Yup you heard that right. We make things impossible because we tell ourselves they aren’t possible.

And guess what?

Sure…everything isn’t possible…nor we will achieve that goal in the same way someone else has even if we get there.

Getting abs for you may be different than for me.

We of course all have genetic limitations and pre-dispositions.

But to just say you can’t get abs…well why not still strive for YOUR version of your leanest physique?

Why just say you can’t have that exact thing and give up?

Seriously then what is the option?!

So often if we believe we can’t have something we just don’t even try!

But we’ve got to stop telling ourselves we can’t if we want to move forward.

Life is about constantly growing and improving. That is the fun in it.

And I do truly believe that too often we write ourselves off.

I didn’t think I could get abs!

I didn’t think I could deadlift 310 pounds.

I didn’t think I could get a tennis scholarship to a Division I team and play.

I didn’t think I could start a business and go out on my own.

Heck I didn’t think I could be that person in front of the camera!

But I also didn’t not try.

There will always be a DOUBT that you can’t do something, but while I didn’t necessarily know it was possible until it was, I believed in the opportunity.

I believed that there was no point not to try.

And I think that’s the key, realizing the alternative.

Which the alternative is to just give up, never move forward, never improve.

Is that really what we want?

Any time I’m presented with these situations I like to reflect on what I do, what I’ve seen successful clients do, to share tips…and here are 3 mindset shifts I think are key to putting ourselves out there and seeing what is possible.

#1: So What If It Isn’t The Same?

If you have loose skin, your abs may not look like that Inspo picture you have.

But guess what? Almost no ones abs look exactly like someone else’s.

Our lifestyle and previous habits and scars are all there.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t have YOUR best looking abs.

We need to shift our mindset to saying we want this as it pertains to OUR best selves in that area.

Whether it is an aesthetic goal or performance goal we need to see that “ideal” as us achieving it in our own version.

This drives us forward.

Maybe you’ll never deadlift 400lbs. Maybe you’ll never be an elite marathoner.

But why not say you want to reach the elite level that YOU can?

We can always be our healthiest, fittest, happiest selves. But we need to remember that our journey and our ultimate win WILL look different than someone else.

#2: Possible ALWAYS Seems Impossible…Until You Get There

If you’ve never achieved something before, you don’t know how to get there.

It’s also why I hate those fit to fat to fit again things…so difference when you know how to do something or your body even wants to get back to that point.

But honestly, over your entire journey to results, you don’t fully know if you’ll get there until you do.

It’s why celebrating the habits, remembering why we started and then recognizing the wins along the way are key.

It’s why you also have to see everything as an EXPERIENCE.

Life is meant to be LIVED. What experiences do you want out of it?

What ways would you like to improve?

Because even if you don’t “get there” isn’t it fabulous to see the growth? To know you moved forward? To know you’ve learned?

Heck to even know you tried?!

I never want a regret because I didn’t at least TRY at something.

So just remember it will be impossible till you prove it is possible!

#3: What’s The Alternative?

This might sound weird, but when I doubt myself, when I consider not doing something, I always think…

“What’s the alternative?”

And often I realize the alternative is keeping myself stuck. Keeping myself in a situation I do NOT like.

Not seeing what I CAN actually achieve.

Really if we aren’t choosing to try for a goal, often we aren’t allowing ourselves to grow.

And who doesn’t want to learn and improve and grow?

Who keeps wanting to be frustrated feeling like they’re stuck?

So if you’re scared to get started, if your scared of failing…which there is always a chance you will, think about the alternative of never trying.

There is the saying, you never regret the workout you did…Well I honestly think that applies to most goals we work toward even if we “failed.”

Most of the time we don’t regret TRYING. We feel good for it.

Strength comes from overcoming things. Growth comes from stepping outside our comfort zone.

Don’t fear failure.

Realize it is a part of success.

And realize honestly that the alternative of not at least TRYING to reach something we think MAY be impossible is staying stuck and believing it will never be possible.

I don’t know about you, but that gives me FOMO!

It’s undeniable our body changes as we get older. But so much of what we attribute to age is actually other lifestyle factors adding up.

I got an email saying “What about the stubborn belly fat? Yeah I know macros, but what else can I do?”

My reply – “Why add complication to something that should be simple?”

Too often we want to do more. We want to do things that maybe make that 1% difference over staying focused on the thing we just simply need to do consistently.

Because it makes us feel more in control…or often we even hope we can AVOID doing the hard but key thing to get results.

I know this is not “sexy.”

But truly results are built off of those boring basics.

It’s not the supplements. The fancy equipment. The crazy moves that make the difference.

