I definitely come at this from a personal perspective and one of a person who really freaking hated change growing up.

My mom loves to tell stories about how I wouldn’t sleep like a month before school started because I was so nervous about the new year.

And I went from this person who sooooo didn’t like change to a person forced to constantly change it seems like on a daily basis.

I still don’t like it. I like routines and consistency and doing things the way I’ve always done them.

But I also don’t fight change any more.

And I attribute the fact that I have just learned to go with it because I’ve realized why it was such a challenge.

I also own up to my own dislike of it vs trying to downplay it.

But I’ve realized that change is such a challenge because it isn’t really the actions that have to change but the MINDSETS.

And part of making a change is sort of admitting we are currently WRONG in something we are doing even.

The more tied to something we are, the more we view things as right and wrong, good or bad, the harder it becomes to embrace something new.

It becomes hard to shift those very binary mindsets.

It becomes a process of not only embracing new actions, but also new mindsets.

And that means UNLEARNING THE OLD as we LEARN THE NEW.

It’s that unlearning and retraining process of not only the body to some extent but also the mind that is hard.

That’s why I wanted to share a few things I feel have changed my perspective on change and made me a bit more easily adaptable even though I still don’t like it haha

#1: Realize It’s Not Part Of Your Identity

So if you think about what is often hardest to change, it’s things most tied to our identity.

The more we think something reflects on our worth, how smart we are, how people really perceive us, the harder it is often to make a change to it.

The more we perceive something to be part of our worth and identity, the harder it is to change.

But so much of what we act like is who and what we are…well…it really isn’t.

I know it’s why often even diets become religion.

We start to fall into a camp and define ourselves by that camp instead of seeing opportunity in other perspectives.

But the honest truth for most of us is…these are just phases in our life.

We will join many camps. Go through many groups on our journey to self discover.

Most of what we do and the habits we implement aren’t truly who we are, they are different outfits we wear.

So realize that these beliefs, while yes some are your identity, many you shouldn’t hold on to so tightly but embrace as part of your life now, being even WILLING to allow them to change as you learn.

But the more you find that solid identity and realize the other things are just a part of this current situation, the easier it is to shed the things that ultimately don’t serve you best.

The easier it is to unlearn the old while embracing the new!

#2: Realize Things Really AREN’T So Binary – Life is truly an annoying continuum

The most annoying answer when someone asks a question, that I also oddly love giving is, it depends.

And it’s because many things really do depend on so many factors.

Change is also easier when we realize that there isn’t a true right or wrong, good or bad.

There is opportunity in options!

The more we embrace that and see things as an experiment the better off we’ll be.

#3: Set End Dates To Create Change

Too many of us start things thinking THEY WILL BE THE LIFESTYLE we’ve been looking for.

I start things now thinking, “Well this will be a fun experiment. Let’s see how it goes.”

Everything in my opinion now has an end date. A date at which I assess what does and doesn’t work.

Not only does it help me actually better whole-heartedly implement the plan BUT it also helps me embrace that something may need to change or that it may not be the right thing.

And if it does work out?

Then I fully embrace the change as something new and move on to the next experiment. I slowly build and add pieces even to my identity that match…also realizing there will probably be another experiment along the way that tests them.

SUMMARY:

So much in our life evolves and our priorities will shift.

It’s a good thing.

But we have to realize that we need to be fluid and embrace changes. It doesn’t mean that we don’t take a stand with things. That we don’t have solid beliefs.

We will always filter things through a lease.

But it just means we need to be open to new perspectives.

Because the more we fight changes, and feel like changing a habit is changing our identity, the less likely we are to truly see growth!

Motivation is fleeting. When we are just motivated other things easily take priority. We do things when they are convenient for us.

Now discipline…

When we are disciplined, no matter what else is going on in our life…well we do the things we should anyway.

But how do you become disciplined?

I think there are a few key components to discipline…

#1: Priorities

What we value, we find time to do.

If a change is a priority to us, we are going to find a way to make those changes and keep implementing them.

So if we value a new habit, an ultimate goal, we are going to find a way.

But then the question also arises, how do you make something new a priority when you have so many other things in your life going on.

