So often we are our own worst enemies. Not intentionally but we are.

We’ve all been guilty of this…fighting the process.

We start a program but we keep trying to do things we’ve always done. We keep fighting against the new changes. We find reasons NOT to do them or to keep doing some of the “safe” things we’ve always done.

Why?

I’ve asked myself this multiple times.

Why do I struggle to embrace certain changes more than others? Why, even when we’ve invested time and energy and money into something do we fight against actually doing it even though the other isn’t working?

It’s definitely a weird quirk of us humans… repeating the same thing we’ve always done expecting a different result while KNOWING that is the definition of insanity.

But if we want results, we’ve got to STOP fighting the process.

I know letting go of control is hard, I know making a change is uncomfortable…

But isn’t being stuck and frustrated while working hard worse?

Isn’t it better to at least have HOPE and try the suck and pain of change?

I think so.

So here are 3 tips to help you stop fighting the process and better embrace change.

#1: Build Awareness – Compare Habits

I think awareness is the first phase of making any change. If we don’t truly know we are doing something, we can’t change it.

And often I don’t think we are even aware of when we are defaulting back into the old and comfortable. Because well…it’s instinctual and safe.

So I think before starting a new program, we need to make ourselves aware of the habits we may want to default back to and the new ones we want to repeat.

List out the 2-5 new habits you’re working to build and list out the actions you USUALLY have repeated. That you’ll want to default back to.

Post this somewhere you can see and remind yourself of this daily to start.

It can be helpful to post it somewhere you’ll even see when you may be guilty of wanting to repeat those old habits…like say skipping your warm up to get to the good stuff. Or adding in more to your workouts. Or eliminating rest. Maybe you put a reminder in your workout space or on your workout log.

Then at the end of each day, each week, mark your adherence and even when you deviated. It can help you stop reverting back to old habits and truly show you why your results may have been amazing or not so stellar.

So often we think we’re doing the habits just because we started a program, when we aren’t in reality. And then we get frustrated when our results aren’t there. This can often be a practice that shows us the habits really weren’t there either….

So today list out 2-5 habits you plan to start and the ones you’ll have to break in the process…

#2: Realize Your Mindset Is The Problem

Our mind is ultimately in control of our success or our failure. Because if we tell ourselves we “can’t,” that something “won’t work,” honestly…it won’t.

Because we won’t really embrace the changes. We’ll easily allow habits to slide.

We’ll implement things half-heartedly.

So if you want to truly make a change and see results, you’ve got to Act As If you are the person you want to be.

You might hate change, but you’ve got to “Act As If” you like it. You’ve got to find ways to embrace the new systems and processes.

Maybe it’s breaking things down. Maybe it’s understanding the why behind things to know why they’re worth testing.

But you’ve got to find ways to truly MENTALLY embrace the new habits, not just replicate actions.

Because so often when we say we’ll do something just because we’re told to, we don’t actually ingrain the change. We often easily fall back into old patterns.

Now with Acting As If, you aren’t faking things. You’re finding a way to embrace the habits and mindsets of the person you want to become.

This means you’ve got to embrace learning. Find reasons WHY something may work or is worth the test.

Remind yourself of why you want the changes, why you chose the program.

Realize that if you don’t change your mindset toward the changes, you won’t see the results they can bring.

Just remember what your mind believes, your body achieves as cliche as that is.

And if your brain doesn’t want to do the changes, your body won’t either.

Take time today to assess your mindset. What are you truly telling yourself about the new habits?

What are three things about each new habit you want to create that you can find as a good reason to keep repeating and embracing them?

#3: Change Your Expectations

We all come into a program with a goal. Something specific we want to achieve.

And we can define success in binary terms – did we or didn’t we achieve that very specific outcome.

But this honestly holds us back from lasting changes.

Because if we didn’t hit that outcome, we deem the changes a failure and often give up on them even if we’ve learned things not to do and have actually made progress forward.

I’ve seen it countless times, people lose weight doing something but not “enough” weight and give up.

They go back to old habits. Jump ship to try something crazy new.

Just because they didn’t hit their ultimate goal even though they moved forward.

And this is why they end up yo-yoing right back to where they started to ultimately have to start over again.

If they’d instead seen the progress as a win, and kept going, they would have actually achieved their ultimate goal!

We need to change how we view our wins and successes.

Honestly I feel I’ve gotten the results I have because I’ve never thought any program I’ve done was a failure.

Sure were there some that didn’t move me forward toward the goal I’d set for them?

Yup.

BUT they taught me something that didn’t work for me so I could avoid going after another program that was similar.

