Did the chicken or the egg come first?

The question really is…does it ultimately matter?

This thought occurred to me because of the cycle I see often going on when it comes to being frustrated by a lack of results from our hard work…

Being brutally honest, often we’ve created our current situation, one we don’t like, because of improper dieting and workout practices. You can try to say you’ve worked hard, eaten clean, whatever you want. But honestly, sometimes doing even too much of a good thing can backfire.

And then we’ve repeated those improper practices to dig ourselves more and more of a hole to crawl out of.

These practices have not only lead to our current situation we don’t like, but often also result in other bodily changes that now make it HARDER to see results.

And we blame these changes when we then can’t move forward.

But we almost have to recognize that while these changes do make it harder now, they are also something we’ve created that only we can fix.

This situation is what leads me to think of the “chicken or the egg situation.”

While yes, the imbalances, mobility restrictions, metabolic adaptions make it harder to lose or improve our lifts or runs, the reason we have them is also our previous improper practices.

So what we need to change is also why we struggle to make a change.

Ultimately there is one solution…

Even though we got away with something in the past…well we can’t keep doing it.

So ultimately changing those practices will reverse both our current situation and what is making moving forward even more challenging.

Aka what came first oddly doesn’t matter, but making a change does.

We need to really assess what we are doing and instead of defending it, find the flaws.

I think so often we say “We are doing that.”

Or find reasons what we’re doing should or does work, over seeing it as a POSITIVE we can improve something…that something is often.

Because if you’re doing everything right and NOT seeing results?

Well then you’re kind of screwed haha

But if you can find a flaw in what you’re doing, there is something you can work on.

Plus, the simple fact of the matter is…

Nothing works forever.

Our lifestyle is constantly changing and therefore so should our habits.

So instead of blaming something for being the reason you can’t move forward, find what may be perpetuating the issue and start to address that.

While there will be things outside of our control, we should work to control what we can control.

And then we can’t get caught up in what used to work.

We need to instead focus on ways to improve!
 So as you work toward new goals, don’t hold yourself back by even trying to defend what you were doing.

Don’t play the blame game. Or feel bad for something now not working.

Realize that the only way to move forward is to move forward with something new!

If you want to reach the highest level, you need to be obsessed.

Obsession really just means you’re willing to do what others won’t even when you don’t want to.

And yea sure, there is a dark side to obsession…honestly, like most things in life, there is a downside to them.

But I truly do believe we feared being called “obsessed” for our actions when those that would call us that are always people BELOW us…not those that have achieved more.

Didn’t know you were going to get even more attitude in season 4 did you?!

And I don’t mean that to sound as negative as it does.

We’ve all been in that place where we say “I can’t believe you do (insert thing here we feel we can’t do or don’t “want” to do).”

We do it even unintentionally.

But the simple fact is, to achieve “greatness” in any area of our life, we have to be a little unbalanced.

We have to sometimes stay up late. Get up early.

Skip a drink at happy hour.

But the thing is…we aren’t missing out.

We’re pursuing what really matters.

Life is a constant balancing act. And if we want one thing, there is ultimately ALWAYS going to be something you’re “missing out on.”

Heck you go on vacation and choose to go to the beach for an hour, you may “miss out” on the chance to see an extra sight. Or go on a specific hike.

We’re always constantly sort of sacrificing or trading one experience, one situation, one goal for another.

The key is remembering what we truly want and not being afraid to go after it.

Some things that help me be obsessed, in a good way of course…

#1: Remind myself of why “missing out” is good.

Everything comes at a cost. We just don’t complain about missing out if the cost isn’t too great. So some things are easier to miss out on than others based on their importance or value to us.

You’ll find that at times fueling your obsession is not a struggle. Your passion drives you to do it.

But at other times, well there will be times you feel the sacrifice.

But in that immediate “suffering” I remind myself of how this habit or action will matter long term.

It’s not easy to ignore the immediate gratification.

But reminding ourselves of the benefit of the specific action and not just the “joy” of our ultimate goal is key.

It puts the emphasis on acting right now.

