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How to Actually Get Abs (10 Annoying Tips That Work!)

How to Actually Get Abs (10 Annoying Tips That Work!)

by | Mar 30, 2025 | Blog, Diet

So you want to see more ab definition…

You want to achieve that elusive “six pack”…

Well, here are 10 annoying nutrition tips to help you get there!

But a word of warning to get abs, you can’t be concerned with sustainability.

That comes later.

This isn’t the time to focus on how you can work in your cocktails or your favorite desserts as much as I’m all about balance long-term.

Because what we do to achieve a goal, is NOT what we do to maintain it.

But to reach a level of leanness you’ve never achieved, or haven’t seen in awhile, you’ve got to be willing to sacrifice and push hard, especially when you’d rather sit on the coach and binge watch chick flicks while eating ice cream…

Maybe that’s just me…

But achieving abs is about pushing your body’s set point, and that does mean being more precise with your diet and workouts.

Those 1% matter.

That’s why these 10 tips are key.

And note, simple doesn’t mean easy.

Actually often the simpler something is, the harder it is long term and the more tempted we are to try to do more or chase a new fad diet or shiny object…

Don’t.

The biggest thing is CONSISTENCY with all of this past the point you want to quit…PERIOD.

Which is why Tip #1 is – Be boring.

Yup. Boring.

I love trying new restaurants, and have more favorite restaurants on doordash than I should probably admit while always looking for what’s new…

But if you’re focused on getting abs, especially for the first time, diversity is your enemy.

It can trigger cravings.

Make hitting your macros harder.

And it can make it tougher to know if something is or isn’t working.

The more you keep things basic, the easier the process will be.

Tip #2: Cut back on protein bars.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like feeling hungry.

And you are going to be a bit hungry when first pushing to a new level of leanness.

That’s why cutting back on processed snacks like protein bars can be key. They are very calorically dense often for very few bites.

They often are not satisfying in the slightest and leave you feeling still hungry right after due to the lack of food volume.

So be conscious of how you use them and even try to include them with other high volume foods or only when on the go!

Tip #3: Stop the daily fluctuations.

If you want results to snowball faster, you’ve got to be willing to be more precise. That means hitting your macros within 2% and 50 calories plus or minus daily.

Not just in weekly averages where things fluctuate greatly day to day.

Not excusing a day “off plan”, which can often impact our macros more than we realize.

But every single day hitting those numbers consistently and precisely, even using the same meals and foods as I mentioned with tip 1.

That’s what adds up and allows us to know what is and isn’t working.

And if you’re thinking, “That isn’t sustainable.”

It’s not meant to be. What we do to reach a goal isn’t what we do to maintain it. And during maintenance a new balance has to evolve.

But to first get there, you’ve got to embrace the grind!

Tip #4: Focus on fiber.

Very rarely is gut health and fiber the first thing that comes to mind when you think about getting lean and losing fat.

But focusing on getting about 25-30 grams of fiber per day can really improve your fat loss results.

A healthy gut, and consuming enough fiber, reduces inflammation and cravings and improves insulin sensitivity and satiety.

It keeps your metabolic rate higher and even reduces the rate of protein breakdown to help you preserve your muscle mass as you lean down.

So take care of your gut with fiber to balance your appetite and make the fat loss process easier!

Tip #5: Get 30-40 grams of protein per meal.

Yup. The tip all too many of us know and resist…increasing our protein!

But not just increasing our overall daily totals, specifically focusing on that 30-40 gram range for a meal or more.

While many have heard the myth you won’t utilize more in one sitting, studies have shown you will utilize up to 100 grams efficiently.

And that 30-40 gram range is a great way to create an anabolic response even as we get older and we aren’t able to utilize protein as efficiently.

That amount helps make sure you’re fueling your lean muscle while also accounting for the fact that protein is used for so much else in our body.

Being in a deficit, you are deficient and depleted. Getting enough protein ensures you aren’t catabolizing your muscle mass to get the amino acids you need for repair or other bodily processes.

Not to mention, you burn more calories even at rest to digest protein making it something you can eat more of without as much risk of gaining unwanted fat.

Tips #6: Prioritize carbs around your workout.

Carbs are immediate fuel.

To push hard in our workouts to get the biggest benefit, we need that energy source especially while in a deficit.

Timing more carbs pre-workout can help you have that readily available fuel while creating that anabolic environment to build muscle.

So no matter exactly your carb ratio, focus on getting some carbs for full glycogen stores prior to your training and then even refueling with carbs post workout to help you repair and rebuild.

Carbs are also protein sparing so help you really protect that lean muscle mass and use that protein more efficiently!

And do not fear if you train at night eating more carbs later in the day!

Tip #7: Take breaks.

While you may think, “It’s only a couple of pounds.” Those last few pounds are often the slowest to lose and the ones you have to be most strategic in losing.

Push too great a deficit and you risk losing even more muscle in the process.

But our body adapts to what we do.

It’s why the process isn’t linear and at times you have to step back from your cut and push to get lean and take that diet break.

This ultimately allows you to be consistent for longer and not burn out, not only mentally but physically.

It allows you to even add a bit of muscle and avoid metabolic adaptations along the way.

So if you’ve been pushing hard toward your goals for a few months, consider a 1-2 week phase of eating at maintenance as you push your training to build muscle and get that mental break from more intensive dieting.

Tip #8: Be careful of pre-workout or fat burners.

I know it’s tempting to want a quick fix or a boost, but these supplements can be dangerous and also have a further reaching impact on our recovery than we realize.

And our sleep is so essential to balancing our appetite and hormone levels for fat loss not to mention recovery from our workouts to maintain muscle.

While they may feel good to boost our energy and provide a temporary metabolic boost, they can impact our sleep and recovery in a negative way.

And unless we keep consuming more and more, we won’t keep seeing the same boost from them.

So if you’re finding you want to jump to using these things, assess your meal timing and first consider just something simple like a cup of tea or coffee before you train if you need. But less is more and you can’t out supplement your workouts or macros!

Tip #9: Don’t set it and forget it!

Your body is adapting and changing through your journey to get abs. Your lifestyle and stress and priorities are also shifting.

That means you can’t just set your macros or diet habits and then go on autopilot.

While we don’t want to be changing things up every other second, we do need to watch progress and adjust as we go.

That may mean a diet break. It may mean a change in types of foods. It may even mean shifting macro breakdowns, cycling up and down in protein or even changing carbs and fat levels based on shifts in our activity.

But track and monitor your progress to adjust as you go and not feel like something should work forever in one form. Because it won’t!

Tip #10: Suck It Up Buttercup.

To reach any big, lofty goal, you’re going to have times you don’t want to do what you should.

Times things stink.

They don’t feel sustainable.

You don’t enjoy them.

At these times, you need to tell yourself to suck it up and keep going. That’s the only way for you to push through.

And when it feels like nothing is happening, that’s often where we usually quit and where we need to keep going instead. Because often that is right before we break through and really see results begin to pop.

So if you’ve even felt like you’ve looked worse recently while pushing hard, KEEP GOING! Realize the areas that have improved and celebrate your consistency and realize it is part of the process!

But focus on consistent changes that build past the point you want to quit.

And realize that precision is so important when we want to push boundaries. Embrace the hard and keep going!

