You end up pleasing no one. Especially not yourself.

I personally believe we will ALWAYS care about what other people think…it’s how we can actually function as a society.

But we also have to learn to filter what we care about.

We have to learn to recognize when someone gives us an opinion that isn’t in line with what we need or want.

And then we have to be ok with them judging us because we don’t go along with what they believe.

But we have to remember we are doing this to be true to ourselves.

Because whether we make ourselves happy is really what matters long term. You are stuck with yourself. You have to be the one that ultimately lives with your decisions.

I mention this because often when we make lifestyle changes, make sacrifices others don’t understand, we will meet resistance and judgement.

And it can feel awkward.

It can feel awkward to skip the chips or bread. To not have the drink. To pick something “healthy” off the menu.

And while I firmly believe we need to strike a lifestyle balance right for us, at times that does mean NOT eating things that we may have in the past.

And that can bring with it judgement from friends and family.

These judgements so often derail us from reaching our goals.

But I want to discuss how to take ownership and stick to what truly matters most to us.

I want to discuss how to make sure you’re focused on doing what makes YOU happy over just trying to appease someone else….

1: Don’t jump to conclusions about their statement or critique.

So often we think something is negative that isn’t. Or we add a connotation to something that isn’t there because of our own insecurity.

We may feel weird about not having something. Or about picking a healthy option.

Take a second to pause and assess. And even don’t hesitate to CLARIFY what the person meant.

Realize often it really is our own lens that is coloring our interpretation of what they’re saying.

And then, if it isn’t, even try to see the perspective THEY are coming from.

Maybe is it their own insecurities making them say things in certain ways.

2: Reiterate why it matters to you.

If someone critiques me, often in my response back I will remind myself of why what I’m doing matters to me.

It is just that added reinforcement while also trying to educate.

If they call me out for getting something healthy, I may even say…

“Yes, I’m getting something healthy because it will taste good and help me feel amazing tomorrow.”

I remind myself of why what I’m doing is worth it to me.

3: Realize everything comes with a sacrifice.

I don’t think it is bad to recognize that it will take sacrifice to reach a goal.

Nothing in life is about doing what we want, when we want all of the time.

There are sacrifices that come with success.

We are always choosing one thing which causes us to “miss out” on another opportunity and experience.

But the sacrifices are worth it because it moves us toward the goals and experiences we truly want.

I think reminding ourselves that sacrifice is a part of everything is key.

Because then, when we do feel maybe awkward about a decision we are making, we can remind ourselves that this is part of the process of ultimately staying true to ourselves.

It isn’t easy at times to be the person sticking to their macros or not having the drink. But reminding yourself of why this sacrifice is even worth it, can help you stay true to what truly matters to you, over giving into peer pressure.

4: The simple fact is…haters gonna hate.

No matter what choice we make, there is always someone out there judging that doesn’t agree.

By taking any stance, making any decision, taking any action, you are going against what someone else believes.

I think sometimes we just have to realize that not everyone will agree with what we do or believe in it. And that is a-ok.

Sometimes we just have to simply admit we can agree to disagree.

And, at times, we may even have to realize we’ve grown apart from certain people in our life and it’s time to move forward – that, while hard, it is best for both of us.

Do not be afraid to move forward.

Realize that criticism comes from you being successful even!

Question your limitations!

I had a woman tell me that she was told women can’t get the ab definition I was showing in my picture.

I’ve had people tell me they gave up lifting because they were told they simply shouldn’t after x age…

Do not be an Elephant tied up.

I found this story the other day and thought it so highlighted how we can all hold ourselves back or even let things others have told us hold us back….

A man was walking nearby to a group of elephants that was halted by a small rope tied to their front leg. He was amazed by the fact that the huge elephants are not even making an attempt to break the rope and set themselves free.

He saw an elephant trainer standing beside them and he expressed his puzzled state of mind. The trainer said “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them.

As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.

Don’t create your own limitations.

So often we hold ourselves back because of one mistake, one failure, one comment that we aren’t good at something.

We let a barrier that may have even been there before, hold us back forever, never re-testing what we can accomplish.

We let a “false belief” hold us back forever.

We condition ourselves to believe we are bad at something, that we can’t make a change.

But there is ALWAYS a way to improve.

The question is, how can we overcome these self imposed limitations. How can we get ourselves to question and test that rope to break free of it finally?

I want to outline a few key ways we can always keep testing our boundaries and questioning our own limitations.

1: We’ve all heard “You’re only as strong as your weakest link” so keep working on that weak link!

