Things in our life are going to happen. Things outside of our control.

There’s no denying that.

But we also have to stop blaming these events for our successes or our failures and realize that ultimately we are in control.

And this is actually a good thing.

Yes, it stinks accepting full control because it also means you’re responsible for your failures, BUT it also gives you the power to make a change at any time.

While we can’t control everything that happens in our life, we can control our perspective and how we respond ultimately to events.

We have to realize that we always have a CHOICE in what path we take.

And this responsibility and power can be scary.

It means we ultimately get the blame whether things work out or they don’t.

But that acknowledgement of our own control of the ultimate outcome is key if we truly want amazing results.

If we don’t believe we are in control of things, if we don’t believe we have a choice in the matter, we are constantly relying on outside things.

It means we can never really move forward on our own. It also means we never have to accept responsibility, to some extent, for our failures.

But the more we CHOOSE to accept control, the more we can ultimately steer our own car and head in the right direction even more quickly.

Recognizing that you have a CHOICE in how you perceive things can help you see even failures and setbacks as a learning experience.

Life is going to happen, but we can ultimately let those situations derail us because we couldn’t stop them from happening, OR we could choose to control our perspective and learn from the events and find opportunity in the new situation.

Whether something happens or not isn’t really what matters. What matters again is the choice we make in how we use those events to make or break us.

We have the CHOICE each and every day to believe we will be conquered by an event or that we will conquer any situation that comes our way.

I know it’s cliche but there is that oh so true line of “Whether you believe you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

But we have the CHOICE to believe, or not believe, in ourselves.

No one can make that decision for us.

Just like we have to make the CHOICE to be motivated. To want to move forward. To take action.

Our mindset is of our own making.

No amount of outside belief in us, or pushing, can force us to move forward. We have to make the decision to believe in ourselves and take action.

We have to make the CHOICE to go against what is instinctual and natural to make a change. We have to CHOOSE to step outside our own comfort zone.

Basically we have to recognize that so much of our success or failure is based on the mindset and actions we choose to take.

As scary as it is to take responsibility, the simple fact is, ultimately we are in control. And that, through our choices, we can improve our life, our results, at any time.

Embrace the power that mindset brings with it.

Today make one small decision to move you forward. Realize you can CHOOSE to succeed.

So make that your CHOICE and move forward!

Are there changes that happen as we get older?

100%!

But so often we blame our age for things within our power to change.

We also blame our age for issues we’ve ALLOWED to actually build up over time.

Improper dieting practices. A lack of a proper warm up….

Things we thought we could get away with when we were younger. That we thought “worked?”

Well…let’s put it this way….just because we could get results at the time, workout without warming up without any immediate consequences doesn’t mean we SHOULD HAVE.

And it’s also a big part of why we’re now “feeling our age.”

But because this is something we’ve…well…sort of done to ourselves…it also means we have the power to change it.

So how can you avoid feeling old? How can you control what you can control to stay lean and strong to your final day on this planet?

Here are 5 tips to help…that we need to try to teach people at younger and younger ages!

#1: Suck it up and learn about macros.

I know I sound like a broken record, but so often our desire to avoid learning about the fundamentals of nutrition catches up with us.

We may get away with slashing our calories super low when we’re younger or even out exercising our diet.

But as it becomes harder to build and retain lean muscle and metabolic adaptations can add up (both from menopause, muscle loss and previous improper dieting practices) we can’t just keep restricting further to see results.

By learning about macros we can actually help retrain our body to eat more, fuel for muscle growth AND achieve some stellar body recomposition.

Learning about macros gives us control to adjust as our needs and goals are constantly evolving. 

#2: Include PREHAB with each warm up.

I’ve heard so many people say they used to get away without warming up.

What I want to tell them often is that their “getting away with it” is actually what probably caused some of their current issues.

I used this analogy in another podcast, but it is like a leak in your ceiling. You may not notice it’s there. You may “get away” with keeping the same pipe…

But one day the leak will have added up enough your ceiling tile may collapse in.

So many injuries and issues are due to perpetual overload. And often when the injury fully shows and we can no longer push through…well that move is simply the final straw.