Because I learned from each experience, I was able to use each as a building block.

If you just say nope, didn’t work. It was a failure and don’t assess or use it to learn and see that as a win, you’re likely to end up repeating exactly the same mistakes again and again and again.

Change how you view success. If you see it as taking away something that will move you forward, even what not to do, it’s a lot easier to embrace the systems and process.

You realize that embracing the systems IS the win.

So as you even go through anything you’re doing right now, make notes. What makes you feel good? What has been tough? What can you use to make good decisions in the future? What will you avoid in future programs?

Even recognize those small steps forward. Stop overlooking that progress as even though you might not be there yet, that’s still closer than you were to start and you can build off of that momentum!

It’s a Monday. A new month. A New Year.

We tell ourselves we’re “starting over” yet again.

But we aren’t starting over.

We’re just moving forward.

Life doesn’t stop. Doesn’t pause…unless you’re dead….

Everything we’ve done prior is still there and still impacts our current situation.

Starting over hints at a clean slate.

But that isn’t the case.

I mention this because so often we sort of dig ourselves a deeper hole over a weekend or a week or an extended prior of time because of plans to “start over,” only to ultimately make it harder and harder on ourselves to move forward.

We need to stop this horrible cycle.

We need to remind ourselves that life doesn’t pause.

That the only way to get results is to find a way forward even when times aren’t ideal.

If we aren’t doing something to move forward, we’re losing progress.

And the thing is…that only makes where we’re “starting over” from worse.

That’s why I wanted to share 3 tips to help you get out of that pause and start over mentality to see that you can do something to keep yourself moving forward to RAMP UP when you’re motivated.

Because that is truly what we’re doing…not starting over but RAMPING UP!

Tip #1: Stop Expecting Perfection. Seek To Learn

I don’t care how amazing you are, you’re not perfect.

And you’re never going to be.

And that’s not a bad thing.

But we need to stop expecting a perfect time in life where everything is going to go right and we are never going to mess up or slip up on a habit or routine.

Because there will always be deviations.

And it isn’t so much the mistakes that hold us back.

Nope!

They can be valuable learning lessons, sometimes even the best learning lessons, if we allow them to be.

Instead too often we make ourselves feel GUILTY about the mistake.

We feel guilty we aren’t perfect.

And this holds us back. It makes us feel the need to “start over.”

It makes us feel like we have to pause our workout routine or program because we can’t do it perfectly.

But all that ultimately does is dig that hold. Make us quit on something that may have been working.

It prevents us from LEARNING from the experiences to move forward faster ultimately.

I think going in, the more we can admit there will be mistakes and even embrace them for the learning they can provide, the more we will move forward even when we feel like we’ve made a mistake that has set us back!

Tip #2: Set Minimums. You Won’t Always Be Motivated.

I say this often but we need to at time embrace doing the minimum.

I know many of us feel that if we can’t go all out, do things 110% they aren’t worth doing.

But that holds us back from taking even small steps forward as we’re able to capitalize on later.

The simple fact is, life often will try to get in the way. And we won’t always be motivated.

But we can still move forward to lay that foundation in these times by setting minimums.

And by staying on these minimums we can often CREATE motivation. We can CREATE a better situation.

Instead of digging ourselves a hole.

So if you feel like you need to pause your program, you need to start over another day that is better, instead find one thing you can keep doing.

Sure it may not be ideal, but you’ll be surprised by how much it prevents you from going backward.

How much it even helps you get back on track faster.

The more you do, the more you do. Keep that momentum moving forward.

And remember that small steps forward are still steps forward!

Tip #3: Catch Yourself In The Act

I think the pausing a program, quitting to start over mindset, is so ingrained in many of us, we don’t fully realize we are doing it.

Heck going into this last holiday season I saw it come out strong in myself.

Healthy habits wanted to slide since I was planning to test out some new stuff anyway in the New Year.

I mean…if I have all of this stuff coming up anyway….

And I caught myself in the act of making the excuse.

When I realized it, I started to set minimums.

Sure I may have to slightly adjust my workout schedule.

What could I have ready for those times I needed something quick or wasn’t motivated? What may be more “fun” even if it wasn’t ideal?

And sure, maybe there would be lots of days it would be harder to hit specific macros…

But I could still track. I could still set a calorie cap. A protein minimum.

I could still focus on dialing in meals around ones I wasn’t in control of.

There is so much within our power to change and control. We need to see those opportunities.

And that starts with catching ourselves in the act of thoughts and actions that don’t move us forward.

We can only change something when we start to catch ourselves in the act of doing it.

