There is one thing I think really is what success boils down to and I want to share why I think this…
It actually came off of seeing a variety of responses to posts over the last week and thinking about the commonality in some of the responses across topics.
It’s always interesting to see how people interpret the videos and tips you put out.
I find it especially interesting the range of responses I get – from victims to victors.
The victors always pat themselves on the back for making changes. Finding a way forward.
The victims always use those same life situations to state why they can’t move forward.
And then even if they do pull out a positive, it’s linked to a comparison about how something isn’t as good now as it used to be.
Life happens.
Changes happen.
We lose ground. Lose momentum. Things slide.
But comparing to what was, does nothing to move you forward.
I won’t lie to you even.
You may NEVER get back there.
But you can still move forward.
I think that’s always what I want to focus on.
It’s always what the underlying message of “it’s not your age,” “you can come back stronger from injury,” “menopause doesn’t mean you’re doomed to never have the body you want”….really is.
It isn’t that with age your skin won’t change. Or that it doesn’t become harder to build and retain muscle.
It isn’t that with an injury you may not have to avoid certain movements, especially to start.
It isn’t with menopause that what used to work won’t work anymore.
BUT with all of these things, you can always improve your current situation to move and feel your best.
It may be DIFFERENT than what was. But things can ALWAYS get better if we choose to find a way forward no matter what.
Life constantly throws us events and situations that can easily be seen as obstacles. Because they are.
But ultimately we have the CHOICE to view them as opportunities instead.
Only when we do this can we ultimately move forward.
And honestly, this is the biggest secret I see of people who are successful and get results.
So if I could give you one tip that will allow you to start this mindset of moving forward, it would be…
STOP COMPARING TO WHAT WAS.
We can’t go back. We can’t change the past.
We can’t even focus on just doing a little less than what we were doing prior.
We need to focus on the here and now.
What results are you actually getting from your diet? What macros are you actually hitting?
Not working? Make a change. Just a small one.
Knee pain limiting your running?
Assess what is causing it. Put your running even on hold and focus on rebuilding that foundation.
Address the mobility issues. Activate those underactive muscles.
Then focus on rebuilding your mileage.
Find other fun activities you may even love as well as you do rebuild.
I know it’s easy to want to compare when you may NEVER be exactly what you once were, but life is evolving. Our best selves are ones that are just us moving forward from our current spot.
We talk about how comparison is the thief of joy when we compare to others, but honestly the comparison to some “idealized” time in our past is worse.
So just a reminder of a few things that help me when I find myself comparing that I think of…
1. Where are you currently? (Reminding myself of even the obstacles I have to overcome but in a way I recognize the road ahead not see them as a reason not to move forward)
2. What’s one thing you want to improve right now? (What is my current situation and something that needs work? Not comparing to past fitness levels or situations. What’s one thing I can focus on to move forward today?)
3. What’s one small step forward you can take today? (Don’t base this off what you used to do. What is one thing based off of what you’re doing now you can change? Who cares if it used to work? If it is “good?” It’s not the system you need right now. It’s not based on the mindset you have right now. What can you change in your CURRENT situation to move forward?)
It’s always about that improvement mindset.
The idea that you just should give up because you aren’t what you once were…is that really how you want to spend these years?
Sure you might never be back at a specific point, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still view it as becoming your healthiest and happiest self in that you’re improving from where you are NOW.
This is awesome.
I can totally relate.
I kept comparing myself to myself two years ago. I kept inbody printouts of how lean I was and my fitness score. I finally threw them out. I’ve had injuries and set backs but kept moving. Love this. Thank you.
This is so true and really helpful.. I did a bodybuilding competition in 2012 at 52 years old. Now 10 years later, I’m expecting my body to do what it did then, but I don’t believe I’m doing what I did then to prepare my body to do that. It took eight consistent months (240 days) to make the transformation. And for some reason I played these mind games where I am assuming that if I work out for a week that I should be able to be back to where I was…
Then I play the victim, then I sabotage myself, And became very good at focussing on the negative and not on the positive. That is my work in progress. Thank you for the motivation!
Thanks for sharing your knowledge we us.
YESSS you do! And rocking each and every day moving forward!
Glad it helps!
I think we’ve all fallen into this trap of comparing and then expecting to be back there instantly even though we know how long it took and how long ago it was. I think also in that comparison process we try and do too much too quickly hoping to expedite things. But small steps add up and allow us to get consistent which then truly allows us to move forward. You’ve got this Donna!
Thank you for this. That’s just the situation I’m in now
So timely for me to read this. It makes me reflect that currently I am spending a lot of time lamenting my injuries and such and making it a goal to return to pre-injury and pre-menopausal state. I see that it is a ridiculous mindset and only gives myself more hindrance to getting where I want to be. Thanks for this shift.
Glad it helps Daniela!
So glad it helps! While it isn’t easy, staying focused on our current situation and making changes based on where we are at currently is key. We also have to remember that nothing works forever. Our body is constantly changing, and other habits must evolve as well.