#2: Don’t internalize. Assess where the judgement is coming from.

When someone reflects back an image of ourselves we don’t want to see, when they critique something we may even fear is a flaw, it’s hard not to just internalize the feedback and judge ourselves,

Being obsessed is…well…weird. It’s why not everyone excels at everything.

I would even argue it’s why most of us become elite in only very specific things…what we prioritize we value and practice to get good at…and everything simply can’t be a priority!

So we have to remember to be great at something, we may have to take judgement and, at times, feel like an outsider.

What we need to also remember to do is assess why someone is giving us this critique.

We need to be curious.

And we need to recognize that someone not going through the same thing may not understand.

Because I’m a curious person, when someone tells me something about me that is negative, I’m always curious as to where their judgment is coming from.

I assess their situation to better understand their judgement because I think it helps us filter the critiques.

Everyone is going to give their opinions. Some feedback will be valid and useful…others not so much.

Trying to understand more about who gave it and why will help us focus on the feedback that will actually move us forward.

#3: Find other obsessed people.

Honestly, feeling alone is often the hardest part. I know many of us see ourselves as lone wolves, and will very much want to be on our but sometimes that community of likeminded people, even just another person, can be key.

Having feedback, outside perspectives, people who may have even been there, can often help us get better results faster by avoiding mistakes they may have already made.

I think too, in a world where, being brutally honest, we often too often accept mediocrity for ourselves, being with other like-minded people to fuel your obsession can be key to helping you keep on the path through the ups and downs.

Heck, find people better than you that challenge you even.

SUMMARY:

Being obsessed means doing things other people don’t understand.

But in pursuit of our dreams and goals, there will be times we will do things we don’t want to do and do things others can’t or won’t.

This pursuit though is what can make you great. Do not fear your drive or hide it!

Realize though that in pursuit of greatest, there will also always be sacrifice. But in life, when we make one choice, we’re always missing out on the other opportunity. That’s just how it works!

So often the easy decision is just repeating the same habits and routines and patterns that haven’t moved us forward.

If we’re feeling challenged and uncomfortable often that means we are on the right track. That we are doing what we need to do.

If you’ve encountered times recently where you’ve wanted to give up…

DON’T!

Remind yourself of these things as you move into 2022 and plan to rock those results and move forward in ANY area of your life…

#1: Realize that what got you to this point, may stop working. Each phase of life, of a goal, may require new habits or routines or practices. Just because something worked in the past, and is now comfortable, doesn’t mean it will be what you need to take that next big leap forward. Don’t put up walls against reflecting on what is truly going on and what is truly needed.

#2: You need to embrace the hard. It’s easy to get caught up in how easy it seemed for someone else. But trust me, the best results in life come from the hardest struggles. And anyone who’s really achieved something has had their own set of struggles. Stop comparing. Prepare yourself for the challenges to come. Recognize them and own them. Then when things do pop up they won’t be near as bad because you’re prepared mentally for something hard to happen!

#3: Realize that sacrifice is at times necessary and you get to pick your suck. Often we weren’t happy where we were. And often through the growth, there will be times we want to give up because it’s hard. But ultimately one will get us to a better place while the other won’t. Either we can embrace the suck of staying stuck or we can embrace the suck of moving forward!

#4: Remind yourself why you started. And I don’t even just mean reminding yourself of your goal. I also mean reminding yourself of why you didn’t like where you used to be. It can be hard to FEEL the benefit of a goal we haven’t reached. But often reminding ourselves of the “pain” of where we were is still fresh enough to move ourselves forward.
Note why it’s worth it. In the moment we get caught up in the pain. In the thing we don’t like. But remind yourself why it is worth it to do what you love or to reach that goal. Even in these moments jot down one WHY to kick yourself out of seeking that immediate gratification. And then after, even consider ways you don’t have to handle this problem in the future!

