Cori Lefkowith, Author at Redefining Strength Page 4 of 156

Tips For Healthy Eating (And How To Be More Mindful)

by Cori Lefkowith | Apr 10, 2025 | podcast

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Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast, everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. Let’s talk about being more mindful. When we munch, it can be very easy to eat for a whole host of reasons and not be conscious of the calories we’re consuming and the impact they’re having and what this is really doing to our body. So I’m super excited to be joined by amazing registered dietician, Julia, to talk about being more mindful when we munch. Julia, welcome. I’d love to hear your thoughts on mindful munching.

Julia (00:38):
Thank you. I’m happy to be here. As we know, eating mindfully really helps us bring that intention to the food that we’re choosing and eating, like you said. So the ultimate goal with mindful munching is really to cultivate a healthy relationship with food, to improve our digestion and really learn how to eat in a balanced way that allows us to hit our goals.

Cori (01:00):
So as you know, and I know you are too, we’re big advocates of macro tracking, and I don’t see being more mindful as the opposite of macro tracking. And I do want to get into intuitive eating and how that plays a role and what that really is, but how can being more mindful go with macro tracking to help you really reach your goals?

Julia (01:23):
Yeah, definitely. So the first thing is it really allows us to be intentional, like you were saying. So when we don’t take the time to think about why we’re eating, we can allow those temporary emotions to take over, whether this be stress, boredom, social pressures, or even just aimlessly eating whatever is in front of us because we’re hungry in the moment. So that tracking really helps us bring that intentionality back to the choices that we are making. And then the next issue that we kind of find is that a lot of times when we’re rushed, food can enter our stomach before it’s even ready. So with tracking and being intentional, we’re able to really also kind of dial in on that digestion process where we’re able to better break down our food, chew it properly, improve our digestion, and give our natural satiety signals a chance to really kick in, which also prevents overeating. So through that mindfulness, we’re able to stimulate the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, often referred to as that rest and digest. So not only is this going to help boost our gut health or digestion, but it’s also really key for those of us looking for weight loss and body recomposition through macro tracking as well.

Cori (02:32):
It’s such an interesting thing because we think what feels natural or our hunger cues are just, well, they’re there, right? It’s our body telling us something, but we don’t realize how much of what’s natural, what our body is. Singly is something that we’ve trained even through previous dieting practices, and so that can make it hard to eat intuitively when we have a specific goal. Can you go over what intuitive eating really is and how being mindful is slightly different from it and how all this works together?

Julia (03:04):
Yeah, so intuitive eating is a way that you’re eating to honor your cravings, your hunger and fullness cues. But the goal being to foster a healthier relationship with food in theory, it is a wonderful concept that we as humans should be able to have the ability to choose what our bodies are needing day-to-day. However, like you brought up, for those of us who have a history of undereating emotional eating or eating a poor quality diet, because our food system is saturated with highly palatable addictive foods, our intuition is probably not going to be the most accurate reflection of what our body actually needs because our current cravings are heavily influenced by how we currently eat, like you said. So you look at someone who has a history of extreme dieting, they probably don’t have the proper hunger cues telling them when they need to eat because their metabolism is downregulated and adapted to that low intake.

(04:00):
You look at someone who craves sugar constantly throughout the day, that could be the result of dysregulated blood sugar from undereating on certain foods like protein, fat, and fiber. And I also just really quickly want to highlight a study that was done, I believe in 2023. It was pretty recent, and it actually showed that as humans, if our protein needs are unmet, we’ll continue to overeat predominantly on carbohydrate and fat rich foods leading to weight gain in an efforts to meet that goal and get that satiety. So while intuitive eating is a great long-term goal for most of us, it’s often not the first step that we need to take to get there.

Cori (04:39):
It’s all about learning what portions we need. And I bring this up too because I think a lot of times we’ll start tracking macros and we’ll get frustrated that we’re not hitting the ratios, but it comes back to, well, if you were hitting the numbers you needed, you’d be at the goal you wanted to be at, but you’re not. So you have to relearn to look at those portions. And in this process of relearning those portions and even tracking things to start, you are learning to eat more mindfully. You’re learning to eat more intuitively because you are seeing what you’re actually consuming and then the impact that it’s truly having. And I think that’s something we don’t talk about enough, the benefit that tracking can truly have to make us more mindful.

Julia (05:23):
Yeah, I definitely agree. I mean, tracking serves as that data to show us what is and what isn’t working for our bodies. So it allows us to go in and separate our actual reality from our own perception of our reality, which is really key because sometimes we can feel like we’re doing great, we can feel like we’re eating the right portions, like you said, we can feel like we may be eating a lot of protein, but it may not always be the case. So tracking is kind of that gateway that allows us to better understand what our bodies need in order to thrive. And over time, as we’re able to shift our palate and really reap the long-term benefits of supporting our metabolism, we’ll find that we’ll be in a much better place to implement these intuitive eating practices. But we need to first put that work in, do that tracking, get that data in order to better educate ourselves and really rewire our metabolisms.

Cori (06:14):
You use the word feel a lot in that, and I think it’s very important that we come back to this word because feelings are not data yet with being more mindful. We have to try and trust in our feelings more, but we have to build more accurate feelings, we’ll say, or mindsets through tracking. But if we’re just allowing how we feel to dictate what we do, think about a fun event. When you’re celebrating excited and it’s fun and the food tastes good, you’re going to be willing to or want to eat more. When you’re stressed after a long day and you’re looking for that comfort and a food gives you comfort, you’re going to go to that food. I know simply when I want more of an ice cream or the peanut butter or whatever else it is, I feel like a portion should be bigger than it is and the portion becomes bigger than it is. Feelings aren’t data, but they can really impact how we ultimately fuel. How can we start to separate out what is a feeling and driving us towards not the correct portions and what’s truly data-driven decisions?

Julia (07:20):
The first step is really just understanding and bringing awareness to it, like you said, right? So a lot of people think that we do these compulsive behaviors like emotional eating because we just lack the willpower on food. Like, oh, I just don’t have the self-control. When in reality we often do it because it’s the only way that we know to either self-soothe or to give ourselves that boost of happiness or whatever. It’s that we’re really seeking from that food. So most of us have heard as dopamine as it’s an important part of our brain’s reward pathway and it causes us to feel good, right? It’s a very pleasurable thing to have. So we also know that foods can give us this dopamine boost really highly palatable foods. So sugary foods, high fat foods. So what makes sense from a scientific standpoint that we are going to reach for these foods, whether it be that ice cream or that glass of wine to make us feel better in these moments because scientifically it’s boosting that dopamine and making us feel better.

(08:19):
But the key takeaway here, and the big point of bringing that awareness to it is that we have to understand that it’s often not the food we’re seeking, it’s the feeling that the food gives us. So the issue is that we’re not really solving the problem at the root. We’re just coping in an unhealthy manner that can contribute to waking and health issues over time. And when this happens continuously, we’re wiring our brain to immediately turn to food when we feel stressed, scared, or even happy. So this is where I always call it the power of the pause that can come in and just allow ourselves to ask those appropriate questions. Am I actually hungry? Am I hoping to relieve feelings of stress, of sadness? Is this food going to satiate me? Am I just eating because I’m at a party and every single person around me is eating?

(09:04):
But ultimately bringing that awareness to it, taking that pause can help us recognize that it’s not really the food that we need, and over time we can begin to replace it with healthier habits. And this is why again, tracking things before eating them can be so helpful because it forces you to take that pause. Not only does it help you be more proactive with our goals as we know, but it really allows you to take a step back outside of the situation, detach from those emotions, and really just pause and think about how we are going to eat and how that lines up with our goals.

