Yeah, and I know we always say this here, but it truly is also that 1% improvement. Don’t even look at this as like, oh, I’m going to completely do a complete overhaul of my routine. Make it so simple that it seems like almost silly to start there. Start there and then slowly build as you truly create this habit and your routine that fits you.

Cori (02:49):
I love that way of putting it. Build the routine that fits you. Because I think too, when we think about a plan, we think about going on a program not building that program around ourselves. And that’s what ultimately keeps us very stuck, is that we’re trying to force ourselves into that mold and it doesn’t work that way. Balance is an act, right? It’s not just one. Set it and forget it thing.

Michelle (03:14):
Yeah. The best routine, the best plan that you’re ever going to follow, follow is one that’s truly going to fit you because that’s going to be the one that you stick with. You always hear like, oh, I did that for a couple weeks, or I did that workout program for this long, but you didn’t stick with it because it truly wasn’t meaning you where you were at.

Cori (03:34):
And that’s even an interesting thing because yeah, you did it for that long. Okay, but what’s next? I think we have this idea that I’m doing this, this is forever. And it’s like, no, it’s still the plan right now, right? It’s the right turn on this street, not the left. Turn on the next one. And the more you embrace, I’m doing this, okay, what’s the exit strategy or what’s the next phase? The better off you’re going to be because there will be phases and evolutions in building that forever process that sustainable lifestyle. It doesn’t mean doing one thing, it means coming back to the meeting yourself where you’re at right now. So you do this one thing that meets yourself where you’re at, okay, as you progress now, where are you at? You need that reassessment to keep moving forward. So out of this, how do we go about setting an accurate sort of location for ourselves to know how we can meet ourselves, where we’re at to move forward?

Michelle (04:24):
Yeah. You have to first start with knowing your why. What is your end goal? What is it that you actually want to build towards? Because if you’re just pulling out a routine because it’s like, oh, well this sounds like a good habit to start, but you don’t see what you’re building towards or how it’s even contributing to you to get to that end goal, then there’s no reason for you to stick to it. And so it makes it harder to continue that. So really looking at what it’s you’re actually looking for. Why are you even wanting your routine? Is it because you feel like you need a little bit better time management, more energy, more confidence? You’re trying to improve your overall performance? What areas are you actually looking to improve and then build towards that.

Cori (05:10):
I think that’s a key point too. It’s not just your ultimate goal, but the areas in your lifestyle, in your mindset that you’re looking to improve. Because so often we do just put things together that look cool or fun or hard or feel like we’re doing more work or someone else said worked and we don’t assess well that worked for them, but is the purpose for my purpose, does this drive me towards creating something that does build in a sustainable way? Does it meet me where I’m at? We don’t ask those other questions to really assess that balance because it isn’t just our ultimate goal. It is what else do we want out of our lifestyle? Because in order to reach our goal, we’re kind of building a new identity and therefore new routines, new habits, new lifestyle patterns.

Michelle (05:55):
Yeah, just overloading yourself with like, oh, I’m going to do this and I’m going to do this and I’m going to do that, because they can all be good. It can all be like, oh, I’m going to start working out and I’m going to eat this every morning and every morning I’m waking up at five. Those are all can be good things, but does it actually serve you

Cori (06:16):
And does it serve the direction you ultimately want ahead? And I say that too because I think a lot of times we assess what might even be make us happy in the moment, not what will really drive us forward because there will be some sacrifices as we’re really trying to create something sustainable with that long-term vision. But also off of that, it’s so easy to get caught up in when we’re thinking about why the value of it and putting a little guilt trip on ourselves even of, oh, well it’s just five pounds. That’s why it’s not that important. That’s why I don’t stick with these things. So connecting it to a deeper meaning is really key. If we do want to find the true purpose to be able to outline those other changes that we need and value those other changes to some extent.

Michelle (07:03):
Yeah, it’s so easy when things are going to get hard, you’re going to wake up in the morning and be like, oh, I don’t want to do that. But if you have a deeper reason behind just like, oh, you’re going to do this because it sounds good, and it even makes you sound good when you’re telling people what your routine is. But if that’s the only reason you’re doing it and it’s not truly because you have something more deep rooted that makes it harder to rationalize the five pounds or rationalize, oh, it’s a busy day today, I just don’t have time, I can’t prioritize it. That is going to help you stick with it if you can focus more on the process than just the outcome.