#5: If you feel yourself putting up a wall, dig harder. It’s hard to look at ourselves and our habits honestly and want to make changes. It’s easier often to pretend like you’re doing everything right, when clearly something is up if you aren’t moving forward. If you feel yourself about to DEFEND something, pause your brain and realize that may be the exact thing you need to change. Dig deeper. Why are you truly attached to this? Why do you feel this habit or system or process is so perfect it can’t be improved? Often you’ll realize that something is holding you back from changing what you should!

SUMMARY:

Just remember setbacks, slip ups and mistakes are part of success.

And no journey forward will ever be easy.

So get ready to embrace the hard and recognize it means you’re doing what is needed to reach a goal you truly want or do something you really love.

How to Lose Bodyfat and Keep it Off Forever Without Feeling Miserable….

Well I’m about to give you a dose of reality.

It’s a new year…but it’s still the same old YOU.

So often I know we go in feeling like everything is just going to change because it’s this magical new year.

And then…well…nothing does.

Because we are still us.

We’re still looking at the same thing from the same angle. We’re still expecting dramatic results while often falling back into the same old habits we repeat each year…

It’s a cycle I’ve seen happen time and time again…it’s one of extreme restriction…followed by rebellion…followed by little habits sliding until we are not only back where we started and frustrated or even worse off than were we were coming into the New Year.

It’s why slowly over the years the weight creeps on (or the injuries add up) and we then wonder why it’s so hard to dig ourselves out of the hole.

And then we blame our “age” when it really isn’t that number that makes the difference…

Let’s face it…

A. We get less active often as we get older. Desk jobs, car commutes…too many of us don’t move enough during the day, especially now with so many of us working from home.

And B. We repeat this horrible holiday weight gain cycle that creates metabolic adaptions that make it harder and harder to lose the weight we gain over the years.

That’s why I wanted to highlight exactly how the weight gain happens with this cycle…

Over the holidays, many of us gain weight.

Let’s just say it’s even 5lbs that we gain between inconsistent workouts and all the partying and holiday fun.

We feel blah about it and decide to do something in the New Year.

Heck we may have even let a few of those pounds creep on because we knew we were going to “diet” in the New Year anyway.

So we go into the New Year up 5lbs.

We then are super motivated to make a change so we slash our calories super low, train harder, restrict the foods we love…all to lose the weight as fast as possible.

We do those oh so tempting fad diets…or fad diets disguised far too often as “lifestyles.”

And we do lose the 5lbs.

But the habits aren’t sustainable. And over the Summer, with travel and vacations, we regain one to two of those pounds we lost.

We just couldn’t keep cutting out everything we loved and training so much.

So with these 2lbs on, we go into the next holiday season.

And again….

We gain the holiday 5.

But this year going into the New Year, we are now up 7lbs.

Again we are motivated in the New Year to make a change and we go after that quick fix.

But this time, we only lose 5 of the 7lbs.

We go into the rest of the year already up two. And over the Summer, we again gain 1 pound.

This next holiday season we’re now up 3lbs to start.

And if we gain that same holiday 5, we’re now up 8lbs to start the next year!

Slowly over time those pounds creep on while we’re even working SUPER FREAKING HARD each year to get them off.

It’s frustrating as all get out!

And each year the struggle becomes harder and harder because we’ve not only had the weight on for longer, but our previous dieting practices to get the weight off as quickly as possible have now BACKFIRED.

In trying to lose weight quickly, we’ve lost muscle mass. Muscle we don’t regain when we regain the weight.

And that means often our body composition becomes worse and worse each time we regain the weight.

This also means metabolic adaptations.

Our body adjusts so that it actually burns less fuel at rest. This means we have to keep cutting calories lower and lower to lose as we’ve even trained our bodies’ to NEED LESS.

This only leads to us often more easily regaining the weight, not to mention creating hormonal imbalances that make it harder and harder to lose again.

On top of all of this, the longer we have the weight on, the more our bodies don’t want to lose it!

Our body wants to maintain balance.

And whatever weight we have been at for longer is NORMAL to it. It doesn’t want to change from that so it fights more and more against the changes to maintain balance.

It’s why the weight seems to take longer and longer to come off.

With all of this, it totally makes sense why things just are so freaking frustrating and become more and more frustrating over the years.