Dial in your diet to match your workouts and build your leanest, strongest body ever with my Metabolic Shred…

–> LEARN MORE

Better Daily Habits For Results That Last!

Better Daily Habits For Results That Last!

by | Mar 27, 2025 | podcast

Listen:

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast. Everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. I don’t know about you guys, but I have a hard time sometimes slowing down to speed up. I am all about taking that action I want to do. Reflecting is not in my natural nature and it’s something I’ve had to learn, which is why I’m super excited to talk with Coach Ashley today about the power of the pause. Ashley, thank you so much for joining me.

Ashley (00:33):
Thank you for having me. I’m so excited to get to dive into this topic and talk through it and talk through what are some of the benefits for people in their health and wellness journey.

Cori (00:43):
So let’s get right to it because as I mentioned, I am not good at reflecting. It is something I’ve had to really learn to slow down to ultimately speed up because there is a desire to sometimes do act out of emotion, react to something. So how can we really see the power in the pause and then use it to our advantage?

Ashley (01:03):
Absolutely. Okay, so when we talk about the pause, the way I like to frame this is it’s the space in between when you have a thought and the action that you take right afterwards. Now, the way that we kind of produce action and the way that our thoughts influence our actions, there’s two different systems. There’s the fast action response, which is usually born out of patterns that we have routines like the way we’ve operated since we are two, three years old. And I don’t want to say it’s animalistic, but it’s so instinctual that it’s just whatever our first instinct is. And then we have our slow response system, which is where more of that pause comes into play, where you think a thought, have thought, take a pause, and then determine or choose the action that you’re going to take. And so that’s where that pause kind of exists is right in between the position of where you’ve had that thought.

(02:03):
And what’s so powerful about it is that it allows your brain to actually override the automatic pattern that you’ve developed over the course of your entire life. And so the reason why this is so important, especially with behavior change, you’re trying to change anything about yourself, whether it’s the way that you wake up. I mean, I’ve had to use this because I’ve been told as I get older, I should wash my face and do skincare before I go to bed so that I don’t have wrinkles and I hate washing my face and it’s not in my nighttime. So I’ve had to intentionally use this strategy for something as simple as being clean, but you can use it for your health, your fitness, any area of wellness.

Cori (02:50):
It’s remembering that your habits made you do it in a weird way. And we think of habits as a good thing, but the habits do have that ingrained pattern that we default back into. So when we’re trying to create something new, we have to use that pause to recognize that our habits made us do it and unlearn those patterns as we’re even learning new ones. And that’s why it’s so hard and this giving ourselves space to really think about it is so key. So knowing that and knowing that it can be helpful for about any habit mentioning washing your face, I’m like, I’m not good at that either. Maybe I should use that here. But what can we do to help make ourselves actually take that pause when it’s so easy to default back into action?

Ashley (03:33):
I think first, recognizing and understanding that there are those two brains within us is the first thing. What that does is it allows us to remove guilt and shame from this process because a lot of times I’ll hear from clients is like, I just feel like I can’t get a handle specifically around food a lot. I can’t get a handle on this. I feel like I keep self-sabotaging. And what that produces is then a shame response that drives them away from the action altogether because they’re so worried about failure. So the first thing that you can do is when you have the thought, so let’s take just the situation of washing your face. So I’m cozied up on the couch, it’s hitting that time that I’m ready to go to bed. Typically it’s like, okay, just go to bed. I’m done. I’m ready for the end of the night.

(04:25):
Okay, wait, what can I use here to interrupt my pattern that I have of just going to bed? So for me, again, ridiculousness, but this is just who I am. I have to set an alarm on my phone that is at least five minutes ahead of the time that I’m too tired to actually want to do anything. And it’s an interruption, right? Go wash your face. Well, now it’s right in front of me to either make the decision because it’s an interruption. I either need to make the decision to go do the thing or to not do the thing. But because I know that there is something intentional I’ve placed in there, there’s no shame or guilt around my choice that I make. I’m just making the choice. The second thing that we really have to understand here is that a lot of our automatic decisions, a lot of our routines are inside being driven by dopamine.

(05:24):
And the reason why this is so important to understand is dopamine is highly addictive to us as humans. Humans. There’s studies that have been done on rats that show rats will go crazy for sugar as much as they can, even to the point of it killing them. And again, I don’t want to narrow us down to animals because we’re not, and we do have the second brain, however, acknowledging that dopamine is driving a lot of the impulsive decisions that we get, and that’s what we’re pursuing day in and day out. Just having that understanding puts us more into position of like, okay, I can think about this and analyze what’s happening versus just moving and going and reacting to my life moment and moment day after day and feeling like I have no control over it. So I think the first step is like understand what’s happening inside your brain.

Cori (06:16):
I think that understanding is so key because it does put you in a more proactive state. You recognize that there are things happening that are natural and that you shouldn’t even necessarily feel guilty about, but at the same time, you can control and change. And I love that example of setting that alarm For me, it’s a change in my environment. So thinking now about like, okay, I’m actually bad at washing my face as well, what could I do to then shift things so I have that reminder, well, I could put out all the materials I need to wash my face right on the counter so that I have no excuse. I see it when I go to brush my teeth, which I do do religiously. So that’s a good habit to have ingrained, but that will help me have that reminder and then make a choice. Yes, I can still choose not to do it, but it’s a lot easier to remember to do it when those visuals are there. So it is finding a way that you can create that pause through other things that trigger it, because trying to think about pausing is kind of impossible to start until you really recognize the pattern you’re repeating.

Ashley (07:17):
You just hit on that word. You have to recognize it to know that it’s happening. Recognizing it requires reflection, it requires pausing, it requires looking back and even having a moment of analysis. So pair this back, really simple things that affect our clients daily. Oh, I didn’t work out yesterday because my day was so busy. Okay, let’s reflect on it. Let’s look back to yesterday then. What was different? What was the same? Where was the moment that you decided that you weren’t going to work out? And can you in that moment, is there a different trigger that we could have put into place? Just like you just described, what is something that you want to do differently? And in fact, the author of Atomic Habits talks about how to implement and put new habits into place, and everything comes from a queue. So let’s say stressful day, long day meetings up the wazoo, something happened at work.

(08:27):
Okay, stress response, right? Then you have the routine of that. So maybe the routine is when you get stressed, you stop by McDonald’s and you pick up your shamrock shake because it’s March and you got to have one in there. That’s like your little trait. And then at the reward, what’s the reward of that is that you get comfort. Okay, well, if I want to interrupt that pattern, I want to do something different, then what I have to do is the moment that the routine is hitting, that’s where I have to insert the pause. That’s where I have to go. I guess I’m going to take a different way home maybe as a strategy, or I’m going to immediately drive to the gym right now versus even stopping someplace else to delay that process. And that’s where again, the pause though comes as you’re recognizing the routine that’s there.

Cori (09:23):
And it’s even using the pause not right in the moment. So while we do want that pause to come in the moment to assess our choice in the matter, what we really want to do, it’s even realizing that when something happens, instead of creating that guilt, instead of blaming yourself for the impulse, instead of just writing it off as, oh, this is a routine or habit or mindset that I can’t control, at the end of the day, reflect, put in that pause automatically right now at a time you can fully control, just say, Hey, I’m going to reflect on the day, what happened that led to this routine? What triggered this pattern? And then what things can I test out to do it to then implement? Maybe it is even putting in your gym bag so that you can go right to the gym, right into your car, so you don’t go get that shamrock shake.