The best way to overcome any limitation is to improve what we aren’t good at, especially if that limitation is something we feel holds us back from accomplishing our goal.

Face the things you don’t like, the moves or tasks that are most challenging head on.

Break them down into pieces. Start by doing the parts you enjoy more or that are easier, but start addressing those weak links instead of running from them.

Bad balance? Work at it. The moves may be uncomfortable but the more you do the more comfortable with them you’ll become. Pick exercises even to start that are closer to your comfort zone.

Over time you may realize your balance wasn’t really bad, you just never PRACTICED it!

2: Realize you can always expand your realm!

Ok so let’s just say you can’t truly overcome a certain barrier. The rope could grow stronger as the elephant did.

You can still take more and more ownership of the realm you have. You can grow that capacity and you can always test it.

Maybe over time you can’t break it, but you may get an extra inch out of it.

The key point is, you won’t know until you’ve tried.

So take ownership of the full area you can and constantly push back at those limits!

It’s the only way to improve even what you currently have for the best potential outcome.

3: Assess why you feel this barrier exists.

We should constantly be questioning our own beliefs. Testing our own limits.

What’s the fun in not improving?

And I think the more we can take changes to reflect on our feelings and beliefs, the more we do realize how many are self imposed or could be outdated!

Think about how many things you were told once early on that, now because of other life experiences, could hold no relevance.

Why not constantly take time to reassess and reflection?

4: Simply force yourself to try new things!

Honestly, every once in awhile, do something that slightly terrifies you. That pushes you outside your comfort zone.

It will make you see how capable you are and may help you even mentally challenge and question other limitations you’ve put on yourself.

Part of life is the journey, the experiences we CHOOSE to have. Realize that by just wanting to improve, we can achieve so much even if we do fall short.

But at least we got the experiences of the trial and learning! And it may lead to something else amazing we couldn’t have predicted!

SUMMARY:

It’s key we are always questioning our own beliefs about ourselves. Assessing our weak links to improve and grow.

There is always more we can do.

Sure it may never be perfect, we won’t ever fully be free of limitations, but we can constantly expand where we can roam! 😉 

See the results you DESERVE and break down those barriers with my 1:1 Online Coaching.

–> Schedule A Consultation

15 Fat Loss Tips To Kickstart Results

Struggling to lose weight? Need that little tip to kickstart your results? Well let me save you a lot of wasted time and effort experimenting to find what works and share 15 fat loss tips tips I’ve found to make all the difference in my results. 

1: Working In Foods You Love First

For me this is dessert.

Often the thing we love most is the least healthy for us so we cut it out first. But we need to do the opposite and actually PLAN IT IN FIRST to work everything else around it and create a lifestyle balance.

When we cut out the foods we love, we sabotage ourselves. Restricting them just leads to us wanting them more and ultimately binging on them and falling off our plan.

Work in the foods you love so you want to stay consistent with the healthy lifestyle you are building!

2: Quality Does, And Doesn’t, Matter

Obviously whole natural foods are best for our health.

But you can STILL overeat healthy foods.

If you’ve been frustrated not seeing weight loss results while thinking “My diet is healthy and clean,” realize that your portions could still be off.

And we also need to stop making ourselves feel guilty for enjoying some not so quality foods as we strike the balance right for us.

Follow the 80/20 rule, consuming whole, natural, nutrient dense foods 80% of the time while still enjoying the not as quality foods you love.

And remember, portions still really matter!

3: It’s Not Forever

Nothing works forever.

While we want to make true habit and lifestyle changes, we need to realize that our needs and goals will change with time and our diet and exercise routines will need to adjust and adapt as well.

You’re building a foundation with the changes you’re making but you can’t get so tied to something you aren’t willing to adjust with time.

Focus on truly LEARNING the fundamentals and basics so you understand how things work for you so you can adjust as you need when your lifestyle and goals change.

4: Keep It Simple, Butthead

It’s so easy to get caught up in all of the options out there. And it isn’t stupid to want to overcomplicate things.

But we do need to keep it SIMPLE if we want the best results. As the more details we add all at once, the more our attention gets divided and the harder we make it on ourselves to dial in the big picture plan, which matters most.

We’re being a butthead, and I mean that as a slight term of endearment, if we start worrying about details like meal timing and supplements and best foods for fat loss before we first simply get consistent with our workout routine while dialing in our overall macros and calories for the day.

So set a few big picture things to start with and get consistent with before you worry about anything else!