Cori (09:39):
It’s that reflection that’s so powerful to give us choice in what we do. And this isn’t to demonize any foods because you are going to want to just enjoy a food that you love, that you grew up with that has memories attached. You’re going to potentially want to sit down to a Thanksgiving meal or have those Christmas cookies, and there’s nothing wrong with these things. I know I am not giving up my summer margaritas and chips and guacamole, especially when the reed avocados are ripe, and it’s not a bad thing to have feelings associated with food, but it’s being mindful then of the choices you’re making when you do consume these things and the impact they’re having on your results. Because when we’re mindful in that way, we don’t create guilt too, which only creates more of a spiral with some of these things. However, pausing is easier said than done. And I love that you bring up tracking beforehand because that allows you to assess what you really need. But let’s just say something comes up and you do eat out of emotion. How can you then use the power of the pause to learn from that?

Julia (10:39):
Yeah, that’s a great question. And that’s where again, we always say tracking services that data to have. So even I have all my clients track your off days, track those moments that aren’t so perfect because that’s data that allows us to then peel back those layers, go back and see what could have led to this, what could have caused this. But again, kind of just that power of the pause in the moment, even if you’re out at a restaurant with people socially, it allows you to come back to things and check in with yourself and check in with what you actually need and want in that moment. And like you said, sometimes you are going to want to go for the cheesecake or the ice cream or whatever it is, and you are going to want to enjoy it. And I think that’s totally okay to even allow yourself to acknowledge like, yes, I want to go for this.

(11:21):
And even if you’re going to try to work it in with your goals, whatever that looks like. But again, just making sure that we’re taking that pause and if it’s going to be something that we’re going to go for, we’re going to enjoy it, savor it, enjoy the experience with the people that we’re around versus feeling that guilt around it. And if it is something that we’re like, I’m not really going to enjoy this. I’m extremely stressed right now, I’m uncomfortable. This is not what’s going to serve me in this moment, then that’s okay too. And that’s again where the power of the pause allows you to det from.

Cori (11:53):
It’s realizing that being more mindful of what you’re consuming is also understanding why you’re consuming it. And on the flip side, while I’m actually guilty of both, while overeating with stress, sometimes we can even undereat with stress and we’re not mindful that we’re eating too little and that’s impacting our results. How do you navigate if you are undereating due to stress? Because we talk a lot about overeating with it, but undereating can also be an issue.

Julia (12:20):
Yeah, definitely. And it’s kind of that idea of that fight or flight response which you can get, which causes us to overeat can also cause us to undereat like you’re saying. And sometimes people feel like they can’t really switch gears from experiencing that stress that they are experiencing firsthand. So even just again, practicing mindfulness by meeting ourselves where we’re at, remembering that food is still fuel, and this could mean even just adjusting your plan for the time being. Maybe you’re going to rely more on things like small calorie dense snacks, things like protein bars and shakes, things like yogurt bowls where you can add a lot of nuts and seeds and kind of bulk that up a little bit. Things like smoothies where you can add in yogurt, nut butters, or even using an eating schedule and setting reminders for yourself throughout the day, that can be huge. As silly as it sounds, just setting an alarm on your phone or scheduling it in your calendar when to eat, that can be huge just to remind you, Hey, I know I may not want to eat right now, but it’s important to fuel my body and still give myself as care in this moment. And just having that little reminder can go a really long way to helping you to still accomplish that goal and get in that fuel when you’re feeling a little bit stressed.

Cori (13:31):
It’s that accountability and outside perspective that we’re often missing because again, feelings aren’t data and what’s going on inside our head can often take us down a path that’s not correct if we let it. And so being more mindful is assessing where those feelings are coming from. With that being said, we can track ahead to help hold us accountable, whether we overeat or we even undereat, and especially if we’re undereating, we might think, well, this is even good for my weight loss goals, which is a whole other subject, but not necessarily the case, which is why meal planning can be so key so that you can track ahead, you can hold yourself accountable, you can give yourself that outside perspective. Can you go over some tips to help with that? I think that is often the biggest struggle that pre-planning, but if we don’t do it, we’re setting ourselves up for failure. And as odd as it sounds to have a plan in place that makes us more mindful.

Julia (14:25):
Yeah, definitely. I mean, even just pre-planning or pre logging, whatever that looks like for you can really help us bring that intentionality and just ensure that we are hitting our goals and we’re usually sitting down to plan in a time that we’re not hungry or tired, so we’re able to make more mindful choices. So we’re really just setting ourselves up for success. Like you said, sometimes you aren’t able to be mindful simply just because our environment doesn’t allow for us make long choices. If you’re someone who you work 10 to 12 hour shifts and you don’t have a plan for what you’re going to eat when you get off shift, then of course you’re not going to make the best choices. You can’t expect yourself to do that. But pre tracking really helps to come in and reduce any questions of what you should have, reduce any food noise throughout the day and just allow you to set up a plan.

(15:11):
And this can look different for every single person. For some people it can be meal prepping individual meals. For some people it could be bulk prepping, maybe a few protein items or veggies, if that’s what you struggle with, so that you have them easily available to throw into meals, even if it’s coming home and chopping up your produce, your fruits and veggies and just having them ready to grab in the fridge to pair with something for when you get off that shift, that can go a huge way or a long way just to help you have that readily available for you and give you that crutch to lean on when you are needing it.

Cori (15:45):
You’re using that power of the pause to plan ahead so that you can be more mindful because you’re not letting emotions or stress or fatigue or any of these other things come into play. You’re sitting down to really assess. And I think it’s key at these points that we reflect on even what our emotional triggers are and how we respond to them and why they come up, and even what our coming week or coming months, even the coming year looks like in terms of some of those stressors to really plan ahead for it. Because if we don’t own what’s going on, all those priorities that come up are what become our excuses. So off of that key takeaways, if someone wants to be more mindful so that their priorities aren’t sabotaging them, their emotions aren’t sabotaging them, they can be more mindful in their eating to see the best results.

Julia (16:33):
I mean, just going off of that, obviously dialing into what your personal causes are that lead you to eat more mindlessly. So could it be that lack of preparation? Could it be emotions? Could it be that you’re on the go and you’re very busy? It could it be lack of time? It could it be just distractions during mealtime that you’re experiencing, but whatever it is, really dialing in and figuring out what those biggest challenges are for yourself will allow you to then come up with a plan to implement the necessary changes. So for those who stress eat, for example, this could mean leaning into that power of the paws and working to find healthier stress releases unrelated to food or even facing the stress at the root for those who are busy and on the move. This could mean planning a few meals out, maybe going for overnight oats or a smoothie that you can take with you on the go in your car, or even keeping some macro friendly, convenient snacks on hand like beef jerky, roos, edamame, protein bars in your gym bag for whenever you’re in a pinch. But again, this is where tracking will service that data and allows us to see those areas throughout the day in the weeks where we are struggling and allow us to see those huge room and areas of growth.

Cori (17:45):
Being more mindful isn’t just being aware of how your body responds to the food that you eat or how full you feel. It really is about having that outside perspective of how everything works together and how your fueling is impacting you and how your emotions are impacting your fueling. So it’s so much more than just intuitive eating, truly at its heart. And again, we are human and that voice inside our head can really sometimes sabotage us. So having that outside perspective and using tracking to our advantage, whether it is in a food tracker and if someone’s maybe struggling with the food tracker, struggling with macros, struggling with even becoming a little feeling that they’re obsessive with the numbers, what would you recommend they do to track to help them have that outside perspective to be more mindful?

Julia (18:31):
Yeah, that’s a great question. I would say even just taking a more modified approach to tracking, whether it be just a protein goal or again, if you’re really struggling with a certain meal, even just focusing on that meal, maybe it’s just breakfast or it’s just your snacks and really just trying to start small, and then over time you can build up and gather more data. But even just that will allow you to then go in and see how you can make just those little 1% changes day to day.