1. I think we need to recognize that getting started is the hardest part. That if you can prioritize something new to start eventually it WON’T take as much thought to do.
2. We can base changes off our current lifestyle.
3. We can put the NEW first.
4. We can realize how this new goal ADDS to the other components of our life we value.
5. We can set motivation end dates and really understand WHY this new things deserves our full attention.

#2: Habits

Discipline boils down to habits.

But habits aren’t easy to change as it isn’t just learning a new way of doing things, it’s unlearning the old instinctual ways of doing things too.

And all new habits often feel weird because they aren’t what we are naturally doing. What we are naturally wanting to do is what we’ve always done.

And motivation is what gets us started. But to keep doing the habits, we need to truly VALUE them.

We need to know WHY they are important.

We also need to have made them small enough that we aren’t just constantly trying to out willpower everything.

Life is going to get in the way.

The more we’ve found ways to even just start implementing the minimum, the better.

While we may feel like all or nothing people, we need to realize that doing too much at once relies on willpower and motivation which won’t last.

We need to find ways to create habit changes we can easily replicate. Habits that keep us disciplined!

#3: Mindsets

Whether it is setting priorities or creating new habits, everything relates back to our mindset.

If we want a change, we have to truly embrace the changes, not slightly fight against them.

Not do one action but think something else.

We have to value them and understand why they are necessary.

We can’t for long just force ourselves to do something because we should or someone else said it was good.

We need to VALUE what we are doing.

That means BELIEVING in the changes you are going to make. It means BELIEVING in the habits. It means believing there is a greater purpose to what you’re doing.

Discipline comes from having a purpose. The mindset that you will do these things because that is the person you are. These things are things you value and the overall goal is the most important thing even over momentary discomfort.

So as you seek to make changes, as you want to find a way to do something ANYWAY even when you aren’t motivated, you need to find ways to create discipline! 

We all do this…

We say “It won’t work.”

“I can’t do…”

“I’ll never be able to…”

“I’ll get turned down….”

But we don’t actually “KNOW” what the outcome will be because we’ve never actually done the thing or tried to find a way around the situation.

And I do understand we don’t have to try everything to know that some ideas are good or bad…

Like jumping off a cliff…

BUT I also think too often we write something off before we test it.

We think we know the answer BUT we don’t actually know if we haven’t tried something!

Sometimes we NEED to try it and fail to truly know whether or not it will work for us!

Sometimes you’ve got to test something!

It’s so funny how we avoid taking the risk when it feels like there could be embarrassment or failure.

So funny how we won’t do that with things that feel too intimidating yet someone will tell us a plate is hot and we’ll touch it to test….don’t know if we don’t try right?! Haha

We draw our own lines.

We DECIDE what is or isn’t worth the risk.

We decide what we do or do NOT know until we’ve tried.

Which got me to thinking, when faced with my own situation of not wanting to do something because I had the thought of “it probably wouldn’t work” how I could get myself to take the risk anyway….

Because I didn’t really know. And wouldn’t know for sure unless I tried…

So this is what helped me dive in, put myself out there, and well…now wait and see as to how it truly all panned out…

#1: Question Why You Don’t Want To Do It

– Is there really a risk to this? Or is it just fear of failure?
– Why don’t you believe you can accomplish this task or thing?
– Will there be no value in the experience itself?

#2: Remember Risk Brings Learning

– Think of what you can learn even from failing – failures are often the best learning experiences
– Stepping outside your comfort zone is key
– Change requires change and growth is only achieved with risk

#3: Remember You Get More Comfortable The More You Do It

– Doing something new is hard – but the more we take on situations like this, the more comfortable we get being uncomfortable in that way
– By doing you can learn better ways to improve your success
– This will allow you to even seek out educational opportunities to address things you now realize you don’t know!

So it’s interesting the words that illicit not so favorable responses from people.

Like beginner for instance.

No one wants to be called a beginner, which I find amusing as I always want to own up to being a beginner at something. It means I have an excuse to suck at it.

Honestly I try to act like a beginner in most things because I feel I can always master something more or better.

But beginner is a word I’ve found many see as an insult.

And oddly enough, accountability is a word just like that.

A few times when messaging with people I’ve asked, “So are you looking for maybe more accountability and coaching?”

And I swear I could see their looks through my phone screen as I read their messages back that had some form of this laced in with everything else….