(10:05):
Maybe it’s even having an extra snacker protein shake that you walk out of your office with at the end of the day of work because you’ll have that and won’t stop then. But using almost a preset pause at the end of the day to help yourself then even see those pauses because you’ll notice as you drink that protein shake, even though you’re doing that now sort of out of habit because it’s there, that creates that pause to assess this is how I felt. Okay, this actually did help, or maybe it didn’t, but it pauses your brain enough to give you that choice when you do select that thing. So it’s using pause in multiple different ways so that we can recognize what leads to that cycle. For us, even

Ashley (10:44):
One of the key things I think you hit on there, Cori, that’s really important is it puts you back into control and choice and decision. And I do think so many of us are just running around day to day being highly reactive to what the day brings to us. And sure, there’s going to be certain days that are that way. There will be things that are outside of your control. But what you just referenced is how do I use tools and strategies to make sure that I’m being intentional? Even the strategy of reflection, end of the day, you’re being very intentional with that to reflect back, to say, okay, what did I like about my day? What did I not like about the day? Let me forecast into tomorrow. What would I like to change for tomorrow? And it puts you into that driver’s seat again versus feeling like you’re just a passenger in your life and just whiplash in and out of traffic whichever way that you’re going.

(11:44):
And that’s a key factor that any person who wants to implement a behavior change, change something about their life change, something about their health and wellness, about their fitness, you have to start with the power to choose, have to start there. Once you recognize that you have the opportunity to choose, that’s when you can start actually using this strategy very strategically. Whether it is, I know sometimes I’ve worked with clients who I’m like, end of the week, here’s your reflection point. How many people are actually spending the time to look at their week or look at their month or even look at a quarter or a year of their life to say, what do I, lemme pause and reflect on what I liked here. That’s why New Year’s is such a great time to start producing change is because there’s a pause that’s built in after Christmas, after New Year’s, people are like leaning back, ate too much food, and they’re like, I can slow down for a second. And it’s built into their calendar almost. But we have to be intentional about building that in other places. Otherwise, a whole year goes by and you realize you’re in the same place

Cori (12:59):
And it can’t just be in the reflection after the doing, even it’s being intentional and taking that pause even prior. So to start your day, if you find yourself constantly in that reactive state, not pausing, even saying, well, I just can’t pause. And again, giving away your control, what at the beginning of your day can you do to set your intentions for the day, to set out the routine to recognize, Hey, this is what I even have in store and own it. Because I think that’s something we don’t do enough is own the reality of our situation, own our priorities, and therefore we don’t give ourselves the power to pause because we don’t recognize what might be coming up with the new year. We do exactly that, and the more we do it by even setting specific things versus saying, well, I want to track this year because I want to lose weight.

(13:41):
Well, how are you going to track, okay, how is that going to look on a daily basis? What action can you take today for that? The more you start to give yourself those really tangible things, the more you start to see the actions and the more it actually becomes easier to even pause because you are aware of those daily actions. And I feel like awareness is so much at the heart of all of this, and we’ve been circling around and touching on in so many different ways. Is there any way you’d recommend that someone goes about building that awareness more in the moment besides just the reflection, just the setting, the intentions for the day?

Ashley (14:16):
Absolutely. I think you’re touching on some really great reflection strategies and in intentional strategies, but it doesn’t take away from the moment that you need to make a decision where stress is high or your body and mind are pursuing comfort, right? So when you get into that moment, there’s the 5, 5, 5 rule, and this is a little bit more thought driven. So once you have the thought that you’re recognizing as like, okay, I really don’t want to, I’m just going to keep using this example, go to the gym. My day was long. I’m stressed out, I’m exhausted. Okay, well, let me give five seconds just to do nothing for five seconds. Have that thought address that it’s there. Okay, now I’m going to ask myself five minutes from now, how do I feel now about going to the gym? Okay, if I could get to the gym for just five minutes and do just five minutes of treadmill, warmup, foam rolling, whatever it is that I can, I just do five minutes, is that something that I can do?

(15:20):
And starting to look from that five, five perspective and talking yourself through it, it produces enough pause in the moment that you are not just reacting to the thought that is sitting there. It’s not an automatic like, oh, don’t want to go to the gym, not going, it’s a, oh, don’t want to go to the gym. Five seconds. Think about it. Okay, five more minutes, ask yourself again. So you’re driving home, ask yourself again, okay, now what if I could just go do five minutes that I’m there? So that’s one strategy that people can kind of utilize is that rule of 5, 5, 5. This is a little bit more meditative and it doesn’t work for every single person, but if you know what box breathing is, box breathing brings down the cortisol levels and the stress response in the body, which is where we make a lot of our automatic decisions pursuing dopamine.

(16:21):
So when you are in a high stress situation, you go back to routine. So what box breathing does is it’s strategy where you’re inhaling for a beat of four or five or a six. I have seen people do it even up to eight. Then holding that breath for that count of four to eight and then releasing it. What it does is it lowers the body sympathetic nervous system. That response that you’re having, it lowers your cortisol, brings you out of your amygdala, the emotional part of your brain and puts you back into, I call it the driver’s seat, that prefrontal cortex where you’re actually making decisions. You’re actually getting to have that response. So those are two strategies that strateg you can use to implement a pause into a moment or a situation, but something I think is key for you to even expand on. I love that you said earlier, Cori was about the environmental factors and how you can use those to interrupt and produce a pause.

Cori (17:26):
It’s all about where your attention goes, your energy flows, right? And with the breathing, with having those environmental shifts, we’re creating something that draws our attention to where we want it to go. And with the breathing, it’s amazing how much just that pause, not only because you’re pausing to count the breasts, but just that relaxation relaxes your mind, gets you to refocus, not just respond to something and allows you to honestly assess what you want. Because a lot of times in that immediate wanting to take action, you default back into what’s comfortable, convenient. You almost even give yourself permission and make an excuse for yourself to just do what you’ve always done. Well, I just don’t have the power. I just don’t have the self-control. I don’t have the willpower. No, I’m sorry. You do. You have all of those things, but we have to make the choice to have them.

(18:12):
And I’m very much a tough love person for myself and for everybody I work with. So for me, it is even in those pauses, not just saying, well, what do I want in the future? But why am I feeling like I don’t deserve this? Why am I feeling like I should give up on myself? And I think that honest reflection a lot of times is like, well, heck no. I’m better than this. Right? There gets a little like dust his shoulders off. It’s recognizing not only why you deserve it, but sometimes just saying strength is built through what you overcome. And the first few times you take that pause as hard as it is, that’s ultimately what makes you more comfortable being uncomfortable in that way. And so for me, it is a lot of environmental shifts. It’s not having the candy in the cabinet, but putting it in the freezer even though it tastes even more delicious, arguably in the freezer.