Cori (07:43):
Yeah, it is that effort we’re putting in daily and the build of creating a better us, the us we feel we deserve. And I mentioned this too because I do think, and I’ve seen it even on posts that I’ve had of I wanted an aesthetic goal or I have clients, we have clients coming in who want weight loss goals and people will be like, it’s more important the BD on the inside and all these different things. And while I agree, we want to not just focus on one aspect of our life because that doesn’t make us a whole person that’s devaluing what can get us motivated to make a change. And it’s also devaluing the habit changes that go into some of these goals which can pay off in so many ways and it makes us feel guilty or selfish or vain for pursuing them, and we shouldn’t because they will be pushing us outside our comfort zone to achieve things we never thought possible and build the lifestyle that drives us forward in so many other ways. So I only bring this up because a lot of times we think, well, my goal isn’t that deep rooted in my why, and therefore maybe I don’t value it enough to move forward. And I think with those cases, a lot of times we just haven’t looked at all of the ramifications of all the habits that we’re going to put in that we might come for one reason, but stay for another.

Michelle (08:53):
I love that. Yes, because I think that’s huge. Like you said, there’s nothing wrong with having an aesthetic goal. There’s not if that’s your why, that’s not a bad why to have. But as you said, there’s usually that even often opens up doors to other reasons that maybe you didn’t even connect with why that was so important to you. So I think there’s always ways to go a little bit deeper there as well.

Cori (09:19):
And I know we’ve talked a lot about finding your whys, meeting yourself where you’re at, but what is so key in this is also creating a plan off of this that is flexible to be sustainable. So in that when you’re meeting yourself where you’re at, what kind of things do we have to assess with? Okay, I have my value, I have my why now what?

Michelle (09:40):
Yeah, you have to take into consideration what stage of life you currently are in. And I say this because if you’re a young mom, if you’re a mom with older kids, if you’re a mom, an empty nester, or if you just never had kids and you have other obligations with work, if you have different things going on with work and you’re at different stages in your career, these are all things that play into effect of what your routine is. We at least, I feel like oftentimes people put on a pedestal like the morning routine. Well, you want to start your day off great. And I do think there’s always a routine that you should have in your morning, but everyone always pulls workouts into that. You should start your day with your workout. That doesn’t work for everyone. Some of us are at a stage of life where we need to prioritize sleep and maybe that workout needs to happen in the evening or later in the day, and that’s completely fine. That’s where it’s kind of assessing what is really going to help you build your day around your work, around your obligations, around any of those things that you also highly prioritize. Now, we value things differently in different stages, and that’s normal. That’s being human. We are always going to change things and your routine is probably going to change in five years from now. It’s just how it is because we’re constantly evolving. Your routine cannot stay stagnant because you are not staying in the same moment.

Cori (11:09):
And off of that, I would urge you to even think about what have been your common excuses for why you can’t get started or in a groove right now? Because a lot of times those excuses pop up from our priorities. What in our priorities might have shifted? Because if those weren’t excuses prior, what habits and routines are you trying to force based on a different season of life? And thinking about this too, when we think about sustainable, it’s what was comfortable. It is what is comfortable. So if you think about what was sustainable potentially in college or as a new mom versus now as an empty nester, that could be very different things. And if you don’t accept that change is going to have to occur, that’s where we see ourselves not owning our priorities and those excuses popping up even more.

Michelle (11:53):
And I think what you’re even touching on is huge because like I said, I feel like we always think of routine as, oh, that’s just morning. Or we kind of talk about people who have their routines as being boring. No, these people just have non-negotiables that they have set for themselves, and that’s important for you to be able to continue with that consistency in your life

Cori (12:15):
That’s so important. The non-negotiables, and I was even just thinking now about a more recent change in my schedule where I loved working out sort of like mid-morning a few years ago, and that just became unsustainable for me. So I shifted it more to morning. I like getting it done, but this past year I realized that really just didn’t work for my schedule anymore. And so I’ve had to go to the evening when I first started that I very much disliked it. I still can’t tell you that I like it anymore. And I would’ve told you at the beginning, this will never be sustainable. I won’t be able to maintain a long-term. But I knew that the only way to test out if something was sustainable was to give it a chance, which sounds weird because you’re sort of forcing yourself into the sustainability by just doing it, but you have to because you don’t really know what’s sustainable ultimately, until you give it time to become that routine or habit or you change the environment, you change the patterns.

(13:11):
And so by setting this certain time in the evening, by having a specific pattern of eating lunch, dog walk, doing work so that I know I shut off at this time and then go to the gym, there’s patterns I’ve now created where I don’t even know if I like it any better, but it’s just what I do and it’s now comfortable enough that I know I can keep doing it and I won’t miss those sessions. But there’s got to be the evolution in other things to make you want to do that from embracing why you’re doing it, to placing more value on it, to just even understanding that you got to test sometimes to see what does and doesn’t work.

Michelle (13:45):
I love that because you just hit on something really important. You started with one habit, one thing in your routine that you wanted to value, and so it was shifting that workout and then all of a sudden these other things had to be kind of evolved because that was highly valued. So we always say you start with one thing, you start with that 1% change, things will start to evolve to make it so that pattern that you’re creating is easier to follow. That routine becomes easier to follow because you’re aligning yourself with it.