Cori (18:58):
I love that. And I even think taking pictures of the meals you want to eat, you plan to eat that will fuel you well. And then even taking pictures of the things that you maybe consumed that weren’t on what you had planned to eat, to sort of be able to compare, to have that data, to understand even writing out some notes on why you then had those things. There’s so many different ways to hold yourself accountable and give that outside perspective to then assess your feelings, how they’re impacting your fueling, and be more mindful in how you choose to fuel. Julia, any other closing thoughts? This has been fabulous.

Julia (19:32):
Just again, kind of figuring out what those possible causes are for you, and this is where it looks different for every single person and not being afraid to even dive in if it is something more so like stress, if it is something, whatever it may be for you, just not being afraid to dive even into it, because often it’s things beyond food, right? It’s that planning, it’s that accountability. So just not being afraid to dive into it and make those small changes over time, that is what adds up to that lasting change.

Cori (20:01):
It’s all in the reflection guys. Hopefully this was really helpful for you to really step back, see how you can be more mindful in your fueling. Love to hear your biggest takeaways. Julia, thank you so much for joining me today. Have a great rest of your week.

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

5 Tips For Muscle Growth (GAINS 101!)

by Cori Lefkowith | Apr 6, 2025 | Blog, Diet, Exercises

So you want to build muscle…

Put down your cardio crown and get ready to eat more.

In this video I’ll cover muscle building 101, or bulking, and it’s going to require you to go against many of the dieting and training practices you’re used to, especially if you’ve found yourself constantly on that yo-yo dieting cycle over the years.

Now if you’re wondering, “Should I do a bulk?” here are some things to consider…

Are you thin and wanting to see more muscle definition?

Have you dieted down but aren’t as defined as you’d like?

Are you going through menopause and seeing weight creep on around your middle?

Are you feeling like your metabolism is broken?

Have you plateaued in your weight loss journey after being in a deficit for 6 months or more?

If you said yes to any of these, it may be time to focus on a muscle building phase.

Building muscle can improve our body composition if we’re already pretty lean, making us look leaner and more defined…

It can also improve our insulin sensitivity and metabolic health to avoid gaining unwanted fat as we get older…

And a bulking phase can even help us ultimately bust a weight loss plateau through a period of time focused on performance, metabolic health and hormonal balance while gaining muscle so we look leaner as we lose.

But I’ll tell you the thing that most often holds us back from seeing the amazing muscle gains that are possible…

And it isn’t even a nutritional mistake or workout one….although there are a few common ones I’ll go over to help you avoid them…

It’s the fear of gaining weight on the scale!

Many of us have worked hard to achieve our weight loss or fat loss goals. Often a number on the scale is tied to that.

Especially if you’ve lost weight more recently, the idea of seeing that number go up can freak you out.

But honestly, it might and you may look even leaner as it does.

If you’re serious about putting on muscle, consider ditching the scale and instead focus on body measurements and progress pictures for a bit.

If you do use the scale, be ready to see even an initial jump as you move to eating more, focusing on more carbs and even see more muscle tissue damage and inflammation from pushing hard in your workouts.

This isn’t fat nor muscle being gained. Sorry doesn’t happen that fast.

We have to remember that simply by no longer being in a deficit we won’t be depleted and our body is going to store the extra we’re giving it.

This means full energy stores. And as you build more muscle, the more you can store. But these stores are needed to see those gains.

And then as you build muscle, the scale may go up. Because if you gain 1lbs of muscle and don’t gain any fat, the scale is going to go up 1lbs.

Not to mention, more muscle means more storage capacity.

With pushing your lifting hard as well to promote those muscle gains, you’re also going to see jumps on the scale due to bodily process to recovery.

So to summarize, the scale will go up and may show big swings daily.

On top of this, as you see the scale go up, especially over time as you build muscle, you may even then need to embrace eating more to retain the lean muscle and increase in metabolic processes!

This is why measurements and photos can be key. Too often the scale jumps and we instantly cut back when we need to do the opposite.

It’s why we never truly make progress.

Gaining muscle is hard, especially the longer we’ve been training for. And a big part of what can sabotage us is the scale mind games.

Measure areas you want to build muscle in and those that you want to avoid gaining fat in, like your waist.

Watching trends in each can help you see where those gains are happening and how your body composition is truly changing.

Now, the how-to of bulking.

And I don’t know about you, but I want to build muscle efficiently while also not having then to backtrack a ton to lose fat.

I want to do things in a sustainable way that leads to optimized long-term results.

So I say this with still wanting you to see those pure muscle gains without gaining a ton of fat….

Ditch the steady state cardio other than walking. Stop the long HIIT sessions. Focus on lifting.

While both may have helped you lean down, they both work against those pure muscle gains.

We have to remember that what got us to one goal often works against us getting to the next level.

Cardio, especially the long run and endurance rides, is catabolic to muscle mass and depletes our glycogen stores. It can hinder us from lifting heavier and optimally recovering and rebuilding from our strength work.

It can raise cortisol levels and put our body under chronic stress.

If you want to gain muscle faster and have even been frustrated by a lack of results, ditch the cardio for a time.

This also means not turning your strength workouts into cardio sessions.

Too often to feel more worked from our workouts, because we equate feeling tired with a workout being “good enough,” we cut back on rest.

This can make us get more out of breath or feel shakier.

But it also doesn’t allow our muscles to truly recover to lift as heavy the next round. And if we can’t truly push the weights and exercise variations we’re using to work closer to true muscular failure, we aren’t going to create the same stimulus for muscle growth.

Don’t avoid longer rest periods the heavier you lift. If you’re using a big compound lift like a deadlift or bench and really trying to work to fatigue at 5 reps, you may need 2-3 minutes of rest.

You actually want to feel like you earned that and don’t fully want to get back to the weight even with that much rest!

Too often we lift submaximal loads, just stop at the top of the rep range and cut our rest to make it feel harder. But this won’t lead to the same muscle growth.

And on top of dropping the cardio, and not just focusing on our workouts making us feel tired and out of breath, you probably need to eat more.

Now if you’re thinking, “I need to burn fewer calories AND eat more?! Won’t I just gain a ton of fat?!”

The answer is, NO, especially if you are strategic in how you increase your calories and dial in your macros.

You may see an initial jump on the scale as you eat more and even potentially bump carbs, but this increase is glycogen storage and water weight retention.

Both of these things are needed to help your muscles repair and rebuild, not to mention provide you the energy in the first place to train hard and actually create progression to drive growth.

But just creating a huge surplus isn’t the answer. You want to increase your calories over what you’re consuming to maintain your weight by 100-300. The bigger the deficit, the more you may see fat being gained.

And while you may not care about gaining some fat in the process to ultimately gain more muscle, there is a point of diminishing returns where gaining fat can ultimately hinder your performance and, especially if you aren’t focusing on quality fueling, lead to slower recovery.

You also then will have to do more of a cut after if you want to lean back down and risk losing some of the muscle you worked hard to gain.

The more we end up in this bulking, cutting cycle, the more we can find ourselves gaining and losing the same few pounds over truly just slowing down to focus on recomp happening.

So a small, sustainable surplus you can increase as you make progress can help you build while staying leaner to ultimately retain more of your muscle long term.

And then focus on QUALITY – both in your workouts and your diet.

While it may be tempting to not care how you’re hitting your calories and macros, and you SHOULD work in foods you love, you do want to focus on nutrient dense foods to help your body recover optimally, and help you feel your best in your training sessions.

Eating crap, well, it makes you feel crappy and often even sluggish in your training.

Proper fueling and hydration can also help you avoid being as sore and fatigued. And the better you recover, the harder you can train and the better your gains!