Start doing that mobility work daily to address common daily postural distortions and help prep your body to work correctly during your workouts.

Even just a 10 minute warm up with that full prehab process can go a long way.

#3: Stop saying you’re too old for things.

You want to know the clients that stay young forever? They’re the ones that never stop pushing themselves. 

That never shy away from challenges.

That constantly seek to progress moves.

Use it or lose it couldn’t be more true.

While yes, recovery times may change as well as even the types of training we are interested in…not to mention INJURIES may impact what we choose to do, age should never determine what we believe ourselves capable of.

At any age you can build strength, endurance and power.

It’s always about meeting yourself where you are at.

#4: Stop doing it because someone else did.

So often we don’t stop to assess our needs and goals.

We try to do something just because it worked for someone else even if it isn’t truly realistic for our lifestyle.

FOCUS ON YOU.

DO YOU!

What does your lifestyle look like and how can you create the healthiest version of that?

How can you help yourself build back in a sustainable way if you’ve been out with injury? 

How can you create a lifestyle balance that allows you to enjoy your glass of wine or dessert?

Don’t get caught up in someone else’s standards of what is healthy…focus on your needs and goals.

#5: Suck it up and go slow.

We need to get it out of our heads that results will happen overnight.

Slow results are REAL results…not just glycogen depletion and water weight being lost.

Slow results are also SUSTAINABLE results. 

We need to also realize that, the older we get, the longer we’ve potentially been doing the WRONG things. Also the longer we may have had the injury or the weight on.

And the longer we’ve been doing the wrong things? The longer it takes to correct.

As I like to tell clients, you didn’t get into your situation overnight and you’re not going to get out of it that quickly either.

The longer you’ve had the weight on, the more your body will rebel against the change.

We do not like change.

So get ready to be consistent and embrace that changes will take time!

So we’re entering the time of year that well…we often slack a bit on those healthy habits. We get busy. There are tons of work things and family events…

Let’s face it…often the holidays are when our motivation fades and often our healthy habits fall by the wayside.

But I think part of the reason why we ultimately lose progress so we feel we have to start over in the new year is because we’re holding ourselves to too high of standards.

Say whaaaat?!

Ok don’t get me wrong. I believe 100% in hard work.

But I also think we hide behind having to be all in or the “go hard or go home” attitude so much so that we end up doing NOTHING when we can’t do everything and be perfect with our implementation.

It’s why I want to prepare you for this time of year by giving you permission to do the minimum.

Yup. The minimum.

Because sometimes by simply doing as little as we can to MAINTAIN our current results we move ourselves forward.

I mean think about it this way even…

If you started the New Year even where you are NOW over, say 5lbs heavier from all of the holiday eating, wouldn’t that be better?

And on top of that, by often doing the minimum and being slightly better than we were the year before, we ultimately enter the New Year BETTER OFF than where we are currently.

Because consistency adds up.

It may not happen as fast as we’d like, but those results do snowball.

So I wanted to really highlight how you can do the minimum and still see results with these tips…

TIP #1: Focus on one nutritional habit or goal.

Ok so you may want to hit x macro ratio and x calorie count and prep everything at home and only eat super whole, natural foods….

But what if you can’t do that right now? What if it isn’t realistic?

What if you have meals you’ll be obligated to eat out at? What if you’ve never tracked before and the idea of logging feels overwhelming in and of itself?

START WITH ONE THING!

The more we break things down to make habit changes the easier they actually are to sustain long term.

And they allow us to build on them as we do enter the New Year when motivation may be higher and we have more time to implement all of the things we want.

We have to see this as a time to create habit changes that don’t require willpower to maintain because that is what makes them last.

So pick one thing.

Just track your food.

Just add one healthy food in consistently.

Just cut out one snack.

Just swap one restaurant meal for something lower in calories or higher in protein.

Just remember that because you have one cookie, you haven’t ruined the day so log it and stop.

Remember that little diet tweaks add up and you can always build off of them.

But be realistic for the time you’re in.

Even planning around holiday meals or events out with friends!

TIP #2: Consider your realistic schedule and design for that.