Cori (14:19):
That alignment is important and I think it’s more than just trying to willpower your way through. Tell yourself you value this. Tell yourself it’s important. Say I like it. It’s not just even the workout designed ahead of time, but it’s all those other things in your life that need to fall into place. And mindset is a big one. You have to say sometimes suck it up buttercup. I’m testing this out, align my mindset with going all in on it and not giving myself any excuse not to do it. But out of that mindset then comes other habits where I have a thing of I know at X time I’m exactly going, I know that I’m going be wrapping up so I can’t start another project. Right? Then I have the workout clothes already on, which for me isn’t hard. I wear them all the time, but I have other little things in my routine where I don’t take off my shoes when I come in the house after X time because I want to make sure that I go. And the more we shift that environment, the more we get in alignment from our mindsets to our actions to remind ourselves of the new habit we want to create.

Michelle (15:14):
Yeah, it’s this snowball, the snowball’s happening, and I’m going to say this as well. You even said when you did that, it was hard at the beginning, that first month of you getting used to kind of a new routine, you may not hit it every single day, but the more you do, the more consistent you become with this, just like any other habit, the easier it becomes to, again, you’re aligning yourself with it and all of a sudden it doesn’t feel as hard,

Cori (15:42):
But it’s also remembering why we’re doing these things. No one is forcing me to do that. No one is forcing you to make a change for your goals. You are choosing to, you are doing this for you. And I think that prioritization of doing it for ourselves and that reminder is so key because it gives us choice in it versus feeling restricted, feeling like we have to. It’s creating that mindset of more, I get to do this because I feel I deserve this and this is building the person I want to become with achieving my goals.

Michelle (16:15):
Yes, this is yours. This is your journey. This is what you are focusing on. So I always say too, as we are kind of talking, things build, you start small, you do something for you first. And I think a big part of that, and you kind of touched on it, is even that mindset. How often do we not even recognize that we are doing things for ourselves? But then when you kind of put a label on it like, oh, I’m going to own this. This is my time. All of a sudden you feel like you’ve kind of had a little win for the day. Oh, instead of doing this, I prioritize that and this is for me and that’s my early win. If you can get yourself having early wins in the day, now I’m prefacing this, that’s a win. I’m not saying this is a giant habit where it’s like, oh, first thing in the morning you’re going to go work out. It can be as simple as first thing in the morning. You stave off opening social media for a little while because you’re going to do something else at that time. That’s an early win. If you can do those things, all of a sudden that’s another way to kind of build and be like, alright, I’m doing this for me and now I’m going to move on to this thing. But it requires that recognition that you’re doing it for yourself.

Cori (17:33):
One minute can really add up, and this seems silly, but it’s shifted my mindset where when I make coffee in the morning, instead of going on my phone, I do little loops around the kitchen and just sort of walk around and I’m not trying to really even get steps. It’s more just giving myself that mental space as the coffee is brewing, which takes two seconds with the instant pods, but it’s that little extra for me, right? Win ticked it off. It’s those small things that do build momentum and you find when you start to do more, you kind of don’t want to stop doing more. It’s only once you’re thrown out of that routine that all of a sudden it becomes a lot easier to do more of nothing. So I think that’s really important that we find ways to create that success through being able to check the boxes really quickly.

Michelle (18:22):
Again, just the small wins. As silly as it sounds for me, I do a lesson on Duolingo before I allow myself to open up social media. It’s a small thing, but I feel like, oh, I did something productive before. I’m going to go and see what’s going on.

Cori (18:37):
There’s even been mornings where I’ve been trying to read a little bit more, doing a little bit more continuing education even, and I only have five minutes and to get myself to focus on, not do anything else, I have to go on the treadmill as I do it, not walking at a fast pace. This is not about activity, but it’s about having that restriction on what I can focus on. But there’s been mornings where I’m like, I only have five minutes. I’m not going to do it. It’s not worth it. I’ll do it later. And I’m like, no, I’m still going to do it. And often I actually do find a little bit more time, but even just that five minutes of prioritizing me, even though it’s educational or this or that or other things that pay off, it’s still like, no, I took this time for myself and it’s a win because I know I also stayed consistent with it and overcame something hard. So there’s such a snowball to some of these things beyond just the actual thing we’re doing even.

Michelle (19:26):
Yeah, it’s really like we’ve talked about, it’s really like as you do it, it becomes easier to be like, oh, I’m going to do this now. When I do that, I find it easier for me to be like, oh, you know what? I should really read that chapter in this book now before I do that. And so we always feel like, oh, there’s no time. There’s no time. But oftentimes it’s because we’re not capitalizing on those small moments and having micro wins or micro self-care moments.

