FHP 630 – 10 Reasons Why We Fail
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Cori (00:00):
Hey guys, this is Cori from Redefining Strength. Welcome to the Fitness Hacks Podcast. This is the show where I share all my free workout and nutrition tips. I’m not going to ever fill this episode with sponsorships or ask you to buy anything. All I ask in return is if you’re enjoying the podcast to leave a review or leave a five star rating or even better share it with somebody you think it might help. This will only take a few minutes and would mean the world to me and possibly change the life of someone. So let’s jump right in 10 reasons why we fail. Now, you may be thinking, I’m going to say, oh, your macros weren’t right. Your work workouts weren’t right. You have genetic predisposition for this not to work or it’s your hormonal imbalance. But I’m not going to say any of those things because often it isn’t that we don’t have the right plan.
(00:48):
It isn’t that we’re doomed because of our situation. There is always a way to move forward. The issue is, is that often we’re not really assessing what’s going on and our mindsets aren’t backing up our actions. So I wanted to talk about the 10 most common reasons. I feel that we truly fail in reaching our goals. Number one, being the biggest, most important probably if you don’t listen to anything else in this podcast, you got to listen to this one. We simply give up. That’s it. We start something, we hit a hard point, and when we get that shock of the hard, we say, oh, this isn’t for me. We don’t feel comfortable pushing through it, and we go back to our comfort zone. And so we start a new program and guess what? We get to that same hard point. We get that shock up and we go back.
(01:33):
So we’re never pushing that comfort zone. We’re never pushing that boundary. We’re never pushing past that hard to see what is truly possible for us. We give up and if you probably look at every time you repeat the same cycle, you give up probably near the same point. Yeah, sure. Maybe it’s one time because you had to cut carbs and you didn’t like cutting out carbs. Maybe another time it’s because you had to do six workouts a week when you really can only usually do four. But it’s always because we’ve created some system that really isn’t realistic and we encountered some hard that goes against a pattern we’ve repeated. So we turn back. If you want a new and better result, you have to embrace the hard. There is a downside to every upside. And if you can’t say, Hey, is this this downside to the upside?
(02:13):
Is this the discomfort of my brain saying, no, I don’t like this, so I don’t want to do that. And coming up with all the reasons why now I shouldn’t do it, to just default back into what I really want to do because it’s comfortable. It’s what I’ve always done. You got to question that because at some point you got to choose to push through it. Even saying, Hey, this is an experiment. Maybe it won’t work out, but at least I’ll show myself that I can be comfortable being uncomfortable and that will help you move forward. But I can tell you I see it at 30 days a lot of times with certain programs or six weeks or nine weeks where we hit that point where we feel like we deserve more for the effort we’ve been putting in, and we always quit at that point.
(02:44):
If we just kept pushing through what feels like a plateau, what feels like a dead zone would probably show that snowball. But the simple fact is we don’t keep going. So often I would tell you, stop looking for a new macro ratio. Stop looking for a new workout plan. Say, Hey, am I doing all the habits consistently? If your consistency is actually there, keep going. You’re closer often than you think. Number two, we don’t assess why something happened. So I’ll put clients on a higher protein ratio and all of a sudden things will change. Our body doesn’t like change, so it does respond, but they’ll see an increase on the scale or they’ll see a change in something else and they’ll be like, oh, it’s the protein. And I’ll be like, well, no, you’re attributing causation where there might not be any. And when we truly dive into it, yes, the protein was part of it in that they increased the protein, but in that they changed all these other foods.
(03:29):
They changed their meal timing, they changed their fiber, they changed their hydration. So it wasn’t really the protein. They would’ve stopped doing the protein. It was a thing they at least wanted to do. It was the thing that was most uncomfortable. So they were finding reasons not to do it. We do ourselves with doubt in that way. We go to the thing that we at least want to do, but we don’t say, Hey, what other things could actually be at work? Could be the true culprit. And so then tweaking their water intake or in tweaking the mealtime or in tweaking the fiber intake because that dropped with trying to increase the protein, which again, shifts do happen. Then there’s still high protein ratio if they maintain that, they would see results. So we have to really ask yourself, why is something happening? Why am I feeling this way?