So as you’re making changes, if you find yourself saying you want to pause something or start over, STOP that thought and give yourself one thing you can still do that day even if it isn’t ideal.

What drives us to make a change?

Pain.

Pain is an incredibly powerful motivator.

And by pain I mean also often FEAR.

It’s an odd thing, but we humans are truly more driven by pain than by gain.

We may want a specific outcome, a specific positive…

But we are most likely to actually make a change toward that goal when there is pain not just something to be gained.

The idea of a six pack, the idea of millions of dollars, the idea of running a PR…well…as weird as it sounds…they aren’t really powerful motivators as much as we think we want them.

They only become powerful motivators if there is a great pain with NOT moving forward toward them. Or a great pain in where we are now.

Pain is what drives us to make a change.

Like think about during the holidays….when we feel…well…out of shape, disgusting, clothing feels uncomfortable and tight…we feel like blobs.

We feel “in pain” so to speak.

This is when we most often take action.

However, in taking action often we lose focus on this pain and start to focus on the gain we want.

While you’d think focusing on a positive outcome would be good, it may actually be what holds us back from achieving our goal.

Instead we may actually need to EMBRACE and OWN our pain and use it as a POSITIVE.

Yup.

There is positivity in embracing and truly feeling and reminding yourself of your pain.

While we tend to shy away from fear and pain as negative emotions…emotions to be avoided at all costs, instead we need to find ways to use them to actually achieve the goals we’ve always dreamed of.

And here are 3 ways I think you can do just that.

#1: Pain Reminders – An Anti-Vision Board.

So often we hang inspirational photos or quotes around to motivate us.

Like I’ve tried years ago personally to hang inspirational physiques on my fridge to help keep me in check when I first started even trying to “eat healthy.”

But honestly, they never inspired me to make a change. If anything, often the inspirational images would backfire…If I ate something off plan, I’d be like welp, ruined the day may as well give up upon seeing those images.

Because honestly, the pain of restriction in the momentum was greater than the GAIN of achieving the physique I wanted shown in those images.

As negative as this sounds, it was actually better to remind myself of the pain of my current situation.

A reminder of where I didn’t want to be.

A. Because I understood that emotion.

And B. Because I didn’t want that pain any longer. It was worth embracing the hard of change.

Pain can be a motivator. A driving force to change.

Instead of running from it, use it to move you forward.

Sometimes we have to remind ourselves of the negative to get ourselves to embrace change.

So if you’ve felt like nothing will motivate you, if the idea of a gain doesn’t keep you passionate about moving forward, remind yourself of the pain.

Create an “anti-vision” board. Put up things that remind you of why you want the change.

Again as negative as this sounds, put up a result of a race you didn’t like the outcome of.

Put up a photo where you didn’t fully want to embrace the time.

Because you aren’t dwelling in the past, you’re reminding yourself of why it’s worth it to move forward even when change is hard!

#2: List Goals Less In Gains And More Eliminating The Pain.

Again, it sounds so negative but this is about using your pain as a positive.

So often we say we want a six pack. Or we want to move better.

But those things truly aren’t motivating. Especially if we’ve never had that thing before, we have no real connection to the outcome.

But what is motivating is pain and fear.

What will happen if you don’t move forward toward those goals? Why don’t you like being where you are currently?

List out goals as how you’re going to move forward out of the pain.

This can sometimes even make us feel vain because it’s about avoiding how clothing feels. Or what we see in the mirror, but these goals are just for you and guess what?!

Aesthetic goals aren’t shallow. They’re valid. We each deserve to feel and look the way we want and life is meant to be about being our best, healthiest, fittest, most fabulous selves.

“I’m going to dial in my macros because I’m sick of feeling lethargic in my training and like I’m working super hard in the gym without those results showing. I’m frustrated by the fact that I don’t look like the athlete I am so I’m going to change this and get a six pack.”

Or if your goal is to move better….Instead of saying you want to move better, maybe you remind yourself of the pain right now of not being able to chase after your kids. Or not being able to do an activity you love.

“I’m going to do my mobility work because it’s horrible waking up every morning feeling like I’m 20 years older than I am unable to walk around the park without pain. I’m going to get rid of this constant ache in my back and move better through this mobility work!”

While you want to focus on the positive outcome, you want to use that pain to drive you to change.

#3: See Pain As A Positive.

No one likes to experience pain. No one wants to suffer from fear.

But instead of running from these emotions, instead of hiding from them, realize they are a powerful tool you can use for good.

See pain as a positive as you can harness it to make a change.

Realize that if there is some pain, it means you’re able to make a change.