“I don’t need any accountability. I’m just not sure what to do but I’m very motivated and dedicated and don’t need someone to hold me accountable.”

They never called out the coaching.

Just the accountability part.

As if wanting outside accountability was a bad thing.

Shoot…I do my best to create outside accountability for myself in as many ways as possible.

I feel the more I have that outside accountability, since I don’t want to fail publicly the more I’ve guaranteed myself success.

I don’t see having extra accountability as me not being motivated or me needing help.

I see it as me caring so much I make sure I do everything in my power to succeed.

For me accountability is essential. Not something to dismiss. Or something that makes me less of a badass who can do everything all at once.

So as much as I’ve sort of avoided using this word with people, I want to take it back.

I want to share a few ways I personally hold myself accountable and believe it really is often the missing piece in our success no matter how driven, motivated, freaking badass rockstar we are….

#1: Plan Ahead

I’m definitely a checklist maker and a box checker off-er.

When I know I have something to mark complete, I’m going to make sure I do it.

I know if I have a plan I’m supposed to complete, I’m going to make myself stick to it.

If I have no clear plan in place, it is soooooo much easier to just skip the same habits a plan would hold me to.

Yup. That plan and knowing what I SHOULD be doing makes me do it.

Sometimes all we need to keep ourselves consistent and hold ourselves accountable is something pre-planned out. It helps us stick to the healthy habits and routines even on those busy days we wouldn’t do anything if there wasn’t something there sort of taunting us to do.

It’s why I pre-plan out meals at times when I know I’ll be busy and short on time even though I’m well versed in how to hit my ratios.

It’s why I never leave my workout progression programming till the day of but have it planned out at least a week in advance.

It’s not that I don’t give myself flexibility, and often have a plan b, but even then…I have a plan b already mapped out as I know SOMETHING is better than nothing.

But having a plan in place adds that extra personal accountability and it gives us a better way to even track results and know what is and isn’t working!

#2: Get Coaches For My Weak Points

It’s hard to believe it, but yes, even I have weak points. Ok I couldn’t resist that joke…which maybe is my biggest weak point…

But I think it’s key we have that outside perspective on things at times. That person to guide us and even highlight weakness, or strengths, that we didn’t know we have.

Honestly it can even be just fun to learn! And that accountability of knowing they are checking in on you and there for you to ask questions of if you get overwhelmed.

It’s not admitting weakness to “need” someone else.

Honestly it takes strength to recognize that you can go further with some support and guidance.

Not to mention when you know someone is checking in…well at least I find I do a little bit extra just so I know I can have something to report!

Plus it just helps you get out of your own way, looking at things the way you’ve always done!

#3: Share My Goals

This one honestly has been the hardest for me because I am more internally than externally motivated. I get very awkward turtle honestly with praise.

BUT I think making our goals public gives us extra incentive to not give up on them.

It definitely I think was the piece that pushed me to actually succeed at my first ever big photoshoot cut.

I let my clients even know what I was doing at the gym.

And when I saw them in classes or texted them about how they were doing, I didn’t want to have to report I’d slipped up or skipped anything.

We don’t like public failure.

It’s why often we DON’T want to share our goals.

But slip ups and mistakes aren’t failures. They are just a part of the ups and downs.

And having people that know your goals…well they aren’t going to judge your ups and downs. Honestly, they’ll probably give you the fist bump you need to keep moving forward and celebrate your small wins more than you do!

So between the desire NOT to fail publicly and the amazing support you’ll receive if you do share with those friends that share your vision…well that accountability may be just want you need to finally push past your sticking point!

#4: Set Appointments And Events

This can mean setting an end date to add motivation and accountability because you have a deadline that incentivizes you to start now and keep going or it can even be weekly events that you feel “obligated” to go to.

For the longest time I avoided setting personal coaching sessions or classes or such because I didn’t want a schedule. But I realized this was just a way mentally to let myself off the hook for actually committing to learning something new.

Because I wouldn’t miss something that A. Another person’s schedule would be impacted if I changed and B. I wouldn’t miss something that was pre-planned.

So I knew I would have to go. It was the ultimate accountability having that appointment.

And you can honestly do this with even your personal workouts and a google calendar alert.

The point is, knowing there is that set time you’re supposed to do something, especially if it can be with someone else, you are faaaar more likely to stick with that schedule.

