A psychology professor entered the classroom with half a glass of water in his hand. The students expected the old common question “was it half empty or half full?” But to the surprise, he asked them “How heavy is this glass of water?”

The answers given by the students ranged from 7 oz. To 25 oz. But the professor replied that the actual weight of the glass with water doesn’t always matter but how long you hold the glass is what matters.

If you hold the glass for a minute, you won’t feel much weight. But if you hold for 10 minutes, you will feel a little more weight and it gets heavier for you with hours.

If you hold it for the entire day, then your hands would go numb and pain.

That very light and small and MINOR glass of water will become increasingly heavy.

The same thing happens with our little slip ups and stresses.

The more we focus on them, the more we give them our attention and beat ourselves up over them and focus on them over just learning from them and moving forward, the bigger they become.

We need to learn to let go of the things we can’t change or control while not ignoring them. We have to recognize them, take ownership of them BUT not just dwell on what happened.

Because if we instead feel guilty, let it derail multiple days and throw us off…well the weight of that event adds up.

It gains more importance in our mind. It festers and builds to hold back progress.

It becomes WORSE than it really was.

Do not little mistakes that are mere light glasses of water become things you can barely hold up because you’ve let your mind stay focused on them.

Instead remember that those mistakes only hold weight if we allow ourselves to DWELL on them.

Basically the Moral: You should learn to let go of your stresses and setbacks. If you can do something about it, just do it. In the other case, just leave it and work towards your goals or else it just kills your productivity.

Now What Can You Do To Help Yourself Move Forward:

Consider WHY This Situation Impacts You So Much

Have you ever been in a situation that makes you feel guilty or dwell on it more than you feel you should?

Many of us have.

And at those times, try to step back and consider, even reflecting in hindsight weeks later if needed, as to why it had such an impact.

– Is it something you’re insecure about and it hit a nerve?
– Is it something that had far reaching impact?
– Is it something really outside your comfort zone?
– Did it come out of left field?

Take time to assess why this situation impacted you even more to see what you can change for next time or even use to seek out new guidance or knowledge.

Often when we feel guilty or dwell more on specific things, there is something ELSE going on we could address outside of what actually happened.

There may be an insecurity we haven’t addressed.

There may be outside issues we haven’t recognized.

By taking time to assess these things, we may be able to avoid other similar situations because of this increased self awareness.

Write Down 3 Things You Could Do Differently Next Time

Things happen outside of our control. All we can do is ultimately control our perspective and response.

So even if you reflect and there was nothing you could do to change or prevent the situation from happening, list out 3 things you’ve learned about how to better respond next time.

If you do think you could prevent the situation or reduce the impact in the future, list out those ideas.

The key is to focus on the actions or improvements you could make over the negative things you couldn’t control.

This will help you move forward but also improve.

This is embracing failures as the positive learning experiences they truly are.

They often teach us the most partly because of the EMOTION or PAIN they cause that we don’t want to repeat.

But use that as a chance to reflect over just brushing past them.

SUMMARY:

Failures, stresses, set backs WILL happen. The key is to learn from them and not let our attention be diverted to them longer than needed.

We don’t want to build them up and make them something that actually holds us back.

So focus on assessing why these things may have bothered you and then how you can learn from these experiences.

We have to recognize that not dwelling doesn’t mean IGNORING what happened either!

One of the hardest things for me personally to do is PAUSE. Pause and assess. Pause and learn. Pause and reflect.

I like action.

Honestly I’m prone to working harder wasting effort to just DO something over slowing down to learn and assess.

But the secret to the best results in as short a time as possible isn’t hard work…

It’s efficiency of work.

And efficiency comes from constantly learning, constantly honing your skills. Constantly perfecting your tools and building your resources.

It doesn’t come from simply trying to do more.

Because too often when we try to just do more and work harder, we don’t find the best way to do something.

And we end up wasting a ton of effort.

A perfect example of this is the tale of two woodcutters.