The quality of your workouts is also key. Too often we go through the motions with our training. Stopping when the weight feels kind of hard and we hit the number of reps we were supposed to do.

We aren’t super intentional and focused to maximize each and every rep and push as hard as possible.

We aren’t focused on what we feel working to maximize muscle engagement.

We even rush through over paying attention to tempos and ranges of motion.

A lack of attention and focus doesn’t allow us to optimize our training sessions. The more experienced a lifter you are, the more this lack of attention and focus will hold you back.

Don’t ignore the importance of really focusing on quality not just quantity in everything you do. It isn’t just about more moves.

It’s about having a purpose for everything you include.

It’s not just about more calories or carbs, it’s about quality and even playing around with timing.

Don’t overwhelm yourself with the details, especially to start, but be conscious of all that you’re including and track and record how you feel.

The more you understand all the habits you’re implementing, the more you can tweak as you go to truly see results build!

Want a custom plan and guidance to build your leanest, strongest body no matter your age?

–> Learn more about my 1:1 Coaching and schedule a consultation

Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

by Cori Lefkowith | Apr 3, 2025 | podcast

Listen:

Change Requires CHANGE

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Change Requires CHANGE

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Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast. Everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. What if not having changed anything is truly the problem? So I had someone comment, I haven’t changed anything, but all of a sudden I’m gaining weight and getting that comment, I slightly smiled because I think often we think, well, I’m not doing anything different, so why am I getting a different result? And my comment back to her, I could tell it slightly surprised her, but my comment back was, have you considered that not changing anything may actually be part of the problem? Because guess what? Your body, your lifestyle, your mindset, your goals are constantly evolving. And if you aren’t adjusting your workouts or diet to match that mismatch now with what used to work when your body and lifestyle and goals were all in a different place might be part of the problem.

(00:57):
What we do to reach one goal can often hold us back from reaching the next, even if our goal is still weight loss. And I bring this up because I think over the seasons, we need to assess what does and doesn’t work for our lifestyles. We need to assess where our mindset is right now. But in thinking about all this, when we think about sustainability, we also think about this as one thing. So think about what was sustainable for you in college? What was sustainable, maybe as a newlywed, what was sustainable when you had young kids? What’s sustainable when you’re an empty nester? All these things are going to be different. Sustainable is going to mean something different to you at each of these phases. And if you try and cling to what felt comfortable and confused, comfort with sustainability, you’re going to ultimately hold yourself back because nothing works forever.

(01:40):
And everything is constantly changing. And I bring up the seasons too, because I think we think often, okay, yes, now I’m older, so I have to adjust, or my goals have changed, so I have to adjust. But even over just the course of a year, your habits are not going to look the same, driving towards the same goal. And the more we own that, the more we can come back to the fundamentals, but evolve the exact implementation of habits before we fall off. So if you think about a workout plan, you’ve done a workout plan, or maybe you’ve done a diet plan even, and all of a sudden you’re like, oh, this is just not sustainable any longer. Well, how has your lifestyle changed? What’s happened? Is it simply that you’re hitting that hard? Where at 21 days you always start to give up? Okay, well maybe that’s the case.

(02:23):
Maybe it’s just a timeframe thing. It’s not that anything else in your lifestyle has even changed. Well, then how can you get over this hurdle still doing more than you would’ve done in the past? What works in January when you’re super motivated, all of a sudden it’s summer, you’re traveling more. Those habits might not work. And if you keep trying to clinging to them, that’s where you can end up falling off and sabotaging yourself. Same thing with the holidays. So the more we’re constantly assessing, okay, A, am I getting the goal or reaching the goal I want? And maybe then I do keep the habits, but if I’m not seeing the results that I want, or even going backwards and I haven’t started to fall off my plan to get less consistent, what is a mismatch that I need to address? And I think it’s really key that not only do we do a lot of reflecting along our journey and set those checkpoints, so not only a deadline for our ultimate goal, but even, and I won’t say deadlines because I think deadlines mean, oh, we’re supposed to be done here.

(03:12):
I do like to call ’em checkpoints, but just times to check in, be like, okay, every three weeks I’m going to do a check-in. I’m going to assess how things have gone, assess my true consistency, and then reflect on what it can change. Because it’s kind of like we’re a mechanic on our car. You don’t want to have your car and then not do the check-ins, the oil changes, all those different things. You want to be doing those things so that your car works really well. But so often we’re not doing those checkups, so to speak, on our diet and workout routines as we’re working towards our goal. All of a sudden we’re just like, oh, it’s not working. The car’s broken down. I’m just going to set it on fire and leave it there and go do something else. No, you wouldn’t do that.

(03:47):
You got to take care of that car. So it keeps moving. You don’t want to have to go buy a new one. You can’t buy a new body. So you got to do those checkups. But I want you to really reflect if you are struggling with seeing results, what other things have changed? Because sustainable doesn’t mean that it is comfortable. It doesn’t mean what we’ve always done. It is going to mean that there is some hard, it just has to be something built off. Those basics that we can consistently do that we know will drive us forward. And that’s even where we so often see that response of, oh gosh, why didn’t I do this sooner? Well, it didn’t feel sustainable to start, but now it does. But you embraced the why behind it. You reflected on what you needed to meet yourself where you’re at.

(04:25):
You went from those January habits where you could do six days a week, one hour in the gym to realizing all of a sudden that felt like the effort wasn’t getting the outcome that you wanted and it wasn’t feeling worth it. And so you’re going to give up. But instead you’re saying, no, no, no, I’m going to do three days a week because there is no ideal. It’s just about meeting myself where I’m at. And in that evolution, in that willingness to change, in that willingness to even say, Hey, it’s not a right or wrong thing. It’s just that nothing works forever. What I did in college doesn’t work for me now. Right? That reflection is what ultimately drives us forward to create sustainable patterns that will evolve. Because sustainable means being open to evolution so that we’re always meeting ourselves where we’re at. So if you have been frustrated by your lack of progress and say, but I haven’t changed my healthy habits, really dive in and reflect on what in those habits might need to evolve because something else in your lifestyle, even if it’s a mindset, even if it’s a routine because of work, a family life, that you’re not going to change, especially, how can you then evolve everything else to match what your body, your goals, your lifestyle needs right now?

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

How to Actually Get Abs (10 Annoying Tips That Work!)

by Cori Lefkowith | Mar 30, 2025 | Blog, Diet

So you want to see more ab definition…

You want to achieve that elusive “six pack”…

Well, here are 10 annoying nutrition tips to help you get there!

But a word of warning to get abs, you can’t be concerned with sustainability.

That comes later.

This isn’t the time to focus on how you can work in your cocktails or your favorite desserts as much as I’m all about balance long-term.

Because what we do to achieve a goal, is NOT what we do to maintain it.

But to reach a level of leanness you’ve never achieved, or haven’t seen in awhile, you’ve got to be willing to sacrifice and push hard, especially when you’d rather sit on the coach and binge watch chick flicks while eating ice cream…

Maybe that’s just me…

But achieving abs is about pushing your body’s set point, and that does mean being more precise with your diet and workouts.

Those 1% matter.

That’s why these 10 tips are key.

And note, simple doesn’t mean easy.

Actually often the simpler something is, the harder it is long term and the more tempted we are to try to do more or chase a new fad diet or shiny object…

Don’t.

The biggest thing is CONSISTENCY with all of this past the point you want to quit…PERIOD.

Which is why Tip #1 is – Be boring.

Yup. Boring.

I love trying new restaurants, and have more favorite restaurants on doordash than I should probably admit while always looking for what’s new…

But if you’re focused on getting abs, especially for the first time, diversity is your enemy.

It can trigger cravings.