(04:07):
Why might I be seeing the result? And I even bring this up because effort doesn’t equal outcome. And a lot of times what feels like a lot of effort is just something very different, something very against what we want to do or what we’ve always done. And so in even just tracking what we’re currently doing, that can feel like a lot of effort because tracking alone is hard. But if we’re tracking what we’re currently doing, even though it feels like we’re giving a lot of effort, we haven’t made one change right there. We’re just assessing right now our current lifestyle. Yes, sometimes in tracking we are holding ourselves more accountable, so we will see changes snowball because we’re becoming more aware. So we’re making changes, but a lot of times we’re doing a new habit but not truly making a change with that new habit.
(04:45):
And it’s hard to do that new habit and even bring those unconscious habits we’ve been currently repeating to light to try and start to break them. But that effort isn’t true, changes that lead to a true outcome. So we have to assess, okay, why am I feeling like I deserve more? Why is this feeling like so much effort? Am I actually making the change? And then from there, we can build off of it and sometimes the effort doesn’t fully feel worth it. So we have to change how we’re approaching those habit changes, but we need to assess why to get to the heart of the change we actually need to make or what may be going on that may not be working. Sometimes even assessing, Hey, is it really that I think I’m being better than I am? Are there deviations I’m not owning? Because while we think of that as like, oh, I am doing it.
(05:23):
Oh, see, opportunity maybe in the fact that you’re not doing it as perfectly as you could be, or there is room for improvement. I mean that growth is so key, but assess why something truly happened. Don’t just write something off as not working before you really dive in because that can make us throw out habits that we really need or that would really work for us. Number three, we only judge success based on one outcome. I know you want to lose weight. I know you want to gain muscle. I know you want to PR in that race, but a lot of times we have to see success in other ways in order to keep it the habits that will earn us that outcome. So if we see how much further we have to go to our goal, like, oh no, I have this much further to increase my time or improve my time for that race, or, oh no, I haven’t gained this much muscle.
(06:04):
I have so much further to go. We ignore all the progress we’ve truly already made, but we also sabotage ourselves from doing the habits that we need to keep moving forward towards that goal. Just because we’re not getting there fast enough, but inch by inch, we’re still moving forward. So we have to find other ways to measure success, to make us keep wanting to do the habits. It’s actually an interesting example, and this came up in a conversation with Michelle, but a client was like, well, I’m not losing weight as fast as I’d like. I’m not losing weight right now. She had hit a plateau and we were starting to focus more on quality foods, so adding in those fruits and vegetables, and she’s like, I don’t even know why I’m making the effort to add in the fruits and vegetables. And it was sort of an eyeopening thing because yeah, you haven’t seen the result necessarily pay off yet in weight loss, but this is improving your health.
(06:46):
You’re sleeping better, your energy is better, you’re feeling more full and satisfied all these other things were happening that she was ignoring. So we have to realize that in order to keep herself doing the habits that we often need to do past the point we want to quit, we have to measure success in other ways. We have to track our numbers and our workouts to see the improvements. We have to assess, am I feeling more energized? Am I sleeping better? How am I feeling? Or is my skin looking clear? What are the other things that could be a payoff from the habits that I’m doing? Because the more ways we measure success, the more ways we have to be successful, the more we’re going to embrace the process. Because habit changes aren’t always fun, process isn’t always fun, but we have to find ways to enjoy the journey, and that’s often in seeing success in other ways.
(07:27):
Number four, we never start at the wrong time. This is a very unpopular one, but I think it is truly the secret to success. I can’t tell you how many times over the last few years I’ve really embraced being like, I don’t want to do this right now. Okay, so I’m going to do this right now. And in doing that, a lot of times I make sustainable habit changes. I see results snowball more because there are going to be points where motivation is higher, where things are working for us so that we can do things optimally based on some ideal that we have or go full steam ahead, implementing more changes at once because we don’t have other life priorities getting in the way. But in order to capitalize on those times even better, we have to learn to move forward during the times that aren’t as ideal.
(08:06):
A lot of times, if you think about the weight loss cycle we see for people over the year, and even with ourselves a lot of times January, we’re more motivated. We make changes based on having that motivation based on having potentially a time where we’re not traveling, there’s not the holidays, there’s not all these different things going on. And so we implement habits based on the time and then summer hits where we’re on vacation or the holidays hit where we’re celebrating more of family and all of a sudden we can’t do what we were doing during that time. And now we have no habits because we didn’t really build that stack. We just sort of forced ourselves in the mold. So even starting during the holiday season and learning how you can handle and navigate those times to then be able to capitalize on the January motivation with those habits already stacked up.