Woodcutter A cuts wood all day, never pausing to rest.

Woodcutter B, on the other hand, at times throughout the day stops and sits down.

At the end of the day, Woodcutter B has cut 3 times more wood than Woodcutter A.

Woodcutter A incredulously asks, “How the heck have you cut so much more wood than me? You rested far more!”

Woodcutter B says, “I wasn’t resting, I was sharpening my saw.”

All too often we don’t want to take that step back to improve.

We don’t want to regress to progress.

We don’t want to slow down and learn something new.

It feels like we’re wasting time. Or slowing our momentum. Or taking a “break.”

But often that step back can lead to a huge leap forward.

Stop trying to rush results by just working harder.

Be willing to pause and sharpen your skills (hehe) and build your resources and knowledge to be more productive.

It will save you a ton of time, wasted effort and ultimately help you move forward faster in the end!

So how can you get yourself to pause at times and do the learning that is necessary to stop working harder and instead learn to be more efficient?

#1: Schedule it.

How often do you actually SCHEDULE that forced step back? Take a look at your workout logs, your food logs, your progress pictures and honestly make notes and compare?

How often do you take that step back and take that bird’s eye view of your habits and changes over the last month, last few months, heck last year?

Too often we don’t step back.

We get caught up in doing.

So schedule it. Every week schedule that weekly assessment.

Put it on your calendar for a specific time each month.

But force yourself to take that pause to assess so you can then make adjustments if they’re needed. Adjustments not out of emotion even but based on what the data is telling you.

#2: Force non-linear progression.

Sometimes it isn’t bad to do something preemptively. And forcing that pause can help you be more efficient.

If you know a time at work is busy, why not take that conscious step back before you’re forced to or before you become so overwhelmed you end up doing nothing?

If you’re starting to show the signs of overload occurring, why not do that de-load week before things truly accumulate and you end up injured?

Or if you’re finding mentally that you’re not as motivated, why not embrace the change of a new macro or going to minimums.

Often less is more.

And sometimes forcing ourselves to pause, even when we don’t feel we fully yet need to or want to, can actually help us jump forward faster. It can help us waste less effort because we just preemptively do something.

It can help us even learn where are weak points are to make them stronger. It can help us learn more about ourselves.

You don’t want to wait till you’re having to do more swings of the axe before sharpening it. You may want to even sharpen it before it fully gets dull.

Same thing goes for our healthy habits. Sometimes we may want to even take that step back before we’re fully “needing” that diet break or new workout progression or rehab. Sometimes we want to do something at the first signs or even potential signs so we can keep moving forward over getting to the point we’re frustrated or want to give up or even in a bad situation.

#3: Learn while doing.

If you’re finding things aren’t progressing like you’d like, why not take the time to learn as you stay consistent over just jumping ship and starting the first program you find?

Too often we get frustrated we aren’t where we want to be and we either just start adding in more, working harder or even completely jump ship to something new, over learning as we’re going to see if there are tweaks we can make or small adjustments.

Sometimes we need to slow down the rate at which we want to do more or put in more effort and instead stay the course as we simply assess.

Then we want to think “How can we exert the minimal amount of effort, make the smallest change, and see the biggest result?

The more we are constantly assessing and seeking to learn as we are doing, the more we can take little chances to adjust small things we’re doing to get a big outcome without having to work harder or work without a break!

SUMMARY:

Working harder can lead to a lot of wasted effort. And while action can feel good and make us feel like we are moving forward faster, sometimes that pause to assess can actually lead to us leaping ahead.

As hard as it can be to stop doing and embrace a bit of learning which can feel like we’re doing NOTHING, that may just be exactly what we need to see better results faster and with a routine that is actually sustainable and doesn’t wear us out!

I think sometimes we WANT a change.

We WANT a new and better result…

But we aren’t truly READY to do what it takes to make a change.

And so we will never succeed no matter how motivated we are.

Now you may be thinking how can I be motivated but not ready?