It boils down to clear workout progressions repeated weekly with a focused goal for their design and macros.

Yup macros. No matter your goals.

If you use those two fundamental things and seek to always learn and track (what I believe is self-empowerment), you will be able to adjust your lifestyle as your needs and goals change – whether those changes are due to shifting priorities, simply something new you’d like to work toward or changes with age and hormones.

Now I get that neither of these things are the fast fixes and that they take learning and consistency when we sometimes want something shiny and new, but they are key.

Why Macros Matter…

Macros are what every diet dials in even if it doesn’t tell you that. Some diets may tell you to avoid specific foods or food groups. But this is to eliminate or reduce a macro.

The issue with this is…What if you plan to include this food long term?

You don’t know the balance.

Not to mention the second we restrict something, the more we want to rebel even if we didn’t eat that food often.

And so often in this restriction of specific foods, we don’t account for changes in our lifestyle. It’s why something may work for a bit only to not work later. It leads often to frustration when we’re doing all of the “right things.”

It’s why you need to seek to really understand the foods you’re consuming and how they impact you.

That way, if you start training more, you can adjust your fueling to match.

If you find you have cravings around your period, you can actually steer into the skid and adjust because your metabolic rate has changed.

If you are busy at work and training less, you can adjust your macros.

Want to build muscle, you can adjust.

You are in control AND you don’t have to restrict anything specifically.

You can find YOUR balance.

Why Progressions Matter…

Too often we see training as calories burned. Working harder over working smarter.

But this is often why we end up like that hamster on the wheel, running really fast to not get anywhere.

Like everything in life, we have to have a clear destination and map out a course to get there.

You don’t just get in your car and drive to a location you’ve never been. You map out the route so you can track your progress toward your destination and be able to correct any wrong turns.

Same thing goes for your workouts.

You need to map out a weekly schedule based on YOUR schedule, needs and goals, and then track your progress toward it.

I know people want to claim it is boring, but this is an excuse not to dial things in more and be intentional.

You don’t have to repeat the same workouts forever. But giving yourself time to truly maximize and build is key. Even 3-4 weeks is enough.

And then you can change things up a bit, even progressing moves through the same but different. This helps you truly create the progression you need to build back stronger. And it helps you avoid overtraining and wasting a ton of time and effort.

More is not better. And more is often why we don’t see progress and end up standing still.

Raise your hand as high as you can.

Go ahead…do it right now.

Now raise your hand higher….

You did didn’t you?

Funny how I told you to raise your hand as high as you can and yet you could still raise it higher when I said to….

Funny how it didn’t take really much more effort to raise it a bit higher either….

Why do I mention all of this?

Because A. Often we don’t realize we can give more until we are asked to.

And B. So often we don’t necessarily do everything we can even though those little tweaks, doing just a little bit more, doesn’t take much more effort.

It isn’t that we are lazy either. Or that we don’t care or want to give our all.

We do. 

But I think sometimes we just don’t realize how much we are truly capable of. We don’t realize the little bit more we can get out of things with just a very small bit of extra effort.

Sometimes we need that extra outside push.

That outside perspective.

We need to be shown that our limiting beliefs are false and that more is possible.

Heck sometimes we just even need someone making us aware that this could be happening like I have done right now asking you to raise your hand.

But how can you do this on a continual basis?

How can you not let yourself “get away with things” and be held back by your first impression of your attempt at something?

I wanted to share 3 ways to reflect on your effort and always get a little bit more out of yourself…

1: Simply ask yourself, is this really all I can do?

Often we don’t question if we are giving our all. We simply FEEL like we are and go with it. But always question yourself. Believe you can always push your boundaries.

This isn’t telling yourself that you aren’t doing enough, it is simply believing that as you learn and as you work through things you are then possible of MORE than you believed to start.

As things become habit, we can often get even more out of them. As you improve your running, you can push the pace, go a bit longer.

But the key is ASKING OURSELVES TO! We need to be able to question our own limits and do it often. Maybe each week reflect on your habits, rate yourself and your implementation. Set a goal of doing something to improve the next week!

2: Look for extra small tweaks. Think oil on the machine not adding another cog to it.

Often we look for a part to ADD when we think about doing more, improving something. But that’s like adding a cog to a machine where no cog is needed. It could just be pointless, it could end up breaking the machine or it could simply make something more complicated than necessary to operate.

Instead we want to think about changes as adding oil to a machine that could function a bit more smoothly. That maybe is getting squeaky.

When you make changes, when you look at where you could do more, think about where you could oil your well laid out plan. What is something small you could do to make what you’re already doing easier, more efficient, produce a better result without really adding more to your plate?

