I definitely come at this from a personal perspective and one of a person who really freaking hated change growing up.
My mom loves to tell stories about how I wouldn’t sleep like a month before school started because I was so nervous about the new year.
And I went from this person who sooooo didn’t like change to a person forced to constantly change it seems like on a daily basis.
I still don’t like it. I like routines and consistency and doing things the way I’ve always done them.
But I also don’t fight change any more.
And I attribute the fact that I have just learned to go with it because I’ve realized why it was such a challenge.
I also own up to my own dislike of it vs trying to downplay it.
But I’ve realized that change is such a challenge because it isn’t really the actions that have to change but the MINDSETS.
And part of making a change is sort of admitting we are currently WRONG in something we are doing even.
The more tied to something we are, the more we view things as right and wrong, good or bad, the harder it becomes to embrace something new.
It becomes hard to shift those very binary mindsets.
It becomes a process of not only embracing new actions, but also new mindsets.
And that means UNLEARNING THE OLD as we LEARN THE NEW.
It’s that unlearning and retraining process of not only the body to some extent but also the mind that is hard.
That’s why I wanted to share a few things I feel have changed my perspective on change and made me a bit more easily adaptable even though I still don’t like it haha
#1: Realize It’s Not Part Of Your Identity
So if you think about what is often hardest to change, it’s things most tied to our identity.
The more we think something reflects on our worth, how smart we are, how people really perceive us, the harder it is often to make a change to it.
The more we perceive something to be part of our worth and identity, the harder it is to change.
But so much of what we act like is who and what we are…well…it really isn’t.
I know it’s why often even diets become religion.
We start to fall into a camp and define ourselves by that camp instead of seeing opportunity in other perspectives.
But the honest truth for most of us is…these are just phases in our life.
We will join many camps. Go through many groups on our journey to self discover.
Most of what we do and the habits we implement aren’t truly who we are, they are different outfits we wear.
So realize that these beliefs, while yes some are your identity, many you shouldn’t hold on to so tightly but embrace as part of your life now, being even WILLING to allow them to change as you learn.
But the more you find that solid identity and realize the other things are just a part of this current situation, the easier it is to shed the things that ultimately don’t serve you best.
The easier it is to unlearn the old while embracing the new!
#2: Realize Things Really AREN’T So Binary – Life is truly an annoying continuum
The most annoying answer when someone asks a question, that I also oddly love giving is, it depends.
And it’s because many things really do depend on so many factors.
Change is also easier when we realize that there isn’t a true right or wrong, good or bad.
There is opportunity in options!
The more we embrace that and see things as an experiment the better off we’ll be.
#3: Set End Dates To Create Change
Too many of us start things thinking THEY WILL BE THE LIFESTYLE we’ve been looking for.
I start things now thinking, “Well this will be a fun experiment. Let’s see how it goes.”
Everything in my opinion now has an end date. A date at which I assess what does and doesn’t work.
Not only does it help me actually better whole-heartedly implement the plan BUT it also helps me embrace that something may need to change or that it may not be the right thing.
And if it does work out?
Then I fully embrace the change as something new and move on to the next experiment. I slowly build and add pieces even to my identity that match…also realizing there will probably be another experiment along the way that tests them.
So much in our life evolves and our priorities will shift.
It’s a good thing.
But we have to realize that we need to be fluid and embrace changes. It doesn’t mean that we don’t take a stand with things. That we don’t have solid beliefs.
We will always filter things through a lease.
But it just means we need to be open to new perspectives.
Because the more we fight changes, and feel like changing a habit is changing our identity, the less likely we are to truly see growth!