Because motivation is the DESIRE to do something.

Being truly READY to make a change means you’re in the headspace to make sacrifices. You’re capable of doing the hard.

You’re ready to embrace things that make you question what you’ve always done and challenge you to get outside your comfort zone.

Ready is about more than wishing or hoping for a change…it means you’re prepared to do the hard to get the result.

And all too often the reason we buy a program and never start despite being motivated is because we aren’t ready for the challenge of change.

Because change is hard.

Now if you’re thinking….

“I’m motivated so how do I know if I’m ready?”

I wanted to share some tips I’ve found helpful for clients to take that motivation and let it propel them into being ready to do what is necessary to get results.

Tips To Help You Be READY To Make A Change:

#1: Does the pain of staying stuck outweigh the pain of change?

It’s “painful” not being at your goal. It’s sucky to be unhappy.

BUT it is also super uncomfortable to make a change.

In order to actually want to move forward, it has to be less painful to make a change than to stay stuck.

Now motivation makes you WANT that change, but being ready means when actually faced with the hard you still want to confront it.

So right now make a list of the challenges you will face with making a change to reach your goals.

You may find your motivation starts to fade as you confront the challenges. You may find you’re like…

“Well that sucks!”

But that doesn’t mean you’re doomed.

It just means you may have to ADJUST how you approach making changes to reduce the pain.

Sometimes less is more.

As tempting as it can be to “go all in” that may be creating a pain that is stopping you from truly being ready.

So reduce that pain.

Focus on one or two changes over ten.

Focus on small swaps, little tweaks.

But reduce that pain so you are READY to take that step forward, even if it is smaller than originally planned.

That will help you build momentum to make more changes!

#2: Ask yourself why you TRULY don’t want to stay stuck….

The more reasons WHY you have to do something, the more you’ll be willing to embrace the discomfort of change.

But you don’t only want to list out why you want the change, you want to list out why you don’t want to stay stuck.

This helps create more pain in staying where you are….so you’re more ready to embrace the pain of change.

Also, it’s very hard to feel the value in something we haven’t yet gotten…in something we’ve never attained.

It’s why it is so hard at times to stay focused on our long-term goal over immediate gratification.

You know how that gratification will make you feel RIGHT NOW.

You don’t fully know how you’ll feel with the end result…and you also know RIGHT NOW it won’t help.

So knowing how much our immediate, current feelings can power our actions, we can often really embrace and focus on the WHYs we have to remove our current negative feelings.

The more we embrace feeling how much we don’t like our current position….How little value you feel in staying stuck….

The more we can use that pain as a positive to make us ready for the change.

#3: Realize it is your choice…

Often the more we feel obligated to do something, the more we feel forced or restricted, the less we want to do it and the more we even think about what we can’t or aren’t supposed to do.

If you see making a change as an obligation, as you’re restricted from doing something else, you’re probably going to rebel very quickly.

Instead you want to embrace the changes as your choice. You want to realize you are choosing to pursue this goal.

You even want to see habit changes as what you will GET out of them over what you are removing or cutting out.

No you’re not going to like everything you do to make a change and create a new lifestyle to reach a new goal, but even the sacrifices you make are your CHOICE.

Sure something outside of your control may happen, but even then realize that you get to CHOOSE your response.

At any point you can choose to default back into what is comfortable and easy and hasn’t helped you reach your goals or you can choose to embrace the hard and keep moving forward.

But give yourself the power.

Realize that you aren’t restricting or obligated…you WANT these changes.

This will help you be ready for the ups and downs and even the difficult decisions that will come your way.

SUMMARY:

Getting started making a change is the hardest part and part of that is because we aren’t really fully ready to make a change.

We aren’t prepared for the “hard” that we will encounter.

Instead of letting your motivation fade, instead of buying that program you never start, consider what will help you get ready to actually move forward.

Consider what has held you back in the past. Realize what you need to do to move forward.