3: Don’t be afraid to set STRETCH goals.

So I like to set goals that are realistic. It’s super disheartening if you always set super aggressive goals and never reach them. 

However, I like to have a realistic goal for each week, each month, each year but also what I consider a STRETCH goal.

And I often use these on short term goals strategically when first making a change. 

These goals are a little extra aggressive and asking a little more out of myself than I sort of believe is possible.

They’re doable, but asking me to find that extra reach out of raising my hand.

And I set them knowing I may not hit them but that in seeking to, I’ll move beyond the basic goal outlined. And I do set a prize for myself if I reach them. I mean, I’m competitive and know that so set something that makes it feel extra like winning.

But don’t be afraid to challenge yourself with a stretch goal and call it that. Sometimes we have to ask more of ourselves to get ourselves to crush the true goal we want to accomplish.

Too often we end up just planning to hit the basic goal falling short when if we plan to go beyond it we truly succeed at hitting what we initially wanted!

And I don’t know about you, but the “doubts” especially if I even write down my own, add a little chip to my shoulder making me want to achieve it even more!

SUMMARY:

Sometimes we have to force ourselves to question whether or not we are truly giving something our all. We have to be willing to test our own boundaries.

And while it can be helpful to have that outside perspective and push, you can be there to support yourself using these 3 tips!

You end up pleasing no one. Especially not yourself.

I personally believe we will ALWAYS care about what other people think…it’s how we can actually function as a society.

But we also have to learn to filter what we care about.

We have to learn to recognize when someone gives us an opinion that isn’t in line with what we need or want.

And then we have to be ok with them judging us because we don’t go along with what they believe.

But we have to remember we are doing this to be true to ourselves.

Because whether we make ourselves happy is really what matters long term. You are stuck with yourself. You have to be the one that ultimately lives with your decisions.

I mention this because often when we make lifestyle changes, make sacrifices others don’t understand, we will meet resistance and judgement.

And it can feel awkward.

It can feel awkward to skip the chips or bread. To not have the drink. To pick something “healthy” off the menu.

And while I firmly believe we need to strike a lifestyle balance right for us, at times that does mean NOT eating things that we may have in the past.

And that can bring with it judgement from friends and family.

These judgements so often derail us from reaching our goals.

But I want to discuss how to take ownership and stick to what truly matters most to us.

I want to discuss how to make sure you’re focused on doing what makes YOU happy over just trying to appease someone else….

1: Don’t jump to conclusions about their statement or critique.

So often we think something is negative that isn’t. Or we add a connotation to something that isn’t there because of our own insecurity.

We may feel weird about not having something. Or about picking a healthy option.

Take a second to pause and assess. And even don’t hesitate to CLARIFY what the person meant.

Realize often it really is our own lens that is coloring our interpretation of what they’re saying.

And then, if it isn’t, even try to see the perspective THEY are coming from.

Maybe is it their own insecurities making them say things in certain ways.

2: Reiterate why it matters to you.

If someone critiques me, often in my response back I will remind myself of why what I’m doing matters to me.

It is just that added reinforcement while also trying to educate.

If they call me out for getting something healthy, I may even say…

“Yes, I’m getting something healthy because it will taste good and help me feel amazing tomorrow.”

I remind myself of why what I’m doing is worth it to me.

3: Realize everything comes with a sacrifice.

I don’t think it is bad to recognize that it will take sacrifice to reach a goal.

Nothing in life is about doing what we want, when we want all of the time.

There are sacrifices that come with success.

We are always choosing one thing which causes us to “miss out” on another opportunity and experience.

But the sacrifices are worth it because it moves us toward the goals and experiences we truly want.

I think reminding ourselves that sacrifice is a part of everything is key.

Because then, when we do feel maybe awkward about a decision we are making, we can remind ourselves that this is part of the process of ultimately staying true to ourselves.

It isn’t easy at times to be the person sticking to their macros or not having the drink. But reminding yourself of why this sacrifice is even worth it, can help you stay true to what truly matters to you, over giving into peer pressure.

4: The simple fact is…haters gonna hate.

No matter what choice we make, there is always someone out there judging that doesn’t agree.

By taking any stance, making any decision, taking any action, you are going against what someone else believes.

I think sometimes we just have to realize that not everyone will agree with what we do or believe in it. And that is a-ok.

Sometimes we just have to simply admit we can agree to disagree.

And, at times, we may even have to realize we’ve grown apart from certain people in our life and it’s time to move forward – that, while hard, it is best for both of us.

Do not be afraid to move forward.

Realize that criticism comes from you being successful even!