Ok so maybe usually you love to train 6 days a week for 1 hour per session…

If you don’t have time right now though to do that, trying to force that will be a recipe for disaster.

You’ll be inconsistent and missed training sessions will be a bit mentally demoralizing. Not to mention inconsistency leads to worse results and even puts you at a greater risk for injury.

You also may not be training everything ideally.

That’s why it’s best to honestly reflect on the time you have and design a routine, or even a plan B for that schedule.

If you only have 3 days and 30 minutes a day?

Create more full body routines with lots of compound moves. Avoid full rest periods and instead work other muscles so they can rest as you work another area.

Design for the time you have so you can get consistent!

By staying more consistent, you also maintain the habit which makes it easier to get back into the swing of things when you do have 6 days a week to train.

TIP #3: Just move forward no matter what.

There are going to be things that come up…unplanned events during the holidays that lead to skipped workouts and messed up macros.

Don’t beat yourself up.

Focus on just moving forward.

And don’t feel guilty like you’ve ruined the day.

Too often we let something lead to more, which is truly the issue.

As much as you can tweak. Hold yourself accountable. Find a minimum so you can mentally end each day on a high note even when a curveball has been thrown your way!

Maybe you end up eating out and your macros aren’t perfect? Just don’t eat extra feeling like you’ve ruined the day. Or at least pick a dish out that allows you to stay under your calories or hit your protein.

Or maybe just be proud of yourself for logging and staying accountable.

Maybe a work event means you’re drained and can’t get in your usual session. Try even just a 5 minute mobility routine to do something to move and prep your body to move well the next day!

Focus on what you CAN do to move forward. And never feel guilty. Learn from it even to see if there is a way to plan better or prepare for the situation in the future…

Like picking the restaurant or doing your workouts in the morning vs afternoon during these busier times!

TIP #4: See this time as practice.

Instead of seeing this time as you can’t do everything you want, see this time as a way to practice specific habits or PLAN for the New Year.

Write up workouts. Test out moves or training types.

Test out recipes that you can add to your food tracker so they are easy to enter when you can really dial in your ratios.

Get in the habit of logging so it feels easy as you do tweak your macros.

Try planning out options to hit your ratios.

Try meal prep. Find healthy restaurant meals to get on the go.

Use this time to work on those mobility restrictions if you can’t make it to the gym.

Find little things you can do that will only benefit you as you can really dive in 100% to your programming in the New Year!

Funny how any time there is a blip or bump in the road toward results we feel like we’re failing.

But we often ignore the fact that technically we can only suffer a setback because we’ve moved forward.

And trust me…I get it.

It’s frustrating when you’re working hard and things don’t work out.

It’s hard when you’ve emotionally and physically invested in something for it to not only not move you forward but even cause you to lose some of the progress previously made.

But the sucky truth is, sometimes you don’t know until you’ve tried.

Progress is never linear.

Setbacks come with success.

That’s why I did want to share how I approach setbacks to hopefully help you take them in stride as you work toward your goals this week.

Because with results, with progress, will come failures.

#1: I plan for them.

Any time I do something new, I recognize beforehand that there are going to be issues that come up.

And that many of the issues I simply won’t be able to plan for or predict.

By mentally preparing myself for this fact, it often helps me take the situation in stride when it does arise.

#2: I find something to learn, no matter what.

When I first suffer a setback, I may curse up a storm, whine, complain…do absolutely nothing productive. BUT as soon as possible I pause my brain and say “What can I learn?”

Because setbacks often teach us something super valuable that can lead to a bigger win than we even thought possible.

I swear some of my biggest failures have also led to my biggest successes!

Because often setbacks happen when we are striving to do something super new, something we’ve never done. 

And to learn the ups and downs, ins and outs of that new thing, we have to TRY IT first. 

#3: I assess whether it is a problem to be solved or a downside to the upside.

Not all setbacks are “solvable.”

Sometimes we run into issues we won’t be able to fix…that just come with the success.

So as you encounter “setbacks” or what feels like failures, assess if it is really a problem to be solved or simply the downside to the upsides you’ve achieved.

It can also help us avoid wasting effort trying to handle something you really can’t change or even that shouldn’t be changed.