Make hitting your macros harder.

And it can make it tougher to know if something is or isn’t working.

The more you keep things basic, the easier the process will be.

Tip #2: Cut back on protein bars.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like feeling hungry.

And you are going to be a bit hungry when first pushing to a new level of leanness.

That’s why cutting back on processed snacks like protein bars can be key. They are very calorically dense often for very few bites.

They often are not satisfying in the slightest and leave you feeling still hungry right after due to the lack of food volume.

So be conscious of how you use them and even try to include them with other high volume foods or only when on the go!

Tip #3: Stop the daily fluctuations.

If you want results to snowball faster, you’ve got to be willing to be more precise. That means hitting your macros within 2% and 50 calories plus or minus daily.

Not just in weekly averages where things fluctuate greatly day to day.

Not excusing a day “off plan”, which can often impact our macros more than we realize.

But every single day hitting those numbers consistently and precisely, even using the same meals and foods as I mentioned with tip 1.

That’s what adds up and allows us to know what is and isn’t working.

And if you’re thinking, “That isn’t sustainable.”

It’s not meant to be. What we do to reach a goal isn’t what we do to maintain it. And during maintenance a new balance has to evolve.

But to first get there, you’ve got to embrace the grind!

Tip #4: Focus on fiber.

Very rarely is gut health and fiber the first thing that comes to mind when you think about getting lean and losing fat.

But focusing on getting about 25-30 grams of fiber per day can really improve your fat loss results.

A healthy gut, and consuming enough fiber, reduces inflammation and cravings and improves insulin sensitivity and satiety.

It keeps your metabolic rate higher and even reduces the rate of protein breakdown to help you preserve your muscle mass as you lean down.

So take care of your gut with fiber to balance your appetite and make the fat loss process easier!

Tip #5: Get 30-40 grams of protein per meal.

Yup. The tip all too many of us know and resist…increasing our protein!

But not just increasing our overall daily totals, specifically focusing on that 30-40 gram range for a meal or more.

While many have heard the myth you won’t utilize more in one sitting, studies have shown you will utilize up to 100 grams efficiently.

And that 30-40 gram range is a great way to create an anabolic response even as we get older and we aren’t able to utilize protein as efficiently.

That amount helps make sure you’re fueling your lean muscle while also accounting for the fact that protein is used for so much else in our body.

Being in a deficit, you are deficient and depleted. Getting enough protein ensures you aren’t catabolizing your muscle mass to get the amino acids you need for repair or other bodily processes.

Not to mention, you burn more calories even at rest to digest protein making it something you can eat more of without as much risk of gaining unwanted fat.

Tips #6: Prioritize carbs around your workout.

Carbs are immediate fuel.

To push hard in our workouts to get the biggest benefit, we need that energy source especially while in a deficit.

Timing more carbs pre-workout can help you have that readily available fuel while creating that anabolic environment to build muscle.

So no matter exactly your carb ratio, focus on getting some carbs for full glycogen stores prior to your training and then even refueling with carbs post workout to help you repair and rebuild.

Carbs are also protein sparing so help you really protect that lean muscle mass and use that protein more efficiently!

And do not fear if you train at night eating more carbs later in the day!

Tip #7: Take breaks.

While you may think, “It’s only a couple of pounds.” Those last few pounds are often the slowest to lose and the ones you have to be most strategic in losing.

Push too great a deficit and you risk losing even more muscle in the process.

But our body adapts to what we do.

It’s why the process isn’t linear and at times you have to step back from your cut and push to get lean and take that diet break.

This ultimately allows you to be consistent for longer and not burn out, not only mentally but physically.

It allows you to even add a bit of muscle and avoid metabolic adaptations along the way.

So if you’ve been pushing hard toward your goals for a few months, consider a 1-2 week phase of eating at maintenance as you push your training to build muscle and get that mental break from more intensive dieting.

Tip #8: Be careful of pre-workout or fat burners.

I know it’s tempting to want a quick fix or a boost, but these supplements can be dangerous and also have a further reaching impact on our recovery than we realize.

And our sleep is so essential to balancing our appetite and hormone levels for fat loss not to mention recovery from our workouts to maintain muscle.

While they may feel good to boost our energy and provide a temporary metabolic boost, they can impact our sleep and recovery in a negative way.

And unless we keep consuming more and more, we won’t keep seeing the same boost from them.

So if you’re finding you want to jump to using these things, assess your meal timing and first consider just something simple like a cup of tea or coffee before you train if you need. But less is more and you can’t out supplement your workouts or macros!

Tip #9: Don’t set it and forget it!

Your body is adapting and changing through your journey to get abs. Your lifestyle and stress and priorities are also shifting.

That means you can’t just set your macros or diet habits and then go on autopilot.

While we don’t want to be changing things up every other second, we do need to watch progress and adjust as we go.

That may mean a diet break. It may mean a change in types of foods. It may even mean shifting macro breakdowns, cycling up and down in protein or even changing carbs and fat levels based on shifts in our activity.

But track and monitor your progress to adjust as you go and not feel like something should work forever in one form. Because it won’t!

Tip #10: Suck It Up Buttercup.

To reach any big, lofty goal, you’re going to have times you don’t want to do what you should.

Times things stink.

They don’t feel sustainable.

You don’t enjoy them.

At these times, you need to tell yourself to suck it up and keep going. That’s the only way for you to push through.

And when it feels like nothing is happening, that’s often where we usually quit and where we need to keep going instead. Because often that is right before we break through and really see results begin to pop.

So if you’ve even felt like you’ve looked worse recently while pushing hard, KEEP GOING! Realize the areas that have improved and celebrate your consistency and realize it is part of the process!

But focus on consistent changes that build past the point you want to quit.

And realize that precision is so important when we want to push boundaries. Embrace the hard and keep going!

Dial in your diet to match your workouts and build your leanest, strongest body ever with my Metabolic Shred…

–> LEARN MORE

Better Daily Habits For Results That Last!

by Cori Lefkowith | Mar 27, 2025 | podcast

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Change Requires CHANGE

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Change Requires CHANGE

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Transcript:

Open Transcript:

Cori (00:00):
Welcome to the Redefining Strength Podcast. Everything you need to succeed on your health and fitness journey, even the stuff you don’t want to hear. I don’t know about you guys, but I have a hard time sometimes slowing down to speed up. I am all about taking that action I want to do. Reflecting is not in my natural nature and it’s something I’ve had to learn, which is why I’m super excited to talk with Coach Ashley today about the power of the pause. Ashley, thank you so much for joining me.

Ashley (00:33):
Thank you for having me. I’m so excited to get to dive into this topic and talk through it and talk through what are some of the benefits for people in their health and wellness journey.

Cori (00:43):
So let’s get right to it because as I mentioned, I am not good at reflecting. It is something I’ve had to really learn to slow down to ultimately speed up because there is a desire to sometimes do act out of emotion, react to something. So how can we really see the power in the pause and then use it to our advantage?

Ashley (01:03):
Absolutely. Okay, so when we talk about the pause, the way I like to frame this is it’s the space in between when you have a thought and the action that you take right afterwards. Now, the way that we kind of produce action and the way that our thoughts influence our actions, there’s two different systems. There’s the fast action response, which is usually born out of patterns that we have routines like the way we’ve operated since we are two, three years old. And I don’t want to say it’s animalistic, but it’s so instinctual that it’s just whatever our first instinct is. And then we have our slow response system, which is where more of that pause comes into play, where you think a thought, have thought, take a pause, and then determine or choose the action that you’re going to take. And so that’s where that pause kind of exists is right in between the position of where you’ve had that thought.