5: Stop Overcorrecting

We’re human.

There will be days that don’t go as planned, days we just aren’t motivated, days that we just “mess up.”

But instead of feeling guilty, instead of trying to do more the next day to make up for it, we just need to get right back to those habits.

We need to do what we can as soon as we can to just MOVE FORWARD.

It’s like if we get a flat tire, we don’t slash the other three! Nope. We fix the flat or call a tow truck so we can get moving forward as fast as possible. Don’t make the situation worse.

Don’t try to do more to correct it as that will also often backfire.

Just move forward.

6: Focus On Strength Training Over Cardio

Our workouts should be about more than just burning calories. So while we may burn more calories in a single cardio session over a strength session, this shouldn’t really be our focus.

Training is about becoming functional stronger and moving our best.

And if we want to really improve our weight loss efforts, we need to focus less on how many calories we burn in a single session and more on how we can increase our lean muscle mass to raise our metabolic rate and burn more calories even at rest.

So focus on strength training to actually see better results faster, especially as we get older. Since it becomes harder to build and retain lean muscle, we want to do everything we can to promote better muscle hypertrophy!

7: You Can’t Just Listen To Your Body

We wouldn’t be struggling to lose weight if we could just eat intuitively. Intuitive eating needs to be learned.

So if you’re trying to achieve body recomposition, you won’t be able to just listen to your body and eat according to its cues.

Our body don’t like change and they believe the state they’ve been in, the weight you’ve been at, is normal. So your body will resist any weight loss efforts.

You’ll feel hungry.

There will be mental struggles as you make changes to habits you’ve always done.

But change requires change.

8: There’s No Quick Fix

Plain and simple, change doesn’t happen overnight. And even expecting to reverse 10 years of weight gain in a single year, is truly overnight results.

The longer we’ve had the weight on, the longer we’ve been repeating habits that don’t work, the longer it will take to see changes.

And often the closer we get to our goal, the slower the progress will be especially if we are trying to see true fat loss and not just quickly lose weight on the scale through glycogen depletion and water weight being lost!

So get ready to focus on consistency over doing more to get results faster. We can’t out exercise or out diet time!

9: Recovery Is Key

Often we try to do more by training longer and harder and cutting out more from our diet.

But often the MORE we really need is more rest and recovery.

Those “easy” recovery sessions, when we relax and sleep and de-stress, that is when we are actually repairing and seeing the benefits of our hard training sessions and changes in macro ratios.

Without recovery time, you are just going to keep beating yourself down instead of ever allowing your results to build up!

So prioritize sleep. Plan in rest days. Do that rehab work! It may not “feel” beneficial but it is truly what makes your hard work add up!

10: Avoid Restriction

Often we cut out more in an attempt to get results faster. But all this does is make our habits unsustainable.

It’s what makes us feel like we just don’t have the discipline, self control or willpower to see the results we want.

When really we just aren’t being realistic. We aren’t basing things off of our needs and goals.

Don’t focus on cutting out. First focus on small swaps that feel like the smallest changes and realize there can be a balance.

Even start by doing the MINIMUM, knowing results will snowball.

11: Be Active

The more you do, the more you do. And when we stay active, we often want to do more things that keep us moving in a positive direction.

It’s much easier to get lazy and eat extra crap when you’re just lazing around.

So get moving.

Go out for walks. They’re a great way to burn more fat and get in more movement without stressing your body.

But get active and stay.

Especially the leaner you get and closer to your goal you get, as you’ve been in a deficit for longer, the more your body may actually move less to conserve energy.

Be conscious of this and make sure to make an effort to stay active throughout the day!

12: Macros Over Calories

Macros matter most for sustainable results. The ratio you use may impact the calories right for you and impact how full you feel.

And higher protein ratios can help prevent unwanted fat gain if you are in a surplus while helping aid in muscle mass retention during a deficit.

Actually high protein ratios are the only ones shown to even help you build muscle while in a deficit.

So let your macros then dictate how you dial in your calories. Don’t just focus on calories in vs. calories out!

13: You’re Not An All Or Nothing Person

Often we think if we can’t do everything at once, there is no point in doing anything.

This not only gives us an excuse not to start but it makes us feel like we’ve failed if one thing doesn’t go as planned.

But results don’t happen because of what we do when we are perfect. From doing more for a week.

They happen because we stick with the minimum consistently day after day.

Remember that small changes build. And that the more we can ingrain one habit, the easier it becomes to replicate even on days we don’t feel like it.

