SHOULD.
That one word often sabotages the mindset changes we need to make and habit actions we need to take.
“I “should” be further along.”
Only makes us frustrated and feel broken and like a failure. It doesn’t help us learn or want to make more changes.
“I “should” workout 6 days a week.” “I “should” track my macros.”
Ideals are fabulous. But if you can’t do them?
We often do NOTHING.
We need to, as one of my fabulous coaches says “Stop SHOULDING all over ourselves.”
Because when we say all the things that SHOULD be happening, we don’t focus on what we actually CAN do.
SHOULD prevents us from making a change.
I’d encourage you right now to even ask, “Why SHOULD you do this? Why SHOULD you be further along?”
Because so often we never really ask this important question.
And when we do, we pause to assess what we are actually doing and what we need to move forward. The mindsets we CAN shift and the actions we CAN take.
That’s why in this video I want to share 3 steps you can take TODAY to honestly create an action plan to move forward toward your goals.
Starting with Step #1 asking yourself this important question…
“What does my CURRENT lifestyle and results actually look like?”
Where you are right now is a result of your past hustle and current habit practices.
The dieting practices you’ve done, starving yourself, cutting out whole food groups.
Overeating in self sabotage when you can’t stand the restriction any longer.
The skipped warm ups that lead to overuse and injury.
The rushed workouts where you didn’t fully push that progression or challenge yourself – you just got through them.
The haphazard programming and randomly strung together “best moves,” “best foods,” “best macros,” hoping something works….
This lack of planning and lack of focusing on owning our CURRENT lifestyle and priorities when we seek to make a change and instead just trying to work HARDER or do MORE based on a certain ideal…
This is what leads to the SHOULDING and stops us from making changes.
So step 1, before you go in search of a “perfect plan,” which doesn’t exist and I’ll get into more shortly, is to OWN YOUR LIFESTYLE AND PRIORITIES FIRST.
When you step back and truly assess what your lifestyle is and where your priorities lie, you can plan around them as you make changes and meet yourself where you are at.
What habits are truly beneficial that you’re doing?
What habits are holding you back?
What excuses do you always seem to make that lead to you falling off your plan?
When we ask these questions and assess, we can find little changes that meet us where we are at to move us forward.
We can start to build a plan that is actually sustainable.
Because if you don’t know where you’re starting from, you can’t outline a route forward.
And if we don’t own our priorities, they become our excuses every single time.
Family pressures and events? Long hours at work?
Not enough time always your excuse?
Stop then trying to force some ideal training schedule of 6 days a week and 1 hour in the gym.
Instead, especially if you’re barely making 3 sessions of 30 minutes now, why not start with that?
There is no perfect plan. But there is progress. And small changes to build lead to consistency which yields results!
Step #2, write out where you’re going.
And I don’t just mean write out your goals here. I want you to consider what the lifestyle at your goals will actually LOOK like.
Because it won’t look the same as what you’re doing now.
Change requires change.
If what you’re doing now worked to see results, you wouldn’t be looking for another program, another thing you SHOULD be doing.
You’d just keep doing the habits you’re already repeating.
But in order to make changes, we have to understand what changes are actually needed.
And while we may not have the full picture, we can often highlight a few things we know we will either need to do MORE of or LESS of to be at our goals.
As you list out the lifestyle your goals would require, don’t think right now about if it is doable. Don’t let the changes overwhelm you.
Just consider what you may need to do and even think about WHY.
The WHY part of that is key. Because often we don’t understand why we make certain changes or believe certain things are “best.”
This assessment of why we believe we need certain habits can help us already start to see things that may not fit or that may not be needed to then find other habits that are more in line.
Especially since you know where you are right NOW! You can start to see how many ideals you have that aren’t anywhere close to what you’re doing.
It may be eye opening to realize how far off you are from the habits you need, or believe you need. It can make us think…
“Well no wonder I’ve struggled to make some of these changes in the past! They’re a complete 180 from where I am!”
But don’t let this overwhelm you. Just write everything down. No judgement. No stress as to what you can or can’t do.
We will get there.
And I say write it down because writing it down makes it more real and tangible. It gives you a set destination to map out a route toward, breaking down those habit changes.
It reminds you of what you may need and even WHY you may need it when there are lows in the journey.
And it also then allows you to find one habit change to start with that may then impact other areas.
Often there is one thing that can really get the momentum going…
Which brings me to Step #3, set one small change you can make even right now!
Sometimes we make changes like we’re covering our eyes and simply pointing at a city on a map to drive to. Or like we’re just picking a place to go we’ve heard is “best.”
Then we expect ourselves to just know how to get there. And for everything to go smoothly and be amazing.
The thing is…
Without directions, we have no idea how to get there and half the time we won’t even make an attempt to travel.
How do we know that is even a place we WANT or need to go?!
We don’t always know what is required to shift in our lifestyle to replicate the habit or change we’ve selected.
We don’t know even if that change is something doable with our current routines and habits and how those will have to morph.
Instead, we want to base all changes off of where we are starting from.
We want to treat it like we’re mapping out that first turn out of our driveway to get to our destination. Not just pointing to some random turn somewhere along the route!
Because starting your journey by turning the wrong way right out of your driveway? That journey is not going to go well.
Instead, meet yourself where you are at and make sure you’re heading in the right direction with a doable step immediately.
This allows you to not only make a change that feels doable to build momentum and motivation through action, but it allows you to start the course toward a bigger habit change.
And it allows you to make changes in a way that can allow for easier course corrections.
We do have to start trying to find what may be “best” for a specific goal without fully knowing if it is best for us.
But by breaking down that habit based on where we are starting from and ultimately where we want to go, we can attempt to move forward to build up.
In the process, if we find that the habit doesn’t fully align, we can then always take another turn, knowing we’re still heading the right way.
That’s the key.
Changes that meet us where we are at to move forward but that build off each other so we can adjust as we go and find things that do or do not ultimately match our specific journey.
So based on your current lifestyle and routines you’ve just assessed, what is one small change you can make today that is a component of what you feel you need MORE of to reach your destination.
I say to focus on the MORE of instead of LESS of because often mentally these changes are easier to make. We mind adding more than we like subtracting, especially if what we think we need less of is something we enjoy.
But find that habit change that is, as weird as this expression is, the first bite to eat that elephant.
And write that change out to start today.
This isn’t sexy. Doesn’t lead to overnight results. But this momentum shift is what will carry you through and make you want to do more.
Because getting started with all the things we feel we SHOULD be doing is the hardest part.
This helps us take action and makes something we SHOULD do something we not only CAN do but even WANT and GET to do.
Write out that change and put it someplace you can see daily for the next week. Even give yourself a chance to check it off when it is done.
Then set a time a week from now to add on another change.
Stop SHOULDING all over yourself and ultimately never taking action. Start with action today and do these 3 steps and share in the comments the first small change you’re making!
If you want a completely CUSTOM PROGRAM with accountability and guidance to help you build your leanest, strongest body no matter your age (it is NEVER too late to make a change), check out my Coaching.