Cori (19:53):
Yes. We’re not using those little minutes to add up. So with all this, I feel like we’ve given so many great tips on how to start to build your routine and we want to keep it simple. So going through the steps, and I want you to clarify anything, give me your thoughts, some closing thoughts on all these different things. But we want to set the why and we want to understand why we’re making these changes. We want to understand we have to meet ourself in the season that we’re at right now. So it doesn’t matter what used to work, what could work, what would work right now, and even assessing potentially a little bit what hasn’t worked in the past to know what might not fit. And then starting with something that’s for us that meets us where we’re at. That’s so silly, simple. We could do it today. Thoughts on all of that, Michelle? Summary of how to start making a routine that we really love that ultimately moves us forward towards our goals.

Michelle (20:43):
Yeah, you’ve summed it up perfectly. The main thing I just want everyone leave with is your goal isn’t to grind your way to success, it’s to build that routine that’s going to support you long term. You start small with a core routine that you value and then you layer in those habits,

Cori (21:04):
Love it, core routine. We can then change the exact implementation of that as our needs and goals change. But having those fundamentals in place is so essential. Michelle, thank you so much for jumping in and talking about how to build that routine that we really love because I think it’s so key. Guys would love to hear the habits that you are starting with and even what you’ve gone back to in your why, to assess why your goals really matter to you.

 

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

Expectations VS Reality

Expectations VS Reality

by | Mar 6, 2025 | podcast

Listen:

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast. Everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey. Even the stuff you don’t want to hear, your expectations can make or break your success. How you really manage them can be everything in you achieving the outcome that you want. And I want to share a little story with you because I think this really highlights how our expectations can shape our perception of things and really put us in a mood to move forward, or that emotional sabotage that leads to us giving up on everything. So you go to a restaurant and you go up to the stand and you ask the host is how long it’s going to be? How long a wait? And she said it’s going to be 45 minutes. And so you go back and you’re waiting and you’re waiting 45 minutes, 45 minutes, and all of a sudden it’s 45 minutes and you don’t seem any closer to the top of the list.

(00:49):
An hour goes by and finally you get a table. You are frustrated, you’re hungry, you are miserable. And it’s all because she said it was 45 minutes and you ended up waiting an hour had she told you it was going to be an hour, and then you got the table at an hour or even 55 minutes. All of a sudden, you would’ve been waiting basically the same length of time, but you would’ve gotten in at the time you were expecting, and you wouldn’t have been as frustrated then had you even gotten in earlier, say 30 minutes. All of a sudden, you’re super excited that you even gotten earlier. So it’s not the time, it’s the expectation of how long it will take. And I bring this up, especially when we talk about expectations of how long something will take because especially when it comes to weight loss, we’ve heard, oh, one to two pounds per week.

(01:32):
So if I do the math, I can lose it in this time. We expect progress to be linear, even while we know it’s not, or we expect results a little bit faster because we’ve seen X, Y, and Z person do it on X, Y, and Z diet. But the thing is, that expectation of how we’re going to see results is what sabotages us. We can expect to achieve a goal, but we can not control the rate at which we see progress towards that goal. And the more we try to, the more we stare at that scoreboard hoping for it to change, instead of impacting what we’re actually doing on the field, instead of impacting the habits that we’re doing, the more we’re just going to hold ourselves back. So when you’re thinking about the goal you want and the expectations you have, you need to set expectations based on the things you can actually control.

(02:14):
If you’re expecting to lose one pound per week, well, you can’t actually control if you lose one pound per week. What can you control? You can control how you hit your macros, how you adjust your diet daily if you do your workout routines, if you get moving, if you sleep well, and even sleep I guess is a little bit out of your control, but you can control your sleep routine. Try and set yourself up for success, but you want to expect and have expectations on the things you can actually take action on that will drive the ultimate outcome you want. But expecting a rate of change, expecting an exact outcome in an exact timeframe, well, you can’t control that timeframe as much as you might want to because life will always do its best to get in the way. All we can do is control the actions and mindsets that build.

(03:00):
So as you are setting an expectation, an ultimate goal, I want you to break that down into the habits and actions and mindsets you can actually control today. Because when you do that and then you set expectations on those things, that’s where you gain power to make changes. I expect myself to do this thing today. I expect myself to do this thing tomorrow. And then you can check those things off. You are in control of those actions. Again, you cannot expect the scale to change despite even doing everything you’re supposed to because maybe it didn’t poop that day. Maybe you have a little extra inflammation. There’s so many other factors you can’t control, but you can control your daily habits. So as you’re setting those goals, think about what you’re expecting to have happen and the expectations you can actually control and the ones you can’t. Because the more you focus on expecting things that are within your control to change, the more you’re going to see that momentum build, feel successful with everything, and ultimately reach your goal. Staring at the ultimate expectation and things you can’t control will never move you forward and often sabotage you emotionally so that you fall off and keep yourself stuck in this horrible loop of starting over and never truly gaining momentum towards your goal.

 

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.