(19:01):
It’s that pause that creates the environmental shift that originally created that now helps. And so now I have that whole cycle in place. It’s putting out the gym bag or putting out the different things I need to handle. I hate for some reason responding to different mail things, even though I’ll respond to emails in two seconds. But if it comes in the actual mail, which generally are more important tax things that you have to do, whatever, but I for some reason, dislike doing them. But if I put them on my keyboard on my desk, I will do them because I have to pick it up to move it. So I’m that lazy that I will do it right? It’s just those small things that almost seem so silly that can be the biggest pauses and shifts just because they make us actually have to take action in a different way. And where our attention goes, our energy flows, right?

Ashley (19:48):
Yes. Oh, it’s one of my favorite statements and one of my beliefs is you have to know that in the driver’s seat of your life. You have to know that the direction you are determining the direction of who you’re going to be a year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now, and this is where everything that you just said reminded me of. Another tactic that people can utilize in the thought processes is we’re so impulse and dopamine driven sometimes as human beings, that as you’re interrupting your thoughts and your flows and kind of taking control of your life, one thing that you always have to ask yourself, is this serving the future version of myself actually going to thank me for this? Because sure, right now in the moment, I might be tired, I might be stressed, I might be joyous, I might have all of these different things, but a week from now, am I going to regret that I made the choice that I’m making right now, three months down the line, am I going to regret the way that I’ve handled the last three weeks or the decisions I’m making today?

(21:01):
And it really starts putting into your mind this future focus where it’s not all about the present moment and just the present moment, but now you’re living for something that is, I don’t want to say greater than yourself because it’s you. You’re pretty great. Do you deserve that for yourself? Does the future version of yourself actually deserve that? And when you start thinking about it that way and having more of a No, I want to live a purpose driven life wherever I’m going, I want to make sure that I am driving somewhere intentional as we start living that and start having that thought process and asking ourselves, again, pausing, what decision do I want to make for my future self? And I’ll just say this, sometimes the decision is yes, I do need to rest today because if I go work out right at this moment, I might pull my hamstring because my mind muscle connection isn’t there. And if I’m going to do that, if this happens, then I’m going to workout tomorrow at this time instead and starting to use the technique of even if then I’m in the driver’s decision, I can decide if I’m going to work out or not. And if I make this decision, then this is the consequence that comes of that decision, if you will.

(22:22):
Bargaining with yourself in that way can be another strategy. You can use that pause too.

Cori (22:29):
I definitely want to talk about bargaining because I think that can even sometimes steer into taking ownership of the fact that we are dopamine driven. Because I use it, and I don’t call it bargaining, but I think it’s very much along the same lines of, well, I can work out, or if I don’t want to work out, I have to work out to listen to this podcast that I really want to listen to or with not wanting to do the dishes, I also get to do this other fun thing. So it’s even combining and using things that really are that fix that we want with things that maybe we don’t want to do, or I hate foam rolling, I don’t want to do it. Okay, well, I get to watch X amount of Netflix if I also have foam roll during these different points in the show. So it’s sometimes connecting things that you are driven to do with things that you aren’t driven to do, to give you that pause to want to do them, and even potentially create some positive associations so that you want to ingrain in those habits potentially even faster too.

Ashley (23:29):
Oh, it’s so good. Using our dopamine fix to our advantage is so smart. And again, there brings a fun level to it and a joyous occasion to it because so often I will hear from people like, oh, I have to work out, I have to work out. And I’m like, is there anything that we enjoy here? I had a client once who her favorite thing about working out was the outfits that she got to buy to workout in. She loved it. She’s like, I love a cute gym outfit. I’m like, more power to you. I’m a t-shirt and sweatpants girl, but I love that for you and you love it for you. And so her thing was, okay, if I’m consistent this long, I get to go buy this new outfit. And when you start kind of combining that reward factor, like you said, that dopamine, and again, not guilting yourself over it, okay, yeah, I’m driven with some rewards. Awesome. How can I start partnering those things together and marrying them together so that I am both moving in the direction I want to go? And what you said, Cori was so important, starting to associate positive associations.

(24:43):
There is usually so many patterns people have had throughout their years of dieting and feeling like failure or feeling like they had these lived experiences of, well, in the past, my pattern has been to quit or to fail or to lose it and gain it. And so with that, there’s these negative associations with the process. I love asking the question, well, how much fun, positive joy can we start partnering with this experience so it doesn’t feel like so much resistance in it? You can tell me a little bit about your experience here, but I hear this a lot with tracking or when people go into a calorie deficit for the first time, there’s a fear response and they’re like, Ooh, they just cringe with it. And I’m like, okay, well let’s pause here. Let’s pause and figure out where that’s coming from. Okay, can we even use a strategy of a little game? How many treats can I fit into my macros on this cycle so that I can figure out how to actually not hate being in a calorie deficit? Because look at, I can have as many treats as I want as long as it fits my macros.

Cori (26:03):
I think that’s key because as a dessert person, for me, tracking seemed restrictive. And then I realized, wait, I’ve always cut out all these things without tracking, and now with tracking, I can work them in. So my trying to restrict food groups before was more restrictive than tracking, but because a lot of times we have used tracking to cut things out, we have that negative association. So pausing to really assess why we have attitudes towards things and break down how we’ve used ’em in the past is super important. That’s why I like having people just track to start because they see there’s no judgment in it, there’s nothing they can’t have. And then from there, they can adjust based on what they actually want. And I love your example of working in the things and seeing how much of a game you can make it.

(26:44):
Same thing with meal prep, right? A lot of times people have meal prepped and they’ve had chicken and broccoli. I actually do like chicken and broccoli to some extent, but I want diversity. And so if you only think about meal prepping in that way, that’s not going to be fun. But if you go look for new recipes and cookbooks and search on IG and Pinterest, you can find so many good things that make all these different habits really fun. But it goes back to what we’ve been talking about, power of the pause to assess why do I have certain attitudes and what can change this for me?

Ashley (27:19):
It’s so good. It’s so good what you just said. I think if there’s any two questions that somebody were to walk away with today, it would be those two questions right there. Why does this exist? So getting super curious without judgment towards yourself, working in that intentional reflection, is it at the end of the day for you? Is it at the end of a week as you’re looking through things, you have a cup of coffee, sit on your back deck, think about your week. What is that experience going to be like? And then second, asking yourself, well, what can I add in to this experience even before I take away? What can I add in that’s going to give me more of what I want? Is it quick and easy meals? Are those things that are important to me? Is it more treats? I’m also a treat person.

(28:05):
I want them, right? What is it that I want to bring into my health and wellness experience? And this is why I always ask clients when first starting with them, what is your ideal vision for your health and wellness? Magic genie pops out of a bottle. It’s like you get three wishes. You get these. If you could have anything, what could those be? And Cori, if I could tell you how many times people aren’t sure because they’ve never actually stopped to think about it and no one’s asked them, well, what do you actually want your health and wellness to look like, feel like? What do you want your process? Do you want to go hard in the paint or do you want it to be a little bit more slow because you’re like, I want to implement one thing at a time. Do you want this to be something?