(08:43):
So you further ahead going into the summer and shifting your habits based on that time can help you really keep moving forward because we have to make our lows less low. If we want our highs to be higher, we have to have that solid foundation off a witch to build. And if we’re not ever embracing doing the minimum doing those 1% improvements during the wrong time, we’re not going to truly see lasting results. So I would tell you, if you’re always waiting for the perfect time to start, you’re probably never starting fully or you’re ending up giving up on something that might be working because the habits just don’t fit instead of finding a way to do the minimum. But we have to shift our mindset, and this really goes back to even something is better than nothing. A 1% improvement over the holiday season this year is going to make a difference.
(09:22):
It’s not a 1% improvement over what you did in January in the holiday season. It’s a 1% improvement on the holiday season from the holiday season the last year. We have to measure times based on that same time and the habits and priorities that mattered at that time. Number five, we never embrace the new us. When you are reaching a new goal, you are becoming a new person. You are implementing new habits, you are building a new lifestyle. This is not a bad thing. We act as if, oh, you’ve changed and we see this as a bad thing. But all growing up we were constantly changing. And honestly, every single day you’re alive. You are constantly changing. Don’t you just want to control the direction of that change? I do. And so that’s why I always think, okay, with this I’m stepping into a new identity.
(10:04):
It all goes back to the act as if instead of faking it till you make it. Because if you’re just faking it until you make it, you’re implementing habits potentially they don’t really believe in, they don’t really feel like will become part of your lifestyle. And then the second you get into that same situation and you’re going to default back into handling it the way you’ve always handled it. And I’m not saying that we don’t want to go out and celebrate girls’ night like we’ve always done, but finding our new balance, understanding how that impacts our new lifestyle and the goals we want to achieve is really key. And I’ve had clients even say, Hey, I really sat down and said I usually have this croissant when I go out to this one place, but this time I was like, I want results in this way.
(10:38):
I’m choosing not to have it. And that’s the amazing thing. We’re not restricting things. We’re choosing what we’re going to include and not include, and we can make a different choice at a different point. But it’s also realizing is this really part of who I am and what I want? Do I really get enjoyment or have I gotten enjoyment in the past out of this because I didn’t have the other things I now have? So it’s assessing what truly makes me happy. Now realizing there’s always going to be the pullback to who and what we were. We can feel it. Even today, you can think about things from your childhood patterns that you repeated, holidays you celebrate in specific ways that you’re drawn to. There’s always that pull back to the old us. But a lot of times we have to say, Hey, how does this fit into the new lifestyle and building?
(11:17):
I don’t think we consider that enough about thinking about us as a new us with these things and not in a bad way. We’re changing to be our best selves. That’s what we’re always seeking to have is growth. Number six. We try to force one standard all the time. And this goes back to never starting at the wrong time and always waiting for the right time to start, but your life is going to ebb and flow. Your motivation is going to ebb and flow. Your priorities are going to shift. And the more we own these things, the more we can plan around them. But the more we try and force one mold onto ourselves the entire time, the more we’re going to feel like we’re trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Because what you do in January through the season where you’re maybe not traveling as much or it’s colder, and so you’re not wanting to go out and party, at least maybe that’s me, but during January, February, March, I’m like, all right, I’m a little bit more motivated to dial things in.
(12:05):
I’m going to do it. But in the summer, I want the chips and guac. I want to go out for that margarita a little bit more frequently. So my habits are different during the holidays, I know my habits are going to be different. I even know that I have to approach things in different ways. I can maybe get away with not tracking quite as rigidly during the summer and doing more protein minimums, calor caps. But during the holiday seasons, I use that as an excuse to not see what I’m doing and then eat a whole heck of a lot of things that sabotage my results and make me feel like I’m starting over. So I don’t like that. So I know I have to have a different habit then even though I, maybe I’m not doing the same habits I’m doing during January. So the more we can meet ourselves where we’re at and realize that our priorities will shift, and if we get busy at work, maybe we have to go back to three workouts a week.