And then truly recognize that it is your choice to decide that the pain of staying stuck is worse than the pain of doing something new and challenging where you could risk failure!

Only once we find a way to embrace the pain of change can we actually get moving forward toward our goals!

One size doesn’t fit all and tracking isn’t right for everyone.

And even those that do track won’t use this tool in the exact same way or even forever.

Heck, I was a person AGAINST tracking for a very long time.

I made all the excuses about why not to do it.

And I never saw the results I wanted.

Until I decided to try to see opportunity in a different perspective.

Until I decided to be open to something new and uncomfortable.

I like to really highlight the purpose of any tools we may choose, or not choose to use.

I want us to truly understand them. Because that gives us power.

I think when we don’t understand a tool and its purpose…we don’t properly use them or even know when they aren’t right for us.

I also want to discuss tracking being restrictive because I’m a big believer in NOT giving tools power over us.

When we say we can’t track because it makes us obsessed or judgmental…or it’s too restrictive, we are giving the tracker POWER.

And in trying to avoid something, we are almost giving it as much thought and attention as we do if we just do it.

If you think about it…we can oddly obsess just as much in avoiding as we can in implementing.

That tool still has power even in our avoidance of it.

And that’s not to say we may not choose to avoid using it BUT I think the more we can put everything in its place and realize we are fully in control of our implementation the strong and more in control of our life we become.

So now is tracking restrictive?

The short answer is no.

Your tracker isn’t judging. It isn’t telling you to cut anything out. It isn’t telling you to do or feel anything.

It is merely showing you what you’ve done.

YOU are the one then judging.

And I think the more we realize that we are the one giving this tool power, the better off we will be.

I also think it is key we understand WHY we’ve come to feel that tracking is restrictive.

I find it is often because of how we’ve used the tool in the past.

We did it on some severe calorie counting diet where we felt forced to cut out everything we loved, felt overwhelmed with making changes and then felt hungry all of the time.

Often it is these other things and the program/habits we were implementing that then made us have this perception of tracking.

But tracking your food isn’t just about cutting things out. It isn’t just about weight loss.

And if you had started with tracking because of another goal, you may not feel that it is restrictive.

But it’s not too late to ever change that mindset.

#1: Try just tracking what you’re currently doing. Use it its a chance to LEARN about your diet and portions. Don’t make changes.

#2: Realize there are other goals that tracking could be key for…

– Finding out food sensitivities
– Fueling your race so you have enough energy to not poop out at the last mile
– Making sure you’re addressing menopausal symptoms.
– Making sure you’re eating enough to build muscle
– Finding out emotional eating triggers
– Heck even making sure you aren’t RESTRICTING TOO MUCH AND EATING TOO LITTE

Yup…even with trying to lose weight, I find that there are times with tracking a client realizes they are UNDER fueling.

They were restricting too much out of fear because they didn’t have a clear vision of what they were doing.

Honestly, there are so many ways to become obsessive…

– Over training
– Having to burn a certain amount of calories on your watch
– Only eating certain foods
– Not eating certain foods
– Only eating at certain times of day
– Not eating at specific times of day…

The point is it all relates back to our perspective and perception of our habits and how they make us feel.

And while you may decide something isn’t right for you…don’t give it control.

Learn how to implement it and see the VALUE it could have so you can reap the rewards then move forward better.

The more we fear something, the more control it has over us even if we don’t do it.

So as much as I know we can feel tracking is restrictive, we can fear becoming obsessive, realize you give the tool the power.

Take back that power and see it as a chance to make sure you’re fueling according to your needs and goals.

Try just tracking what you’re currently eating. Assess WHY YOU JUDGE or when you feel yourself starting to judge.

Then deal with that judgement.

Ask yourself why you feel guilty for eating a food?

Assess the emotions if you start to feel restricted…even assess if you’re trying to do too much.

Give yourself clear guidelines and find ways to seeing the value.

Sure you may not do it forever, but see it as the tool it is…a guide to better fuel yourself according to whatever goals you have!

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