(28:54):
There’s not the pause that they haven’t even thought about it. And so when I get to start working with a client, that’s the first thing we’re going to pause. We’re going to actually ask these questions of ourselves, and then we’re going to start piece by piece asking, well, what needs to change in order to get there and how do we go about that? So that’s where even as somebody is starting out at asking themselves what has changed, but I’ll just give this as a freebie too. One of my other favorite questions to ask people is, when was the last time you felt your best? Because in this reactive, crazy life, people go, man, 20 years ago, what was different about life 20 years ago, comparative to right now? Because if we can figure out the gaps between what was and what is now and then even go and where do we want to go from there? It allows people to pick out what’s changed before and what do I want to change now? So a lot of reflection in there. Journaling’s a great prompt if you’re a journaler, if you’re an analog person, maybe you’re a verbal processor. I will just say, this is where a coach comes in handy because you can verbal process at your coach and they can help bring some clarity. But even if you don’t have a coach, having a support person in your life that you can process with can also be really strong.

Cori (30:27):
I think there are so many great tips in that, and one of the biggest summaries of that is question and be curious. And I would add in a little bit, dare to dream because I think part of why we don’t ever achieve as much as we’d want is because we do limit ourselves whole other subject for another day. But we need to dare to dream. And if you want to implement the power of the pause, all these things are questioning and being curious about why you have that response. So in the moment, if you take that deep breath, you do the box breathing, you ask yourself, Hey, why is this coming up right now? Even that right there can make you really assess what you want and then put in the actions that you really feel you need to move forward towards your goals. So Ashley, three key takeaways for you from all of this that you want people to have in terms of using the power of the pause.

Ashley (31:21):
Let me think. Because when I get to this point, I always need a pause. I’m like, oh, there’s so many big things that people could take away. I would say the first thing is one, understand what’s going on internally. Understand that your brain and body are designed a certain way. And as you understand that, you use that too as a strategy to know that you can make a choice and that you can start choosing. And I say that very intentionally because sometimes people will slide into, well, this is just the way that I am and I can’t control it. No, no, no. Knowledge is power. Once you can know what your body and mind are doing now, you can use that to your advantage. So one, have that understanding without shame, without guilt. Two, get curious. So start working it into your day-to-day life or even weekly, that opportunity, 30, 60 minutes to just reflect on what is going well.

(32:16):
It doesn’t have to be super deep. You can say, what is going well? What is not going well? What do I want to focus on in this next week? Really simple. Third, what strategies are you going to use? So if you’ve noted a specific behavior or something that you want to change internally, maybe again, we’ll use the same example, stressed out, tired, you need to go to the gym, but you’re craving that shamrock shake. Okay, notice that. What’s the pattern interruption? What am I going to do differently this week? What am I going to try out? And then the biggest thing, after you try out that strategy, make sure you come back to the reflection. How did that work for me? Am I going to keep doing it in this way? So those are my big takeaways. It’s almost like a step by step. If you want to simplify it, understand, get curious, take an action off of that.

Cori (33:14):
And then pause again. Right?

Ashley (33:16):
It’s a cycle. It just keeps going. Yes!

Cori (33:19):
It does. We’re constantly learning and growing. And Ashley, thank you so much for all of this. I would love to hear how all of you are going to be using the power of the pause, what questions you really use to reflect and how you’ve shifted your environment, bargained with yourself, created those changes through really understanding where you’re at now and what you need to move forward during the most stressful times. There we go. Ashley, thank you again. It was fabulous to discuss the power of the pause with you.

Ashley (33:48):
Absolutely. Thanks, Cori.

 

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

How To Build Muscle (Using Double Progression)

How To Build Muscle (Using Double Progression)

by | Mar 23, 2025 | Blog, Exercises, Workouts

Gaining muscle is a slow process.

While you’d think being a more experienced exerciser would have its advantages, gaining muscle faster isn’t one of them. It actually gets harder the longer we’ve been training.

That’s why it is key, no matter our fitness level, that we focus on the double progression technique to maximize our efficiency and see better muscle and strength gains faster.

Before I go over what double progression is and how to use it in your routine, I want to shed some light on how quickly we can actually expect to see muscle gains, especially based on how long we’ve been training.

And I will tell you, one of the BIGGEST things holding many back from truly seeing their hard work pay off in the gym IS the nutritional component which I’ll touch on a tip at the end.

But in terms of how fast you can see results…

Lyle McDonald’s research shows us that a more newbie lifter can gain up to 1lbs per month as a woman and up to 2lbs as a male.

With each year of training that goes down.

At just even 4 years of training experience, which many of us have been training for decades even, muscle gains are just even a few pounds per YEAR. Yes, not per month, per year! Women can see .1lbs per month and men .25lbs per month.

And this is often when our training is even more optimized for results. Which honestly…most of our training routines aren’t.

Not in a bad way, we just don’t push the progression as much as we could because we’re worn out from life.

We include too much cardio.

We miss days.

We get bored and want to try something new over staying consistent.

Heck we even try to do too much to try to rush results.

Or we simply don’t really fuel to promote our hard work in the gym.

But we’re human! This is going to happen!

That’s why I think it’s key we not only A. Remember to be patient but B. Also take ourselves back to basics and refocus on quality and intentionality with those basic systems over just trying to work harder and do more.

And that’s why I want to remind you of this key training technique – double progression.

So what is double progression and how can you use it?

Have you ever in your workouts had a rep range of 6-12 reps and picked a weight, gotten 12 reps and just stayed there for all the sets?

It felt “hard enough?”

You could have pushed harder.

Or have you ever just done the bare minimum in reps with weights and then tried to go up in weight the next week only to find you can’t keep going heavier week after week in your progression and are maxed out?

You’ve wasted another way to progress!

Trust me, I’ve been guilty of these both at times. Trying to push too hard with only changing loads. Or just going to the top of the rep range and stopping there.

I’ve even had times where I’m constantly changing weights and reps all at the same time.

But this all holds us back even when we FEEL like we’re working hard.

It’s also not a strategic, intentional build that allows us to truly push and optimize.

And this is where Double Progression can help.

Double progression helps you progress the same move in two different ways – by adjusting reps and by adjusting weight, but with one driving the other.

This method regulates how you increase both volume but also intensity of your training.

So…How it works….

It can be used with any rep range you have assigned (let’s say you’re doing 6-12 reps).

Once you hit the top of that range for a certain number of sets (usually 1-3), you’ll increase weight (generally not more than 5-10 pounds).

You want this increase to force you back down toward the bottom of that rep range (so more like 6-8 reps).

You’ll then keep this weight until you can again hit 12 reps for 1-3 rounds. At that time, you’ll move back to increasing weight.

With this double progression, you’re first working to increase reps, which is volume, before then progressing by increasing weight, or the intensity.

This is that double progression.

An example of this may be if you’re doing Goblet Squats for 6-12 reps and you decide if you can do one set of 12 you’ll increase. You have 3 working sets.

You do 12 reps with your weight for your first round. So you go up.

The next round, you can only do 8 reps with the heavier weight. So you stay there for the final round, performing another 8 reps.

Next week you start with that same weight but do 10 reps. You can stay there for all 3 rounds.

The following week you again are able to do 12 reps so you go up.

This push to get out more reps with a weight before increasing is what helps you optimally drive muscle growth, maintaining proper form while constantly pushing that progression.

But there may be some times we misjudge weights, going too light or too heavy.

There may be times that you find you go up in weight and can again hit the top end of that range. Don’t be afraid to go up again.

There may also be times that you miss the bottom of the rep range when increasing weights.

If this happens, you may find you drop down to a weight between what you had used and the weight you’re now using.

