So often we are our own worst enemies. Not intentionally but we are.
We’ve all been guilty of this…fighting the process.
We start a program but we keep trying to do things we’ve always done. We keep fighting against the new changes. We find reasons NOT to do them or to keep doing some of the “safe” things we’ve always done.
I’ve asked myself this multiple times.
Why do I struggle to embrace certain changes more than others? Why, even when we’ve invested time and energy and money into something do we fight against actually doing it even though the other isn’t working?
It’s definitely a weird quirk of us humans… repeating the same thing we’ve always done expecting a different result while KNOWING that is the definition of insanity.
But if we want results, we’ve got to STOP fighting the process.
I know letting go of control is hard, I know making a change is uncomfortable…
But isn’t being stuck and frustrated while working hard worse?
Isn’t it better to at least have HOPE and try the suck and pain of change?
I think so.
So here are 3 tips to help you stop fighting the process and better embrace change.
#1: Build Awareness – Compare Habits
I think awareness is the first phase of making any change. If we don’t truly know we are doing something, we can’t change it.
And often I don’t think we are even aware of when we are defaulting back into the old and comfortable. Because well…it’s instinctual and safe.
So I think before starting a new program, we need to make ourselves aware of the habits we may want to default back to and the new ones we want to repeat.
List out the 2-5 new habits you’re working to build and list out the actions you USUALLY have repeated. That you’ll want to default back to.
Post this somewhere you can see and remind yourself of this daily to start.
It can be helpful to post it somewhere you’ll even see when you may be guilty of wanting to repeat those old habits…like say skipping your warm up to get to the good stuff. Or adding in more to your workouts. Or eliminating rest. Maybe you put a reminder in your workout space or on your workout log.
Then at the end of each day, each week, mark your adherence and even when you deviated. It can help you stop reverting back to old habits and truly show you why your results may have been amazing or not so stellar.
So often we think we’re doing the habits just because we started a program, when we aren’t in reality. And then we get frustrated when our results aren’t there. This can often be a practice that shows us the habits really weren’t there either….
So today list out 2-5 habits you plan to start and the ones you’ll have to break in the process…
#2: Realize Your Mindset Is The Problem
Our mind is ultimately in control of our success or our failure. Because if we tell ourselves we “can’t,” that something “won’t work,” honestly…it won’t.
Because we won’t really embrace the changes. We’ll easily allow habits to slide.
We’ll implement things half-heartedly.
So if you want to truly make a change and see results, you’ve got to Act As If you are the person you want to be.
You might hate change, but you’ve got to “Act As If” you like it. You’ve got to find ways to embrace the new systems and processes.
Maybe it’s breaking things down. Maybe it’s understanding the why behind things to know why they’re worth testing.
But you’ve got to find ways to truly MENTALLY embrace the new habits, not just replicate actions.
Because so often when we say we’ll do something just because we’re told to, we don’t actually ingrain the change. We often easily fall back into old patterns.
Now with Acting As If, you aren’t faking things. You’re finding a way to embrace the habits and mindsets of the person you want to become.
This means you’ve got to embrace learning. Find reasons WHY something may work or is worth the test.
Remind yourself of why you want the changes, why you chose the program.
Realize that if you don’t change your mindset toward the changes, you won’t see the results they can bring.
Just remember what your mind believes, your body achieves as cliche as that is.
And if your brain doesn’t want to do the changes, your body won’t either.
Take time today to assess your mindset. What are you truly telling yourself about the new habits?
What are three things about each new habit you want to create that you can find as a good reason to keep repeating and embracing them?
#3: Change Your Expectations
We all come into a program with a goal. Something specific we want to achieve.
And we can define success in binary terms – did we or didn’t we achieve that very specific outcome.
But this honestly holds us back from lasting changes.
Because if we didn’t hit that outcome, we deem the changes a failure and often give up on them even if we’ve learned things not to do and have actually made progress forward.
I’ve seen it countless times, people lose weight doing something but not “enough” weight and give up.
They go back to old habits. Jump ship to try something crazy new.
Just because they didn’t hit their ultimate goal even though they moved forward.
And this is why they end up yo-yoing right back to where they started to ultimately have to start over again.
If they’d instead seen the progress as a win, and kept going, they would have actually achieved their ultimate goal!
We need to change how we view our wins and successes.
Honestly I feel I’ve gotten the results I have because I’ve never thought any program I’ve done was a failure.
Sure were there some that didn’t move me forward toward the goal I’d set for them?
BUT they taught me something that didn’t work for me so I could avoid going after another program that was similar.
Because I learned from each experience, I was able to use each as a building block.
If you just say nope, didn’t work. It was a failure and don’t assess or use it to learn and see that as a win, you’re likely to end up repeating exactly the same mistakes again and again and again.
Change how you view success. If you see it as taking away something that will move you forward, even what not to do, it’s a lot easier to embrace the systems and process.
You realize that embracing the systems IS the win.
So as you even go through anything you’re doing right now, make notes. What makes you feel good? What has been tough? What can you use to make good decisions in the future? What will you avoid in future programs?
Even recognize those small steps forward. Stop overlooking that progress as even though you might not be there yet, that’s still closer than you were to start and you can build off of that momentum!