If we live life out of avoidance, ultimately we won’t avoid pain. We’ll experience more of it and keep ourselves stuck.

So recognize that you can use that pain, even that fear of pain, to drive you forward and achieve wonderful results.

Remember too, you can’t know the good without the bad!

Pain can be used to help you drive toward GAIN!

SUMMARY:

So as negative as it can feel, embrace the pain of the situation you want to change and remind yourself of that pain to keep you on track and moving forward toward the ultimate gains you want to see!

Did the chicken or the egg come first?

The question really is…does it ultimately matter?

This thought occurred to me because of the cycle I see often going on when it comes to being frustrated by a lack of results from our hard work…

Being brutally honest, often we’ve created our current situation, one we don’t like, because of improper dieting and workout practices. You can try to say you’ve worked hard, eaten clean, whatever you want. But honestly, sometimes doing even too much of a good thing can backfire.

And then we’ve repeated those improper practices to dig ourselves more and more of a hole to crawl out of.

These practices have not only lead to our current situation we don’t like, but often also result in other bodily changes that now make it HARDER to see results.

And we blame these changes when we then can’t move forward.

But we almost have to recognize that while these changes do make it harder now, they are also something we’ve created that only we can fix.

This situation is what leads me to think of the “chicken or the egg situation.”

While yes, the imbalances, mobility restrictions, metabolic adaptions make it harder to lose or improve our lifts or runs, the reason we have them is also our previous improper practices.

So what we need to change is also why we struggle to make a change.

Ultimately there is one solution…

Even though we got away with something in the past…well we can’t keep doing it.

So ultimately changing those practices will reverse both our current situation and what is making moving forward even more challenging.

Aka what came first oddly doesn’t matter, but making a change does.

We need to really assess what we are doing and instead of defending it, find the flaws.

I think so often we say “We are doing that.”

Or find reasons what we’re doing should or does work, over seeing it as a POSITIVE we can improve something…that something is often.

Because if you’re doing everything right and NOT seeing results?

Well then you’re kind of screwed haha

But if you can find a flaw in what you’re doing, there is something you can work on.

Plus, the simple fact of the matter is…

Nothing works forever.

Our lifestyle is constantly changing and therefore so should our habits.

So instead of blaming something for being the reason you can’t move forward, find what may be perpetuating the issue and start to address that.

While there will be things outside of our control, we should work to control what we can control.

And then we can’t get caught up in what used to work.

We need to instead focus on ways to improve!
 So as you work toward new goals, don’t hold yourself back by even trying to defend what you were doing.

Don’t play the blame game. Or feel bad for something now not working.

Realize that the only way to move forward is to move forward with something new!

If you want to reach the highest level, you need to be obsessed.

Obsession really just means you’re willing to do what others won’t even when you don’t want to.

And yea sure, there is a dark side to obsession…honestly, like most things in life, there is a downside to them.

But I truly do believe we feared being called “obsessed” for our actions when those that would call us that are always people BELOW us…not those that have achieved more.

Didn’t know you were going to get even more attitude in season 4 did you?!

And I don’t mean that to sound as negative as it does.

We’ve all been in that place where we say “I can’t believe you do (insert thing here we feel we can’t do or don’t “want” to do).”

We do it even unintentionally.

But the simple fact is, to achieve “greatness” in any area of our life, we have to be a little unbalanced.

We have to sometimes stay up late. Get up early.

Skip a drink at happy hour.

But the thing is…we aren’t missing out.

We’re pursuing what really matters.

Life is a constant balancing act. And if we want one thing, there is ultimately ALWAYS going to be something you’re “missing out on.”

Heck you go on vacation and choose to go to the beach for an hour, you may “miss out” on the chance to see an extra sight. Or go on a specific hike.

We’re always constantly sort of sacrificing or trading one experience, one situation, one goal for another.

The key is remembering what we truly want and not being afraid to go after it.

Some things that help me be obsessed, in a good way of course…

#1: Remind myself of why “missing out” is good.

Everything comes at a cost. We just don’t complain about missing out if the cost isn’t too great. So some things are easier to miss out on than others based on their importance or value to us.

You’ll find that at times fueling your obsession is not a struggle. Your passion drives you to do it.

But at other times, well there will be times you feel the sacrifice.

But in that immediate “suffering” I remind myself of how this habit or action will matter long term.

It’s not easy to ignore the immediate gratification.

But reminding ourselves of the benefit of the specific action and not just the “joy” of our ultimate goal is key.

It puts the emphasis on acting right now.

#2: Don’t internalize. Assess where the judgement is coming from.