If you don’t have a weight between or feel like you can maintain proper form with just a quick pause between a few reps, you may pause for 15-20 seconds to complete the reps.

Just then stay at this weight for longer to progress that volume.

If you are doing 3 rounds and find you miss the rep range on the first round, you can then either use the short pause to keep the weight over the rounds or even lower weights for the final rounds, knowing the lighter weight will be harder simply because of going heavier to start.

The key is to focus on increasing the number of reps you can do first with a weight before you then add weight over always just trying to go heavier.

But part of what also pushes you with double progression is not just stopping at a rep number because it’s the top one listed. This pushes you to truly test out your limits, even working down in reps as you add weight!

Don’t be afraid to use this technique with any lift you include in your workout routine where you really want to make sure you’re maximizing your efforts, especially if you’ve felt stuck in your progression!

Now, the one very side note I wanted to mention with nutrition to optimize your muscle gains…

Eat to fuel that growth!

If you’re putting in this work to build muscle in the gym, you need to make sure your diet is working with you, not against you.

Too often I see clients, especially after a weight loss phase, not eating enough. Partly because they’ve trained their body to function in a deficit and the hunger cues even aren’t there.

Partly because they are afraid of gaining fat, which I totally get.

But building muscle requires us to have adequate fuel to not only truly be able to train hard but also to build more muscle, which requires more energy to be maintained.

This doesn’t mean go crazy with the surplus, but if you’ve been struggling to build, you need to assess whether your diet is truly in line with your goals.

Be conscious that with building muscle, especially the more advanced you are, the more precise you sometimes need to be in optimizing your diet to complement.

But if you want to build more strength and muscle, make sure you’re using this double progression technique in your training while fueling those gains!

Dial in your workouts to build muscle and strength and see that amazing definition…

–> Learn more about Dynamic Strength

10 Reasons You Aren’t Seeing Results

10 Reasons You Aren’t Seeing Results

by | Mar 20, 2025 | podcast

Listen:

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Change Requires CHANGE

If you’re feeling stuck and know deep down that you could be doing better, don’t wait any longer. Your life is not going to change until you take action and make a bold move towards your goals. If you’re ready to take control of your life and start moving towards the results you want let us help you achieve your goals. ⬇️

APPLY NOW

Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast, everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. I want to talk about 10 reasons you aren’t seeing results. Number one being you’re more interested in being right than finding what’s right. All of us can get ego in what we’re doing, ego in our knowledge, but knowing isn’t doing, and we can know a lot of things and still not see the tweaks that meet us where we’re at. We’re also basing a lot of what we think is right on what has worked for us in the past. But guess what? You are exactly the same person right now that you were even two seconds ago. I think my hair just moved. We’re always evolving and changing and the more we get set in our ways and think of right and wrong as these very binary things over so much nuance in what could work a little bit better or what could work a little worse, the more we’re setting ourselves up for failure.

(00:53):
So I think a lot of times when we see that pushback of someone even suggesting something new or we get that pushback when someone suggests something new, we think instantly to ourselves, no, I’m right. There’s some defense of what we’re doing over being like, how could I be wrong? Or How could this be better? It doesn’t even have to be that you were wrong, it could just be better for you. Now we’re constantly doing new research that is proving new things too. So there’s so much opportunity in the options. So when something’s not working, instead of being like, well, these are all the things I’m doing right, say to yourself, how can I find a better way? Because if we get too caught up in being right over finding what’s right, we’re going to hold ourselves back. We’re going to shut ourselves down to all the options and opportunities out there.

(01:35):
Number two, you’re not making the one change you need to make and you’re looking for any way to defend against it. I actually had a conversation with somebody in Messenger the other day where I was talking to her and I’m like, Hey, you say you’re willing to make all these different changes and you say nothing’s working. What’s one change you’re fighting against or one area? You’re not really looking at your routine to assess. And we were talking about nutrition. She’s like, well, I’ve done all these different diets, and ultimately I was like, well, what about your workouts? No, I’m not changing my workouts. I’m like, right there is the problem. The one thing we aren’t willing to change is often thing that needs a little adjustment, and maybe it’s not in line with what our diet needs to be because of other hormonal factors. Maybe it’s not in line with hormonal shifts.

(02:15):
Maybe it’s not in line with our age, our schedule, whatever else it is. And it wasn’t that her workouts even worked fabulous. Maybe it wasn’t her workouts, but that unwillingness to look at them was going to hold her back not only from changing potential issues with them, but that was going to pop up somewhere else. Because a lot of times when we defend against changes in specific areas more, we’re putting up mental barriers against other changes. And so at some point we’re going to hold ourselves back from making a change that we really need. So the harder you’re fighting a change, the more you have to look at the change and be like, this might be the one change I really need. Number three, you simply give up before results have had time to snowball. So often that’s the case. We just need to keep going sucks because we sometimes don’t feel like we can see results happening, but that’s often also because we’re only measuring progress in one way.

(03:02):
So if you want that scale to change, you got to stop staring at the scale because it’s not going to change by staring at it by wanting it to change any faster. You have to celebrate the effort, you have to celebrate those habit changes. And so what you need to do is set ways to be successful in more ways by measuring progress in more than one way. I do believe that you can see progress towards your goals and know you’re on the right track pretty quickly, whether it’s changes in energy, changes in feeling fueled, changes in bloat, changes in just feeling healthier. There’s a lot of different ways we can know that we’re on the right path towards something and that the changes are paying off. And a lot of times it’s even owning. Am I actually doing the habits consistently? As silly as it sounds, I always think back to when I was trying to make a habit change when I was younger and my mom put a calendar out and then gave me gold stars and I could put the stars on each day.

(03:47):
Do that for yourself. If you’re doing that consistently and you’re doing that consistently for weeks on weeks on weeks, you’re going to see progress. And it might not happen again in the way that you want first, but you’re going to see progress. But you’ve got to assess that consistency because a lot of times you might notice there aren’t gold stars on specific days. We’ve missed things. Not to mention we are not recognizing all the time it took to get into our current situation. We’re seeing where we are right now. We want changes tomorrow, but we don’t see that actually a lot of these habits, the results we have now, they’re results of our past hustle, of our past habits and they have built up over years even the mindsets behind them that have kept parts of them ingrained. So sometimes it’s not that you need something different, you just need to keep going and making little tweaks to keep yourself consistent and dedicated, but you need to keep going.

(04:32):
Number four, you’re trying to avoid the hard. There is no way around it. If you try and go back from the hard, it’s basically like you’re trapped in the circle in the fence and you go up and you hit the hard and then you go back and then you go try and go a different way and you hit the hard and you come back and you’re still stuck in the same radius. You’re just trying to get around it and you can’t. You’re going to hit the hard in some different form, but it’s the same hard. It’s that you’re not willing to go that extra mile to push through that one pain. And I’ll tell you, we do this because we don’t want to fail, but failures are the best learning experience. They are what truly creates our growth, truly creates our strength that we don’t suffer through them as stinky as they might be.