So focus on those small changes and set some minimums you know you can hit so results can snowball.

14: Stop Doing More

The simple fact of the matter is, you can’t out exercise or out diet time.

And often the more we try to rush results, the more we simple deplete our self control and willpower so we can’t stay consistent long term.

Many of us have repeated this restriction, binge, guilt cycle.

We do so much, burn ourselves out with the restriction, end up binging, feel guilty, fall off, then can’t get back on track for a bit and even dig ourselves more of a hole to crawl out of.

Focus on small sustainable changes. Realize results simply take time and get ready for the long haul celebrating those daily habits as wins themselves.

And I saved the best for last…

15: Tracking

I know people hate on tracking for being restrictive, tedious, boring, annoying, time consuming, frustrating.

But what we measure, we can manage.

Tracking gives you an accurate picture of what you’re doing both diet-wise and in your workouts so you can make accurate adjustments.

If you want to create the right portion sizes for you without having to cut out the foods you love, you need to track.

If you want to make sure you’re getting stronger and progressing in your workouts, you need to track.

So as unsexy and annoying as it is to start, it truly is the best way to avoid wasting time and know what is and isn’t working!

SUMMARY:

So if you’ve been struggling to see results, start with even just one of these tips as your focus and BUILD. Because the hardest part is getting started and the more you do, the more you’ll want to do.

We just often need to get that ball rolling!

Ready to create your own recipe for results?

–> The 3-Step Recipe For Fabulous Fat Loss Results

I focus a ton on mindset on the podcast because I think our mindset behind things ultimately dictates our success or failure.

We can have all the right tools and never embrace them or take action if our mindset isn’t there to move us forward.

And I think our brain is often partly responsible for our progress stalling.

We THINK we are doing all of the right things, but the reality is…

We often aren’t.

Yes sometimes we just need to stay consistent with everything because results are building and we just need to be patient…our least favorite thing ever…

BUT often we’ve also let little things SLIDE that we haven’t even noticed.

That’s why I wanted to touch on 3 things you want to assess if you’ve been stuck for awhile or feel like you’re even slowly starting to roll backward in your results…

1: Are You Actually Still Sticking With The Habits Consistently?

What does the data say?

Often we get a bit…well…comfortable and lazy as we go through.

In terms of our diet, bites, licks and nibbles sneak in and go unlogged.

Sauces get added with a few extra grams that we shrug off.

An extra day or two unlogged creeps in.

Our portions slightly grow as we get “looser” in our tracking because we feel confident in knowing our portions.

We start to slack a bit on our warm ups and rush them.

We miss a workout here or there more than usual.

Basically, while we are still overall consistent, the habits are beginning to slide.

And we need to help ourselves refocus a bit.

There will always be ebbs and flows. We won’t be able to drive forward at 110% every day all day.

BUT if we are getting frustrated that our results have stalled, we need to assess the little things that may be creeping in and hurting our true consistency.

The consistency that will make things happen faster.

There has to be a balance between long-term adherence and perfection…knowing that the more we are truly “perfect” with those habits, the faster things WILL happen.

So assess where you’ve loosened the reigns a bit. And then determine if you want to tighten things back up to drive forward OR if maintaining right now IS the win.

2: You Need To Make A Tweak.

Achieving a goal is such an interesting balance of staying consistent when you want to give up, yet making enough changes to help you keep pushing forward.

It’s why I think learning the fundamentals is key.

Nothing works forever and our lifestyle is evolving so we need to shift.

And sometimes we need to make a slight change even just because we MENTALLY need that sense of control.

A true plateau is at least 3-4 weeks. Most of us never wait that long with absolutely not change in anything before we make a change or say something isn’t working.

And I get it…I’m not patient enough for that either.

It’s why I set end dates. I make adjustments and slight tweaks in focus.

But I keep the same foundation.

It’s why creating progressions and macros are so key.

You have that plan. The basics dialed in, but you can also make small changes to give yourself the change you need on every level.

Try a different macro ratio.

Try a new move in your next progression or a slightly different workout design.

Heck even design for a slightly different schedule if you’re busy right now and your usual doesn’t really work as easily.

Make small changes to your plan while staying focused on those fundamentals.

Don’t be afraid to tweak but stop randomly switching and adjusting with no set plan to follow and clear end dates.

3: How Are You Determining Progress?

I know we often want a very specific change, but I think it is key we use a variety of metrics to really see results.

Too often I’ll hear someone thinks they aren’t making progress because the scale isn’t changing, but they’ve lost inches.