And maybe even realize it wasn’t a setback to begin with.

Like as weird as it sounds, cheat days.

Maybe it felt like a setback to “eat off plan” for the day.

But maybe part of what will make you successful is actually these days. 

They may not be ideal and it may stink to see the scale increase after, but maybe long-term they actually help you stay consistent.

Maybe the setback is actually for the better even.

Not everything we do directly moves us forward too!

SUMMARY:

So much of how we view setbacks is really about our perspective. And I think even realizing we can’t have a setback if we haven’t moved forward is a key mental switch.

Progress is never linear. So these setbacks are a part of success.

They show us we’ve moved outside our comfort zone to even make the changes that WILL help us reach new goals!

If you look at comments on different exercise posts, you can honestly start to believe that EVERY move is bad for you and super dangerous. 

But I think too often we simply demonize moves over learning how to use them properly.

Don’t get me wrong, there is risk with every move we include. But honestly there is risk doing any movement in life. 

And it really isn’t that moves themselves are bad…it’s that we don’t know how to implement them properly based on our needs and goals.

Not every move will be right for you.

And if you use it when YOU shouldn’t? It may not result in a great outcome.

However, too often we end up injured from a move we SHOULD be including simply because we don’t understand how to create proper recruitment patterns to control it.

We also just get stuck going through the motions or trying to mimic proper form.

We aren’t conscious of what we feel working or how to tweak form to match our needs and goals and builds.

So I wanted to share some tips so you stop avoiding moves and demonizing moves when you actually need to learn how to control them to better avoid injury in every day life!

#1: Ask yourself, “What do I feel working?”

Often I think we don’t realize our own compensations and imbalances or we assess from only one perspective. We also try to mimic proper form, watching ourselves in the mirror.

And while you may look at your form in the mirror and “force” yourself to fit a mold, you may actually be perpetuating the issue by overusing muscles to do so.

So your form may LOOK correct while creating issues, overload and injury. 

It’s why we constantly need to assess “WHAT DO I FEEL WORKING?” During moves. This is the best way to make sure our recruitment patterns are correct. 

That our usage of moves is optimal.

And don’t think because you’re experienced your recruitment patterns are automatically right. Often the more experienced we are, the more we can cheat and create proper looking movements by overusing muscles that shouldn’t be used. 

Often the more we don’t realize how little injuries and such have built up and overload is occurring

So by asking yourself what you feel working, you can tweak moves to meet your needs and avoid the moves causing issues!

#2: Don’t force a movement when it doesn’t feel correct. Look for the “grey.”

If you don’t feel the correct muscles working, look for ways to tweak the moves. Too often we see form only as good and bad, instead of seeing all of the variations we can include to meet our needs and goals. 

It’s not that you want to avoid the move to start. 

Instead, adjust it. 

Try a more vertical shin angle in a lunge or a slight hip hinge if you have knee issues and can’t feel your glutes working.

It can even sometimes change how you CUE a move to yourself to get the correct muscles working.

Often it really does come down to how we implement moves. 

We have to be conscious that form is not a one size fits all type thing.

We not only all have different needs and goals but even different builds.

Long femurs and a short torso? You may not be as upright in your squat. And if you try to force that position? You may end up with lower back pain.

You could demonize the squat and avoid it OR you could tweak your form or the variation you use so you don’t end up with back pain and can control this amazing move!

#3: Regress to Progress.

Sometimes we can’t control a move and end up injured because we’ve advanced it faster than we should have. If it is too hard or too much, we may compensate to try to perform a move we aren’t ready for.

Our body wants to complete the task we ask it to do at any cost often.

So if you don’t feel the correct muscles working or you start to notice your form slipping, regress to progress.

Modifying moves so you can really learn to control them can help you build back stronger!

#4: Be ok NOT using a variation but try to tweak before you AVOID. 

And while I think too often we jump to avoiding and cutting out moves, we do have to recognize at times we may NEED to cut them out as we build up. Or we may need to use a different variation because it is simply BETTER for us and our needs and goals.