But NOW is the time to stop this cycle.

Learn how to create sustainable habits and achieve the lasting results you want.

Because who really wants to work super hard for results that last a week or a month?

HECK NO.

We want results that last for years, that truly do last the rest of our life.

So this year, take this step back to see this cycle.

Don’t start this New Year with unsustainable habits. Create habits that will last

I HATE Goal Setting

I’ve honestly never been a huge fan of traditional goal setting as I feel like it can make us very rigid in our thinking.

And the second we feel like we won’t hit a goal, we stop trying.

Or we realize halfway through our goals aren’t…well, aren’t what we really need or want to accomplish so we give up on doing anything.

Or we then don’t hold ourselves accountable toward the goals we should actually be working toward.

I remember one year Ryan and I said we would make a new course each month because we thought this would add value.

I quickly realized this just led to me rushing through things and didn’t actually help my clients, nor my business, more than slowing down.

More than not doing as much.

I realized I’d, yes, set a “SMART” (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-Based) goal but it wasn’t very well thought out.  

The WHY wasn’t there.

It’s why I think it’s key we know the end goal we want to reach, but also find ways to be flexible in how we get there.

We need to remember the true WHY even if we sometimes aren’t even sure how we will ultimately reach that end.

We need to find ways to accept that certain experiments won’t pan out as we give ourselves some flexibility in our goals.

So while I’m all for setting goals, I think the key more than specifics is really understanding the WHY behind things.

Because so often we fail in reaching our goal because we don’t make it a priority.

We have to remember though, we prioritize what matters most to us.

If we want to reach our goals, we have to make them matter. And then, we’ll prioritize doing the things we need even when times get busy or we’re stressed out and tired.

So instead of focusing on how you’re going to even measure your goal, the timeline to complete it or even how “specific” you make it, instead focus on really diving in to why you want to accomplish this goal enough to be uncomfortable and sacrifice…and even what those obstacles will be.

If you’re looking to set some goals this year, here’s some things to consider….

#1: Why Is This Goal Important?

What is the pain in NOT having this accomplished?

Why is this goal so important you want to prioritize these habits even during tough times?

What does this goal truly mean to you beyond the obvious?

How could this goal improve OTHER areas of your life?

Basically why are the sacrifices work it (even recognizing the sacrifices you may have to make along the way)!

#2: What habits will help you move toward this goal and why do you believe these habits will get you there?

So often we pick a fad diet or quick fix and it doesn’t pan out.

It’s because we just choose the habits because they are “supposed” to work. We don’t dive into why they would work for US though.

One size doesn’t fit all and we have to be open to experimentation BUT the best way to really then figure out what works is to understand why a habit COULD work so we can then, if it doesn’t, adjust accordingly and accurately.

#3: What obstacles will stand in your way?

Face this. Acknowledge them.

By doing this you’ll be more prepared for anything that does pop up because you don’t expect the change to be easy.

Cause guess what?

It never will be!

The more we want something, often the more it feels like life tries to stop us from getting there!

#4: How will you keep yourself consistent and what end dates/check ins will you do?

Results take time and too often we simply don’t see results because we get caught up in one bad measurement, one off day, and we give up.

We also don’t stay consistent because we don’t step back to look at the overall picture and whether we are day in and day out doing the things we should.

How will you review these things and give yourself perspective?

We also don’t set other things to measure that would allow progress to build while we may not fully see the end result accumulating even though it is?

Because often we stop because we don’t “feel” like results are happening even though we are.

OR we keep going not even realizing something is off yet expect a different result.

How will you provide a guide to actually implement a program and give it time while not just allowing yourself to repeat the same mistakes expecting a different result?

SUMMARY:

If you want to set goals you’ll ultimately reach, you’ve got to be flexible in how you reach them and even when. Because nothing goes as planned.

BUT you have to have a clear vision for what you want to accomplish and why you want it.

And you need to give yourself guidelines along the way to see how you’re progressing.

This year set goals you’ll actually reach by focusing on these 4 things!