(12:42):
The more we can make ourselves feel successful, the more we can meet ourselves where we’re at, and the more we’re going to see that growth through those 1% improvements. And then you might be surprised by how much your habits ultimately even out over the year because of taking this approach. And you’re not always relying on motivation, but you’ve built that discipline through doing those minimums. But just realize you can’t force one standard all the time. You’re going to feel unmotivated at points, stare into it, but do something because steering into it over trying to force something that ultimately makes you feel burnt out so you don’t do anything. Number seven, we fall prey to believing we deserve more. You don’t deserve anything. I tell this to myself a lot because I’ll be like, I deserve to see results. I’m working so hard. We don’t deserve anything.
(13:23):
That’s the sucky hard truth of the matter. Yes, putting in the effort, we want the outcome, putting in the effort and the daily habits does build the outcome generally, but exactly how that outcome looks. We can’t fully control. We can’t control some things that come up in our life, but we can see those things as opportunity or obstacle. And so often if we sabotage ourselves by just saying, I deserve more, and letting that feeling get in the way, we won’t take that step back to assess, Hey, where maybe am I not putting in as much work? Or where am I saying this feels like a lot of effort, but I’m not truly making changes. How can I break things down to make it feel less like I’m putting in so much effort to not the results I deserve? So how can we make that pain a little bit less so that it feels like the outcome we’re getting is worth the effort we’re putting in?
(14:06):
Or how can I just say suck it up buttercup and keep pushing through? Because I think this is where we often encounter the hard I deserve results. I’m pushing into this hard thing I don’t want to be doing. Instead of saying, Hey, that is what success is, struggle. And I am hitting that point where I want to quit, and I know if I push through that hard, I feel so much better. Because sometimes just even saying that stepping back and pushing through we’re like, I feel so good. I mean, think about that workout you don’t want to do when you make yourself do it, a lot of times you’re like, yeah, you feel even better for having done something you didn’t want to do. So I think we have to recognize that feeling like we deserve more often comes just because we are putting in a lot of effort.
(14:40):
We’re doing it on days we don’t want to do it, but those are the days that really make or break us, and those are the days we need to push through even more. So if you’re starting to feel like, Hey, I deserve more, take that step back. Assess why, see what can do to potentially steer into the skit if things are too much right now, but also just even say, Hey, I am going to tell myself to suck it up. Buttercup, push through the hard and I’m going to feel even better for it. Number eight, we don’t pause to appreciate how far we’ve come. I am incredibly guilty of this. I’m like, but I want to go over there. And I’m like, oh, I accomplished that check. Okay, now what’s the next thing? If we don’t pause to appreciate how far we’ve come though, we can get very discouraged by how far we often have to go.
(15:18):
And really life is a never ending journey of improvements. When you reach one goal, you’re probably going to set another one and setting one, potentially other habits are going to slide. And then you’re going to be like, oh, well now I want to work more towards this goal. So you might say, oh, I got a little leaner. Okay, now I want to add a little bit muscle. Okay, now I want to get a little bit leaner. Okay, now I want to add a little bit muscle. Okay, now I’m going to just see what I can get away with while maintaining my goal. But there’s always some focus, something we want more out of. And I think being okay with that is key, but that’s also where we have to pause to appreciate all the changes we’ve made. At times we have to reflect on how good we truly have it.
(15:50):
You’re not going to be happy all the time. Happy is a fleeting emotion. A lot of times we’re sort of just existing as negative as that sounds. It’s not meant to be negative, but you’re just existing. And I think even embracing that happy is a feeling that you’re going to have to strive to feel is also important in this journey. But that comes from pausing to appreciate at times, and maybe you said on your calendar, I’m going to pause to appreciate it. Maybe you set vacations where you have a little time to reflect, but set times to really recognize how your hard work has already paid off all the changes you made. Heck, even celebrate the strength that you have now in what you’ve overcome and how much more comfortable being uncomfortable in certain ways you are. Those are all wins. Those have all made you grow in some way as a person and improve this life that you have and this journey that you’re on.