(02:03):
And what’s so powerful about it is that it allows your brain to actually override the automatic pattern that you’ve developed over the course of your entire life. And so the reason why this is so important, especially with behavior change, you’re trying to change anything about yourself, whether it’s the way that you wake up. I mean, I’ve had to use this because I’ve been told as I get older, I should wash my face and do skincare before I go to bed so that I don’t have wrinkles and I hate washing my face and it’s not in my nighttime. So I’ve had to intentionally use this strategy for something as simple as being clean, but you can use it for your health, your fitness, any area of wellness.

Cori (02:50):
It’s remembering that your habits made you do it in a weird way. And we think of habits as a good thing, but the habits do have that ingrained pattern that we default back into. So when we’re trying to create something new, we have to use that pause to recognize that our habits made us do it and unlearn those patterns as we’re even learning new ones. And that’s why it’s so hard and this giving ourselves space to really think about it is so key. So knowing that and knowing that it can be helpful for about any habit mentioning washing your face, I’m like, I’m not good at that either. Maybe I should use that here. But what can we do to help make ourselves actually take that pause when it’s so easy to default back into action?

Ashley (03:33):
I think first, recognizing and understanding that there are those two brains within us is the first thing. What that does is it allows us to remove guilt and shame from this process because a lot of times I’ll hear from clients is like, I just feel like I can’t get a handle specifically around food a lot. I can’t get a handle on this. I feel like I keep self-sabotaging. And what that produces is then a shame response that drives them away from the action altogether because they’re so worried about failure. So the first thing that you can do is when you have the thought, so let’s take just the situation of washing your face. So I’m cozied up on the couch, it’s hitting that time that I’m ready to go to bed. Typically it’s like, okay, just go to bed. I’m done. I’m ready for the end of the night.

(04:25):
Okay, wait, what can I use here to interrupt my pattern that I have of just going to bed? So for me, again, ridiculousness, but this is just who I am. I have to set an alarm on my phone that is at least five minutes ahead of the time that I’m too tired to actually want to do anything. And it’s an interruption, right? Go wash your face. Well, now it’s right in front of me to either make the decision because it’s an interruption. I either need to make the decision to go do the thing or to not do the thing. But because I know that there is something intentional I’ve placed in there, there’s no shame or guilt around my choice that I make. I’m just making the choice. The second thing that we really have to understand here is that a lot of our automatic decisions, a lot of our routines are inside being driven by dopamine.

(05:24):
And the reason why this is so important to understand is dopamine is highly addictive to us as humans. Humans. There’s studies that have been done on rats that show rats will go crazy for sugar as much as they can, even to the point of it killing them. And again, I don’t want to narrow us down to animals because we’re not, and we do have the second brain, however, acknowledging that dopamine is driving a lot of the impulsive decisions that we get, and that’s what we’re pursuing day in and day out. Just having that understanding puts us more into position of like, okay, I can think about this and analyze what’s happening versus just moving and going and reacting to my life moment and moment day after day and feeling like I have no control over it. So I think the first step is like understand what’s happening inside your brain.

Cori (06:16):
I think that understanding is so key because it does put you in a more proactive state. You recognize that there are things happening that are natural and that you shouldn’t even necessarily feel guilty about, but at the same time, you can control and change. And I love that example of setting that alarm For me, it’s a change in my environment. So thinking now about like, okay, I’m actually bad at washing my face as well, what could I do to then shift things so I have that reminder, well, I could put out all the materials I need to wash my face right on the counter so that I have no excuse. I see it when I go to brush my teeth, which I do do religiously. So that’s a good habit to have ingrained, but that will help me have that reminder and then make a choice. Yes, I can still choose not to do it, but it’s a lot easier to remember to do it when those visuals are there. So it is finding a way that you can create that pause through other things that trigger it, because trying to think about pausing is kind of impossible to start until you really recognize the pattern you’re repeating.

Ashley (07:17):
You just hit on that word. You have to recognize it to know that it’s happening. Recognizing it requires reflection, it requires pausing, it requires looking back and even having a moment of analysis. So pair this back, really simple things that affect our clients daily. Oh, I didn’t work out yesterday because my day was so busy. Okay, let’s reflect on it. Let’s look back to yesterday then. What was different? What was the same? Where was the moment that you decided that you weren’t going to work out? And can you in that moment, is there a different trigger that we could have put into place? Just like you just described, what is something that you want to do differently? And in fact, the author of Atomic Habits talks about how to implement and put new habits into place, and everything comes from a queue. So let’s say stressful day, long day meetings up the wazoo, something happened at work.

(08:27):
Okay, stress response, right? Then you have the routine of that. So maybe the routine is when you get stressed, you stop by McDonald’s and you pick up your shamrock shake because it’s March and you got to have one in there. That’s like your little trait. And then at the reward, what’s the reward of that is that you get comfort. Okay, well, if I want to interrupt that pattern, I want to do something different, then what I have to do is the moment that the routine is hitting, that’s where I have to insert the pause. That’s where I have to go. I guess I’m going to take a different way home maybe as a strategy, or I’m going to immediately drive to the gym right now versus even stopping someplace else to delay that process. And that’s where again, the pause though comes as you’re recognizing the routine that’s there.

Cori (09:23):
And it’s even using the pause not right in the moment. So while we do want that pause to come in the moment to assess our choice in the matter, what we really want to do, it’s even realizing that when something happens, instead of creating that guilt, instead of blaming yourself for the impulse, instead of just writing it off as, oh, this is a routine or habit or mindset that I can’t control, at the end of the day, reflect, put in that pause automatically right now at a time you can fully control, just say, Hey, I’m going to reflect on the day, what happened that led to this routine? What triggered this pattern? And then what things can I test out to do it to then implement? Maybe it is even putting in your gym bag so that you can go right to the gym, right into your car, so you don’t go get that shamrock shake.

(10:05):
Maybe it’s even having an extra snacker protein shake that you walk out of your office with at the end of the day of work because you’ll have that and won’t stop then. But using almost a preset pause at the end of the day to help yourself then even see those pauses because you’ll notice as you drink that protein shake, even though you’re doing that now sort of out of habit because it’s there, that creates that pause to assess this is how I felt. Okay, this actually did help, or maybe it didn’t, but it pauses your brain enough to give you that choice when you do select that thing. So it’s using pause in multiple different ways so that we can recognize what leads to that cycle. For us, even

Ashley (10:44):
One of the key things I think you hit on there, Cori, that’s really important is it puts you back into control and choice and decision. And I do think so many of us are just running around day to day being highly reactive to what the day brings to us. And sure, there’s going to be certain days that are that way. There will be things that are outside of your control. But what you just referenced is how do I use tools and strategies to make sure that I’m being intentional? Even the strategy of reflection, end of the day, you’re being very intentional with that to reflect back, to say, okay, what did I like about my day? What did I not like about the day? Let me forecast into tomorrow. What would I like to change for tomorrow? And it puts you into that driver’s seat again versus feeling like you’re just a passenger in your life and just whiplash in and out of traffic whichever way that you’re going.

(11:44):
And that’s a key factor that any person who wants to implement a behavior change, change something about their life change, something about their health and wellness, about their fitness, you have to start with the power to choose, have to start there. Once you recognize that you have the opportunity to choose, that’s when you can start actually using this strategy very strategically. Whether it is, I know sometimes I’ve worked with clients who I’m like, end of the week, here’s your reflection point. How many people are actually spending the time to look at their week or look at their month or even look at a quarter or a year of their life to say, what do I, lemme pause and reflect on what I liked here. That’s why New Year’s is such a great time to start producing change is because there’s a pause that’s built in after Christmas, after New Year’s, people are like leaning back, ate too much food, and they’re like, I can slow down for a second. And it’s built into their calendar almost. But we have to be intentional about building that in other places. Otherwise, a whole year goes by and you realize you’re in the same place

Cori (12:59):
And it can’t just be in the reflection after the doing, even it’s being intentional and taking that pause even prior. So to start your day, if you find yourself constantly in that reactive state, not pausing, even saying, well, I just can’t pause. And again, giving away your control, what at the beginning of your day can you do to set your intentions for the day, to set out the routine to recognize, Hey, this is what I even have in store and own it. Because I think that’s something we don’t do enough is own the reality of our situation, own our priorities, and therefore we don’t give ourselves the power to pause because we don’t recognize what might be coming up with the new year. We do exactly that, and the more we do it by even setting specific things versus saying, well, I want to track this year because I want to lose weight.

