If you want to reach the highest level, you need to be obsessed.
Obsession really just means you’re willing to do what others won’t even when you don’t want to.
And yea sure, there is a dark side to obsession…honestly, like most things in life, there is a downside to them.
But I truly do believe we feared being called “obsessed” for our actions when those that would call us that are always people BELOW us…not those that have achieved more.
Didn’t know you were going to get even more attitude in season 4 did you?!
And I don’t mean that to sound as negative as it does.
We’ve all been in that place where we say “I can’t believe you do (insert thing here we feel we can’t do or don’t “want” to do).”
We do it even unintentionally.
But the simple fact is, to achieve “greatness” in any area of our life, we have to be a little unbalanced.
We have to sometimes stay up late. Get up early.
Skip a drink at happy hour.
But the thing is…we aren’t missing out.
We’re pursuing what really matters.
Life is a constant balancing act. And if we want one thing, there is ultimately ALWAYS going to be something you’re “missing out on.”
Heck you go on vacation and choose to go to the beach for an hour, you may “miss out” on the chance to see an extra sight. Or go on a specific hike.
We’re always constantly sort of sacrificing or trading one experience, one situation, one goal for another.
The key is remembering what we truly want and not being afraid to go after it.
Some things that help me be obsessed, in a good way of course…
#1: Remind myself of why “missing out” is good.
Everything comes at a cost. We just don’t complain about missing out if the cost isn’t too great. So some things are easier to miss out on than others based on their importance or value to us.
You’ll find that at times fueling your obsession is not a struggle. Your passion drives you to do it.
But at other times, well there will be times you feel the sacrifice.
But in that immediate “suffering” I remind myself of how this habit or action will matter long term.
It’s not easy to ignore the immediate gratification.
But reminding ourselves of the benefit of the specific action and not just the “joy” of our ultimate goal is key.
It puts the emphasis on acting right now.
#2: Don’t internalize. Assess where the judgement is coming from.
When someone reflects back an image of ourselves we don’t want to see, when they critique something we may even fear is a flaw, it’s hard not to just internalize the feedback and judge ourselves,
Being obsessed is…well…weird. It’s why not everyone excels at everything.
I would even argue it’s why most of us become elite in only very specific things…what we prioritize we value and practice to get good at…and everything simply can’t be a priority!
So we have to remember to be great at something, we may have to take judgement and, at times, feel like an outsider.
What we need to also remember to do is assess why someone is giving us this critique.
We need to be curious.
And we need to recognize that someone not going through the same thing may not understand.
Because I’m a curious person, when someone tells me something about me that is negative, I’m always curious as to where their judgment is coming from.
I assess their situation to better understand their judgement because I think it helps us filter the critiques.
Everyone is going to give their opinions. Some feedback will be valid and useful…others not so much.
Trying to understand more about who gave it and why will help us focus on the feedback that will actually move us forward.
#3: Find other obsessed people.
Honestly, feeling alone is often the hardest part. I know many of us see ourselves as lone wolves, and will very much want to be on our but sometimes that community of likeminded people, even just another person, can be key.
Having feedback, outside perspectives, people who may have even been there, can often help us get better results faster by avoiding mistakes they may have already made.
I think too, in a world where, being brutally honest, we often too often accept mediocrity for ourselves, being with other like-minded people to fuel your obsession can be key to helping you keep on the path through the ups and downs.
Heck, find people better than you that challenge you even.
Being obsessed means doing things other people don’t understand.
But in pursuit of our dreams and goals, there will be times we will do things we don’t want to do and do things others can’t or won’t.
This pursuit though is what can make you great. Do not fear your drive or hide it!
Realize though that in pursuit of greatest, there will also always be sacrifice. But in life, when we make one choice, we’re always missing out on the other opportunity. That’s just how it works!