(05:09):
We’re never going to build the strength to overcome. We’re never going to build that mental resilience. We’re never going to move forward towards our goals. The people who have succeeded the greatest have failed the most. We have to embrace that. So stop looking for a way around the heart. The sooner you embrace the heart, even the sooner you can overcome that obstacle, and guess what? The next time you face the heart, it’s not going to feel as hard because you’re going to be more comfortable being uncomfortable and pushing into it, leaning into that discomfort. Number five, you continue to try to focus on your limiting beliefs, not try to you do. You focus on those limiting beliefs. You tell yourself all the things you can’t. You let that inner critic become louder and louder and louder. And if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, this is a great quote by Wayne Dyer, and I think it’s important that we remember that our perspective shapes everything.

(06:00):
We can see something as an opportunity or an obstacle, and it’s very key that we recognize when we’re repeating our limiting beliefs to ourselves because they’re going to color how we approach everything. If you tell yourself you can’t, that you’re not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, you’re not going to be enough for that obstacle. But if you tell yourself, Hey, maybe I’m not even strong enough yet, but I’m going to find a way to get stronger. What’s one thing I can do to improve? You’re still testing that boundary, yet is a very powerful word to give yourself the opportunity to see that you might be able to grow into this. But only by pushing into it, only by questioning those limiting beliefs can you drive forward to reach your goals. Number six, so often we’re not taking ownership. Guess what? If you succeed or fail, it is your fault.

(06:45):
Yes, there are programs and plans that work better for us that speak to us in ways that help us move forward, but ultimately we have to take action. We have to determine what isn’t working and we have to move forward with things that are pushing us forward and we have to let go of things that aren’t working for us. We have to take ownership. It is our fault if something doesn’t work and we can’t keep placing blame outside of ourselves because ultimately, if you really think about what’s worked and what hasn’t, the only common denominator in a lot of those things is you. Yes, there are other things like, oh, it didn’t work to cut out different foods or it didn’t work to have hour long workouts. But that’s still about you and your priorities and your goals and the excuses you choose to make or the hard you choose to push through.

(07:25):
And I see this as a very empowering thing when I’m saying this. This isn’t a bad thing. I’m not saying you can control the rain or that isn’t going to have an impact. And I’m not saying we’re not going to get down on ourselves or do the woe is me, trust me. I do it far too frequently. But I do think it always is coming back to that ownership because that’s what helps us get up and move forward the next day and take that next step and always keep picking ourselves back up when we have fallen. But the more you take ownership, the more you’ll see your power in everything to make changes that move you forward. Number seven, you don’t own your priorities and they become your excuses. Take a look at your excuses right now. A lot of these excuses probably are stemming from things you value, you prioritize in your life or the priorities that you do have and then the impact they have on your lifestyle.

(08:09):
But we need to own what is a priority for us? What is a non-negotiable? Because otherwise it will pop up in our excuses and we’re not planning for it because the reality is our life. A lot of times there are things we can’t change, but we can own those things and then we can plan around them. So right now, if time is your excuse, why are you trying to force an hour long workout? If time is your excuse, why aren’t you steering into getting a few more meals prepped by somebody else or having a few restaurant meals in there? Why are you trying to force a specific meal prep? Why are you trying to force a specific workout routine? Own your priorities because it will help you overcome a lot of those excuses. And it’s not always sexy, but taking it back to those 1% changes, those silly simple habit swaps really adds up.

(08:49):
Number eight, you aren’t constantly reflecting. We learn more in the reflecting than in the doing a lot of times. But if you’re not constantly stepping back to assess what is my goal? Is it still important to me? How are my habits working? Does something need to shift? Especially as the excuses pop up, the motivation starts to fade because what works for one season doesn’t work for another. During the holidays, you’re starting to be like, oh, this doesn’t feel sustainable. The effort doesn’t feel worth the outcome. Okay, well own that. Step back and reflect what’s changed that now makes some of those habits that didn’t even feel bad before, not feel like they are worth it. Maybe you can change the habits and how you’re implementing them because balance isn’t just a set it and forget it finite thing. There is always the act of balancing.

(09:33):
So the more we can really step back and look at everything and constantly reflect, the more we’re going to see opportunity for growth and improvement. And I actually, I read this today and I can’t remember where I read it, but it was a great example of giving more feedback during a time or right after a game where athletes had won. And I thought this was a very interesting thing because I do think we’re more often going to reflect on failures, try and brush past ’em as fast as possible, but we’ll reflect on the failures, beat ourselves up over them. But then a lot of times when we’ve had that success, we then don’t reflect on, Hey, what’s still something we could have improved? Not only what worked, but what’s still something we can improve while we’re in that positive mindset? And I think that’s a very important perspective to take because it also reduces our resistance against feedback at times where maybe something didn’t go as planned.

(10:21):
We’re more willing to reflect. So reflect on those winning experiences, not only to see the good, but to even see the opportunity for growth when you’ve done a lot, right? That will help you see those 1% changes that really pay off. Number nine, you excuse 1% deviations. This is the most dangerous. Well, it’s not that bad. I don’t need to track this little bit of this or Oh, it’s not bad, I just missed this one. Workout deviations are going to happen and you are going to miss that workout. You are not going to log that one thing. But the more we start to get into that habit of excusing them and justifying them to ourselves, the more we’re going to become complacent, the more they’re going to creep in. So saying, Hey, I had to miss this workout for X, Y, and Z reason, but I’m doing this, this, and this as my game plan to move forward is different than letting yourself off the hook.

(11:06):
And I think that’s important that we really note that there’s letting yourself off the hook and there’s giving yourself grace for being human and for life getting in the way. But the mindset and attitude we take with it is very different. Instead of excusing it and justifying it, it’s saying, Hey, this had to happen. Here’s what I’m doing instead. And it’s making sure that you have that clear game plan so that you do something to move yourself forward in terms of shifting your mindset, shifting your habits, shifting your routine, not just excusing it and letting those things slide because we get complacent then, and that’s where we don’t see things snowball and it can still even feel like we’re working just as hard while we’re seeing our results fade. And number 10, you’re constantly searching for an aha moment instead of looking for reminders that connect dots and help you tweak.

(11:48):
I bring this up because I know I am incredibly guilty of it. I do read new things and what’s some magic secret out there? Even though I know there’s not going to be one. And the more I’ve stopped searching for some big thing that’s completely different than what I’ve done because I’ve had people even start the Macro Hawks Program or Metabolic Shred or different programs like that and be like, I was expecting some new magic ratio. Sorry, there probably isn’t any, but if you were to read this and test it out, you might realize that the ratio is done in this order with this framing all of a sudden is that aha moment that makes things click. And so the more I started reading and looking at programs and just listening to podcasts from that perspective of what’s a phrasing to something that I haven’t heard?

(12:27):
Or how are things being said, even like the same description of the basics said in a different way that maybe I can now connect a new dot for myself. Because hearing something that we’ve even heard a thousand times before said in a new phase of life can all of a sudden make things click. And the more we look for those tweaks and everything and the more we hear the nuance and even how something’s being said, the more value we can get where it can end up being the aha moment we need. It just didn’t seem like that big a change to start. So these are 10 reasons why I feel like we often hold ourselves back or how we hold ourselves back from seeing the results we want. And if you’ll notice, none of ’em are macros really or none. Of’em are workout tips because so much relates back to our mindset. Our mindset will shape all the other systems that we really need to enact. So if we can get our mindset framing the changes we need to make in the right way, we’re going to see better results faster. Hope these really helped. I’d love to hear which one really resonated with you the most of all these different tens so that you can really get working towards your goals today.