Struggle with back squats due to lower back pain? Maybe as you work to improve your mobility to perform these and strengthen your core, you do goblet squats because they help you brace and control the move.

Or maybe you can’t avoid knee pain with lunges so you don’t do front lunges for a bit but instead use the split squat to learn to control the move.

The point is, you can often TWEAK moves to get the benefits even as you may need to avoid specific variations! 

SUMMARY:

Don’t just jump to the conclusion a move is bad or that you should avoid it. Often we just need to learn how to better implement it.

Too often we actually don’t see the gym as a chance to learn to move better so we don’t get injured in every day life.

Learning to control movement patterns is key!

So use the gym as time to learn how to modify and master moves over simply avoiding them!

You know that downward spiral of negativity that can happen?

Where one bad thing happens, maybe even something minor, and then stuff just seems to be piling on.

And yes, while bad things are happening, you let your MINDSET only make things worse?

We let ourselves begin to spiral.

We begin to mentally tell ourselves…

“Life sucks.”

“I’m not good at anything.”

“I hate everything and it’s a horrible, no good, very bad day.”

We let our thoughts make things worse.

The question is though…How can we stop this spiral from happening?

I think we will always be works in progress, but I wanted to share some tips I feel like have helped me catch myself in the act of spiraling and stop it before I dig myself too deep a hole I then have to crawl out of.

So if you’ve found yourself going deeper and deeper into the negativity, try implementing these 3 tips.

#1: Recognize It. And Own It.

I think too often we don’t celebrate simply the fact that we’ve caught ourselves in the act of doing something.

But this is honestly the most key first step if we want to make a change.

You first have to recognize you’re doing something if you want to change it!

So if you’ve felt yourself beginning to spiral, give yourself a pat on the back for even first RECOGNIZING the fact.

Then OWN IT.

Recognize you are ultimately in control of your thoughts and actions.

No you can’t control events.

But you can take ownership of your own responses.

So begin to flip that script and change those thought patterns and reactions to what is going on!

#2: Flip The Script.

We do respond automatically to things.

We may have an initial emotional response or thought that drags us into that spiral.

But the second we recognize we are doing that, perpetuating the negativity? We need to switch those thoughts.

We need to focus on what we can do to move forward.

We need to FLIP THE SCRIPT and change how we talk to ourselves and view what is going on.

Everything can be seen as an obstacle or an opportunity….even the worst situations out there.

Is this always easy? OH HECK NO.

But it’s possible.

We just need to focus on pausing to give ourselves that perspective.

If you notice yourself talking to yourself in a negative way, change that script. Focus on framing things in a more positive way to get yourself moving forward.

#3: Control What You Can Control.

Owning your actions and flipping the script both come down to controlling what you can control.

No we can’t control so much of what happens in our life, but we can always choose to control our reactions to it.

Not necessarily our innate initial response BUT knowing we even have those responses, at some point we need to find a way to pause our brains and adjust.

We need to start to recognize our downward spiral and then begin to find things we CAN change.

We can control our perspective of events. We can control how we talk to ourselves.

We can say we are a failure because of something. Or we can say “Hey! At least now I know that doesn’t work!”

We can frame things in any way we choose. It’s why controlling what you can control and flipping that script is so key to stopping the spiral and even helping you climb out of that negativity!

#4: Realize You’re Not Alone.

I know it can often seem like we’re the only one things are happening to. That it is worse or harder for us.

But everyone goes through their own struggles that at times feel insurmountable.

And I think recognizing we can reach out to others, and that they will in some way understand, is key.

This is honestly a huge part of controlling what we can control.

You CAN control the support you have to move forward!

Because feeling alone almost makes things worse.

But you aren’t alone.

And then we have to remember…

“Tough times don’t last, tough people do.”

Often we ultimately drag out our own suffering by not following these tips and allowing ourselves to spiral further.

So if you’ve found yourself falling into this trap, recognize it. Own it. Flip how you’re talking to yourself, maybe even reaching out for help. Find ways to change that perspective and control what you can control!

And sometimes we need that outside perspective to help us see the opportunities in the obstacles…

At those times, coaching can be key!

–> LEARN MORE about my 1:1 Online Coaching