Just make sure to pick someone equally motivated to stick with that routine so you aren’t a bad influence on each other!

#5 Get Other People Involved

This not only relates back to coaching and sharing your goals but also to #4, the appointments.

We often are more likely not to back out of things that impact someone else.

If you’re meeting a friend at the gym, you don’t want to mess up their day or schedule. You don’t want to hold them back.

If you have a private coaching sessions, you don’t want to negatively impact your coaches day.

Having other people involved supporting you and even holding you to your schedule can be key!

SUMMARY:

We all need accountability and the more forms of it the better. It means we care not that we aren’t internally driven.

Honestly, I see it as I’m so driven I want to guarantee my success.

So let’s make this word something positive. Accountability is KEY.

What do you do to hold yourself accountable?!

And if you’re ready to have that custom plan and outside accountability to build your leanest, strongest body no matter your age, here’s more on my 1:1 Coaching!

There is one thing I think really is what success boils down to and I want to share why I think this…

It actually came off of seeing a variety of responses to posts over the last week and thinking about the commonality in some of the responses across topics.

It’s always interesting to see how people interpret the videos and tips you put out.

I find it especially interesting the range of responses I get – from victims to victors.

The victors always pat themselves on the back for making changes. Finding a way forward.

The victims always use those same life situations to state why they can’t move forward.

And then even if they do pull out a positive, it’s linked to a comparison about how something isn’t as good now as it used to be.

Life happens.

Changes happen.

We lose ground. Lose momentum. Things slide.

But comparing to what was, does nothing to move you forward.

I won’t lie to you even.

You may NEVER get back there.

But you can still move forward.

I think that’s always what I want to focus on.

It’s always what the underlying message of “it’s not your age,” “you can come back stronger from injury,” “menopause doesn’t mean you’re doomed to never have the body you want”….really is.

It isn’t that with age your skin won’t change. Or that it doesn’t become harder to build and retain muscle.

It isn’t that with an injury you may not have to avoid certain movements, especially to start.

It isn’t with menopause that what used to work won’t work anymore.

BUT with all of these things, you can always improve your current situation to move and feel your best.

It may be DIFFERENT than what was. But things can ALWAYS get better if we choose to find a way forward no matter what.

Life constantly throws us events and situations that can easily be seen as obstacles. Because they are.

But ultimately we have the CHOICE to view them as opportunities instead.

Only when we do this can we ultimately move forward.

And honestly, this is the biggest secret I see of people who are successful and get results.

So if I could give you one tip that will allow you to start this mindset of moving forward, it would be…

STOP COMPARING TO WHAT WAS.

We can’t go back. We can’t change the past.

We can’t even focus on just doing a little less than what we were doing prior.

We need to focus on the here and now.

What results are you actually getting from your diet? What macros are you actually hitting?

Not working? Make a change. Just a small one.

Knee pain limiting your running?

Assess what is causing it. Put your running even on hold and focus on rebuilding that foundation.

Address the mobility issues. Activate those underactive muscles.

Then focus on rebuilding your mileage.

Find other fun activities you may even love as well as you do rebuild.

I know it’s easy to want to compare when you may NEVER be exactly what you once were, but life is evolving. Our best selves are ones that are just us moving forward from our current spot.

We talk about how comparison is the thief of joy when we compare to others, but honestly the comparison to some “idealized” time in our past is worse.

So just a reminder of a few things that help me when I find myself comparing that I think of…

1. Where are you currently?  (Reminding myself of even the obstacles I have to overcome but in a way I recognize the road ahead not see them as a reason not to move forward)
2. What’s one thing you want to improve right now? (What is my current situation and something that needs work? Not comparing to past fitness levels or situations. What’s one thing I can focus on to move forward today?)
3. What’s one small step forward you can take today? (Don’t base this off what you used to do. What is one thing based off of what you’re doing now you can change? Who cares if it used to work? If it is “good?” It’s not the system you need right now. It’s not based on the mindset you have right now. What can you change in your CURRENT situation to move forward?)

It’s always about that improvement mindset.

The idea that you just should give up because you aren’t what you once were…is that really how you want to spend these years?

Sure you might never be back at a specific point, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still view it as becoming your healthiest and happiest self in that you’re improving from where you are NOW.