(16:31):
But pause to appreciate how far you’ve come, not just always staying focused on what’s ahead of you. And then number nine, we ignore 1% deviations. Things add up more than we realize. All of a sudden we’ve sort of reached our goals and we’re like, okay, well I don’t have to track as strictly. And that little snack that we grab as we’re going past the cabinet, that handful of nuts we don’t log, and then one handful of nuts becomes a little extra sauce here or a bigger portion, or it’s 32, 33 grams versus 30. And while all these things are small, they start to add up and they start to lead to a mental slide. Oh, well, I skipped one workout. So who cares about being perfect with my macros today? And while it might seem small and it is small, if we catch it, those little deviations can quickly lead us off course.
(17:16):
I think it’s the airplane going from JFK to Japan can end up in the ocean if it’s one degree off when it takes off. Don’t quote me on that one. I had some debate about this analogy at some point, but I think that’s the analogy. But basically, we can end up completely off course through those 1% deviations that do snowball. So sometimes if you feel like you’re losing progress or the results aren’t adding up the way you want, look at where there’s areas for growth in the current systems you’re doing. It’s a lot easier to tweak than to freak out and go find something new and try and implement that and all the changes that will come with that new system. So think about how can I use what I’m already doing and make it even better? Use it to its fullest, get that little bit extra out of it before I have to go make a dramatic change.
(17:56):
And if you’re saying, Hey, there really is nothing to adjust, that’s where you try and make the 1% improvement off of that. Even slightly switching macro breakdown, slightly adjusting workout progressions changing up a move, but the smaller the change, the better. But don’t ignore those 1% deviations. Or if you’re starting to feel like nothing’s working, assess if there were 1% deviations that you just have ignored that are snowballing. And last but not least, number 10, we think we’re beyond the basics. The more advanced you are, the more you need to return to the basics. I think a lot of times the more we know, the more we think, okay, there’s got to be something else, or we search for something advanced or we search for some aha moment. And ultimately there really isn’t any. The longer I’ve been in this, the more I realize that everything goes back to the basics and tweaks to them to match what we need right now.
(18:38):
A lot of times if something isn’t working any longer that used to work, it just needs to be adjusted because our body isn’t in the same position. Our lifestyle isn’t in the same position. But results are really built off of tweaks, not massive overhauls of things. We don’t want to be knocking down the building to rebuild it. We want to fix whatever little cracks we can to make it even better. So don’t ever think you’re beyond the basics and the more you think, well, I’m advanced. I don’t need to watch this, or I’m advanced, I don’t need to do this. No, you need to do it even more because probably in searching for new and more advanced techniques, you’ve forgotten a lot of the basics or they’ve slid in their implementation, or you could optimize them a little bit more. I always go back to that basic body weight loo bridge.
(19:11):
No matter how much I can hip thrust or do a weight GL bridge, because I want to go back to that basics of making sure that everything is correct, focusing on the pressure in my feet, focusing on my upper body engagement, focusing on that posterior pelvic tilt. We want to take things back to the basics to make sure that foundation is solid and also knock ourselves down a peg. I think we lose that appreciation for being that learner, which also makes it hard then to be coachable, to embrace a new program to embrace change. So the more we can sort of say, I’m always going to be that beginner, I’m always going to be that learner of new things and see it as an opportunity to improve things that are below what my ego wants to tell me. I’m now above the more we’re going to see results.
(19:49):
You’re never above those basics, and the more you can say, Hey, I’m really advanced. I need to go back to step one, the more you’re going to see amazing improvements because hearing something said that you’ve heard said a thousand times, just set it a different time in a different context, all of a sudden, a light bulb can go off. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had that happen, but just to reiterate, all the reasons we often fail aren’t really because we don’t have a perfect plan, a right macro ratio, a right workout routine. It’s because we haven’t assessed how all the systems are working together and our mindsets behind our actions. Because a lot of times it is mentally that we are letting things slide, that we are letting ourselves out the hook that we’re not pushing through. So a lot of the work we often need to do if we want to see better results is asking why question ourself, building that self-awareness, and really stepping back at times to look at the overall system and how it’s all working together. Thanks for listening to the Fitness Hack Podcast. Again, this is the place where I share all my free workout nutrition tips. I’m never going to run sponsorships or ask you to buy anything. All I ask in return is if you’re enjoying the podcast to leave a rating review or share it with someone you think it might help. This will only take a few minutes and it would mean the world to me and possibly change the life of someone you know
*Please Note: this transcript is auto-generated and there may be some errors in the transcript