(13:41):
Well, how are you going to track, okay, how is that going to look on a daily basis? What action can you take today for that? The more you start to give yourself those really tangible things, the more you start to see the actions and the more it actually becomes easier to even pause because you are aware of those daily actions. And I feel like awareness is so much at the heart of all of this, and we’ve been circling around and touching on in so many different ways. Is there any way you’d recommend that someone goes about building that awareness more in the moment besides just the reflection, just the setting, the intentions for the day?

Ashley (14:16):
Absolutely. I think you’re touching on some really great reflection strategies and in intentional strategies, but it doesn’t take away from the moment that you need to make a decision where stress is high or your body and mind are pursuing comfort, right? So when you get into that moment, there’s the 5, 5, 5 rule, and this is a little bit more thought driven. So once you have the thought that you’re recognizing as like, okay, I really don’t want to, I’m just going to keep using this example, go to the gym. My day was long. I’m stressed out, I’m exhausted. Okay, well, let me give five seconds just to do nothing for five seconds. Have that thought address that it’s there. Okay, now I’m going to ask myself five minutes from now, how do I feel now about going to the gym? Okay, if I could get to the gym for just five minutes and do just five minutes of treadmill, warmup, foam rolling, whatever it is that I can, I just do five minutes, is that something that I can do?

(15:20):
And starting to look from that five, five perspective and talking yourself through it, it produces enough pause in the moment that you are not just reacting to the thought that is sitting there. It’s not an automatic like, oh, don’t want to go to the gym, not going, it’s a, oh, don’t want to go to the gym. Five seconds. Think about it. Okay, five more minutes, ask yourself again. So you’re driving home, ask yourself again, okay, now what if I could just go do five minutes that I’m there? So that’s one strategy that people can kind of utilize is that rule of 5, 5, 5. This is a little bit more meditative and it doesn’t work for every single person, but if you know what box breathing is, box breathing brings down the cortisol levels and the stress response in the body, which is where we make a lot of our automatic decisions pursuing dopamine.

(16:21):
So when you are in a high stress situation, you go back to routine. So what box breathing does is it’s strategy where you’re inhaling for a beat of four or five or a six. I have seen people do it even up to eight. Then holding that breath for that count of four to eight and then releasing it. What it does is it lowers the body sympathetic nervous system. That response that you’re having, it lowers your cortisol, brings you out of your amygdala, the emotional part of your brain and puts you back into, I call it the driver’s seat, that prefrontal cortex where you’re actually making decisions. You’re actually getting to have that response. So those are two strategies that strateg you can use to implement a pause into a moment or a situation, but something I think is key for you to even expand on. I love that you said earlier, Cori was about the environmental factors and how you can use those to interrupt and produce a pause.

Cori (17:26):
It’s all about where your attention goes, your energy flows, right? And with the breathing, with having those environmental shifts, we’re creating something that draws our attention to where we want it to go. And with the breathing, it’s amazing how much just that pause, not only because you’re pausing to count the breasts, but just that relaxation relaxes your mind, gets you to refocus, not just respond to something and allows you to honestly assess what you want. Because a lot of times in that immediate wanting to take action, you default back into what’s comfortable, convenient. You almost even give yourself permission and make an excuse for yourself to just do what you’ve always done. Well, I just don’t have the power. I just don’t have the self-control. I don’t have the willpower. No, I’m sorry. You do. You have all of those things, but we have to make the choice to have them.

(18:12):
And I’m very much a tough love person for myself and for everybody I work with. So for me, it is even in those pauses, not just saying, well, what do I want in the future? But why am I feeling like I don’t deserve this? Why am I feeling like I should give up on myself? And I think that honest reflection a lot of times is like, well, heck no. I’m better than this. Right? There gets a little like dust his shoulders off. It’s recognizing not only why you deserve it, but sometimes just saying strength is built through what you overcome. And the first few times you take that pause as hard as it is, that’s ultimately what makes you more comfortable being uncomfortable in that way. And so for me, it is a lot of environmental shifts. It’s not having the candy in the cabinet, but putting it in the freezer even though it tastes even more delicious, arguably in the freezer.

(19:01):
It’s that pause that creates the environmental shift that originally created that now helps. And so now I have that whole cycle in place. It’s putting out the gym bag or putting out the different things I need to handle. I hate for some reason responding to different mail things, even though I’ll respond to emails in two seconds. But if it comes in the actual mail, which generally are more important tax things that you have to do, whatever, but I for some reason, dislike doing them. But if I put them on my keyboard on my desk, I will do them because I have to pick it up to move it. So I’m that lazy that I will do it right? It’s just those small things that almost seem so silly that can be the biggest pauses and shifts just because they make us actually have to take action in a different way. And where our attention goes, our energy flows, right?

Ashley (19:48):
Yes. Oh, it’s one of my favorite statements and one of my beliefs is you have to know that in the driver’s seat of your life. You have to know that the direction you are determining the direction of who you’re going to be a year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now, and this is where everything that you just said reminded me of. Another tactic that people can utilize in the thought processes is we’re so impulse and dopamine driven sometimes as human beings, that as you’re interrupting your thoughts and your flows and kind of taking control of your life, one thing that you always have to ask yourself, is this serving the future version of myself actually going to thank me for this? Because sure, right now in the moment, I might be tired, I might be stressed, I might be joyous, I might have all of these different things, but a week from now, am I going to regret that I made the choice that I’m making right now, three months down the line, am I going to regret the way that I’ve handled the last three weeks or the decisions I’m making today?

(21:01):
And it really starts putting into your mind this future focus where it’s not all about the present moment and just the present moment, but now you’re living for something that is, I don’t want to say greater than yourself because it’s you. You’re pretty great. Do you deserve that for yourself? Does the future version of yourself actually deserve that? And when you start thinking about it that way and having more of a No, I want to live a purpose driven life wherever I’m going, I want to make sure that I am driving somewhere intentional as we start living that and start having that thought process and asking ourselves, again, pausing, what decision do I want to make for my future self? And I’ll just say this, sometimes the decision is yes, I do need to rest today because if I go work out right at this moment, I might pull my hamstring because my mind muscle connection isn’t there. And if I’m going to do that, if this happens, then I’m going to workout tomorrow at this time instead and starting to use the technique of even if then I’m in the driver’s decision, I can decide if I’m going to work out or not. And if I make this decision, then this is the consequence that comes of that decision, if you will.

(22:22):
Bargaining with yourself in that way can be another strategy. You can use that pause too.

Cori (22:29):
I definitely want to talk about bargaining because I think that can even sometimes steer into taking ownership of the fact that we are dopamine driven. Because I use it, and I don’t call it bargaining, but I think it’s very much along the same lines of, well, I can work out, or if I don’t want to work out, I have to work out to listen to this podcast that I really want to listen to or with not wanting to do the dishes, I also get to do this other fun thing. So it’s even combining and using things that really are that fix that we want with things that maybe we don’t want to do, or I hate foam rolling, I don’t want to do it. Okay, well, I get to watch X amount of Netflix if I also have foam roll during these different points in the show. So it’s sometimes connecting things that you are driven to do with things that you aren’t driven to do, to give you that pause to want to do them, and even potentially create some positive associations so that you want to ingrain in those habits potentially even faster too.