 

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

I SHOULD be in better shape

I SHOULD be in better shape

by | Mar 16, 2025 | Blog, Diet, Exercises, Mindset

SHOULD.

That one word often sabotages the mindset changes we need to make and habit actions we need to take.

“I “should” be further along.”

Only makes us frustrated and feel broken and like a failure. It doesn’t help us learn or want to make more changes.

“I “should” workout 6 days a week.” “I “should” track my macros.”

Ideals are fabulous. But if you can’t do them?

We often do NOTHING.

We need to, as one of my fabulous coaches says “Stop SHOULDING all over ourselves.”

Because when we say all the things that SHOULD be happening, we don’t focus on what we actually CAN do.

SHOULD prevents us from making a change.

I’d encourage you right now to even ask, “Why SHOULD you do this? Why SHOULD you be further along?”

Because so often we never really ask this important question.

And when we do, we pause to assess what we are actually doing and what we need to move forward. The mindsets we CAN shift and the actions we CAN take.

That’s why in this video I want to share 3 steps you can take TODAY to honestly create an action plan to move forward toward your goals.

Starting with Step #1 asking yourself this important question…

“What does my CURRENT lifestyle and results actually look like?”

Where you are right now is a result of your past hustle and current habit practices.

The dieting practices you’ve done, starving yourself, cutting out whole food groups.

Overeating in self sabotage when you can’t stand the restriction any longer.

The skipped warm ups that lead to overuse and injury.

The rushed workouts where you didn’t fully push that progression or challenge yourself – you just got through them.

The haphazard programming and randomly strung together “best moves,” “best foods,” “best macros,” hoping something works….

This lack of planning and lack of focusing on owning our CURRENT lifestyle and priorities when we seek to make a change and instead just trying to work HARDER or do MORE based on a certain ideal…

This is what leads to the SHOULDING and stops us from making changes.

So step 1, before you go in search of a “perfect plan,” which doesn’t exist and I’ll get into more shortly, is to OWN YOUR LIFESTYLE AND PRIORITIES FIRST.

When you step back and truly assess what your lifestyle is and where your priorities lie, you can plan around them as you make changes and meet yourself where you are at.

What habits are truly beneficial that you’re doing?

What habits are holding you back?

What excuses do you always seem to make that lead to you falling off your plan?

When we ask these questions and assess, we can find little changes that meet us where we are at to move us forward.

We can start to build a plan that is actually sustainable.

Because if you don’t know where you’re starting from, you can’t outline a route forward.

And if we don’t own our priorities, they become our excuses every single time.

Family pressures and events? Long hours at work?

Not enough time always your excuse?

Stop then trying to force some ideal training schedule of 6 days a week and 1 hour in the gym.

Instead, especially if you’re barely making 3 sessions of 30 minutes now, why not start with that?

There is no perfect plan. But there is progress. And small changes to build lead to consistency which yields results!

Step #2, write out where you’re going.

And I don’t just mean write out your goals here. I want you to consider what the lifestyle at your goals will actually LOOK like.

Because it won’t look the same as what you’re doing now.

Change requires change.

If what you’re doing now worked to see results, you wouldn’t be looking for another program, another thing you SHOULD be doing.

You’d just keep doing the habits you’re already repeating.

But in order to make changes, we have to understand what changes are actually needed.

And while we may not have the full picture, we can often highlight a few things we know we will either need to do MORE of or LESS of to be at our goals.

As you list out the lifestyle your goals would require, don’t think right now about if it is doable. Don’t let the changes overwhelm you.

Just consider what you may need to do and even think about WHY.

The WHY part of that is key. Because often we don’t understand why we make certain changes or believe certain things are “best.”

This assessment of why we believe we need certain habits can help us already start to see things that may not fit or that may not be needed to then find other habits that are more in line.

Especially since you know where you are right NOW! You can start to see how many ideals you have that aren’t anywhere close to what you’re doing.

It may be eye opening to realize how far off you are from the habits you need, or believe you need. It can make us think…

“Well no wonder I’ve struggled to make some of these changes in the past! They’re a complete 180 from where I am!”

But don’t let this overwhelm you. Just write everything down. No judgement. No stress as to what you can or can’t do.

We will get there.

And I say write it down because writing it down makes it more real and tangible. It gives you a set destination to map out a route toward, breaking down those habit changes.

It reminds you of what you may need and even WHY you may need it when there are lows in the journey.

And it also then allows you to find one habit change to start with that may then impact other areas.

Often there is one thing that can really get the momentum going…

Which brings me to Step #3, set one small change you can make even right now!

Sometimes we make changes like we’re covering our eyes and simply pointing at a city on a map to drive to. Or like we’re just picking a place to go we’ve heard is “best.”

Then we expect ourselves to just know how to get there. And for everything to go smoothly and be amazing.

The thing is…

Without directions, we have no idea how to get there and half the time we won’t even make an attempt to travel.

How do we know that is even a place we WANT or need to go?!

We don’t always know what is required to shift in our lifestyle to replicate the habit or change we’ve selected.

We don’t know even if that change is something doable with our current routines and habits and how those will have to morph.

Instead, we want to base all changes off of where we are starting from.

We want to treat it like we’re mapping out that first turn out of our driveway to get to our destination. Not just pointing to some random turn somewhere along the route!

Because starting your journey by turning the wrong way right out of your driveway? That journey is not going to go well.

Instead, meet yourself where you are at and make sure you’re heading in the right direction with a doable step immediately.

This allows you to not only make a change that feels doable to build momentum and motivation through action, but it allows you to start the course toward a bigger habit change.

And it allows you to make changes in a way that can allow for easier course corrections.

We do have to start trying to find what may be “best” for a specific goal without fully knowing if it is best for us.

But by breaking down that habit based on where we are starting from and ultimately where we want to go, we can attempt to move forward to build up.

In the process, if we find that the habit doesn’t fully align, we can then always take another turn, knowing we’re still heading the right way.

That’s the key.

Changes that meet us where we are at to move forward but that build off each other so we can adjust as we go and find things that do or do not ultimately match our specific journey.

So based on your current lifestyle and routines you’ve just assessed, what is one small change you can make today that is a component of what you feel you need MORE of to reach your destination.

I say to focus on the MORE of instead of LESS of because often mentally these changes are easier to make. We mind adding more than we like subtracting, especially if what we think we need less of is something we enjoy.

But find that habit change that is, as weird as this expression is, the first bite to eat that elephant.

And write that change out to start today.

This isn’t sexy. Doesn’t lead to overnight results. But this momentum shift is what will carry you through and make you want to do more.

Because getting started with all the things we feel we SHOULD be doing is the hardest part.

This helps us take action and makes something we SHOULD do something we not only CAN do but even WANT and GET to do.

Write out that change and put it someplace you can see daily for the next week. Even give yourself a chance to check it off when it is done.

Then set a time a week from now to add on another change.

Stop SHOULDING all over yourself and ultimately never taking action. Start with action today and do these 3 steps and share in the comments the first small change you’re making!

If you want a completely CUSTOM PROGRAM with accountability and guidance to help you build your leanest, strongest body no matter your age (it is NEVER too late to make a change), check out my Coaching.

–> Apply and schedule a free consultation