When someone reflects back an image of ourselves we don’t want to see, when they critique something we may even fear is a flaw, it’s hard not to just internalize the feedback and judge ourselves,

Being obsessed is…well…weird. It’s why not everyone excels at everything.

I would even argue it’s why most of us become elite in only very specific things…what we prioritize we value and practice to get good at…and everything simply can’t be a priority!

So we have to remember to be great at something, we may have to take judgement and, at times, feel like an outsider.

What we need to also remember to do is assess why someone is giving us this critique.

We need to be curious.

And we need to recognize that someone not going through the same thing may not understand.

Because I’m a curious person, when someone tells me something about me that is negative, I’m always curious as to where their judgment is coming from.

I assess their situation to better understand their judgement because I think it helps us filter the critiques.

Everyone is going to give their opinions. Some feedback will be valid and useful…others not so much.

Trying to understand more about who gave it and why will help us focus on the feedback that will actually move us forward.

#3: Find other obsessed people.

Honestly, feeling alone is often the hardest part. I know many of us see ourselves as lone wolves, and will very much want to be on our but sometimes that community of likeminded people, even just another person, can be key.

Having feedback, outside perspectives, people who may have even been there, can often help us get better results faster by avoiding mistakes they may have already made.

I think too, in a world where, being brutally honest, we often too often accept mediocrity for ourselves, being with other like-minded people to fuel your obsession can be key to helping you keep on the path through the ups and downs.

Heck, find people better than you that challenge you even.

SUMMARY:

Being obsessed means doing things other people don’t understand.

But in pursuit of our dreams and goals, there will be times we will do things we don’t want to do and do things others can’t or won’t.

This pursuit though is what can make you great. Do not fear your drive or hide it!

Realize though that in pursuit of greatest, there will also always be sacrifice. But in life, when we make one choice, we’re always missing out on the other opportunity. That’s just how it works!

So often the easy decision is just repeating the same habits and routines and patterns that haven’t moved us forward.

If we’re feeling challenged and uncomfortable often that means we are on the right track. That we are doing what we need to do.

If you’ve encountered times recently where you’ve wanted to give up…

DON’T!

Remind yourself of these things as you move into 2022 and plan to rock those results and move forward in ANY area of your life…

#1: Realize that what got you to this point, may stop working. Each phase of life, of a goal, may require new habits or routines or practices. Just because something worked in the past, and is now comfortable, doesn’t mean it will be what you need to take that next big leap forward. Don’t put up walls against reflecting on what is truly going on and what is truly needed.

#2: You need to embrace the hard. It’s easy to get caught up in how easy it seemed for someone else. But trust me, the best results in life come from the hardest struggles. And anyone who’s really achieved something has had their own set of struggles. Stop comparing. Prepare yourself for the challenges to come. Recognize them and own them. Then when things do pop up they won’t be near as bad because you’re prepared mentally for something hard to happen!

#3: Realize that sacrifice is at times necessary and you get to pick your suck. Often we weren’t happy where we were. And often through the growth, there will be times we want to give up because it’s hard. But ultimately one will get us to a better place while the other won’t. Either we can embrace the suck of staying stuck or we can embrace the suck of moving forward!

#4: Remind yourself why you started. And I don’t even just mean reminding yourself of your goal. I also mean reminding yourself of why you didn’t like where you used to be. It can be hard to FEEL the benefit of a goal we haven’t reached. But often reminding ourselves of the “pain” of where we were is still fresh enough to move ourselves forward.
Note why it’s worth it. In the moment we get caught up in the pain. In the thing we don’t like. But remind yourself why it is worth it to do what you love or to reach that goal. Even in these moments jot down one WHY to kick yourself out of seeking that immediate gratification. And then after, even consider ways you don’t have to handle this problem in the future!

#5: If you feel yourself putting up a wall, dig harder. It’s hard to look at ourselves and our habits honestly and want to make changes. It’s easier often to pretend like you’re doing everything right, when clearly something is up if you aren’t moving forward. If you feel yourself about to DEFEND something, pause your brain and realize that may be the exact thing you need to change. Dig deeper. Why are you truly attached to this? Why do you feel this habit or system or process is so perfect it can’t be improved? Often you’ll realize that something is holding you back from changing what you should!

SUMMARY:

Just remember setbacks, slip ups and mistakes are part of success.

And no journey forward will ever be easy.

So get ready to embrace the hard and recognize it means you’re doing what is needed to reach a goal you truly want or do something you really love.

How to Lose Bodyfat and Keep it Off Forever Without Feeling Miserable….