Ashley (23:29):
Oh, it’s so good. Using our dopamine fix to our advantage is so smart. And again, there brings a fun level to it and a joyous occasion to it because so often I will hear from people like, oh, I have to work out, I have to work out. And I’m like, is there anything that we enjoy here? I had a client once who her favorite thing about working out was the outfits that she got to buy to workout in. She loved it. She’s like, I love a cute gym outfit. I’m like, more power to you. I’m a t-shirt and sweatpants girl, but I love that for you and you love it for you. And so her thing was, okay, if I’m consistent this long, I get to go buy this new outfit. And when you start kind of combining that reward factor, like you said, that dopamine, and again, not guilting yourself over it, okay, yeah, I’m driven with some rewards. Awesome. How can I start partnering those things together and marrying them together so that I am both moving in the direction I want to go? And what you said, Cori was so important, starting to associate positive associations.

(24:43):
There is usually so many patterns people have had throughout their years of dieting and feeling like failure or feeling like they had these lived experiences of, well, in the past, my pattern has been to quit or to fail or to lose it and gain it. And so with that, there’s these negative associations with the process. I love asking the question, well, how much fun, positive joy can we start partnering with this experience so it doesn’t feel like so much resistance in it? You can tell me a little bit about your experience here, but I hear this a lot with tracking or when people go into a calorie deficit for the first time, there’s a fear response and they’re like, Ooh, they just cringe with it. And I’m like, okay, well let’s pause here. Let’s pause and figure out where that’s coming from. Okay, can we even use a strategy of a little game? How many treats can I fit into my macros on this cycle so that I can figure out how to actually not hate being in a calorie deficit? Because look at, I can have as many treats as I want as long as it fits my macros.

Cori (26:03):
I think that’s key because as a dessert person, for me, tracking seemed restrictive. And then I realized, wait, I’ve always cut out all these things without tracking, and now with tracking, I can work them in. So my trying to restrict food groups before was more restrictive than tracking, but because a lot of times we have used tracking to cut things out, we have that negative association. So pausing to really assess why we have attitudes towards things and break down how we’ve used ’em in the past is super important. That’s why I like having people just track to start because they see there’s no judgment in it, there’s nothing they can’t have. And then from there, they can adjust based on what they actually want. And I love your example of working in the things and seeing how much of a game you can make it.

(26:44):
Same thing with meal prep, right? A lot of times people have meal prepped and they’ve had chicken and broccoli. I actually do like chicken and broccoli to some extent, but I want diversity. And so if you only think about meal prepping in that way, that’s not going to be fun. But if you go look for new recipes and cookbooks and search on IG and Pinterest, you can find so many good things that make all these different habits really fun. But it goes back to what we’ve been talking about, power of the pause to assess why do I have certain attitudes and what can change this for me?

Ashley (27:19):
It’s so good. It’s so good what you just said. I think if there’s any two questions that somebody were to walk away with today, it would be those two questions right there. Why does this exist? So getting super curious without judgment towards yourself, working in that intentional reflection, is it at the end of the day for you? Is it at the end of a week as you’re looking through things, you have a cup of coffee, sit on your back deck, think about your week. What is that experience going to be like? And then second, asking yourself, well, what can I add in to this experience even before I take away? What can I add in that’s going to give me more of what I want? Is it quick and easy meals? Are those things that are important to me? Is it more treats? I’m also a treat person.

(28:05):
I want them, right? What is it that I want to bring into my health and wellness experience? And this is why I always ask clients when first starting with them, what is your ideal vision for your health and wellness? Magic genie pops out of a bottle. It’s like you get three wishes. You get these. If you could have anything, what could those be? And Cori, if I could tell you how many times people aren’t sure because they’ve never actually stopped to think about it and no one’s asked them, well, what do you actually want your health and wellness to look like, feel like? What do you want your process? Do you want to go hard in the paint or do you want it to be a little bit more slow because you’re like, I want to implement one thing at a time. Do you want this to be something?

(28:54):
There’s not the pause that they haven’t even thought about it. And so when I get to start working with a client, that’s the first thing we’re going to pause. We’re going to actually ask these questions of ourselves, and then we’re going to start piece by piece asking, well, what needs to change in order to get there and how do we go about that? So that’s where even as somebody is starting out at asking themselves what has changed, but I’ll just give this as a freebie too. One of my other favorite questions to ask people is, when was the last time you felt your best? Because in this reactive, crazy life, people go, man, 20 years ago, what was different about life 20 years ago, comparative to right now? Because if we can figure out the gaps between what was and what is now and then even go and where do we want to go from there? It allows people to pick out what’s changed before and what do I want to change now? So a lot of reflection in there. Journaling’s a great prompt if you’re a journaler, if you’re an analog person, maybe you’re a verbal processor. I will just say, this is where a coach comes in handy because you can verbal process at your coach and they can help bring some clarity. But even if you don’t have a coach, having a support person in your life that you can process with can also be really strong.

Cori (30:27):
I think there are so many great tips in that, and one of the biggest summaries of that is question and be curious. And I would add in a little bit, dare to dream because I think part of why we don’t ever achieve as much as we’d want is because we do limit ourselves whole other subject for another day. But we need to dare to dream. And if you want to implement the power of the pause, all these things are questioning and being curious about why you have that response. So in the moment, if you take that deep breath, you do the box breathing, you ask yourself, Hey, why is this coming up right now? Even that right there can make you really assess what you want and then put in the actions that you really feel you need to move forward towards your goals. So Ashley, three key takeaways for you from all of this that you want people to have in terms of using the power of the pause.

Ashley (31:21):
Let me think. Because when I get to this point, I always need a pause. I’m like, oh, there’s so many big things that people could take away. I would say the first thing is one, understand what’s going on internally. Understand that your brain and body are designed a certain way. And as you understand that, you use that too as a strategy to know that you can make a choice and that you can start choosing. And I say that very intentionally because sometimes people will slide into, well, this is just the way that I am and I can’t control it. No, no, no. Knowledge is power. Once you can know what your body and mind are doing now, you can use that to your advantage. So one, have that understanding without shame, without guilt. Two, get curious. So start working it into your day-to-day life or even weekly, that opportunity, 30, 60 minutes to just reflect on what is going well.

(32:16):
It doesn’t have to be super deep. You can say, what is going well? What is not going well? What do I want to focus on in this next week? Really simple. Third, what strategies are you going to use? So if you’ve noted a specific behavior or something that you want to change internally, maybe again, we’ll use the same example, stressed out, tired, you need to go to the gym, but you’re craving that shamrock shake. Okay, notice that. What’s the pattern interruption? What am I going to do differently this week? What am I going to try out? And then the biggest thing, after you try out that strategy, make sure you come back to the reflection. How did that work for me? Am I going to keep doing it in this way? So those are my big takeaways. It’s almost like a step by step. If you want to simplify it, understand, get curious, take an action off of that.

Cori (33:14):
And then pause again. Right?

Ashley (33:16):
It’s a cycle. It just keeps going. Yes!

Cori (33:19):
It does. We’re constantly learning and growing. And Ashley, thank you so much for all of this. I would love to hear how all of you are going to be using the power of the pause, what questions you really use to reflect and how you’ve shifted your environment, bargained with yourself, created those changes through really understanding where you’re at now and what you need to move forward during the most stressful times. There we go. Ashley, thank you again. It was fabulous to discuss the power of the pause with you.

Ashley (33:48):
Absolutely. Thanks, Cori.

*Note: This transcript is autogenerated there may be some unintended errors.

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