So while progress may “stall” in one metric, we may see that our results are still accumulating if we analyze another front.

This is key as sometimes we jump ship on something too soon when it is working just because progress isn’t happening in the exact way we’d envisioned.

Recognize too what your TRUE ultimate goal is.

If it is performance changes, not every day will your numbers increase, especially not in every lift.

If it is looking leaner, realize the scale may not change while you’re losing fat.

So while you want to use those metrics to know if something is working, realize you have to assess other parts of your lifestyle and progress in them.

Because sometimes realizing we are moving forward in some aspect can help us stay consistent enough to overcome what we see as a plateau.

CLOSING THOUGHTS:

And while I said this wasn’t fully a mindset podcast, I think it is key to also realize that sometimes we FEEL like we’ve plateaued when in reality maintaining previous results is still moving forward.

Sometimes we need to maintain because we can’t just always have the focus to push forward.

So even embracing those times MENTALLY can be key.

Because what can be seen as a plateau, can be results building. And it can be us creating that new foundation, that new set point, off of which we can build even stronger!

Build the recipe for lasting results without cutting out the foods you love…

–> 3 Step Recipe For Results!

What is your favorite exercise? 

Sumo Barbell Deadlift

What is your personal mantra?

Act As If

What is your favorite cheat day food?

Carne Asada Burritos and chips and guacamole (all of those at once is ideal)

What is your favorite desert?

Rice krispy treats with frosting

What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?

A Margarita – any kind

What is your favorite vacation spot? 

Palm Springs

What is your favorite movie?

I Feel Pretty – Love watching this when I work

What is the most unexpected piece of advice you ever received?

Your passion is a double edged sword was the gist of what Dave, my GM at the first gym I worked at told me. It was an eye opening moment. And I credit it with making me more self aware to realize how my passion needs to be harnessed.

If you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

Step into your fears and face them. You don’t know what will or won’t work until you’ve tried so be willing to embrace outside perspectives as opportunities. BE OPEN!

What is one item on your bucket list?

Honestly I don’t have a bucket list as I could never predict what life has already thrown at me. I just want to see where it goes.

What quote most resonates with you?

Whether you believe you can or you can’t, you’re right.

What is your general outlook on life?

You get out of life what you put in. Nothing will ever go as you expected so embrace the journey and be willing to take risks.

What brings you the most joy?

When I see something with diet and exercise just CLICK for a client….that and drinking margaritas with Ryan anywhere near the beach.

If you could learn one skill instantly, what would it be? 

MMA

If you could eliminate one word from the English language, what would it be?

Can’t

What is your favorite simple pleasure?

That pump from a really good glute burner. No joke.

What is an unpopular opinion you hold?

We can always move forward and improve no matter what. I believe we are ultimately in control. Stuff happens of course that we can’t control, but we still always have a choice in our perspective and how we take actions.

What do you believe is underrated?

Macros. And being open. 

What do you believe is overrated?

Healthy foods – clean eating

What is your favorite thing about yourself?

My awkwardness. And odd decision making skill to live with what I’ve chosen.

What is the oddest way you ever accidentally hurt yourself?

Slipping on a puddle I was trying to jump over in the street in Palm Springs.

What is one trend you wish would come back in style?

Low rise leggings. I have a short torso. High waisted pants go up to my bra.

What is your favorite kind of weather? 

Hot. Sunny. 90 degrees. Basically I don’t mind sweating.

What is your favorite pump up song

Lizzo – Like A Girl But previously Fort Minor Remember The Name (I’ll always love this)

What is your favorite tv show?

The Office 

What is your favorite childhood memory

I honestly don’t know…It’s those in between moments I feel are so special that you remember but they’re not really stories.

Like when my mom told me I had to walk home if I beat her at tennis. She was joking but I think it did make me nervous.

Or like random moments just making meals together. Or car trips to tennis tournaments with my mom when we would just talk about random things.

Those moments that aren’t truly special but just have that FEELING when you think back on them. 

What is your favorite type of workout

Picking up heavy shizzle

What is your favorite food to cook

Uhm…one that is cooked for me!? 3 ingredient peanut butter hershey kiss cookies.

What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten

Probably something at this sushi tasting in Japan, but I wouldn’t know because they served us whatever they wanted.

What movie or tv quote do you repeat the most

Inappropriately – that’s what she said.

Also inappropriately – “I don’t give a flying fart in space” which I couldn’t remember even where that came from.